Dear Gusion Paxley,

Hi.

Uhm, I honestly have many things to say, but I don't know where to start. I don't even know why I am writing this letter though I don't have any plans of giving this to you. I just wanna vent out my feelings, it feels heavy because nobody knows what I really feel and I don't want anyone to know about this.

Maybe, I'll just start from the very beginning.

When I followed my little brother Harley here in the Land of Dawn, I just watched him from afar. Are you familiar with the myth of anyone who's inflicted with the magic of the magician would also be struck with a black bullet? Yes, that's us, until he discovered that I was following him so he insisted that I should be with them instead of following him from afar.

Harley is so dear to me. After the assassination of my father, he was the only who can cheer me up as I was the only one who can put him under control for he was a very stubborn one.

I am a quiet person, introvert is maybe the right term. Yes, I talk to all heroes but that's when they start the conversation. I can say that I am not really close to them, even to you.

I was once a cheerful child, you know. But everything has changed after my father's death. The moment I picked up my father's rifle that night, the moment I hit the last assassin who invaded the Vance household, everything in me became gloomy. Like everything was black and white– dull.

But then, there's you. You always approach me even my little brother threatened you. You always do the talking, though I don't speak frequently and seemed that I don't have any interest at all. But honestly, my day wouldn't feel complete if you don't talk to me. I'm always eager to hear your stories– about your family, how you practice your swordsmanship, how rebellious you are, your adventures during your travel here in the Land of Dawn and so much more. I keep it all in my mind, Gusion. I paid attention to all the details that you have said.

There are many female heroes here, of course, you were paired to some of them. What's funny is, I am jealous. I know I don't have the right because who am I to you? I'm just a friend, at least I assume that's what you think of me.

Especially these past few weeks, I've been rarely picked for the battles so I rarely have the chance to be in the same team with you. Angela was always picked along side with you. I admit, the two of you are the best duo in the team. Angela can use her ultimate to you during clash so you can get multiple kills without dying. She can heal you, she can help you. And you always protect her once her ultimate is done to let her escape.

I know, I sound ridiculous right now. But I can't help it. It's just a battle, yes. But many heroes out there are shipping the two of you. I always pretend that I didn't hear it when they say you look cute together, you look perfect together, that you are the best duo here in the Land of Dawn. Ah, it feels like someone is squeezing my heart so hard that it hurts. And oh, I'm sorry that this part of paper got wet from my tears. I'm suppresing my sobs, I'm afraid that Harley might hear me.

I have to stop writing for a while because I keep on crying. I'm sorry. It just hurt me so much. I can't bear it anymore.

This thing they called love, I thought it is a happy feeling like what they say but in reality it is so painful, especially that my love for you is one sided.

Oh, you don't have to feel pity for me. Don’t ever feel that okay? I am fine, I am always fine. Now that I wrote all my feelings here, I am fine. Don't worry. You don't have to blame yourself.

You didn't do anything wrong okay? The one who should be blamed is me. Because I let myself fall for you, even though I know there's no chance of us being together. Because I let you enter my heart, knowing that you will never love me. Because I let you enter my life, knowing that I don't know how to express my feelings right, knowing that I am fated to be alone. Though I have Harley, my adopted parents, I know that someday they will all leave me.

Gusion, you don't have to talk to me always like you do. How can you find the one for you if you are wasting your time to me? Oh maybe, Angela is already your soulmate, isn't it time for you to spend time together? You don't have to worry about me. I can manage okay?

Just let me love you, even though from the distance.

I love you Gusion, always.

Loving you,
Lesley Vance