♔ Aarav ♔

          Upon seeing the caller ID when my phone vibrates on the table, I put my pen on top of the stack of papers I was going through and answer the call. "Hi, Khushi."

"Ugh, he's so freaking annoying! Why did I marry him?" She jumps straight to ranting about dad instead of greeting first just for formality sake.

I chuckle at her expense and tease, "Because you love him."

She grumbles, "I'm seriously doubting that right now."

That smile stays as I continue to push her nerves, "It's 20 years too late to second-guess, don't you think?"

"Oh, shut up."

First, I laugh, and then I ask. "What did dad do now?"

"What else? He's being his usual ASR self."

"And what reason is it for this time?"

"He and Aru had a spat. Go figure. What else does he expect? For his daughter to sit by while he tries to control her life?"

Well. Arshiya is known to call him out on his overprotective parenting skills.

She pleads, "Do something, Aarav! Both are being silly and won't talk to each other. I'm not going to spend my birthday having my husband and daughter at odds with each other! It'll be a terrible celebration. Celebration? No. It won't be a celebration at all!"

I attempt to calm her down, "Mom, relax. You know he can't stay mad at her for too long and vice-versa. They'll make up. Aru knows dad has a reason to be a bit protective."

She sighs, knowing it to be true, but still worries. "Still. Talk to them? And please, get Aru to have her yearly labs done. She's refusing to. Again."

I understand this is what the whole spat must have started off with. "Yeah, I'll talk to her. Don't worry."

She exhales, starting to ease some of her tension away. "I don't get how I'm her mother but still you can handle her better than me."

"She loves me more, duh."

I can just imagine her rolling her eyes as she throws back sass, "As if. I'm the one who risked my life for her."

I can't even begin to compete with her there. So, I change the topic slightly. "She's just a 17-year scared teenager, Khushi."

She expresses with a sad voice, 'You know, as much as we try to, we can't seem to catch a break and keep our children's innocence safe from having to face life's reality too early. What does that say about our parenting?"

I lightly scold her for doubting herself, "Hey, that's not true and you know it! You are an amazing mother because more than that, you know how to be a friend. To me and Arshiya. Whatever life is throwing our way, none of it has to do with your bad parenting - as you call it, got it?"

She frowns a complaint, "I am supposed to lecture you, not the other way around."

A smile returns on my face as the topic turns light once again. "I'm sure you'll have your turn when I return."

"Yes, speaking of, when are you returning?"

I inform with a sigh, "You know that is not up to me. If it were, I'd be there already."

She matches my tone of helplessness, "I know. I wish it didn't have to be this way. Really, we have everything and yet, it is sad and unfortunate that our own children cannot be safe with us. Makes you question, you know? What have we really accomplished?"

"She is starting to warm up to me bit by bit..." I inform simply to not dwell on the thought of her question.

Sometimes, I do wonder the same. Sometime, it feels the same battle a second time - hoping for a different result... hoping to stop the cycle from continuing.

She advices, "Aarav, listen, I know you are worried but please, tell her. Trust me, she won't much like it if she finds out later. I've told you how I felt when Arnav hid things from me for the longest yeah?"

"Yeah," I whisper out recalling that story clearly.

"She needs to know. Not just because its her life and she deserves to know, but also if she is to ever trust us. If she finds out from someone else, they can manipulate anything and she might feel that she can never trust anyone again. Keep that from happening, please?"

"I know the right thing to do is tell, Khushi," I express my agreement as my fingers absentmindedly twirl about the pen on the surface of the table, "but I'm just waiting for the right time."

"There is no such thing as 'right' time, Aarav." She scolds. "That saying is very much bullshit and you should know better. Don't wait for her to fall for you and then make her feel betrayed by all you are hiding."

I hear dad asking in the background, "Sweet pea, who are you yelling at?"

"Your son, who do you think? Both of you, stubborn as hell." He says something I do not hear and then she sighs, speaking to me, "I have to go. Think about what I said, okay?"

"Yeah," I answer half-heartedly and bid her bye before ending the phone call.

She wouldn't be wrong in saying all this. I get it. But aren't my concerns legit as well? Add to the fact that I am very much scared of her reaction.

It feels like I am looking at this through a kaleidoscope. Both sides, neither wrong nor right and there is no clear way of knowing where the pattern breaks. All I know is that at every turn, something constantly changes and I am left with new troubles to come to terms with.

How am I meant to then make sense of any of it?

And, I can't anymore risk the approach of going with the flow, taking things as they come.

I need to make a decision.

Tell her and risk losing her. Or to not tell her and still risk losing her.

The one possibility of not telling her and not losing her seems wrong and the other of telling her with the possibility of her understanding everything seems far too hopeful.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          That evening, I return back to the apartment early to get ready for dinner. I find Jhanvi sitting at the chair in front of the dressing mirror looking through her stash of earrings. As if unable to make a decision, she turns to me holding different ones in front of either ears. "Pick, which one matches the dress."

"Going somewhere?" I ask leaving my laptop bag on the small couch in the room.

"Yes, we are going out." She answers before insisting with her eyes that she wants her answer now.

I nod towards the one on her left, "Black," before questioning her answer, "We are?"

"Mhmm, at your friend's dinner. Annie already invited me and I tried saying no but... well, you know better how your best friend can be."

I question, surprised at the fact. "She invited you?"

"Didn't I just say that?" she mutters, struggling to get the matching necklace to lock around her neck.

I walk over to stand behind her and tap her fingers to get her attention. She looks up at me through the mirror before understanding what I was asking for and moves her hands after I hold the ends of the chain in my fingers. I squat down to be able to see better, still thinking about what Jhanvi tells me about Annie inviting her.

I get her always but this once, I am unable to figure her out. On one side, she is keeping her distance from me and on the other, she's being friends with Jhanvi. I assume she may be doing this for me so I'll be at ease knowing two girls that mean the most to me are getting along, but then if she can be friends with her, why push me away?

Her actions are not matching her words right now and that is very rare coming from her.

It is much unlike her and that causes me great concern for her emotional wellbeing.

"Aarav?"

I blink up to the mirror on hearing my name being called. They lock with Jhanvi's soft gaze and she gently smiles at me, informing. "It's done. You can stop messing with my chain."

"Oh." I let out, averting my gaze to the back of her neck where sure enough, I have already hooked the chain for her. My hands drop to my side and I stand up. "I'll go freshen up then."

Before I would leave, her fingers envelop around my wrist, stopping me. While I twist back to see why, she stands up. She searches my eyes in concern before asking, "Is everything okay?"

I don't understand her question and my brows knit together. "Yeah, why?"

Her fingers slowly leave my wrist and her hand drops beside her. "You look lost in thought. That's usually me."

I smile at her concern and cup her cheek with my right hand to assure her. "Nothing to worry about, Shona." She looks like she wants to question it but I really do not want her to have to worry about me. I should be the one taking care of her. "I'll just shower quickly and then we can go, okay? I'm sure you're hungry."

She seems to see something that has her drop her questions, "Yeah, okay."

I lean in to kiss her forehead with a heavy heart and turn from her to walk to the closet to grab my clothes and then to the washroom.

Why the heavy heart, you ask?

Because Khushi's words come back to me. I am starting to see the love and concern in her eyes all the while when I am hiding things from her. It's not a good feeling what so ever. I am finally seeing what I have yearned to see in her eyes and yet, I cannot revel in it because it eats away at me.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          During the car ride, Jhanvi asks. "So, how do you know Jennifer?"

"She's my dad's friend, actually." I answer. "She used to stay at the same shelter as Annie."

"One day you're going to have to tell me everything your family is involved in," She comments on observing how this shelter keeps coming up.

"One day," I agree, thinking it might be sooner than she thinks.

"So, uh, Eva told me today. How she was in the army."

My head snaps in her direction for a second, my eyes leaving the road in surprise. "She did?" My gaze returns to the road.

"Mhmm. And about her miscarriage."

"Oh." I can only answer with that one word for that is something we don't often discuss for good reasons.

She questions, turning slightly in the seat to face me, "Why do you keep being surprised with everything I tell you today?"

"I don't know, it's been a weird day." I answer while turning at a street to enter a neighborhood and seconds later, pulling up in front of a house. "Here we are." As we get out of the car and I walk around to her side, I inform. "Fair warning, it might get loud and crazy. Those three really know how to chat up."

She chuckles, hooking her arm with mine. "Don't worry. I can handle it. Crazy doesn't scare me away anymore given how wild things have been lately."

"We'll see if you'll say the same thing by the end of the night."

She hooks her arm with mine, again taking me by surprise. "Aarav Singh Raizada, all the crazy that comes with you is the new normal for me, get it?"

I turn a bit to stand in front of her instead of next to her, gazing into her brown eyes with the faint street light shining from above us highlighting her cheekbones. I lift my hand to her face while smiling down at her, "You constantly surprise me."

She mocks, "Yes, never a dull moment with me." I laugh in response and the teasing expression softens into something serious. She inhales softly yet deeply before conveying, "Aarav, I told you what Eva told me so you'd know... you don't have to worry about me. Whatever you need to say, I can take it. Okay?"

Still glancing in her eyes, I see her certainty. I understand what she says and does not say. She does not want me to worry the stress could affect her negatively. It compels me to nod in response, somewhere eliminating one of my reasons for not having told her already.

She seems to understand something after searching my eyes when I don't say anything and suggests, "Now how about we go in? Baby Raichand is starving."

I do speak up then, coming out of my trance of her enchanting eyes. "Baby Raizada."

She shakes her head in slight amusement, starting to walk ahead towards the steps reaching up to the main door. "You are so sure I'll marry you."

"Oh, you will." I say skipping up the steps in one long stride and walking ahead to knock on the door.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Annie clears her throat coming out of the kitchen where the girls had been helping Jennifer finish off last minute cooking when I am sitting in the living room watching sports channel. I look up to find her standing with attitude, her hands resting on her hips. I raise a brow to question why she is mad.

She rolls her eyes, irritated at finding my clueless. "Dishes. Now."

"Could've said that without ordering," I berate standing up, leaving the TV on and make my way to the kitchen. Eva is chopping onions for salad and Jhanvi tastes something for Jennifer, nodding to convey it was cooked properly. Jennifer turns off the stove and I ask her, "Jen, where are the dishes?"

She points to a lower cabinet on the other side of the kitchen, "There. Finally making yourself useful, huh?"

"Well, why overcrowd the kitchen when there's four people in here already?" I explain my perspective before gathering five of plates and silverware to set the table.

Annie was waiting by the dining table, tapping her feet in impatience. I knew she was going to blast soon and chances were, it was going to be at me.

"What?" I asked the reason behind her sudden change in mood.

Again, she rolls her eyes before they dart past my shoulder towards everyone else walking out. She informs them, not even bothering with politeness as she speaks bluntly, "Excuse us. I need to knock some sense into this clueless person."

I gape as she takes the last plate from my hand, leaves it on with table with a light thud and grabs my wrist. "Excuse me?" The girls chuckle and I squint a plea, "Save me?"

I look at Jhanvi and even she seems to be silently amused as Annie drags me away from there and out to the balcony. I did not expect her to betray me like this! I may need to have a word with her later on if I escape this with Annie unscathed.

She leaves my hand, crossing her arms over her chest before demanding, "What is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry?"

She hits my shoulder and I hiss in reaction, rubbing it to soothe the sting. "What the hell, Annie? It's too early for you to be violent, especially when you haven't even had a single drink."

She hits me again and again with both hands. I lift my hand to defend myself against her harmless swats before grabbing her wrists when I have had enough of this assault.

I ask, exasperated. "What, is the matter with you?!"

She blows air at her face, flowing her hair off her forehead before tugging her hands out of my hold. In two words, she explains everything. "Khushi called."

Ah. Now I connect everything. I scoff running my fingers through my hair, "Unbelievable. She calls me to talk to dad and Aru and then call you to talk to me?"

She challenges, "Can you blame her when you're being stupid?"

"Annie..."

She shakes her head, cutting me off. "No, Aarav. There is a woman just within your reach that you so clearly love and you cannot even tell her what you've kept in your heart all these years? You can tell everyone what you feel for her but not the one person who needs to hear it?"

I exclaim, my face hard as I am slightly irritated with everyone pushing me to do this, "I will tell her. You all need to stop rushing me!"

"Why?" She questions. "What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know..." I express in reluctant confusion. "Before doing anything important, I talk it out with you first and..."

She scoffs jumping ahead in understanding my words I am struggling to express. "Are you fucking serious? Aarav, why are you looking for my permission? I shouldn't have to tell you that it is okay to open up your heart to her. How many times have you thought of how things would be between you two? How you would tell her everything about yourself? That girl is no longer just in your thoughts now, Aarav."

She holds my chin turning my face to look inside the room where Jhanvi takes a seat at the table, self-serving her plate while saying something to Jennifer with that sweet smile on her face.

"Look at her," she says. "How long have you waited for her to be here, hmm? She is here in front of you. Go to her. Live your life the way you've been waiting for all these years. You don't need to be afraid of it."

I look at Jhanvi a second longer and the life that is waiting for me. As her fingers leave my chin I avert my gaze to Annie again. Jhanvi brushed off my concern earlier and now, Annie was telling me this. The only thing that had been holding me back was...

I turn back to Annie, speaking softly. "I need you too, Annie." Her lips part, brows draw together in confusion but before she could interrupt, I shake my head, "No. Listen, okay?" She remains silent and I continue, "You were an important part of my life then, are now, and I need you to always be. How can you think I'll go on with my life when you're not there?"

"I am here." She says in a tone as if to ask 'what-are-you-talking-about?'

I argue, "No. You're pulling away thinking you don't want to be a complication in my life. But, Annie, you should know you could never be a complication. If anything, a life without you? That, is complicated. I don't know how that works, okay?"

She remains silent, as if speechless. I exhale because even though I have always been able to tell her my feelings for everyone else, the good and the bad, I never could express exactly what importance she holds in my life.

My hands itch to hold hers but I hold myself back as I resume after a pause, "Angel, you don't have to distance yourself from me just so I can start living my life because all these years, I haven't been living a fake life, you know? You don't start a new relationship by ending an old one, remember? That's not how it works. I may have promised Jhanvi something, but I also made a promise to you that you'd always have me."

She swallows and finally breaks her silence in a low whisper as if everything I just told her is something she never anticipated. "I know, and you won't break that, I know that. It won't change."

"But it is," I counter the reality in front of me versus the made-up one in her head.

Her features soften with a gentle smile on her face, "Maybe some things have to change, but believe me - I'll come to you when I need you the way I always have and whenever you need me, I'll always be a phone call away. On each of my birthday, like you have been, I will still expect you to use that fancy jet of yours that somehow, I have grown to like, and come find me in whatever country I am in and I won't miss yours either. But I also can't be everything, Aarav. Find a way to make Jhanvi your priority now because she is my friend and I will have your head if you hurt her. Do you hear me?"

Despite the heavy conversation, I let out a laugh at her violent words. I would be wise to not ignore her warnings because despite our connection, her loyalty runs deep when it comes to friendships. She may not be ideal when it came to her relationship choices, but friendship? That was one role she had down to the T.

As always, when I can't verbally express it, I do so with my actions by reaching forward and hugging her in a tight body hug as if to mentally pull her in my heart again, remember once more the solace I feel in that one hug because for the longest, she has been keeping me at an arm's length.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note  ∞  

I mentioned climax of the story in last AN. As I continue planning it, I'm going for a total of 35 chapters - just so you know.

PS: I missed Khushi. *sigh*. This isn't enough but I had to include something. Dare readers, you should really go check out chapter 14 on the new book version that I posted just today!! 

Also, Jennifer! From the girl who first in save didn't like cooking/being in kitchens to the person now. I thought of giving her some role in here but then I figured Aarav's got enough female advisors so I let it be and stuck with just a brief mention. Thoughts?

QOTC: 1.)Who loves Annie? Giving him a piece of reality/clarity of what he wants and should be doing despite her own feelings. I hope you can somewhere see her strength and love because her actions, I can relate to on a personal level :/

 2.) Who's worried about Aarav? He's learned it's tough but he is still trying to keep them both in his life. 3.) Do you think it's wrong of him to want both? So you know one of the reasons Aarav won't tell Jhanvi is because he's afraid of losing her and second is that he doesn't want to stress her out. 4.) Can anyone figure out a third reason with this chapter? 

It's been a while since we heard from Jhanvi, yes? Next chapter is her POV and probably most awaited too. It's time for her to know atleast something about Aarav's life :D

PS: I'm stopping dedications for the time being but keep voting & commenting and I'll keep adding those names to a list for when I resume :)