Dedicated to razz03. First use of 'dare to be' in the book so ofcourse had to dedicate this chapter to you (: <3

♔ Aarav ♔

          "Why should I worry about it when you just said you'd look after it for me?"

My eyes change at her words. They soften. It's the first time she doesn't fight me on something I have said to her. For the first time, she lets me help her and essentially gives me permission to take charge of something for her so it's one less thing for her to worry about.

She glances at our hands. Her soft and small hands over mines. I have to fight back the urge to continue rubbing my thumb over it and a deep want to engrave every inch of it in my memory. I have no clue if a moment will come in the near future when she'll let me hold her hand again. I have noticed she is very protective of her personal space.

I don't understand how she can be intimate with Hiten and run from any contact with people who actually do care for her. It's almost contradictory.

She steps back and her hand falls out of mine. Reluctantly, I cannot stop it and hold it again, "Now come on. I'm sure there's lots of work to do."

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          She insists on wanting to help but I tell her to read a project file for me as I call up the clients with whom I had a meeting with this week and reschedule them. It's more important to deal with the internal mess first.

There is a knock on the door and I wave at the unknown lady to come in and show her my index finger asking her to wait. She stands there on the opposite side of the desk, silently. "Great, Ms. Sanders. Next Tuesday works perfectly. I will see you then." Ending the call, I look up at her. "Yes?"

"Hi... I'm the head of the graphics department." She introduces herself and hands me a file, "Here are all the designs we've created since the past year. You'll find all the changes included at each step of the way." She informs while I flip through the laminated pages and scan it over once. "The written reports are all in there as well, along with the work from the advertising department."

Finally. One person with some impressive work. It had only been fifteen minutes since the conference room meeting and so for her to get this to me this quickly did create a positive impression of her on me. "Good. Thorough."

"Thank you," She nods and turns to leave but then pauses and turns. She seems to be debating whether to say whatever is on her mind.

"What is it?" Jhanvi asks in a softer voice than I could have managed.

"I apologize if I am stepping out of line saying this, but the people that work here... they aren't bad people. It's just that with no one really there to look over us, until now, they got lenient. I am sure you won't be disappointed with their work if you give them a chance."

I nod at her hoping to ease her nervousness, "They are given a chance. I hope you are right."

She adds, "And I'm not saying this to sweet-talk or anything, but I am glad to see you here. I only worked here for six months but I have heard a lot about you. I didn't think I'd get to meet you one day but I consider myself lucky I got to meet you this early in my career."

I am mostly good at reading if people really mean what they say and I can tell she didn't rehearse any of this. I do take a liking to her genuineness. "Thank you..."

She understands I am looking for a name and offers, "Tia Banks."

"Thank you, Tia." I complete. "I look forward to working with you." Giving a smile, she retreated towards the door. "And Tia?" I stop her there to add, "You don't need to be afraid to speak your mind in front of me when you haven't done anything wrong. If it is something I need to know, you are free to say it. Be confident if you know what you say is true. Being nervous will get you nowhere."

Her face changes from shock that I caught her fear to surprise that I was nice to her instead of what she must have expected. With a smile on her face, she replies. "I will keep that in mind, Mr. Raizada. Thank you."

Giving her a final nod, I wave her out of the cabin.

As I look back at the folder she'd handed me, Jhanvi speaks up. "That was some nice advice."

"Just some things my dad taught me," I answer multi-tasking.

"I can't imagine you being scared of speaking your mind in front of anyone."

I offer, "Not necessarily scared, but being self-confident." I lock my eyes with her, "And if you must know, I am always scared of what I say to you."

She laughs at the absurdity of the thought, "You're joking, right?"

"Not at all." I answer honestly stopping my side work and giving her my full attention, "I never know how you will react to the slightest of things. I never know if something I say might offend you."

She clears his throat to take that moment to gather her thoughts, "I guess I'm not the best at telling people how I feel?"

I answer in her defense, "No one's asked you before how you feel."

She answers with silence as if my response makes things very real for her – as if it is the truth. To not put her on the spot, I return to work. She seems to appreciate it as she stands up. "I'll go work in my office." 

I figure she works better that way – in privacy. So, I don't stop her to tell her I won't mind if she stays because this is for her. Even if I didn't mind, she would.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          After a long and tiring day, Jhanvi and I come back to the apartment. My tie is off the second we get inside. To be honest, I hate ties. It makes me feel as if someone is strangling me. I leave the suit coat on the arm of the couch and taking a seat, unbutton the top few buttons. As is Jhanvi's ritual, she leaves her purse on the bed and walks into the washroom to freshen up and change.

It's only been four days since we got to Italy. My hand is on my nape as I move my head about, trying to side the soreness of my neck. Sleeping on the couch has been getting to me since day 1. I have been trying to hide it from Jhanvi, but I don't know how long I can keep up with it.

On hearing the click and the door opening, I move my hand and instead check my phone for messages. Seconds later as she is putting her purse in its place instead of on the bed, she voices out. "You really should get your own place."

Keeping my eyes to the phone as I am waiting on an email, I mutter, "Forget it."

She walks up to me and holds her hand out. A pain-relief ointment for sore muscles. "Here, this should make it better."

Well then, looks like I haven't been as good in hiding it as I was priding myself to believe. I take it with a frown. "Thanks."

Giving a nod in response, she turns to leave but then pauses. I hear her exhaling before she faces me again. Without saying a word, she grabs the ointment from my hand. My head snaps up to her in confusion but she remains silent and moves to stand behind me.

She nudges my shirt down a little and massages it around my neck. The second her fingers touch my skin, I stiffen at the contact. She is trying to keep her touch steady but I can feel it. They are hesitant. She didn't think over her actions before she started to give me a massage. I keep my mouth shut to save her from feeling any more conscious.

I push the mindless thoughts away because they are only going to make this more intense than it needs to be and keep me from moving on. She really has some magical hands though, the softest touch and yet effective. The even pressure just as she reaches that one spot that is the sorest of all causes me to close my eyes and let out a sigh.

She figures it out and massages the area with her thumb for a few seconds longer. Then I feel the lack of her fingers and hear her step back. "I'll start on dinner," If I went off her voice, I'd say she wasn't affected at all. But that cannot be the case.

If it affected me, made me think that she may be starting to care for me too, but it has to mean something. If she was just being polite, she'd have ended it at simply giving me the ointment and leaving.

But, she stayed.

So, I hold on to the hope.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          A week goes by with the pre-planning for the calendar shoot. Tomorrow, we start the shooting schedule. Since it's the weekend, we have lunch in and then I ask her if she wants to go out someplace since our next business affair isn't until tomorrow. I've learned that she doesn't prefer staying indoors a lot but because of work, we're almost always from one room to the other.

Surprisingly, she tells me she just wants to stay in and catch up on sleep. "Can we go tomorrow if you don't mind?"

"Yeah, ofcourse." I reply at once. I think and then voice out, "Maybe I'll go meet a friend."

She nods making herself comfortable on the bed, "You don't have to ask me, Aarav. I don't want you to put your life on hold for me."

Someone tell her she couldn't be more wrong. My life had been on hold all these years without her. It's just now getting back to track. "Do you want me to call Eva to give you some company?"

She smiles and sits up on her elbows, "Will it make you feel better and get you to go meet your friend?"

"Yes." 

I don't want to leave her alone in an unknown country - her safety issue aside. Given it was a different country, Aarush did come with us but not in the official capacity as an army officer working undercover. Here, I reckon he is just another civilian. I do not understand why both he and Eva insisted it was okay for him to be here despite not having proper permits. 

"Okay, then."

I am glad she lets me call Eva.

Once she gets there, I make my plans.

As I reach the restaurant in the evening, I send a text to Annie to ask if she was here.

Today, she was going to arrive in Milan with her team. She'd found her passion in photography and even though dad offered her plenty of times to join the business, she wouldn't. She chose to be a freelancer and the only time she'd work with us was for our yearly calendar shoots.

I check her reply and then I approach her at the bar. I should have known she would be here instead of at a table. "Too early in the evening to be drinking, don't you think?"

"Don't you know to not get between a girl and her martini?" She teases turning around and flashing me her bright smile. She has changed her hair style and even added streaks to them. Brown this time and they mix in with her natural hair color instead of clashing and popping out like her neon green from a few years ago. She claims it was not supposed to be as bright, but oh well - that is a story for another time.

I don't know why, even after years of knowing her, I still call her out on her love for martinis. She jumps down the bar stool and reaches up to give me a tight hug.

I laugh because I can feel how much she's missed me with that simple hug. Despite how distant she had been over the texts and calls since my birthday, this feels like her old self and I find all that distance between us disappear in a second.

"I missed you too, Angel." I warmly respond to the hug and slightly pick her off the ground so I don't have to lean in. I can't be blamed for this. She's just so tiny and light-weight.

Yet, I know how much it irritates her. "Ugh, Junior. How many times do I have to tell you to not do that?"

"Atleast infinity times," I cheekily respond and finally set her on her own feet. She takes her seat again and I lean back on the counter, facing the crowd while my arm hangs back on the counter. I place my order with the barkeep.

She teases, "Posh."

"It's not." I counter her with a playful glare.

She laughs as if I've made a joke, "Darling, please. Your tastes are nothing short of rich. Not that it is bad though." She is quick to assure me when I frown, "You make up for it in personality."

"Sweet talker."

She bobs her shoulders accepting it as a compliment when it wasn't meant as one. "Anyway, tell me. How's everyone at home? Arnav and Khushi?"

"They're good. Mad that you didn't come home this year for my birthday."

"They're mad or you're mad?" She questions when I try to lace my feelings over to the two of them.

I should know better than to trick Annie into anything. She always catches it. So, I fess up honestly circling the rim of my drink. "I wasn't mad... just missed you there. You know I'm not much for celebrating my birthday."

She expresses "I'm sorry I couldn't be there," reaching for my hand so I'd stop circling the glass absentmindedly. "I couldn't get out of work."

I nod and force a smile to be understanding. "I know, it's okay. You have your life too."

She teasingly smiles to get me to brighten up, "Exactly, you don't hear me complaining about you getting busy with work, do you?"

"That," I shake my drink and tilt my head back to gulp down the drink in one go, "is because you know very well I put you above my work any given second of the day."

Like with any of my family member, anytime she calls, I will drop everything and talk to her – even if she is calling just because she is bored and isn't an emergency. I can't ever bring myself to tell her I'd call her back later because truth is, I wouldn't want to. I would want to talk to her. Anytime. Anywhere.

"Aren't I lucky?" She gushes.

I smirk taking all the credit, "That you are."

She shakes her head in a grin, picking up her glass of martini and taking a sip. Then she gets serious and nods towards the bandage that is still there on my palm. "What happened there?"

"I got mad."

She rolls her eyes and swats my arm, "I can see that, Junior. I'm asking what got you mad. You usually have a better hold on your temper."

"Something reminded me of him." She picks up on who I am talking about with the vile laced in my tone. "He'll be out of jail in a few months. He keeps trying to get in touch with me. When will he take the hint that I never, ever, want to meet him?"

She slips her hand in mine and gently squeezes to share comfort. Seconds later, the bartender tops up my glass. I figure she must have motioned for him to. I bring the glass closer with my free hand but don't have the heart to drink my sorrows away.

Annie is here for me to talk to. Her presence itself makes me feel better.

Since learning about a month ago that he will be released soon, I haven't talked about it with anyone until now. There is no one I would talk to about this than with her.

This isn't what I imagined our night to be. I knew she'd ask about the injury but I had figured I could handle it. How could I forget that when she asks, I come undone like an open diary book? She's the keeper of all my secrets, after all.

She is my personal diary.

It's just better because I just don't pour out my deepest, darkest secrets to her. I'll tell her my true feelings, not what I think I am supposed to feel, not what the world will say will be 'right'. I don't hide from her. I don't put on a façade in front of her.

I'm always real with her, no bullshit, and it's better than a diary because she answers back. She shows me the mirror and pulls me on the right path when I need it. She pulls me away from anger, destruction, guilt, self-criticism, despair, etc. All things negative out there in the world? She keeps me from it whenever I feel threatened to give in to it.

Sometimes, I tell myself I don't deserve her.

"You don't have to meet him, Aarav. You're an adult. No one can make you."

I remain silent for a few seconds.

Then, my eyes lock with hers and I whisper, "It's still an awful reminder."

She pulls the chair closer, getting in her zone and then questions, "Okay, what do you want? Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to distract you?"

I tell myself I don't want to wallow. I am here with her after a long time, just the two of us. I want the best of every second. "Second option, please."

With that, she starts telling me everything she has been doing recently and it's easy to slip into a flowing conversation with her – jumping from one topic to another and back.

It's a welcoming relief.

Some three hours later, I suggest we should start heading out. She complains, "What's the rush? Night is still young." She senses my hesitation and I get it. I am never eager on returning home when the people I am with are like family to me. She gasps and accuses, "You have someone waiting for you."

"Annie."

She swats my shoulder and demands, "How was that not the first thing you shared? I'm hurt, Aarav."

I roll my eyes, "Okay, both you and Eva need to stop hanging out with Khushi so much."

"Aarav flipping Raizada, you better tell me who your girl is right now." Yes, she is known to be protective when it comes to females in my life.

"Relax, Angel." I assure her, "You know there's only been one girl for me."

She takes in the face and says with an ecstatic smile, "You finally dared to be with her, huh?" She squeals and drapes her arms around my neck, pulling me to her, "I'm so freaking happy for you!"

Knowing her feelings for me, it fills my heart up with warmth that she still seems to be happier about this than I thought was possible. The only reason it wasn't the first thing I said was because I wasn't sure of her reaction. But... this is Annie. I should have known she'd welcome it with open arms. She's known about the will and Jhanvi as long as I have.

"Alright, go then!" She lets me leave and drops her idea of insisting I stay longer.

"What about you?"

"My hotel is just around the block. I'll be fine."

I shake my head and gently wrap my fingers around her elbow to make her stand up, "Nope, I'll walk you to your room, come on."

She rolls her eyes to accuse, "I like how little faith you have in me."

I counter as I hand the bartender my card to clear our tab for the night, "No, I just know you better and you, my dear, deserve better than hooking up with strangers."

She doesn't take offense knowing herself better but still makes a point as we walk out of the bar, "Hey, in my profession, I'm always moving. I'm never in one place long enough to have a relationship. Hooking up with strangers is the next best thing there is."

"You know you're in for a long over-due lecture when dad finds out about this, right?"

"Don't you dare tell Arnie!" She exclaims, "He so does not need to know about my sex life."

I laugh to myself, only imaging how tragically that conversation would go. "Then how about you get serious and find someone you actually like? I mean, seriously Angel. You're a beautiful girl. Passionate and so full of life. Any guy will be lucky."

She sighs and accuses, "Thank you for killing my buzz."

I shake my head in disappointment. She holds a few amazing ideologies about everything else in her life that I admire her for except when it comes to romantic relationships, and I don't know what to do about it.

We reach her hotel entrance and she turns me about, "I can get inside on my own."

Still, I turn to face her again and tuck a finger under her chin to get her to look at me, "Promise me you'll try better, Angel."

She looks away hurt and asks, "Aarav, please don't do this right now."

I counter grazing a thumb to her cheek, "I have a right to worry about you, don't I?"

She gulps and for the first time ever, inches away from my affection. Somewhere, it doesn't settle well. "I'm happy with how I live my life, Aarav. You don't have to worry." The tone of her voice is also a bit distant as if she wants to be mad at me for trying to give her my thoughts on this matter but can't bring herself to be mad. It's not that I judge her for the way she lives her personal life. It's just that I care.

"Never." I answer letting her know there is nothing she can say. I'd never stop worrying about her.

She takes my wrist and pulls my hand off her cheek and says to make a point. "Good night, Aarav."

I drop it for the time being but we both know I will bring it up again, and again, and again till she'll listen. "Sweet dreams, Angel." I whisper as I press a kiss to the top of her head.

She turns and walks inside the doors of the building, knowing very well I won't leave until she's safely inside. I watch her disappear inside the elevators and its only after that that I turn around and walk the block back to where my car is.

I inhale deeply trying to fill a void inside of me, no clue where it is coming from but it's there.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          "Did you make her cry?!" I exclaim when I return to the apartment and find used Kleenex all around the living room table. Jhanvi seemed to have fallen asleep but Eva was still watching TV in a low volume.

She gasps at my assumption, "What? No! Chill, it was the movie!"

"Oh. Okay." I instantly relax. She moves aside and I approach the sofa to carefully pick her up. As I am moving her to the bedroom, she snuggles closer relaxing in the warmth. I momentarily pause afraid I woke her up and glace down at the serene smile on her lips. 

"She needs to change." Eva points out. "She won't be much comfortable in that dress."

"She'll be fine." I lower her to the bed, drawing the line there. I know for a fact Jhanvi wouldn't appreciate otherwise.

"Okay... well take care of her." She whispers in a soft voice.

"I will." After pulling the blanket over her and she is safely tucked in bed, I turn to Eva. "Thanks E... for looking after her."

"Anytime, kiddo." She bids and I walk her to the door. "How's Annie?"

"Great. Looking forward to seeing you again."

She smiles, "Yeah, it's been a while since we met. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"What?"

She gives me a scolding look, "Please, kiddo. I'm your sister, remember? With everything going on lately, I'm sure talking to Annie did it's trick. As always."

I cannot tell her she is wrong. With a troubled mind, I always reach out to Annie before trying anyone else. Eva knows that fact as well as she knows me and Annie.

"Good night," she says when I do not answer. I did not need to answer. 

I return to the room afterwards to change but at the clink of the door, she stirs awake. "Aarav?"

I curse under my breath. "Crap, sorry! Go back to sleep. Didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay. Can you get me some water?" I nod and come back with a bottle. 

She's got a habit of leaving it on the side table so if she wakes up thirsty, she doesn't have to break her sleep by walking all the way to the kitchen. So, I leave it on the side table. 

I turn to return to the couch where I've slept all of last week, when she slips her hand in my palm. "Can you stay here tonight?"

It takes me a moment to recover and realize she's looking at me for an answer. I nod and she leaves my hand so I can walk around to the other side. She turns to her side facing me, and its as if she feels a lot relaxed now. What happened? I'm going to have to find out from Eva.

"Good night."

"Good night, Shona." I whisper back.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

  ∞ author note  ∞  

A general comment on Annie's character: She calls him junior for ASR Jr. and Darling when it is to tease or simply out of affection. She's grown up in Australia and as such, she is not awkward around compliments or endearing words. Her personality is also much more open-minded and modern as you will see through her actions. It's not traditional 'well-behaved'. I hope you'll try to keep an open mind too and not judge her too harshly :) She had been through plenty in life, after all. 

QOTC: Good balance of Annie & Jhanvi? Surprised with Annie's positive reaction to learning about Jhanvi? And do you think Aarav might feel guilty/blame himself that Annie leads a carefree 'dating' life because of him? 

Suggestion: Any actress in mind when you think of Annie? I'm open to suggestions right now! I have a few in mind but I want to know what you as readers perceive her as. 

Predictions on what happens when Jhanvi & Annie meet? (next chapter!)

PS: For those who do not know, this is my blog that I created way back in 2012. Needless to say, it's a terrible mess and last 2-3 days, I've been trying to clean it up. I've removed almost 4 of my old books and now working on adding recent things there. Feel free to drop by if you'd like!

https://diamondfantasy.wordpress.com/

Happy Good Friday to all residing on my side of the world, and rest, happy weekend! See you next week with double the fun and thrice and updating!

Off to watch How to Get Away With Murder. Leave your precious votes & comments and make my weekend ;) !!