♔ Aarav ♔

          It was only last night that Jhanvi and I had the conversation where I told her about us, about Dinesh, about another reason to return to Mumbai.

More than I could have imagined, she was handling the news better. She was okay with returning to Mumbai. She hadn't commented afterwards about our marriage in the will or even anything about us. As much as I did want to know where it left us, I didn't push her.

Maybe she needs some time to accept it.

It makes sense too, right?

She has to take a moment to wrap her head around it. I had my whole life knowing this. She was certainly entitled to take a few days to let everything sink in.

What doesn't make sense is why I still feel conflicted. I thought after telling her, the burden would be off my chest. I would feel free knowing I wasn't hiding anything from her.

But that weight doesn't leave my heart. It's as if something has a strong hold around my heart and it's being squeezed tightly, making it difficult for me to breathe.

Could it just be that I am worried of the danger that'll come Jhanvi's way once we are in Mumbai the day after?

I don't know what the underlying reason is, but I have no time to stop and breathe and psychoanalyze myself.

I have to keep going.

I cannot rest yet and focus on myself. There are many things yet that require my attention. Worries to put to rest before this storm raging inside of me can be quietened.

The last day of the shoot, I reach the location with Jhanvi and Eva early in the morning.

According to Annie, early in the morning will give the best natural light. Ofcourse, she knows more about photography and working the camera so none of us question it.

We simply show up.

Getting there, Eva voices aloud at everyone chilling about and only reason they could be sitting and not running around on a wild goose chase is because Annie isn't here yet. "Where is she?"

I comment her tendencies, "The girl can't wake up early in the morning and she still insisted on this."

Eva defends her, "Hey, hey. Give her some credit. She does wake up when she has work to get done."

I check my wrist watch to check the time. There is still five minutes before eight am. Perhaps she'll be here in that time.

Jhanvi complains looking very tired, "I need food. Milkshake. Yes. Someone get me milkshake?"

Eva and I look at her slightly amused at the sparkle that overcomes her face as if she can imagine the milkshake right in front of her.

She squints her eyes at us for the small teasing and exclaims, "Milkshake!"

Eva clears her throat to rid the amusement and informs, "I think I saw a McDonalds up the road. Can't be more than a block away. I'll get it."

She turns to walk back to the car.

A cab pulls up the side of the road across the street. Annie steps out looking rushed. Hair pulled back loosely in a clip. Her face bearing last night's make-up: a faint eye shadow with a slightly smudged eye-liner. Even her top is wrinkled.

Eva laughs crossing her arms across her chest. "Look who made it on time. Anything else to say, Aarav?"

I can't blink away from Annie... knowing this all too well. She didn't just look a hot mess right now. I have a faint idea of what she must have been up to last night.

Annie looks up after paying fare to the cab driver and spotting us, waves her hand before starting to cross the street.

I am too lost in my thoughts and the empty feeling inside of me that everything happens too fast.

The sound of a car screeching causes me to blink up just in time to see it swerve.

Annie.

I cannot see her due to the car stopping in the way but I rush to cross the street with Eva and Jhanvi at my heel.

In a blink of a second, my heart is pounding in its cage vehemently. Blood pulses everywhere feeling an emotion I have not truly faced before.

Fear.

No, no. No. Please be okay.

I walk around the car needing to see that nothing has happened to her. If it had...

Annie is trying to sit up, brushing her clothes before her gaze stops at her elbow. Scraped and bleeding just a little.

Within a second, all air returns to my lungs and I inhale sharply. My hands continue to tremble however and my legs shaking as well.

This panic unlike ever before that something could have happened to her life.

Before she can look up, I mutter. "God damn it, Annie," and I drop to my knees in front of her. I was in no position to stand on my feet with the way I felt weak right now. My arms wrap around her neck and pull her head to my chest.

I hate her for giving me this scare.

I can hear my heart going off in its own world refusing to calm down even after seeing her okay.

She answers, surprised with the sudden hug. "Oh. Aarav." Her hand comes to the back of my shoulder before trying to tug back and free herself from being buried to my chest. "I'm okay."

Yeah, right.

I tighten my grip around her, refusing to let her go just yet. "Shut up," I speak closing my eyes tightly.

Keeping her glued to me is a small reassurance that she is fine.

If she is fine, I am fine.

Inhaling in her faint scent of perfume lingering over her clothes opens up my own airways to further convince myself.

As if catching on how rattled I am, her palm rubs my back. Her soft voice whispers, "I'm okay, Aarav. But I won't be if you don't let me go... I need to breathe."

I mumble as her words register in my brain and my hold around her loosens, "Sorry."

As she leans back, one of my hands reach her neck and the other tugs her hair back to look at her. I whisper trying to keep my rattled fear at bay to not let my voice crack and fight my eyes trying to well up, "Do you have any idea...?"

She scared the living daylights out of me... as if my world was about to combust and there was going to be nothing left. Nothing to keep me going.

Her fingers circle my wrist in a teasing smile as if to lighten the moment, "You care too much, darling. I told you, it's going to suffocate me one day."

She means it literally right now for I had buried her in my chest and she wasn't able to breathe through my tight hold.

Even though I had felt hurt and mad that day when I had snapped at her to never use that word again, I rest my forehead against hers. Closing my eyes, I continue breathing harshly for right now it doesn't matter.

She said it. I care too much for her. But she is also wrong about one thing. It doesn't suffocate her. It suffocates me.

I should not... yet, I do and it needs to stop... but I cannot.

I try and I fail.

I try again but it's a futile attempt.

A voice interrupts us, "Look before you cross the street, lady!"

My features harden as a rush of anger pulses through my veins. I pull back from Annie to stand up and face the driver of that car. I glare daggers his way as I speak through gritted teeth, "I could ruin you right now."

This was a neighborhood. Instead of telling her to look before crossing the street, he should be controlling his driving speed!

"Aarav," she says my name, reaching for my hand. As her arm stretches, a whimper escapes her lips. I turn to face her at once, worrying she's gotten hurt. "Stop." She continues, asking me to not go off at the man. "It was my fault. I should have looked."

Given no one is looking at him, the driver slips away muttering words of how his morning is ruined. But, he is very much overworked and probably a bit drunk.

She is wrong. It's not her fault.

I let him go right now because my focus is on making sure Annie is okay. But once I make sure of that, he is going to regret this day for sure.

I forward my hand to Annie, helping her stand up. "Where are you hurt?" I ask changing my tone to that of concern rather than the anger I feel at the stranger.

"My hand," she answers glancing down at it. "Wrist. It's just a sprain, I'm sure."

She tries to brush it off but I still instruct, "Doctor. Now."

"Aarav..."

"Quiet." I order in a serious tone to stop her protests because I wasn't going to negotiate on the matter and let her convince me she'd be fine without treatment.

I take her uninjured hand to drag her towards my car. When I turn, I face Eva and Jhanvi.

Oh.

Eva asks, "You okay, sweetie?"

Annie nods, "Yeah, this boy is overreacting."

I roll my eyes at her insinuation. I am not. She has no idea what I went through in these few seconds.

Jhanvi says coming to stand by her side, "Is he? Scared me too. Just the thought of car accidents..." She shudders while trailing off.

Her car accident as a child.

"Jhanvi..." I say her name in concern, worrying it might have brought up disturbing memories.

She presses her lips in a small smile, shaking her head as if to shake away the memory symbolically, "Anyway, let's get your hand checked out. In case it's more than a sprain."

Annie continues to protest, "But the shoot..."

"Annie." I cut her off looking at her with a blank expression and an empty tone - one I use with her very, very, rarely because I do not really like to order her around.

She opens her mouth to argue with me but must have seen the determination in my eyes. The darkness lingering at the edge that is just a blink away from snapping and I am afraid what'll happen if it is let loose.

She huffs. "Fine." Then she looks around and asks, "Where is he?"

"Who?"

She answers in confusion as if she can't be sure, "That guy. Someone had pulled me back."

I look at her in concern... if she hit her head or something. When I had reached here, there had been no one there. "Maybe you need to be checked for a concussion."

"I'm fine, geez." She exclaims, "I'm telling you. There was this guy."

Yup. Concussion, definitely.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Luckily, it was just a sprain. Also, luckily, no concussion. Ofcourse, I get the whole I told you nagging from Annie but I still preferred the doctor telling me she will be fine in a few days. Plus, it doesn't make sense either because if there is no concussion, then there was a guy but who? There wasn't anyone whom I had seen. My attention was zoomed in on Annie only, yes, but I am still there I'd have spotted a guy if there had been one.

It makes no sense but I forget about it as I spend the rest of the day calling authorities to file a case against the driver. I knew he'd get away with a fine and a warning but it was still something for myself that he'll think twice in future before repeating this mistake.

He had to learn a lesson to not drink and drive.

It was her lucky fate else the possibility of something that could have happened... not just to her but anyone!

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          The next day, Eva, Annie, Jhanvi, and I are seated in my family's private jet as the pilot prepares for take-off. Jhanvi comments how she figured we would be flying like normal people.

I chuckle, "Shona, please. I do not fly commercial."

I glance at Annie, expecting her to comment how I am being posh again, but she only picks up a magazine, minding her own business. I look back at Jhanvi when she responds.

"You did when we flew from Mumbai."

I reach for the buckles, "I had to go out of my way then to get you to stop thinking I was some arrogant, stuck up, rich SOB."

She arches a brow in amusement. "And it's okay for me to think that now?"

I make it known, well-aware she doesn't see me as one after I shared the biggest truth of my life this week. "You couldn't think that even if you tried."

Eva interjects, "You two keep bickering. I am going to sleep. Don't wake me up even if there is food."

That's Eva. One girl who has her priorities straight. None of the girls I know can pick between food and sleep but she knows what she prefers more.

Once we're airborne, Annie turns on her phone to play music and plugs in headphones. Jhanvi reminds me I have yet to tell her about my siblings. I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Alright, let's get you to associate names with faces." I scroll through a picture that has all the couples together, "So that's my dad and Khushi, Anjali di and her husband, Aman. Lavanya mom and her husband Sam, Armaan and his wife, Riddhima – also Khushi's adopted brother. You might have heard of their music." She nods in response before I continue, "And my aunt Kripa and her husband, Angad."

She nods trying to keep up, "Okay, I think I got that."

I scroll through some more pictures before stopping at another group picture. I point at myself in the center, "That's me. Aarav."

She rolls her eyes at the unnecessary information.

I chuckle and continue, "Arshiya, dad and Khushi's daughter. 17 years old. Very naughty, full of mischievous brain. Very impatient – got that from Khushi because you're not going to meet another person more patient than my dad. But just as caring and loving. She looks tiny but she will beat up anyone who she feels has wronged our family. You can blame Rihaan and Armaan mamu for teaching her self-defense. Rihaan is his son by the way. He's like his dad in many ways. Talented. Mr. Popular. Can charm the pants off of anyone – unless it's Sanya, then he's still trying. But he's definitely got his mothers' sense of maturity and deep love for poetry."

She interjects, "Sanya?"

"Getting there," I answer as I point at her picture next, "That's Sanya, Lavanya mom and Sam's daughter. Very quiet – which none of us get because neither of her parents are like that. Actually, no one in our family is the quiet one except for her. She gets easily intimidated. Has social anxiety. Hates crowds which is ironic given how big our family is. Loves painting and music – can stay locked up in her studio all day if you just give her a canvas and some paints."

She smiles at the description, commenting, "You love your sisters, don't you?"

"Very much," I reply with a grin. "Sanya's the apple of our family. It's impossible to not love her, but just as hard to get her approval. She doesn't say much, you know, but when she does speak... beware. And Arshiya, let's just say no one can say no to her."

As I think of her, I try to hold back my grim expression. Her labs. I'm really praying right now that her health reports come out normal. I can't bring myself to tell Jhanvi about her illness.

That is a whole another chapter in our lives.

I blink up for a second out of the blue to find Annie looking at me. Given she was sitting just there, she must have heard us obviously. She blinks back at me and I know that look. It's to silently assure me. To not worry.

But I can't help it. Arshiya's health has never been the best. It has always been the topic of concern in the family.

It's why no one can say no to her for anything. We all want her to stay happy.

Jhanvi asks, oblivious to this silent communication between Annie and I. "And who's that?"

I glance down to the photo again and push myself to pay attention to the present, "Kriana, Kripa maasi's daughter. Another relationship I switch between since you could call her my maasi as she's technically my mom's cousin sister, but can also be bua if you look at her as Arnav dad's cousin sister."

She narrowed her brows in confusion.

I chuckle at the frown, "Yeah, told you. Long and complicated. But anyway, Kriana, you just have to meet her to understand. It's impossible to summarize her except that she can be a complete tomboy one second and she is beyond crazy for football, American soccer, but if you'll see her in a party, the way she'll be dressed up in dresses, she'll look girly-girl. In short, imagine two different personalities in one body. And one thing about everyone, we're fiercely dedicated to all things family."

She raises her brows and inhales deeply for that was a lot.

I gave her the simplest version of who was whose child and a brief summary of their personality but it was still a lot as she has to try to understand how we're related to one another.

We're a mix of half-siblings, siblings through adoption, or not related at all but still family friends related with our parents having been friends through school or college time.

Unless anyone's grown up in this family tree of ours, it's tough for others to grasp their mind around this. A reason why we keep our personal life private - away from prying eyes of the media and society.

"Okay, let's see if I remembered anything." She decides to try and repeat the names.

Occasionally I have to correct her. It was easiest to remember Rihaan as he was the only other guy from the kids. It was harder to differentiate between the females and my three sets of parents.

I smile at the end of the hour when she finally manages to put the right name to the face and take her hand in mind. "If in the past two months you thought I was too caring, I hope you're ready to meet my family. They take it ten levels up."

She exhales and simply nods as if she has no doubt I am speaking the absolute truth. There is a reason I turned out the way I did as a person if it weren't the truth. "I think I am going to try and sleep a little."

I nod and she pulls her hand out of mine to get comfortable in her seat and lay down in the luxurious interior of this plane, bringing the blanket up to her shoulders.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

∞ author note ∞

This is part ONE. Keep scrolling for part two (also updated today). I split it in two simply because it was roughly 6K words... I didn't realize when I was writing it with a goal in mind for the chapter that all the scenes would come out to be these many words...