Just scribbling some words in my scratch papers here in the office when I constructed such a painful line. HAHAHA.

Ready your hearts everyone. Or it's just me. HAHAHA

~~~~~

"Okay." Was the last thing he replied.

Lesley let out a bitter laugh upon reading Gusion's text.

"That's it?" Lesley said fantastically, "How come it became my fault? Didn't he understand a thing with what I just said?"

She closed her phone and threw it on her bed while she flopped on it. She decided not to reply anymore since replying would just prolong their fight.

She let out a long sigh, staring at the ceiling of her room.

It was her birthday tomorrow, but unfortunately, they wouldn't be able to celebrate it together.

They were in a sort of long distance relationship. It would take five hours of travel.

She wanted to visit him tomorrow but she had a rough week. She was too drained and stressed this week and she wanted to rest. So she told Gusion that she wouldn't be able to visit him tomorrow– like she always did these past few weeks.

Yes. It was always her who made efforts to visit him every week.

She knew Gusion was kind of sad when she told him that.

But couldn't he at least, visit me here? Why it would always be me? Lesley asked herself.

Not that she was counting the efforts, but she could feel that if she couldn't do one thing for him, he would always be cold towards her.

Why he couldn't understand me? I have feelings too. Did he even considered mine? She thought while tears were now streaming from her face. Why it should always be about him?

She had given him everything she could, she understood him in every way she could, she had done everything for him–

And she felt all of them weren't enough.

She even sacrificed some of her social life since he was too jealous of her colleagues. She tried to do everything to please him that she almost given up most of things just for him.

Lesley was sobbing now as she couldn't help herself. It was too painful. She was sorry to herself.

"I'm sorry, self." She apologized to herself then smiled bitterly. "It's saddening that I forgot how to love myself in the process of loving him."

~~~~~

Ah, that last line breaks me.