- Eva -

          I walk out of my room to find Aarush sleeping on the couch. For a second, I hold my breath before letting it out, shaking my head.

He's one sneaky person. I never hear him coming in. He had his own place and I wouldn't understand why he is sleeping here instead in a very uncomfortable couch.

Making as little noise as possible to not disturb his sleep - knowing already that he must not have been getting good sleep, especially tonight - I enter the kitchen to make myself a cup a coffee. As expected, he moves to his side a few minutes later. I look over to find his closed eyes squeezed, his brows pulled together.

His disturbing dreams are one too familiar to me from back in the days when we trained together. Knowing why today was a tough day for him, instead of yelling his last name to snap him out of his sleep, I turn off the stove and walk over to the couch. Sitting on the glass table in front of the couch, I shake him gently.

His eyes snap open with a sharp intake of breath. I move my hand back and he turns his head in my direction before sitting up and running his hands over his tired face. "You okay?" I ask with concern and he nods but I know it's a lie.

"Yeah, sorry for coming in like this."

I smile at him, brushing it off. "It's fine, Aarush. I'm used to it - though, let's not have Jigar find out."

He blinks up at me at my light comment and chuckles back, shaking his head. It was a joke, ofcourse. Jigar was his friend too. He wasn't going to be jealous of Aarush or misunderstand anything just because he stayed the night.

Standing up, I ruffle the top of his head before instructing, "Now, go shower. I'm making breakfast and you better eat it without a single protest."

"Yes, Commander." He answers pulling my leg and I throw him a dirty look before he gets up and disappears towards the washroom.

Minutes later, I end the phone call I receive from Aarav and turn to the breakfast table where Aarush is currently sitting looking at his plate in utter boredom. I know why he makes that face. Oatmeal is his least favorite but I was in the mood to eat something plain so ofcourse I had to make it.

A side reason would also be that I enjoyed irritating him from time to time. I don't understand how he can dislike it when during army training, we had spent months eating food without any spices or taste in them. But then again, knowing who he is, it also makes sense why bland foods are not to his likings.

I inform while approaching the table, "Looks like you're up today."

He glances up, sparkle in his eyes. "About damn time!"

I should not be chuckling but I do find amusement. I tease him, "You know, you should not be happy that your detail might be in danger."

He defends his excitement as I am sure deep down, he has been waiting for some action. Sitting by in the sidelines is not in his nature. "What? I took this assignment taking it to be a challenge. But, all I've been doing so far is camping out because you and that cousin of yours have everything covered! Honestly, why hire me if you weren't going to give me anything to do? You know, I could be in some wilderness right now doing something quite important."

I roll my eyes for this is just his attitude talking, "Rawal, admit it. There is nothing you consider more important than finding Dinesh Bhatia and making him pay for everything he's done."

"Not true," he disagrees that it is not his life's most important mission after all.

Lies.

I challenge, crossing my arms over my chest, "Really, now? Is that why you have been camping out for the last month when the quiet life very well goes against your nature?"

He deflects, "Whatever. Why don't you guys just tell her what's going on? It'll make everyone's life so much easier."

I challenge, "So, what? She can live in fear?"

"I'm just saying. Better to prepare her for it so she can be careful."

"That's what we're here for. We're not going to stress her out more than she needs to be when she's pregnant."

He seems to understand when I bring that up and drops his defense. Pressing his lips together briefly, he nods. "Fine. Let me know which location I need to scour out before you get there with her."

Then, he stands up and walks off to use the restroom. I watch him leave, shaking my head in disappointment.

These are the kind of people I have around me. All of them running from reality and feelings. I thought they knew better, but hell, they are idiots.

Right now, I'd say my life is the most sorted of all and that's saying something.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          An hour later, with Jhanvi, I reach the shoot location. Today, it is by a lake house some distance away from the city. The environment is such quiet and serene. And the view? Beautiful. I could just live here my whole life if the people involved in my life whom I cared for were not dealing with things and I did not need the feel to be there for them.

This place reminds me of that summer house in Australia that Arnav owns... the one where Jigar and I got engaged and then had spent a few quiet, romantic days there once the rest of the family had left.

Oh, those lazy days.

I want them back and most all, I can't wait for Jigar to get a break from his army duties so we could spend a few more such days together. With his work, he is always being transferred and I miss him all the time whenever he is away. We barely get few days with each other in an entire year. The rest of the days are spent sending each other emails and texts and leaving voicemails as we'll keep missing each other's phone calls.

Jhanvi, standing next to me, breathes out and I turn to look at the relaxed expression on his face. She loves the view just as much.

And that peace is broken once we walk around the house to the back clearing where everyone is setting up with the cameras and lights.

Annie instructs one of her assistants who is moving the light stand, "No, no. To the right." The guy moves, but she scolds, "My right, Seth! Not yours."

He walks the other way and looks at her to confirm if that much length was good enough. She sighs, muttering how she has to do everything around here and then, what is the use of having assistants?

I chuckle to myself for she is adorable. Who was to tell her that everyone did do everything that was asked. She would just not be satisfied because she'd want them done a certain way as she was a bit too passionate for photography. As such, everything had to be perfect and when she got into her 'work mode', she didn't stop to think who the other person was.

When she walks past us without acknowledging either of us, especially me, I gape and my hand goes to my hip. Oh, no she did not!

I turn around in the direction where she was walking away and called out, "Little Miss A, you did not just ignore me like that!"

She turns around hearing my voice and the irritation on her face at her assistant who couldn't get one thing done flies away. Forgetting about the light for a second, she walks back to us with an apologetic smile. "

"Eva. Hi!" She greets with one of her usual tight hugs, "So sorry. A bit swamped with work as you can see." She then turns to Jhanvi with her bright smile, hugging her as well. "Hi Jhanvi, nice seeing you again. What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Annie." Jhanvi replies and I can tell her smile is polite. "I figured I'd see the shoot today. Experience how it all goes, you know?"

Annie's eyes slightly widen, "It was your idea?"

"Ofcourse. I was getting bored with all the office files and paperwork."

"Ah, I can imagine. Too much of a bother for me too. Hate it. Anyway, I'm glad you're here. It'll be fun. Listen, you both find a seat? I have to fix up a few things here first."

"Oh, sure. Ofcourse."

I nod at Annie to go along as well and to not worry about us. I know I'll make myself comfortable. I've been tons of shoots since I was a child. Sam, my uncle, would take me to plenty.

I lead Jhanvi towards a seating area in the shade so the sun doesn't get the best of us, "Come on, we can watch from there."

Jhanvi asks once we sit at the white couches, "So, I take it all three of you are friends?"

"Sorry?"

"You, Aarav and Annie." She clarifies before going on to explain, "He already admitted he knows you personally and maybe Annie is the kind of person to greet everyone with a hug but I still say you two are friends too."

I did know Jhanvi would eventually start catching up on all the relationships so I don't deny. "Yes, we all do know each other. She's like a little sister to me."

She faintly smiles, looking in the distance towards where the shoot preparations are still going on. "Yeah... Aarav really does have some good people in his life, hmm?"

"The best," I agree. In a nutshell, despite all his troubles, I could not think of another person who was so lucky to be surrounded by the set of people as he is.

"And then there is me."

I sense dejection in her voice... almost as if she doesn't think she should be in Aarav's life with how her own life is. Having my speculations, I still ask to get it out of her, "Why do you say it like that?"

"Hmm?" She turns to face me as if realizing she had spoken the thought aloud when she hadn't meant to. "Oh, um nothing."

I sit up a bit hoping to get her to open up to me, "Come on, Jhanvi. Aren't we friends? You can tell me anything that's on your mind."

She raises a brow in distrust, "So you can go back to the person and tell him everything? No, thank you."

I correct her, "Hey, Aarav and I may be friends and yes, I do tell him some things but I also respect our friendship. If you share something with me, you can trust that I will keep it between the two of us."

She continues to look at me as if weighing her options on whether or not to take that risk and trust me.

I forward my hand to rest on top of hers, expressing. "I can keep a secret, Jhanvi. Promise, nothing you ever tell me about your feelings will be breached to a third person."

She looks away from me, staring at her lap. I move my hand back, giving her space to make her own choice.

We had a few good conversations that day over movies but if she still doesn't trust me, especially knowing that Aarav and I know each other personally, I cannot force her to tell me things. Still, I wait patiently hoping she will trust me.

I can understand trust is a difficult concept for her right now.

A few seconds later though, she does look up again while shaking her head. Her hair sway back, behind her shoulder, and she takes the first step. "It's just hard, you know? He has a perfect life and sometimes... no, most of the times, I feel like an inconvenience. Like, his life would be so much simpler without me. My pregnancy. Hiten. Training me for business. He didn't ask for any of it. But, he is still accepting it all. It's like he knows everything about me but it's hard to trust him."

I sit a bit sideways to turn my feet in her direction as I attempt to clear some of her conflictions, "Sweetie, first off, don't assume he has a perfect life. Looks can be deceiving. You know that very well."

She bobs her head to the side, accepting that fact. She had first hand experienced it with her Aunt and Hiten. I didn't need to explain that further to her. "And second?"

"Secondly, the last thing he thinks of you as is an inconvenience. You have to know by now... he'd do anything for you."

I look towards Annie, thinking. Even stupid things like never letting his own self admit it to even himself. I've never confronted him about it, about Annie, but I am not blind here.

But, this is his choice which I have never interfered with.

She shifts to rest her back against the couch and sit comfortably. "He says that... yes. And I think I do believe him. Still, I almost know nothing personal about him. He is so guarded about his feelings. Ofcourse, I get it. Maybe he takes his time opening up to people. Believe me, more than anyone, I understand why. It's not easy showing your vulnerable side to others because once they know, you're weak. And when the world knows... they tend to find a way to use it against you."

I wish I could explain to her. It's not that he is afraid of being vulnerable in front of her.

No. Aarav. He is not weak. Daily, he proves that the way he is able to keep his feelings intact.

His reasons to not open up his heart and lay it out for her to do as she wishes are something else entirely.

I press my lips together, thinking it only for a second before I make my choice. "He wouldn't like me saying this but you know what? It's my story so I'll tell it to you. Do you know why he doesn't tell you things?"

She shakes her head.

I swallow before informing, "Till a few years ago, I was in the Indian army."

Her eyes widen at my background but I do not give her a chance to question it as there are more important things coming.

"I took this assignment involving some dangerous people. I didn't know it at the time, but I was pregnant. And, when I did find out, I was already deep in the assignment. I decided to keep it to myself. Finish the assignment. But all that stress... it resulted in a miscarriage."

She gasps when I pause for a second after having said it. I don't talk about it much. She reaches for my hand to comfort me, "I'm so sorry, Eva."

I smile at her. "It's behind me." I tell her, having accepted the past and moved on. "I left the army after that, ofcourse, given I am here now. But at the time, I blamed myself. If I had been careful, if I had pulled out, my life would be a different story. Now... I don't mind it. It gives me character. That experience makes me a stronger person. But anyway, my reason for telling you this is just that he worries the same might happen to you if he tells you everything."

"I never imagined that would be the reason," she confesses, almost breathless on learning this and perhaps a slight fear instills in her heart as well...

That isn't my intention. To scare her. But, she does need to understand where Aarav is coming from. Maybe Aarush was right earlier in the morning... that she needs to know. If for no other reason than to prepare herself.

I turn our hands around so her hand rest in mines and I assure her. "Believe me, Jhanvi. He does want to tell you. He's waiting, though, and he doesn't like that but I know, he'd also never forgive himself if you lost your baby because of him. He loves..." I stop abruptly realizing I was about to give away his feelings for her, "Well, you know." I let it be at that.

Even if I did not say it, I am sure Jhanvi already knows by now. She has to have an idea of what Aarav feels for her.

She inhales deeply, raggedly, as if trying to compose herself but her hormones work against her. The emotions she fights still show themselves in the form of a lone tear.

I caress the back of her hand for comfort. She lifts her other hand to her lashes, wiping them dry with the hook of her index finger.

"I'm being silly," she speaks in a low voice, "I know... but, just... I didn't think anyone could care for me this way."

I shift closer to hug her side, "Let him show you otherwise, dear. I know you're afraid of getting hurt again but I know him as well as I know myself. The boy would die before he'd let himself hurt you."

Though I am sitting here convincing her of Aarav's feelings for her, the things I know nag at my insides. Tests my loyalties.

I want Jhanvi to be happy because she deserves that after everything she has been through in her life since a young age, yes.

But, is it wrong that I also want Annie to be happy? I've seen her grow up in front of me. I have loved her as a sister and I have watched her fall in love with Aarav. I have seen both of them together and what they share? It breaks my heart sometimes.

Annie wouldn't have ever confessed it to me if I hadn't found her that night of Aarav's birthday, leaving his room trying to control her sobs. Thing was, I too had gone up to find Aarav. Ask him to come downstairs and join the rest of us. I had heard everything.

Aarav doesn't know himself that I know as I had left after Annie to comfort her but that girl... she made even me promise that I'd never bring it up. That I wouldn't talk to Aarav about it either because she would never get between him and Jhanvi.

Jhanvi does not say anything, lost in her own thoughts as well. Perhaps, contemplating her own emotions to make sense of them.

And me... I don't realize when the afternoon goes away in my own quest - trying to figure out what to do. If I should do something.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          As the shoot wraps up, Annie walks over to us, slumping on the couch next to me. "The God's Almighty. I sometimes hate the models, I tell you! I'm so sorry, girls. I couldn't come talk to you for even a second."

Jhanvi assures her, "Relax, we saw how busy you were. You're pretty good with the camera, you know? I'd love to see how those shots come out."

"Ofcourse, I'm sure you'll be there when I get the digital prints ready." Annie informs, reaching for my glass of water which I only had a few sips from.

I swat her hand, "Get your own."

She rolls her eyes, not carrying about drinking from someone else's glass, and gulps it down. "I've been working my ass off there while you two have been chilling here. So, no. You get another."

"You are a handful. I don't know how anyone will keep up with you."

She looks at me smugly, and I know. She least cares for a relationship. I don't know how she'll ever be happy if she keeps going at this rate. "I don't know of the future sis, but I am ready to taste some of Jenny's mean cooking. You're coming for dinner tonight, yes?"

"Wouldn't miss it," I answer.

Jenny, Jennifer, is one of the girls who used to live at the shelter with Annie. She moved to Italy to be a model and for years now, she's lived here. Since we are all visiting, ofcourse she insisted we all had to have a get-together.

Annie speaks to Jhanvi, "You should come too."

Jhanvi denies, "Oh, no. Thanks, but I don't want to intrude."

Annie gives her a scolding look, "Girl, please. There is no such thing as intrusion in friendship. Besides, I can bet you Jenny invited Aarav and he'd be a fool to deny her. What are you going to do at your place by yourself?"

"Well, I'll just..."

Annie beats her in a protest, standing up and putting her hands on her hips to prove to Jhanvi that she is more stubborn than she. "Ms. Jhanvi Raichand, get your pretty little butt off your couch and show up at dinner with Aarav or I swear I will march over to your place and drag you there myself, got it?"

"Annie!" I scold her for her behavior but she least bats an eye of shame.

I do get what she is doing. In her way, she is getting Jhanvi involved in our lives. Making her feel welcome.

Sometimes, I don't understand her. How can she be open and welcoming to Jhanvi despite her feelings for Aarav? How can she have such a big heart?

If it were me and Jigar loved someone else, I so would not know how to be a bigger person like her. In that aspect, she reminds me of my aunt, Lavanya. Well, not the part of her loving someone else because before my uncle, Sam, she never loved anyone else, but the part about her having a big heart and being fiercely loyal towards loved ones.

Jhanvi succumbs, "Okay, geez. I'll come. Just, stop with that scary look already. I swear, you beat even Aarav in that."

Annie grins in victory, "Uh, duh. Who do you think taught him?"

I interject, "Hello, come back to Earth, yeah? He gets those intimidating looks from Arnav uncle."

Annie defends her worth, "Hey, even Arnie gives in to my whims."

I stand up to meet her height, towering over her slightly due to my heels compared to her sneakers, and fold my hands to convey my defeat, "Okay, meri maa. The entire Raizada family loves you to bits. I hear you. Now can we get going so we can freshen up before meeting for dinner?"

She shrugs her shoulder, "I'm not stopping you."

Jhanvi chuckles, standing up as well. "I'm starting to see."

"See what?" Annie asks.

"You must keep Aarav on his toes, huh?"

Annie proudly admits it, "Well, if by that, you mean annoying the life out of him with the troubles I get myself in all the time, then heck yes."

A smile spreads further on Jhanvi's lips at her comment and shaking her head in amusement, she gives her a bidding hug. "It just might be fun having you as a friend."

Annie hugs back and the smile on her face is almost one of relief. As if she is happy to have Jhanvi's approval and perhaps, because for the time being, she believes she has managed to hide her true feelings for Aarav from her.

Though, I am worried for her. It is going to eat her up and eventually, she is going to feel that same confliction that I feel - in between Jhanvi's friendship and love for Aarav.

I know what she is trying to do. Be friends with Jhanvi but at what cost? She's sacrificing her own feelings... as she has for years since. And three of their future...? I really wish I could see the future so I could know what I should do in the moment.

Sadly, life is a bitch.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note  ∞

So remember earlier in the book I asked your opinion on Aarush? I haven't forgotten him. Here's more on him and I have such grand plans for him :D 

QOTC: 1.) Any theories on how Aarush will be involved or this disturbing dream of his? 2.) Eva claims everyone is running from feelings: how does it apply to the four of them ;) 3.) Also, what do you think of Eva having a mental conflict between the three and what she should/should not do?

Given it's a new POV, I'd love to know if you liked or didn't like it. It'll help me decide in future! In all the chapters I've written & planned ahead, I don't include another of Eva's but I'd surely love to know your thoughts on her character so far! You've seen how much Aarav cares for her and confides in her but how is it to learn the other side?

Everyone wanting Aarav to tell Jhanvi, I completely agree & thanks for being patient! It won't be long now :D Things are starting to build up to climax for this first book!!