Posted: November 11th, 2018

♔ Aarav ♔

2.13 Sins of Fathers

          Jhanvi clears her throat as I pick up my spoon to have breakfast. Before she can speak, I jump to my own defense, "I did not bring my tablet today. You can't scold me again."

Yet, she does. "Oh, hush. You're not the one in trouble today. They are."

I follow her gaze to Vikas and Aarush. Huh. That's different, for once. I wonder what the two perfect soldiers did. The two of them look just as clueless on what their fault is.

Vikas questions, "Why, we're sitting with you for breakfast today without you having to tell us, aren't we?"

"Ugh, not that." She answers casually. "This is just to inform that my name is Jhanvi and I happen to like that name."

"Okay?" He answers still in confusion.

She sags back in her chair, with a sigh on understanding she was going to have to spell it out for us. "That means, call me by my name. Anyone who calls me Mrs. Raizada, I will not answer. Understood?"

He is quick to nod and dare I say... this guy seems more scared of her than me. Then again, I'll say all guys will be scared of a pregnant lady high on her estrogens. That is not something anyone wants to mess with.

Though... when did Vikas call her Mrs. Raizada?

Her gaze shifts to Aarush who simply picks up his toast and starts spreading butter over it. He shows no acknowledgement over her words. She grumbles curses under her breath that I catch simply because I am sitting next to her.

Oh, this is amusing.

I watch her watch him for a few seconds longer before she accepts defeat and understands she isn't going to get a response from him. She picks up her spoon and digs into her scrambled eggs.

Hmm, I wonder. Aarush and Jhanvi?

Else, I can't think of a reason why she'd insist on being called her name and not Mrs. Raizada. From having known her all these months, one thing I have learned is that she wouldn't bother herself with a small detail if it wasn't important in some form.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Early in the evening, I am just reading a book - that is how bored I have been. I am always doing something or the other - it feels like I have forgotten what it is like to take a break and bask in the fact that I have nothing to do. It just goes against my personality. I need something to do.

My heart skips over when my phone rings. Assuming it must be someone from home, I get out of bed to reach for it instantly. It is also abnormal for me to have no contact with them for days. It is routine, otherwise, for me to call someone or the other when I am away from home - and when I call one person, almost always I get to talk to everyone as if they would just be huddled around all of their phones to see who I will call today and then gang up on that phone.

I read the caller ID. Confused I answer, "Hi, Ishaan?"

Ishaan is Nikita and Abhimanyu's son. Though we are family friends too given Khushi, Riddhima, and Armaan were friends in college, we are not as much in touch. That family is closer to Riddhima and Gupta. It is rare of him to call me.

He replies sounding worried, "Aarav bhai, hi. I know I am not supposed to call. Siya warned me not to but she is here and she won't stop crying. Will you please talk to her?"

My back stiffens in immediate concern as he mentions Arshiya and crying in the same sentence. Almost never will Arshiya cry. She is more the kind to making others want to pull their hair off their head and cry themselves. And then there is the fact that even if she is crying, Ishaan isn't able to get her to stop crying? I have known that kid to do some weird shit to make her stop crying the rare times she does cry.

"Yeah, yeah. Ofcourse. Give her the phone," I reply at once. I wait for the phone to be passed and though she does not say anything, I hear a sniff. "Aru, bacha, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Did Ishaan do something?"

"N-No." she replies with a hiccup.

Ofcourse, I know he hasn't done anything. He never does - and if by some rare occurrence he did, Arshiya would have given him tit for tat.

"Then what is it?" I gently try to get her to talk but I hate the sobbing sounds at the other end of the line, "Dove, please na. Stop crying. You know I hate that. Tell me who made you cry and I promise I will make them regret it."

"Dad..."

My brows pull together in confusion. Now, the two may clash a lot but he loves her to death. It would never go till the extent where he would say something to hurt her enough to make her cry. "You had a fight with dad again?"

"No, no."

"You're not making sense, Aru."

I hear a sharp inhale as if to compose herself before she speaks the words that shake my core, "They arrested dad."

I stand up even when I feel my knees shake, "Wh-what?"

Who would dare do that?

"Everyone told me... not to tell you. But..."

I catch that she is worried everyone will be mad at her for informing me but we can deal with that later. I try to get her to give me the details, "Aru, shh. It's okay. You did the right thing. Tell me everything that happened."

"That... that monster accused dad of kidnapping."

All air rushes out of my lungs and I want to breathe in, but that natural process seems to be disturbed. We knew it would only be a matter of time before Shyam would do something. But... but pushing on my weak buttons to get me to him? I don't know why I am surprised. Why did a stupid part of me hope that he would leave us alone? I was never a naïve person. Then... why?

I shake the thoughts away, scolding myself that now is not the time to go about doing that. "I'm coming back."

I am about to end the call when I hear her rushed response, "No! No, bhai. Listen. You can't do that."

"Why the hell not?" I counter. "There is no way I am sitting back while he hurts our family."

"Bhai..." she speaks in that pleading tone that somewhere appeals to calm my anger... just enough to listen to her. "You don't think I want you back? That I too want dad out of jail? But if you come back, you are giving in to what he wants. He wants you and Jhanvi di to come back because he knows there is no way you'll sit by and let dad be falsely accused. That is what he is counting on."

I curse words under my breath. This... this is why no one must have informed me. I want to be mad at my family for not telling me the second it happened, but this is what they do. They have always just tried to protect me since my birth. They keep doing that again and again, and once again, they suffer because of me.

"Promise me, bhai. You won't come here."

"Arshiya..." she cannot be serious right now.

She insists in her serious voice, "No, bhai. Promise me. There are plenty people here who will get dad out. It might take some time but they will make it happen and you know that."

I counter for this is stupid. "But if I come there and give a statement, it's all over in a second."

"And then what happens? Both you and Jhanvi di are in trouble. He didn't say that dad kidnapped you when you were a child. He accused dad of kidnapping Jhanvi."

"So she has to give the statement," I conclude aloud. That can't happen either.

Arshiya says what I already know, "Yeah, and you can't ask that of her."

How in hell am I supposed to pick between dad and Jhanvi? If we go back to save dad, Jhanvi's life will be in trouble. But if we stay... well, staying is not an option either. And Shyam knew... this is the exact dilemma he must have wanted me to face.

To make the impossible choice.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          The door flies open as I sit against the bed frame on the floor with my knees cuddled to my chest. I hear the conversation but feel numb on the inside to speak anything.

Vikas speaks, "Maybe you shouldn't be here right now."

"He is not going to hurt me. It's alright. I got this." A faint voice replies confidently that has my ears perk up. Annie? No... it can't be her. I am too drunk.

I hear the door clicking shut before she resumes walking around the broken glasses to get to me. Familiar hands wrap around my arms, "Come on, Aarav. Get up."

I resist her attempt to pull me up. No, I just want to stay here in my tiny bubble where no one can hurt me.

She seems to get that for she exhales and finds herself a spot to sit next to me.

I don't know how long passes as we just sit there. It feels like a long time before I hear my own strange voice, my throat dry from all the alcohol I've downed, "I can't do this."

Everything is wrong because of me. I have screwed up everything. Dad is in jail. I don't know what the situation is there but Khushi cannot be handling it well. Or, mom. Both of them must be scared and I am not there. Is it not my duty as a son to look after them? I am not able to help Jhanvi either despite having all the money and power at disposal. We are no closer to eliminating the threat on her life than we were years ago. And Annie... I may as well have ruined everything with her. I hurt her when I was so sure she is one person I would never hurt. You don't hurt the people you love, do you? What sort of a love is that then?

"Do what?"

"I can't do this." I seem to want to just repeat that. I don't want to explain anything. "I just can't. I can't."

"Aarav, look at me." The command in her voice gets me to turn my head sideways and look at her through a blurry vision. Her hand comes to my cheek and her voice turns soft in request, "Please talk to me."

I am too far gone in my vulnerable state to know what I am saying. "Can you bring her back to me?"

She shakes her head disappointed in me. I pout looking away. I know this has to be a dream because only Annie will look at me with that disappointment but also, she couldn't be here. She is mad at me. Neither does she know where I am. She can't be here.

Did I pass out after all that drinking?

She stands up, taking my hand and pulling, "Okay, that's it. No more wallowing in self-pity. Get up and sober the hell up. This is not like you at all."

I chuckle, "You sound like Angel..." I look up but wince at the head movement and close my eyes, dropping my head again. "But you are not her. Is this a dream or am I hallucinating?"

If I am hallucinating, it might be best to get checked out by a doctor... right?

She doesn't answer but somehow manages to get me to stand up. As I wobble to maintain my balance, I drop my forehead on her shoulder. She staggers under my weight before we fall back on the bed. A sound escapes her mouth at the impact.

"Aarav!" she scolds trying to push me off her.

I manage to pull myself up on one elbow. Her hands on my shoulders attempt to nudge me aside but my other hand comes to her cheeks, tucking her hair back. "Did I hurt you?"

Her eyes bore into mine as I ask the question with such meaning. "No." she eventually replies.

Somehow in my drunk state, I can still pick up that it's a lie. I have no control over my eyes starting to fill up with tears. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be drunk right now."

My eyes follow her throat as she swallows and then acknowledge the soft touch of her palm on my cheek wiping away the trail of tear. "It's okay, Aarav. Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Promise?"

She nudges me aside and I lie down with my back on the mattress. "Sleep this off, okay?"

My brows pull together in a small crinkle of confusion. Sleep? This is a dream though, isn't it? "But I am already asleep, aren't I?"

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          The next morning, I sit up with a groan and clutch my heavy head in my palms. 

"Good morning, sleepy head."

I wince further at the sound, "Not so loud, Shona."

She expresses her disapproval even as she hands me a glass of juice and a pill for the hangover, "Should have thought of that before drinking like a mad man."

I accept the glass with a sigh and she sits at the small space across from me. "I'm sorry; I didn't plan on it."

"I know." She replies with a small smile before nodding towards the pill in the center of my palm. I gulp it down with a sip of juice just as she adds, "Your dad has been released."

My eyes snap to hers, "What? How?"

She reprimands lightly instead of answering, "Why didn't you just tell me, Aarav? Have I not already told you to stop keeping things from me?"

I don't apologize. "Shona, no matter what, my first instinct is always going to be to protect those I love. It's embedded in my system, okay? I can't change that."

"Alright, but can you atleast treat me as an equal? I've told you - I am not fragile and neither am I stupid or impulsive. I know the reasons we have to stay here."

I reach for her hand on understanding atleast that part of the issue, "Okay, I am sorry for that. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just knew you'd want to go back if you found out to help dad..."

"Aarav, in the choice between me and someone else, you can't keep choosing me. That man has given everything to raise you. I don't want you to hurt yourself like this because you were pushed into a corner."

I get that this is not an argument of two different perspectives. We both want the same thing. I express putting the glass aside on the night table by the bed, "Don't think that way, Shona. I wasn't just choosing you. I was also choosing to not let him win."

"By making Arnav uncle loose?" She asks unable to comprehend that.

"No, not at all. Like Aru said, everything dad has done would have been foiled if we had gone back. Even though I hate myself for this, staying meant it wasn't all for nothing." I add with an exhale, staring down at the blanket, "And I know dad. I know what he'd say. He'd rather stay a thousand nights in jail than let Shyam near me."

"I believe that," she quietly replies.

I look up at her because I heard a pinch of sadness in her voice. I imagine she thinks about her own father. The guy who devised a plan to sacrifice her and her mother's life to get revenge on her and her lover while also escaping those who wanted to make him pay for going against their tradition to marry someone who wasn't a royal blood. And then there is my dad who would take every strike upon himself meant for me.

But, she should also look at the fact that there is a complete flip between Arnav dad and Shyam. The later was no better. Even if nothing else, we had that in common. Sins of fathers. There is no escaping that. No matter how much we turn our back to the reality.

"Hey..."

She puts a smile on her face and pushes that aside, "Anyway, it's solved for now. I called my bua."

"And she agreed to help?" I ask in surprise. When we visited her, she did not leave an opportunity to express her hatred for me and my dad.

She speaks in her favor, "You underestimate her, Aarav. As much as you think she hates you, she cares for me more - even if she doesn't best express that at times. She is not all that bad."

I do see that now. Once again, I am reminded that people are not all black and white. Good and evil. There is an in between. Good and bad changes depending on the circumstances they are forced into. "No... she isn't." I express in agreement. "Comparing to the other evils in our life, she is not bad at all."

Once we are out of this hiding, I owe Mohini Raichand a lot for being the unexpected help when I felt all doors were closing in.

Jhanvi suggests in conclusion, "Next time you feel like you can't think straight or find a way out, tell me, okay? Two minds are better than one."

I smile with a nod. "They are. Thank you."

She glares in a scolding, "Aarav, seriously? If you are going to start being this formal, I am going to have say that too for all the times you and your family have saved me - and let me tell you now itself, that'd be pretty tough given I don't even have a count."

I chuckle catching her point. "Fair enough. Though I will say it once more - not formally but because I do appreciate it for last night."

"What are you talking about?"

"Putting me to bed. I was a mess. So, thanks and sorry too if I gave you a hard time. I don't remember much." I don't pay much attention to her expression as I push the covers aside to get out of bed at the rumbling in my stomach, "Anyway, I'll quickly shower. Is breakfast ready? I feel like I am going to have to eat if I don't want to faint."

Never again am I drinking as much. As if diabetes isn't enough, why did I think adding alcohol in the mix was a smart idea?

"Yeah," she absentmindedly replies. I push the bathroom door to walk in when I stop as she calls my name. "Aarav?"

"Yeah." I turn to face her. I wait for her but she has an unreadable expression as if debating whether to tell me what she wants to. I tease, "Forget what you wanted to say?"

She stands up and as she informs, the teasing smile fades from my lips. "It wasn't me last night."

My heart beats faster and I can hear the pulse in my ear. Am I to trust the fuzzy memories? "Then... who?"

She indirectly confirms, "You know who, Aarav."

I feel a surge of air coming into my lungs. Fuck. Angel... she was here last night. I didn't dream it. Again, what the hell was I thinking being so drunk that...?

The innocent words I'd spoken come back to me and I realize the deep meaning behind them.

Did I hurt you?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note ∞

So... I am not much satisfied with the chapter. I don't feel it has the impact I wanted there to be :/ It wasn't the easiest to write Aarav-Annie interaction when the boy is drunk beyond himself. It would have been better from Annie's perspective..? Don't be disappointed though. Next chapter is from his POV as well! Time to make up for the lack of Aarav POV's thus far, am I right? I will most likely be posting it tomorrow as it is already written - also wasn't able to update mid-week so thought I'd just go ahead and post it since I was in the mood today morning and wrote more than I expected to :)

QOTC: Thoughts on Aarav's actions?