♔ Aarav ♔

          I panic for a moment when I wake up and the first thing I do is look towards the bed. It's empty. Unlike all the other days, the sheets are tucked back. She made her bed. I don't hear any sound from the washroom either. I walk outside and don't spot her in the living room or the kitchen.

However, there's a plate on the kitchen counter and another upside down covering it with a mug next to it, covered as well. I take the plate off to see she made eggs and toast and left some for me. I am about to cover it when I catch a note sticking under it. I move it aside.

                             Going next door... and you were right. I am tired of running away. I am tired of being alone. Thank you for being here for me right now.

The guilt I have been holding in since last night comes out in a sharp exhale as I feel a huge weight lift my shoulders. I had wanted to take my words back on realizing just how much I had hurt her by saying them. Now, it is a huge relief that it atleast made her think about how she really feels.

Last night, I'd hated myself for giving in to my fears and pushing her so much to accept everything she's been running from. 

As days go by, we hear no word of where Dinesh is. Over the years, dad has been trying and trying to track him down. Every time he gets close, Dinesh seems to figure out and he'll change cities away. Now, with Jhanvi far away from Mumbai, he is back to his hiding tricks. Instead of coming out to challenge the will and show myself, he is staying hidden.

It can't be that he does not know Jhanvi had been back in Mumbai because Hiten was working with him. Dad thinks that if Jhanvi will be back in Mumbai, it'll draw him out. I did not want to take that risk at first which is why for the past days I've been pushing him off that plan, asking him to keep track all other ventures.

Even he understood I did not want to put her life at risk because it certainly would be in danger if we were successful in forcing Dinesh out of hiding. Still, he insisted that the sooner Jhanvi was with the entire family, the better. That, I understood. Right now, we were divided and in Italy, I could not keep Jhanvi as safe as we could in Mumbai. The Raizada name held power and resources easily accessible back home compared to in a foreign country.

As such, neither of us were in the wrong and that made it tougher to reach a decision.

Yesterday, when we were already on the topic, I figured I could give it a shot... see if it'd bring us closer. If she trusts me enough for me to convince her to return to Mumbai once the calendar shoot is wrapped up.

But, the second I made her cry and she ran away, locking herself in the bathroom, I regretted every word. I knew she wasn't ready but for her sake, I'd tried and this is what it ended in.

Though last night was spent in misery, seeing this note from her makes me wonder if it was worth it. If she was truly done running away, what was she doing leaving a note and being next door so early in the morning?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          I hear pounding on the door and I imagine it's her. I turn off the shower and step out of the tub draping a towel around my waist. I reach for the door knob and hear something tap against it, though it's not a knock. I pull the door to find her rubbing the back of her head. I understand it was her head hitting the door. She tries to step back but her foot seems to be in a war with the rug as she slips again. Before she'd have a nasty fall and hit some other part of her body, I reach forward and catch her by the elbow and tug her towards me.

"Careful, Shona." I speak in her ear as my other hand goes around her back to hold her protectively.

She twists her head back to look at the floor. She then places her hands on my shoulders and steadies herself, pulling her foot back to untangle herself. My attention is not on that though. It's on the fact that as she pulls her weight back and stands to her height, her hands slip down to my upper arm.

I ask just with the intention to distract myself, "Did you need something?"

"Huh?" She glances up at me and realizing our proximity, takes a step back. I suddenly miss the lack of her closeness to my skin.

"You were right by the door."

"Oh that," She informs stepping off the rug as if afraid she'd slip again. "No, thought I was going to throw up but no."

I nod and the silence settles in as she lowered her gaze to the floor. I slightly catch her eyes widen in the process as she realizes I am standing there with only a towel wrapped around me.

She squeezes her eyes shut as color starts rising to her cheeks. She turns her back to me and I can no longer watch her face but I do hear the nerves speaking in her fumbles. "I – uh – you should..."

I do get her hint and close the door to get dressed.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Minutes later, I find her in the kitchen heating up a packet of ready-made soup. "Shona?"

"Hmm?" She answers stirring the contents in the pot.

"Did you mean it?" I ask continuing to walk up to her and stop with a decent space in between us.

She says, "Yes," without meeting my eyes. I imagine she feels embarrassed to look at me because of our earlier moment.

Still, I reach for her hand because what I need to say is more important. She glances at her hand in mine, "I promise, you won't regret it." 

She nods and because she doesn't answer, I have no way of knowing if she believes me. 

"I have something for you." I reach into my pocket and take out a ring box with the ring inside that I had asked from Anjali before coming here with Jhanvi.

At that, her eyes do widen. "Aarav, no..."

"I know, you need time." I interject before she can protest, already knowing what her defense would be. "I'm not asking you to wear it right now. I just want to give this to you... to remind you of my promise. To make you believe that I am not Hiten." It kills me to say his name but for her, I do. "I won't hurt you. I could never hurt you the way he did. I want to marry you one day, and I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

I open the box and place it in her palm. Maybe it is because she is still reeling from what is happening that she doesn't fight it. 

I turn her around and brush her hair to one shoulder. I feel her stiffen as my fingers trace the back of her neck. I simply unclasp the chain she wears around her neck at all times. It's a piece of jewelry she never takes off and I know why. It's her mothers. As I take it off, I lean forward and tug the ring out of its holder.

She twists her head sideways to see what I am doing. I slip the ring in the chain and lock it around her neck again. The ring comes to rest over the center of her collarbones. Her fingers reach for it as I shift her hair to fall behind again. She turns around and I take a very tiny step back.

I don't feel the need to say anything else as I've already expressed myself. Then, she meets my eyes and for what seems to be a very, the smile on her face reaches her eyes.

And that... that is enough for me. That, I vow to myself I will never let fade. It was finally there now, how it should have always been. How she used to be when we were children.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          "What'd you want to eat for dinner? I'll cook." It's rare I do that, but after the hectic days earlier in the week, today finally looks to be a good day in comparison. There is no better way to unwind than to cook.

She gives an instant answer as if she were craving it, "How about Mexican? I'd love some chips and salsa over anything else."

I try to get her to compromise, "Sure, but how about some tacos too? And rice. Eat some real food." Chips and salsa wouldn't be filling and she needs to eat for two.

"Okay, yes. Good idea."

For the next hour, we cook with some light-hearted conversation. I pause my chopping and ask, "Shona, can you get that?"

"Get what?"

I nod towards my pants. "My phone. I'm getting a call."

It's probably one of the rare times when I don't have my Bluetooth attached to my ear. Since my phone was on vibrate, she didn't heart the ringing and since my hands are dirty, I ask her. Unlike what I thought, she doesn't hesitate as she slips her fingers in my front pocket and takes it out for me.

She reads the caller ID and asks in confusion, "It's your di?"

She shows me the screen and I nod for her to answer it. She slides the bar over and puts it on speaker.

Anjali greets, "Hey kiddo."

I say as I resume chopping tomatoes, "Hey mom, I'm cooking right now. Can I call you back?"

She quickly answers, "Oh, don't worry about that. I was just calling to remind you to call your Armaan uncle. He's planning a surprise for your mom and he wants your help."

"Right, okay. I'll do that." I say understanding she's talking about Khushi's upcoming birthday. "How's Aman?"

She scolds, "Aarav, how many times do I have to tell you? He's your dad's age. You can't call him by his name."

I laugh, "Di, come on. He doesn't mind."

"I don't understand you two." She mutters. "Anyway, I'll let you go cook. Take care of yourself and come home soon, you hear? We miss you. It's not the same here without you."

I smile somberly, "I will, mom. I miss you all too."

The call ends just as I slide the chopped items in a mixer for the salsa. 

Jhanvi asks, curiosity getting the best of her. "I didn't know you had an elder sister."

"Uh, I don't. It's complicated." I answer realizing I had switched back and forth from calling Anjali di and mom and that could have really confused the life out of her. 

I hadn't been careful. 

Maybe because a part of me didn't want to be careful anymore - always having to watch what I said to her. I couldn't claim to want a real relationship with her and not be honest with her, right?

I thought she might get annoyed with that answer but she chortles, "Anything in your life that isn't complicated?"

I answer cheekily in a heartbeat, "My feelings for you." I smirk at her frozen reaction and wink before turning on the mixer.

The noise of it puts our conversation on hold. When I stop and twist the lid open, she passes over the bowl. 

She starts her questions again, showing just how relentless she can be when she wants answers, "Seriously, who was she? You don't really talk about your family ever and that's the biggest contradiction about you since you claim to be all about family being everything to you."

I place the now-empty mixer on the counter and then turn my head to her direction. "Family is everything to me, Shona. It's the truth..." I pick up the mixer again and walk to the sink to rinse it quickly instead of piling it in. "...but another truth is also that everything is complicated when it comes to my family."

She continues to probe, "How?"

I don't answer at first, my focus on the mixer, but in reality, I am trying to decide how to come to an answer without lying.

After placing it in a rack, I sigh and turn off the tap. Without looking at her, I dry my hands on a towel and answer. "Arshiya's parents are not my parents. Not really."

She asks, not finding anything complicated or wrong with it. "You're adopted?"

I do get that lots of kids are adopted and it isn't a fact to be ashamed about. But my past... it really is complicated to understand. I don't just say it is so I don't have to answer.

I put the towel aside. "Yes and no." Her brows knit together in further confusion on how it can be both. Either I am adopted, or I am not. "My family history is long and not the most cheerful conversation to have over dinner." I suggest, "How about I tell you another time?"

This time, unlike previous times, I don't brush it off instantly and that is probably what makes her consider it. I don't want to keep hiding it. I just want to say it in the right circumstances and she seems to understand that. "Okay, but you have to answer one question... not related to your family."

I nod for her to ask it.

"You know Eva from before, don't you? Personally, not just professionally?"

I inhale deeply and exhale. She doesn't realize that in a way, this is a question related to my family. Still, I give her an answer.

"Yes."

"Yes?" She repeated wanting me to tell her exactly how I know her and why we hid that from her.

I take a step towards her and place my hands on her hips. I request, "Can you please just accept that answer for now?"

She speaks disappointedly, "I don't understand what the big deal is, Aarav. You claim you want to marry me and yet you aren't the most open person out there. You keep me at an arm's length. How am I to get to know you when you won't tell me anything that's personal about you?"

"I know." I exhale moving my hand to her arm while the other remains on her right hip. She gulps and I try to ignore the goosebumps on her skin, "It's not fair. I know. I promise, I will tell you everything you want to know soon."

I know I am running out of time to tell her everything about her past... my past, our past.

She really does want to know but still closes her eyes for a fraction of a second to hold it back. "Yeah, okay."

I lean in to kiss her cheek for seconds longer than my normal forehead kisses, "Thank you." I whisper in gratitude, lips still grazing over her skin.

She leans back to look at my face. There was a reason I was keeping my face against her skin instead of looking into her eyes because then she'd shy away from the proximity and I don't want to scare her away. Still, I cannot help my dazed eyes from traveling to her lips and forcing myself to then loop at her eyes.

Whenever I am close to her, I am always on the verge of losing my self-control. She is gorgeous, there is no doubt about that. I have often wondered how it would be to kiss her, her soft rosy lips.

As I often do, I blink furiously and force myself to step back. With the breadth of space between us, it suddenly feels empty. I just want to hold her again.

But, no.

I reign in some control over my itching hands to touch her and instead run my hands through my hair. Clearing my throat, I walk away to the counter. "Let's eat." I suggest picking up the bowl of salsa and platter of enchilada.

Seconds later, she picks up the bag of tortilla chips and plates and follows to the dining table and we sit across from each other.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note  ∞  

This chapter was coming at 5000+ words so I decided to make it two different chapters.. they're getting somewhere!

QOTC: Do you think Jhanvi will truly stop running? What do you think of Arnav & Aarav's troubles? They both want what's best for Jhanvi but can't decide what to do ): 

I have written roughly 5 chapters ahead.. planning to write some more today. 

News for Sanya & Rihaan: keep an eye out for it tomorrow on my profile!! It's time :D