*This song is so beautiful & heart-wrenching & just... idk, something about it that is so romantic. For many reasons, I imagine Aarav for it. Especially: "Kal mujhse mohabbat ho na ho/Kal mujhko ijazat ho na ho/Toote dil ke tukde lekar/Tere darr pe hi reh jaaunga". In my mind, it's this song Aarav & Annie are dancing to :)*

http://www.bollymeaning.com/2017/04/main-phir-bhi-tumko-chahunga-lyrics.html <-- english translation

♔ Aarav ♔

As I drag Annie to the dance floor, she still tries to talk her way out of it. "Aarav, really. I am tired. I really..."

Tugging at her arm to make her turn towards me, I move her hands to my shoulder and place mine on her waist. "Just dance with me." I cut off her attempts.

Her shoulders drop in defeat and locking her hands behind my neck, she listens.

Swaying to the soft tune of the music, I ask in a quiet voice to find out how long she'll stay. "Do you already have your next project planned out?"

"Yeah, I have a few events I'm doing next month in Australia."

I make it known in a firm voice so she won't try to protest, "Good, then you'll stay here till then." Next month is still three weeks away.

She still tries to argue, "I was actually thinking of going early. Spend some time at the shelter and then with Sky." She mentions her friend from high school she is close to.

"You can do that while you're there." I say and then nudge her closer to make her look up at me. When she finally locks her eyes with mine, I question. "Why don't you want to stay?"

She denies what I am implying – that she is running away yet again. "You're overthinking, Aarav. I just want to go home." She says looking past my shoulder but even if she won't look at me, I can hear the control wavering in her voice.

I bring one hand off her waist to her chin and patiently wait for her to come around. Seconds after, her eyes flicker back to mine. That is when I say, "This is home."

We both know that.

She blinks away and moves to hug my arm, resting her chin on my shoulder so I won't make her look at me again. Now... others may question our proximity while dancing, almost hugging, but it feels like the most normal thing to me after ages. I miss having her close by.

She whispers as if afraid her voice will break if she speaks clearly, "This hasn't felt like home for a long time."

That hurts. Because isn't home where people you love are? It's not a place or a building where you have grown up but with the people with whom you share those memories with. And I know... we have been that for each other.

Forcing the lump at the base of my throat, I express. "Because you keep running away."

She doesn't say anything, and yet her silence speaks in volumes. I wish... I wish I could tell her. She doesn't have to keep running away. But, I can't. I can't tell her how I feel. I can't ask her to stay either.

For the first time... I can't help but feel this pinch of anger and frustration. She will usually understand my moods, the meanings behind my said and unsaid words. Then, why not this? Even when I cannot say them, can she not hear it loud and clear?

I close my eyes and swallow but that ball of feelings returns to my throat. It's almost choking me but I have to keep this to myself. What I am doing... no, what I am feeling, it is wrong. I don't have the right to feel this way.

I have promises to keep.

As the song comes to an end, she pulls back. Her hand slides down to my chest where I am sure she can feel its unrhythmic pace when she turns her face just a bit to kiss my cheek in a parting. "I'm going to wish Khushi and then call it a night." She informs and pulling back, turns her back to me and walks away without meeting my eyes.

All I know and see is her hand sliding out of my palm.

Like many times when I've watched her leave, I hear pounding all the way to my head. Every time, she leaves and none of the those, I could stop her.

I fist my palm as my hand drops to my side so I can compose myself rather than feeling this uneasiness inside of me that I know will result in yet another tough, sleepless night.

I remind myself. Jhanvi. I need to keep my focus on Jhanvi. I am complicating this and I cannot. It was always simple. Me and Jhanvi. Then why did this have to happen? I cannot start to question where my feelings truly lie.

I must do right by Jhanvi.

Looking around, I sneak away from the party repeatedly clenching and unclenching my jaw to get a hold of myself but really, all I want to do is punch something and get everything off my chest. But this bout of anger, it refuses to go away because I am at fault. I blame myself. I had no one else to hold accountable for my actions... for my feelings.

I hear Vikas's voice, "Need to go somewhere?" and that is when I realize I'd walked myself to the driveway instead of inside the house.

I guess subconsciously, this whole time, I have been trying to escape but I haven't been so successful.

"What?" I answer as even though I heard him, my brain is having a difficult time processing.

He looks at me as if to analyze my face before commenting, "You look like you need to blow some steam off."

I scoff for isn't that the cruel truth. "You don't say," I mumble in agreement.

He takes off the set of car keys from his pocket and presses the remote button. "Alright, let's go." He announces and begins walking towards my car.

I deny, "No, I can't. I have to..." I trail off looking back at the party. I can't leave the celebrations.

He pauses to turn back to me and assures, "I'll have you back in an hour, boss." He opens the back door and instructs, "Now, get in. We are losing precious minutes."

Ugh. Why does he look like he'll chew me up if I do not listen to him? Remind me, who is whose boss? But... I cannot deny that he is right. If I do not blow some steam off and get my mind in order, it is likely to be self-destructive.

My feet seem to get that message for they began walking in the direction of the car - one foot in front of the other. However, reaching the door, I close it shut. He opens his mouth to object when I mutter, "Relax," and go on to open the door to the passenger side instead.

Right now, he wasn't doing the job of my security in charge who'd occasionally be my driver. Right now, he was being a friend and one friend doesn't seat in the back seat while the other friend is driving.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

An hour later, I find Arshiya and Kriana and drag them inside my room twisting their ears. Jhanvi walks out of the washroom just then having changed into her night clothes.

Arshiya complains, "Di, tell bhai not to be violent towards his sisters."

She watches in amusement as I make them sit on the couch with a scolding glare. "You two deserve this after what you did tonight."

Kriana is quick to jump to defense, "We didn't do anything!"

I place my hands on my hips, "Really now?" I challenge, looking to Arshiya. "Didn't I warn you not to play cupid again?"

The realization dawns on Arshiya as to what I am talking about. "Oh, c'mon bro. It was nothing. I just made Kriana dance with Rihaan."

"Nothing?" I question arching a brow before I lose it and actually scold them. "Aru, she was crying! It took me almost an hour to calm her down. Do you not know Sanya or what?"

Both were horrified and guilty. Kriana confirms to convince herself she was hearing things, "She was crying?"

I sigh and squat to reach their seated height instead of towering over them while standing. "Yes, you know Sanya. She gets easily hurt."

Arshiya defends, "I swear, bhai. I didn't think this would happen. I didn't do it to hurt her at all. I just thought if she saw Kriana and Rihaan, she might get a little jealous."

"I know you meant well, Dove, but this is Sanya." I explain it to both of them, "She doesn't get jealous. She gets insecure about herself. You know that. So why do you two push her all the time? If I hadn't gone after her, who knows, that silly girl would've convinced herself you and Rihaan like each other."

Kriana exclaims as I am referring to her, "What? Ew, no! I don't like him. He's like a brother."

I nod as that is exactly my point. "Yes. You know that. I know that. But she doesn't. She's going to see what you show her and she's always seen the two of you together going to places, bickering about. She has seen your friendship and takes that to be something else."

Kriana mutters under her breath, "That silly, silly, girl. She really would've sacrificed her feelings for me? Who even does that in today's age?!"

Well... there's two names I can think of. Sanya and Annie.

Arshiya says slumping back in the couch, "Sanya, that's who. She's like the sati savitri in kalyug."

I try to glare at her for the joke but my lips still twitch in a smile. I tap her head to cover up for it, "Now, I'm serious. Let them work this out on their own – even if its months or years. Let her learn to do things on her own, get things she wants in her own capacity. And for God's sake, stop manipulating Rihaan into doing things the way you two want."

At this, neither try to argue because they know they are guilty of everything I've just said. They mumble together in obedience, "Okay."

Satisfied that they'd understood the delicacy of the situation, I order while standing up. "Now get out. I'm sure Jhanvi would like to sleep without all our family drama."

Arshiya laughs instead of being offended, "Sorry bro, but she's stuck with us now."

Kriana walks up to Jhanvi, pulling an arm around her shoulder and chin on the other. "Yup, she's a part of this family too now. You don't get a say in kicking us out. Right, bhabhi?"

I glance at her in concern at the teasing word Kriana uses for her. I'm worried it'll make things awkward between us, but I have no idea if she is okay with it or chooses to skip over it as she casually goes along with the conversation, "Right. I've heard of this theater room in this house with the full stereo system and everything. How about we all go watch a movie?"

Arshiya squeals and hops to a stop in front of her with a tight hug of approval. "I love you! You are so made for this family."

Kriana chuckles, adding. "We are going to get along very well. Let's go."

None of them allow me to get a word in as they grab her hand and tug her out of the room. Over her shoulder, she asks. "Get my phone, please?"

With an exhale, I get her phone and follow them out.

Jhanvi suggests, "How about we get everyone?"

Arshiya comments, her eyes twinkling. "We can try, but pretty sure mom and dad are in their own world of romance."

Kriana still nudges Arshiya to go get them as she shows Jhanvi the way to the theater room. I let them go ahead as I stop Arshiya, "Hey, wait. Listen up."

"What's up, bro?" She questions in a cheerful voice in slight impatience and I know its because she wants to go get everyone.

I hate to bring down her mood but I have to.

"You're coming to the hospital with me tomorrow."

An instant frown spreads on her lips as she looks up, readily protesting in a whine. "Bhai, please. I'm fine. I don't need to go, okay? I'm going to get..."

She tries to make her exit but I reach for her elbow at once to stop her. "No, no. Not so fast." She exhales and stands in the spot reluctantly. "Aru, I know you're scared but it's necessary. You know that."

She questing in irritation, "Bhai, can't I just live my life without fear? I hate all these tests every year! They're a horrible reminder and I am done with them!" As tears threaten her eyelids, I take her in a gentle hug bringing her chest to my head. She sighs, wrapping her arms around me. "Don't make me go, please."

I try to strike a compromise, "How about this? Get these labs done and you can go on that cruise trip."

She pouts pulling back and wiping her tears, "That's not fair!"

I request using the back of my fingers to wipe away the remaining trail, "Please?"

She rolls her eyes with a scoff, folding her arms over her chest. After a moment to think, she points an index finger at me, "My terms, got it? Dad doesn't get to control anything about where I go, what I do or who I take with me."

I hug her again, just relieved that she's agreeing. "As long as you don't do anything reckless."

She boosts playfully, "Reckless is my middle name."

"And no boys."

She rolls her eyes, "Bhai, please. I have got some class in me, all right?"

Her point? She does not indulge her precious time in boys even when at the rebellious age of 17. But, deep down, I know this... she simply won't take an interest in boys to avoid herself some heartache with that fear of her health. She says that she has no idea how little time she has left and she refused to spend it in silly crushes. But, I only have hope that one day, she will live a long and healthy life for her to find love and experience it.

Shaking my head, pushing down my worries of what the labs might show, I put a smile on my face and nod at her to leave, "Go get everyone."

She takes off and I exhale a sigh of worry. Each year, I hate this. Each year, having to pray that we'll have one more year with her.

I don't know how she does it.

Keeping a smile on her face and going through each day as everything is okay. Every day, I admire her courage to face life head on but I also know she is no different than any other teenager. Underneath it all, she is scared like all of us.

As I keep saying, Arshiya is a blessing to us but it seems God wants to keep testing that. First, she was born premature and we'd spent the whole time since start of pregnancy worrying if she'll survive. By some miracle, she did but that did not last long.

As a child, she was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

Even though after starting treatment and going into remission, she cannot be considered cured yet. Each year, she has to get tests done to confirm she is still in remission. Doctors say she can be considered cured if she'll remain in remission for ten years.

Two more years of this nonsense.

Now do you understand why I am a worrier? There is constantly something amiss. Even when I try to not worry about my family, I cannot help it when it is things such as life and death - neither of which I can control... and if it isn't already clear: things I cannot control are things I despise the most.

Who wouldn't?

After all, no one basks in this feeling of vulnerability and helplessness.

I enter the theatre room to hear Kriana asking, "What genre?"

Jhanvi answers, "How about something scary?"

Kriana grins from ear to her, "My favorite."

She sits against the arm of the back couch all the way to the right. "Tired?" I ask reaching her and lifting her legs just a bit to sit beside her before placing them over to rest on my other side. "Why did you suggest watching movies then?"

She shakes her head, "Not that tired."

Kripa comes to sit next to me with Angad right by her tail. "Is the plan to not sleep tonight at all?"

Jhanvi grins sitting up properly and turning so her feet are fixed on the floor, "Sorry maasi, it was my idea."

I look at her in surprise when she refers to Kripa as that, accepting the relationships instead of calling her Aunty and being polite.

Kripa answers, "Then all is forgiven."

I grumble just for a dramatic antic, "It's not fair. I'm supposed to be everyone's favorite."

Jhanvi laughs and leans over to kiss my cheek, "Aww, sorry Raizada but I am here now to hijack your position."

Kripa winks as she adds, "Besides, we're making your girl our new favorite. One and the same, isn't it?"

I drape an arm around her to rest my hand on her side, "I guess I can live with that." I pull her so she is leaning back into my chest, "Say, Shona, how about we share the position?"

She pretends to think before smacking her lips and tilting her head up. "Nah, I don't share. I want it for myself."

Given that Anjali just walks in with Lavanya, Sam and Aman, I complain. "Mumma, Jhanvi refuses to share. You need to teach her some of those manners you taught me."

Jhanvi fights back a grin at my banter as if knowing I am not serious. "Uh-uh." She scolds, "This is between you and I, ASR Jr. Don't bring your moms into this."

My retort is a biting motion at her index finger pointing at me. She pulls it back at the nick of time and slaps my chest, calling my name in a scolding.

For some reason, I don't overthink before giving her a sly smirk and she rolls her eyes in response, taking notice of our position and moving away to settle back in her previous space. I pull her to my side again and before she can tell me to leave her, I kiss her cheek bone then whisper in her ear. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For accepting my family." I clarify.

In less than a day, she's turning into the younger Jhanvi I knew and opening up her heart for everyone. It's one less thing to worry about - it's not saying much given everything else that is going on but it still feels like an accomplishment.

Something positive amidst all the negatives.

She drops her fake anger and blinks back with a smile, "I'd be a fool not to." She moves to touch my hand when I wince at the unexpected touch. In instant concern, she turns my hand around to see some bruising around the knuckles. "What happened?!"

"Nothing, nothing." I go to quickly assure her.

She argues with a pointed look, "Aarav, that is not nothing."

I place my other hand gently on top of hers. She stops inspecting the bruises and glances up at me, "I just didn't have my boxing gloves on. I'm fine."

Unfortunately, she doesn't calm down at that. Her eyes widen, "You got into a fight? With who?!"

I couldn't help but chuckle at her misrepresentation of my words, "There's this guy. Vikas. A real pain in the ass."

Her forehead crinkles in confusion at my humor, "Who?"

Oh. She doesn't know Vikas. They've met at the airport but no official introductions were done. How silly of me. "My bodyguard. So, relax. I didn't get into a fight with him or anything. We were just blowing off some steam."

She slides her hand away from between mine, pulling away as she questions with a hard expression. "You left your mother's birthday celebrations to blow off steam? And no one even noticed. How is that possible?"

I cheekily respond, "I've got ninja skills, baby."

She rolls her eyes, "As if."

On the sideline, Sam questions, "Where's the birthday girl?"

Arshiya answers, "Well... I did go call them. They were a bit... you know, preoccupied. With each other."

We all chuckle in tow because dad and Khushi, yeah. Kinda hard to separate the two. And, as if on cue, they walk in with Annie at their heel. I say in surprise, "You stayed." I had expected her to have left when I returned.

Khushi offers, "Yeah, can you believe it? We had to blackmail her countless times before she finally agreed."

Lavanya points out, "Hah, the first time she listens to you instead of Aarav. I must note this date down."

Annie rolls her eyes and goes to sit next to her, "La, please. I don't always listen to Junior."

Lavanya laughs, knowing the reality but not saying it. I think we all know... Annie never could say no to me. But lately... it's a different matter that she keeps surprising me by saying it.

Arshiya announces after Sanya comes in and takes the only empty spot next to Rihaan, "I'm playing it!" and uses the remote to press the button and increase the volume.

Kriana adds, "No one better scream."

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

The next day, Jhanvi surprises me by walking into my cabin dressed in a peach dress and matching heels. Her purse hanging by the shoulder which she drops to the chair next to her and sitting in the chair with a huff and waving her hand over her neck to fan herself. "Phew. Why the hell is it so hot outside? It's ridiculous. It's September!"

I remind her trying to hide my smile at her cute frustration, "Shona, this is India. Not Australia."

She huffs, "You'd think there wouldn't be much of a difference given that's a desert place in a way."

"And India is at the equator."

She leans sideways to free her feet of the pointed toe heels and mumbles with a frown. "Fine, you win."

"What are you doing here?" I question closing the file I was reading to give her my attention.

She gives me a squinted glare while straightening up and sitting properly in the chair, "You, mister, didn't wake me up in the morning! I am never forgetting to put on an alarm again."

I try to defend myself, "Shona, you and the baby need proper rest, you know? You're probably fighting jet lag and were tired from the party so I thought..."

"Well, you thought right."

I find myself stumped at her response. "Wait, what?" I was sure I would get more grief from her than what I was receiving at the moment.

"I'm not going to repeat it," she lets it be known and I understand I won't be having the satisfaction of being right. She won't let me have that victory. Oh well... as long as she is rested up. I don't need to soothe my ego anyway.

"Why didn't you just stay home then?"

"Oh, you know how I get bored pretty easily when I have nothing to do?"

I interject, "I actually did not know that." I have always seen her hands full since I have met her so I cannot be held responsible for not knowing this.

She continues, "Well, I do. And so, I got thinking and I realized. There are a lot more things I could be doing."

My eyes widen in concern and instantly, I try to shut down that idea. "Shona, no. You've got way too much going on already. Whatever it is you are thinking, you cannot possibly think it's a good idea to add more to your plate? I mean between the baby and working at the office and Dinesh, you've got your hands full."

She holds up her hand in surrender, "I completely agree."

Again, color me confused. "I don't follow," I let it be known.

"I do have a lot going on - which is why I have decided to work part-time from now on."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I mean I know it'll put off my training schedule and I may not be ready in time by my birthday to take over the business and estate stuff but ya know, priorities. What can you do, right?"

Certainly happy with her decision, I get up from the chair to walk around and lean back on the table while standing beside her, facing her direction. "That is a great decision."

She grins back at my approval, "I know. I thought so too. Besides, we did come to India to get help with the baby so that is where my focus should be."

It looks like she really has thought about it so I question, "What will you do in the free time then?"

"Well, first, I am going to be joining this yoga class. Khushi said it'd be great for the baby and help me relax and all too, you know?"

I nod along, obviously aware that yoga can be a very mindful treat and it benefits. Mind, body, spirit and all that. "That's good. When did you want to join? I can change my schedule around and..." I pause when she looks at me in amusement. "What?"

Still grinning, she stands up. "Relax, Raizada. You're not going to be joining the class with me."

"Why not?"

"Because, you can't do everything with me. Jeez, give me a break, will you? I'm getting tired of seeing you so much." She comments in a teasing manner.

If not for that, I would have taken offense. No, who am I kidding? I am persistent when I want to be. I'd have shamelessly continued to bother her still without it hurting my pride or arrogance. So, I tease back. "Baby, you can't get enough of this pretty face."

She scoffs with a piece of advice, "Apparently people forgot to teach you a lesson in modesty." I roll my eyes in response. She adds, "And no, we'll be sticking to calling me Shona. Other names just don't settle well."

The teasing expression replaces with a genuine one. One of these days, I am going to be telling her why I call her Shona. It feels good that she prefers that and even I connect this... I don't think I have called her any other endearing names other than Shona except this time.

I continue the main topic at hand, "You can't go to the class alone though."

"Oh, I won't. See, I've got..." she trails off momentarily while counting in her head, "five? Yeah, five people ready to go with me. Khushi even put us all in a group chat so we can come up with a schedule and all."

I raise my brow - unsure if it is in amusement or admiration. "Wow, seriously?"

"Yup. She's amazing, you know? You were right. Coming back here was definitely a good idea. Having all this help? I can't tell you how good it feels. How relieved." She answers and there is that content on her face which works as icing to her words.

Undoubtedly, she is speaking the truth. I reach for her hands speaking in a light heart myself. "Good. I'm glad you think it was the right thing to do."

"Definitely." She answers back in a smile. Then she seems to remember something and panic for a second, "Shoot. I hadn't actually come here to tell you about working part time. I actually brought lunch for all of you."

"Really? Where is it?" I ask in excitement because home-made food? I am sold any given day! I look at the other thing she'd brought in with her: her purse. And it doesn't seem to be the right instrument to carry a tiffin.

She bites the inside of her cheek in slight embarrassment, "I... left it in the car?" When I look at her amused, she exclaims in defense. "It's hot out, okay?"

I chuckle, "Though the cars AC's are fully functional, sure. We'll go with that story."

She rolls her eyes, sitting again. "Whatever. I won't be going back out to get it."

"It's okay. I'll send Pia to go get it. How about we go to the conference room? Di and Annie are there so we can all eat together."

She nods at the suggestion and starts slipping her feet back into her footwear.

While holding her hand for balance, I suggest, "And, maybe you can lay off the heels?" She glances sideways at me that tells me I committed a grave crime and I instantly retreat. "Or not. Totally your choice."

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

Printouts of some of the pictures are spread out on the table. Anjali picks one out, "How about this one?"

Annie shakes her head, "Mm, no. I know there's a much better one for that dress." She sits on the chair with her camera in her hands to look through them. I shake my head at how immersed she gets when she is working that she forgets its time for lunch.

I never do that since I have to eat on time for my diabetes.

I nag her, "Annie, stop working for half hour and have lunch."

She absentmindedly responds still going through the gallery on the camera, "Hmm, later."

I bring a spoonful of pasta to her lips. She leans her head back at the sudden intrusion and then glares at me for trying to spoon feed her. I raise a brow in challenge to try and say no to me. I may let her do her own for everything else but when it comes to eating properly and on time, I could be anal about it.

Breathing out, she accepts the morsel. "Thanks."

Shaking my head, I resume eating myself, at times forwarded a spoon in her direction so atleast there'll be something in her stomach till the time she'll stop working and eat properly.

I glance to my side on feeling an eye on me. Jhanvi. She smiles when I catch her and asks silently, "She always like this?"

"When she's in her work zone, yeah. We've had to drag her away from it loads of times."

Annie interjects, "I can hear you, you know."

I nag, "Good, then maybe you can work on changing that."

She scowls, "There is nothing wrong with being passionate about my work."

Jhanvi interrupts before I will nag her again, "Okay, yes, you're right. But hey, atleast join us for lunch? You can work faster when you have that energy in you."

Annie sighs and lets Jhanvi's words convince her, "I guess a break won't hurt."

I squint at her in slight envy, "Oh, now you choose to listen to everyone else but me?"

She laughs, "Uh, duh. Didn't you get the memo? Jhanvi is my new best friend."

I let the comment slide only because she picks up a plate and loads food in it. And well... it should be a good thing that she's turning normal with this, becoming friends with Jhanvi.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note  ∞

Hi guys! So sorry for the slightly later updates this week. I haven't been able to find the time/motivation to write. I've been feeling blue for no reason these days? :/ 

This chapter may almost feel like a filler since I doubt it answers many of your questions regarding Aarav's feelings, but I felt it was a necessary one to bridge the gap. 

Jhanvi & Aarav highly need to talk and I promise, it is coming up (obviously since there are only 3 more chapters of this book).