"You!?"

I couldn't believe the sight infront of me, as if this first day couldn't get any worse.

"You?!" My room-mate repeats my words, realisation dawning on her features as she recognises who I am.

Miss I-have-no-chill.

I turn my head away from my newfound enemy to face Mrs Appleton, desperation on my face.

"Mrs, please, I'm begging you, I'll do anything, just please don't make me share a room with that," I plead, vemon lacing from my tone.

There is no way in hell I'm going to share a room with a girl who's that cocky.

Mrs Appleton is about to speak, by is cutt of immediately by Mariam.

"Toh may kaunsa mar rahi hu tumharay saat room share karnay ke liye, bara aya," she begins, speaking some sort of jibberish I don't understand, "Mrs," she too turns to look at Mrs Appleton, "please, don't make me share with this Kamina, I'll do anything, anything at all," she pleads, attempting to pull off the puppy eyes look.

Key word being 'attempt.'

"But why? I mean, I see you guys already know each other, this could be a beautiful friendship," Mrs replies.

"Friends with him, no way!"

"Friends with her, never!"

Mariam and I turn to face each other, both glaring at the other.

"But, whatever is the reason?"

"He broke my nail!"

"Her head's too far up her arse!"

I turn to look at Mariam again, my eyes burning into her soul.

"Well, I'm sorry, but there's no more rooms and nobody else to share with. You'll just have to suck it up and share," Mrs Appleton concludes.

"But M-

"No but's," she finalizes, "now if you'll excuse me, I have to be checking on the other dorms too," and with that, Mrs Appleton turns around and walks away, leaving me and Mariam by ourselves.

Great. I guess I'll be rooming with Miss No-chill.

"Haan, haan ammi! Maine Aaloo kay parathay raaste mai hi khaaliyain thay, boht mazay kay thay!"

Sitting peacefully on my bed, I attempt to concentrate on my timetable as Mariam- very enthusiastically- speaks some more gibberish, this time on the phone.

After accepting that I had to share a dorm room with a brat, I went back over to my car and grabbed my things from the boot. I then brought them back over to my room and set everything in its place, as did Mariam.

We had decided that we'd split the room into two, so we both stay on our sides, however, there was only one toilet so we had to share.

That's the only thing we're ever sharing.

"Arey ammi, aap nahin jaanti, mujhe na, room share karna par raha hai, aur woh bhi ek kharus larkay kay saat." Mariam continues to speak into her phone in some kind of foreign language.

She pauses for a moment, and I begin to think her conversation is finally over, but then she begins speaking again.

"Aur aapko pata hai, us bandar nai to mera nakhoon bhi tordiya, aur uper sai, maafi maangnay kay bijai, mujpar ilzaam lagara tha!"

I internally groan as her talk only seems to be lengthening by the second.

"Oh ammi, aap fikar mat kare, yeh kamra pehle mera hi tha, aur yaha meri hi raj chale gi. Pakistani hoo mein, Pakistani, itni aasani seh use chooroo gee nahin mai, kabsa to mein hi karoo gi, dekhna!"

Ugh. If she's going to scream down my ear, can't she atleast do it in English?

"Haan, haan ammi, app meri fikar mat kare, me apna pura khayal rakho gee. Gee, sab ko mera salam bejhna. Khudafiz."

As if the universe sensed my discomfort and annoyance, Mariam comes to a halt, and I hear the familiar sound of something being placed down into a table.

Finally.

Slowly and carefully, I turn around and take a peek over my shoulder, only to find my not-so-kind room mate sitting peacefully on her bad, reading some kind of book.

Seriously? After destroying my peace with her phone speech, she's just casually chilling, reading a book.

Girls.

Ignoring my annoyance towards the-not going to lie- beautiful brown haired girl across the room from me, I turn back around and continue reading my time table.

Shame really, if her attitude was as pretty as her face, we could have got some kind of friendship going.

But no. Unfortunately, her ego's bigger than Big Ben itself.

A few minutes pass in mere silence, both of our presences undetectable due to our individual activities. A few more minutes pass and my peace is disturbed as I feel a light tap on my shoulder.

I knew it wouldn't last long.

Spinning my head around slowly, I come face to face with a sheepish-looking Mariam standing before me.

"What?" I raise my eyebrows suggestively.

Mariam starts picking at her fingers and looks around nervously, her mouth opening and shutting like a fish. I continue to wait patiently for an answer.

A few more seconds pass by, and still no answer. I am about to repeat myself when Mariam literally bursts.

"Tum na, boht baray gaday ho, tumne mera nakhoon Tora!" She begins aggressively.

I scrunch my eyebrows up in confusion.

"Wha-

"Lekin May tumhe maaf karloo gee, sirf isiliye kyun kay mujhe dushman nahin bana nay."

"Hu-

"Aur yeh mat samajhna, ke hum ab dost hai, maine bas tumhe ma-

"What are you saying?" I cut her off as she shows no sign of stopping talking.

Mariam takes a breath through her nose before speaking. "Listen," she begins, " let's just forgive and forget. Ok? I get it, accidents happen, and because of one accident you made, my 60 dollar manicure got ruined."

"What the heck? I di-

"But it's ok, I forgive you. So, we cool?" Mariam raises her brows in anticipation, her right hand out in front of her.

Is she serious? Was that supposed to be some kind of lame ass attempt at an apology?

"My hand's getting tired, so......"

I look up to see Mariam waiting patiently.

Ugh. Despite how wrong she was, consodering my circumstances, it would be far better for me to make friends than enemies.

And with that thought in mind, I lift my hand up and place it in Mariam's.

"Yeah, we're cool." I say, forcing a smile into my face.

"Thank Allah!" She breathes a huge sigh of relief, "woh kya hai nah, mujhe dushman bana na bilkul nahin pasand hai!" She continues.

I raise my eyebrows up in bewilderment- an amused smile on my features, and Mariam soon catches on as she facepalms herself, shaking her head profusely.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away there," she begins sheepishly, "I was saying, I don't like to make enemies, my mama says enemies hold you back, and I don't want an enemy to stop me in my pursuit of my dreams," she exclaims joyfully.

"Your mum is right," I chuckle amusedly, " just, please, let's keep a one language only rule. That language being English," I put emphasis on the word "English" to attempt to get my point across.

If I'm going to be living with her I would atleast like to understand what she's saying.

"Sorry," she apologises profusely, "woh kya hai na, jab me shuru hoti hoo, to automatically urdu bolna shuru hojati hoo," she says hurriedly.

I raise my eyebrow at her childlike nature and a look of realization dawns on her face. "Shit, see, I did it again," she mutters to herself as her palm hits her forehead.

The corners of my mouth wring up into a grin and I can't help but laugh at this crazy girl infront of me.

"Mariam, get some coffee, you need to get low."

"Look, I know that you're trying, bu-

My speech is cut off mid sentence as the man on the other side of the phone begins to speak. "I'm sorry, Brody, but you have to appreciate that we're trying our hardest, and-

"Well try harder!" I breath heavily as I attempt to call myself down.

"I'm sorry, ok. It's just, it's been a whole year, and still no sign of Natasha. It's just so discouraging."

"Brody, we know this must be hard for you. But I just want you to know that you shouldn't lose hope. The WBPD are doing everything in their power to find Natasha."

I sigh in despair.

"Please, just keep trying ok. This girl means the world to me, and I'd do anything to get her back," I plead solemnly.

After Natasha knocked me out cold on that dreadful night, I woke up only to find myself at the police station. My parents had gotten worried as I was not at home at the time I usually would be, and they had tracked my phone down to an abandoned factory in a remote place somewhere on the outskirts of town.

Now, obviously I didn't really want to involve the police because, after Natasha's 'confession,' I wanted to try and deal with things on my own. If everything she told me that night was true, then the involvement of police would only cause chaos, and untill I get down to the bottom of this myself, I couldn't allow someone whom I loved so dearly to be thrown mercilessly into jail.

There is nothing in this world that can justify murder, but, if there's a legible reason then I could understand. I would understand, because as much as I really want to hate Natasha, I have come to the verdict that I just can't.

Since my parents found me at the old abandoned factory, they called the police immediately. As much as I would've wanted them not too, there's not really much you can do when you see your son lying on the floor with his head dipped in a pool of his own blood.

Afterwards I was taken to the hospital to bandage my wounds, and then to the police station for questioning. They had asked me several times what had happened and each time I said the same thing. I was on my way out of town to meet a friend from my old school, got lost on my way and somehow ended up stumbling into this factory and I slipped and hit my head. Now, that may not be the most convincing story, however, it wouldn't exactly be smart to question a boy who'd just been found with a cracked head.

Eventually, they had believed my story and let me go, deeming the incident as an accident.

And, a few hours later, upon learning that her daughter had been missing for more than a day, a very worried Miss Pearson called 911 and filed a missing report. And ever since then, to this day, Natasha remains unfound. And the case goes on.

I didn't want the police to know, but, there was nothing I could do. So I took Brooks' number. Brooks worked at the WBPD and he is the only person there who is actually taking the case seriously. Everyone else had just given up after two months, declaring Natasha dead.

Brooks believes what I believe, until there is any evidence to prove Natasha isn't Alive, she's alive.

He calls me whenever he can to update me on the case, but there's still no progress.

"Hello, Brody, you there?" Brooks' voice from the other side of the phone cuts off my trail of thoughts.

"Yeah," I reply as I sigh heavily.

"I said, we're still trying our hardest, we won't give up. Untill we have any evidence to prove Natasha is dead, we're going to continue looking for her," he attempts to reassure me.

"I know, thaks Brooks, for everything you're doing," forgetting for a moment that I'm on the phone, a grateful smile makes it's way onto my face.

"Hang in there, Brody."

"I will," and with those final words, I heard the other end of the line go dead, and silence clouds the air.

I have full trust in Brooks and on his experience, but I wouldn't ever have been at peace if I didn't do anything to try to locate Natasha.

For the past year I've been following leads, finding clues and investigating, and so far, I've found nothing of major importance. 

Harvard is my dream college. Alongside my education, I will be looking for Natasha. Because I can't sit around and do nothing.

I just can't.

"Toh, kisko doondna hai?" I groan in annoyance as a very familiar voice chirps from behind me.

"How many times have I told you, English!"

"Oh shit yeah, sorry," she apologises, not really sounding as sorry as she claims to be.

"It's fine, j-

"So who's the girl, is she your girlfriend?"

"What, w-

"Or is she an ex?"

"Just st-

"Omg no, she's a whore isn't she?"

"No! Wh-

"She's a whore who cheated on you and vanished and you can't get over her right? Listen it's f-

"Stop talking for one fucking second!" I shout, rage coursing through my body.

How dare she speak about Natasha that way?

"Listen Brody, it's fine. Girls like that, they just want a good fuck , but you shouldn't be on the hunt for sluts like that, just le-

"Shut the fuck up!" My loud voice booms through the whole room, blazing with fury.

A thick smoke of silence begins to surround us, until I decide to break it.

"Who even are you to interfere in my life? Now I can't even make a phone call without you pestering me? You are nobody to me, we're not friends, we're not even acquaintances, so who gave to the fucking right to speak about someone I love in that way? You are pathetic, a horrendous excuse for a human being. Keep your foul words to your fucking self and stay the heck out of my life. You're just a stupid girl who I'm being forced to share a room with, nothing else."

Mariam flinches and takes a step away from me, an expression of fear plastered all over her face. Her eyes start to become glossy and it is then that I realise what I just said.

This isn't me.

Since when have I ever disrespected someone in such a way? Since when did I turn so mean?

Angry at myself and confused at my behaviour, I turn away from the small girl standing in front of me and make my way over to the door.

Turning the doorknob, I hurriedly make my way out of there.

Only one question lingered on my mind.

When did I turn into such a monster?

Translations for the urdu:

"Haan, haan ammi! Maine Aaloo kay parathay raaste mai hi khaaliyain thay, boht mazay kay thay!" - Yes, yes Mom, I ate the parathas on the way here, they were really nice!

"Arey ammi, aap nahin jaanti, mujhe na, room share karna par raha hai, aur woh bhi ek kharus larkay kay saat." Gosh Mum, you have no idea, I have to share a room, and that too with a moody guy.

"Aur aapko pata hai, us bandar nai to mera nakhoon bhi tordiya, aur uper sai, maafi maangnay kay bijai, mujpar ilzaam lagara tha!"- And you know what, that monkey even broke my nail, and instead of apologising, he was blaming me!

"Oh ammi, aap fikar mat kare, yeh kamra pehle mera hi tha, aur yaha meri hi raj chale gi. Pakistani hoo mein, Pakistani, itni aasani seh use chooroo gee nahin mai, kabsa to mein hi karoo gi, dekhna!"- Oh Mom, don't you worry, this room was mine first, and I will rule here. I'm Pakistani, Pakistani, I won't let him go so easily, just you watch, I will take over.

"Haan, haan ammi, app meri fikar mat kare, me apna pura khayal rakho gee. Gee, sab ko mera salam bejhna. Khudafiz."- Yes, yes Mom, don't you worry about me, I'll take full care of my self. Say hi to every one for me, bye.

"Tum na, boht baray gaday ho, tumne mera nakhoon Tora!"- You're such a donkey, you broke my nail.

"Lekin May tumhe maaf karloo gee, sirf isiliye kyun kay mujhe dushman nahin bana nay."- but, I'll forgive you, just because I don't want to make enemies.

"Aur yeh mat samajhna, ke hum ab dost hai, maine bas tumhe ma- And don't think that now we're friends, I've just-

"Woh kya hai na, jab me shuru hoti hoo, to automatically urdu bolna shuru hojati hoo- The thing is, once I start, I automatically start talking urdu.

"Toh, kisko doondna hai?- So, who are you looking for?

A/N

Heyyyyy guyss

I'm so so so sorry for this extremely late update, this four month hiatus was totally unplanned .

College started and A levels are just so hard and I literally just had like zero time to write. I also had a bad case of writers block, and I was just extemelu unmotivated. However, I have got everything back on track now, so I can assure you I won't ever disappear for that long again. First year exams are in May, so I will be revising for those, but I will still update.

Thank you guys so much for being so patient with me, and again I'm so sorry. Expect another update very soon though.

Much love,

Ari ❤