Forewarning: this part is quite a wordy read & I did not expect for it get this long but please do give it a shot. You won't regret <3

Dearest readers,

Firstly, I hope not many of you are too disappointed. I'd already warned/asked to keep an open mind and it will be unclear who ends up with whom. (Even now, I cannot tell you the end game as I have not thought that far ahead). 

But the way book 1 has concluded, I feel it necessary to explain so far why I have written it the way I have. So, here is my take to help you understand the complexity that I have attempted to bring out.

In the beginning, I told you this is Aarav's journey. As such, I did not want this to be a love story between two people. I wanted this to simply tell a story of love and life. Of how one person can come to realize the meaning of the word. Of how something could be right in front of your eyes but we humans keep searching for it elsewhere. Of how we may think there is something better out there. Of how loving someone doesn't necessarily mean that they love you back - and as such, because they do not love you back, it also does not mean that you stop loving them. 

Love does not come in only one form, as we all know. It comes in multiple forms and nor is it always requitted and end happily and sometimes, it takes us by surprise. 

Now, breaking down the characters:

The very first thing I would like to say is that Aarav, Jhanvi & Annie are drawn from life. They are not 'real' events, ofcourse, but they are a combination of such traits. Their backgrounds may be dramatized for story-telling purposes but their thoughts, feelings, actions are meant to symbolize an average person's dilemmas. Perhaps a part or two that you yourself can connect to: be it in any of the characters.

More specifically...

Aarav: He spent his life growing up with a fixed idea that the end was going to be him and Jhanvi. As such, he sidelined everything that was in front of him. Told himself over and over again that he loves Jhanvi till he started believing that as well. 

How many of us fall in love with the idea of loving someone? Or have first crushes and take that to be something more because either it is easy to do or because we are fooling ourselves into thinking it will last? We read all these cliche high school sweetheart stories and even know of some in real life and believe it will survive past college, etc but only a handful do. 

Love has no clear definition and as such, it can get misdirected. The same happened with him. He took something and multiplied it tenfold. He forgot about the journey and only focused on the destination, unaware that along the way, things change - and that it is okay that life took such a turn. He can't be blamed for it because he did have every good intention but... when it comes to love, can you really control the heart? No. Heart rebels and there is nothing you can do about it.

If you still need to understand why he loves Annie more even after his and Jhanvi's conversations, then I'd say it's because he has far more memories with Annie which are real but with Jhanvi, it's what he wanted so desperately that he convinced himself it was real. With Annie, he's grown up with her. He confides everything in her. He tells her his insecurities. He gives her everything without any hesitancies. He isn't afraid of showing his dark side to her because they have that deep a connection. And her love is the kind of pure love that keeps him going. And, in short, it's not wrong to love your best friend because many a time, no one can match up to that relationship.

I once read a quote on IG after I'd already started writing H&H and I saved it, feeling how very apt it was. It goes like this: He hugged her, but never kissed her. Dreamt about her, but never fantasized. Loved her, but never confessed. Wanted to be her boyfriend, but was her bestfriend. If you ask me, it speaks volumes to his feelings. 

Lastly, "As much as I want to stop her, I bite back my tongue." -: This from Aarav in the introduction... he's wanted to say it since but he couldn't. He didn't say it that night, but if you'll catch the hints, he has said "Love you too" to Annie hundreds of times since then as if it would make up for his silence that night.  He couldn't say it back then but since , he'd always say it in a way that'd make it casual and Annie wouldn't read anything into it but in some way, his heart kept saying it. He just couldn't listen... until Jhanvi shows him there is nothing wrong with it and that in love, you should listen to your heart's voice more than your mind's.

I know it's not 'good enough' and you expect him to be a better man and for him to have been clear on his feelings but that's the exact flaw in him. That despite having such role models growing up, he is not perfect - as Jhanvi says - and in our own lives, even we have a hard time differentiating sometimes because the lines are blurry and everything is not clear-cut. We don't know what we feel for someone since day 1. We have to figure it out. It's a process. It's a journey. And Aarav needed this impact from Jhanvi to reach that point.

Jhanvi: In a way, I can connect with her personally. She is a girl who isn't looking for perfection in others. Or even love per se. She is a strong girl with some clear morals that she taught herself. No one was there in her life to teach her the difference between right and wrong. She taught that to herself and she is trying to stick by that. She is not a girl who accepts things given to her easily. Not until she feels like she deserves it. 

She is still figuring out who she is and along the way, learns who she is not: one who could stand in between Aarav's happiness - the only friend she's ever had. She is the girl who was thrown into Aarav's life but because she came later, she was able to take a step back and look at things with an unbiased eye to realize that even if she were getting the perfect thing without asking for it, it wasn't hers to take. At her place in life, she needed a friend to believe in her, to help her sort out her life, and for her, that was Aarav. Then, she simply had to show her friend that his love was misguided. 

For her, her child and their life take the front line now whereas, since the beginning, romance has never been the 'it' for her. 

My intention for her character is this cliche we see all the time in shows: a guy falls for a new girl that comes in his life. Then to have the girl realize her feelings, out of nowhere, the guy's best friend enters the picture. The guy completely takes the best friend for granted and even uses her to create some jealousy. The new girl and the guy get together, sure, but then the best friend leaves broken-hearted, turns into a negative character, or the guy takes it on himself to find someone else for her. Why? So he doesn't feel guilty?

It's always been a pet peeve of mine of how the storytellers manage to use the said best friend to spice up the main couple's story.

And tell me, why is it that the two people (Aarav & Jhanvi here) who meet always have to have feelings for each other? Can a main character (Jhanvi) still not remain the main character by instead showing the guy where his true feelings lie? Does that lessen the importance of the character in any way? No. If you ask me, it makes her character more impactful and gives it meaning. It gives her that kind of rare quality that we all look for in others and our protagonists as there has to be something about them that we love.

Annie: Again, the way I have created her has my personal feelings. Falling in love with Aarav was never her plan. but with how close their friendship was, and the way Aarav treated her, she couldn't help herself. Again, you cannot control the heart. Slowly, gradually, it falls for the one person it shouldn't despite all the logic thrown at us because again, love doesn't heed logic. Thus, even when Annie knew thousands of reason not to, that one reason won over. Do we, in our own lives, not do that? So, does it not make her character real?

She's never asked him to love her back. That is not even a possibility in her mind and she's long since accepted that. And personally speaking, even when we know we should move on from someone, when feelings are that strong, it'll hold us back for years. Especially considering that Annie has known Aarav her whole life. You can't just pick another guy and move on - not because you're holding on to hope that one day he'll love you back, but because you have an unrequited love that needs healing and you choose when or if you can move on.

And for her, even though a big part of her is that she is in love with Aarav, she has never let that be her only identity. Like Jhanvi, she is independent and lives life on her own terms. 

As the questions I raised above while explaining Jhanvi, I wanted to create a character where she is the best friend but she isn't a negative character and only there for a cameo or to serve the purpose of a love triangle. That, for me, doesn't justify her character. If you'll ask me, I'll say she is just as important as Aarav or Jhanvi. 

All I can say is that how many best friends in real life are 'friend zoned' (I dislike the word but for the sake of discussion, I'll use it)? But we don't stop loving the person just because, right? Neither do we turn into TV's vamps and do everything in our power to break the couple apart and create misunderstandings. I honestly don't understand turning into a negative character because, in life, you will meet so many more people ready to lift your spirits and encourage you to pursue something than those who will pull you down & stop you from advancing.

I can tell you that if I had feelings for a guy but he was with someone else, yes it would hurt me but I would also want him to be happy with his life because that is reality :) That is what Annie does & hopefully that message came across?

And maybe you can relate to her, maybe you can't... Maybe there are more readers in support of Aarav and Jhanvi as opposed to Aarav and Annie because this book has seen main POVs from the former two and nothing from Annie - but that was exactly what I was going for. That it starts out as Aarav and Jhanvi's journey, but it isn't limited to just the two of them. That Aarav needed to come to his answers before you can know anything from Annie's side. Another purpose for not including her POV thus far was that I have plans for her character. As I said earlier, her character is not meant t serve the only purpose of Aarav's 'love interest'. She is an independant, strong character as you know by now and simply being his love would not justify her character.

On a side note, I was listening to some 90s songs and I came across these beautiful set of lyrics from the movie Dil To Pagal Hai which I feel scream Annie to me. 

Jispe hum mar mite usko pata bhi nahin. Kya gila hum karein vo bewafa bhi nahin. Humne jo sun liya usne kaha bhi nahin. Ae dil zara soch kar pyaar kar. Translation: Whom I die for, he doesn't even know it. What should I complain about, he is not even unfaithful to me. The words I heard from him, he never even said it. Oh, my heart, think again before you fall in love.

So, once again, the way I have weaved the two ladies is by installing a bit of myself and own experiences and meanings of 'love' into the two. And Aarav, a guy who isn't perfect but has every good intention & tried to be perfect and maybe he couldn't but it doesn't lessen who he is. 

You've trusted me thus far in delivering good plots, and hopefully unique ones. I did not want to tell a predictable story of two people. I wanted to pass a message of something different and something real that is inspired by so many people's stories. Normal stories. 

I'm taking a huge gamble, I know. It's not easy to have the readers love two characters only for there to be a plot twist and then ask them to imagine them with different people. There is that huge chance that I will lose some readers. Still, I do wish you'll continue reading this into book 2 where I have planned many more exciting things to continue. I'm taking this chance to write something different and I hope you too will take that chance to read it :)

This time, not just Aarav's journey but Jhanvi and Annie, as well as a fourth character whom I think you can guess, is being moved from side character to regular {the way it happens in English shows (; } and a hope for all of them towards their happiness - wherever, whenever, whomever.

Please stay tuned for information on when the next book will be released and the kinds of questions from book 1 that you can expect to be answered in book 2! 

Till then, I look forward to hearing your thoughts on my take. Do be honest - I don't get offended easily :)

Once again, thank you for joining me on this journey so far! I truly cannot express the importance of it & maybe I shall see you on the next phase as well?

Much Love,

Araina Khushi.