omg something that isnt taka ???

My autistic mess of a self made something that isnt taka im so proud *wipes tear* /j

Mondo: Something's off.
Daiya: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Mondo: No, but that's funny.

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Daiya: You spent all our fucking money on THIS??
Mondo, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

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Daiya: What is wrong with you?
Mondo: Loaded question. Elaborate.

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Mondo: Daiya, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the fucking doctor. Or even one of the gang members, please.
Daiya: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

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Mondo: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
Daiya: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

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Mondo: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Daiya: And you came to me?

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Daiya: What's wrong with you?
Mondo: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

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Mondo: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.
Daiya: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

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Daiya: Remember what I told you?
Mondo: Don't be a cunt.
Daiya: And what did you do?
Mondo: Punch a cunt.

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Daiya: What's your favorite color?
Mondo: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature.
Daiya: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP?
Mondo: My favorite color is pink.

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Mondo: Daiya is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Daiya: The best part is you never know when they're coming.

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Mondo: I can never give Daiya shit because I'm jealous of them. They look at their life and say, "Sweet! This is perfect!"
Mondo: I look at my life and say, "Welp. Time to get drunk."

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Mondo: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!
Daiya: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

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Mondo: Daiya taught me to think before I act.
Mondo: ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

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Mondo: Everything's fine, Daiya.
Daiya: Mondo, I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT'S NOT FINE.

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Mondo: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Daiya: What the hell do you do?
Mondo: I die? What kinda question...

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Mondo to Daiya: We smell of sweat and loss.

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Daiya: You know what's funny about Mondo? They're my best friend, and anyone who'd hurt them is someone I'd murder, probably.

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Daiya: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.
Daiya: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.
Mondo: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?
Daiya: Ominous positivity.

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Mondo: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Daiya: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

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Mondo: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Daiya: What changed your mind?
Mondo: Oh, I still think you're a bitch, I've just grown to like that about you.

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Mondo: If I run and leap at Daiya, they will most certainly catch me in their arms.
Mondo, running towards Daiya: Coming in!
Daiya: No! I'm holding coffee!
Daiya: *Drops coffee and catches Mondo*

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Mondo: Daiya! I thought you were dead!
Daiya: No, just in deep cover.
Mondo: ...But it was an open casket.
Daiya: It was very deep.

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Daiya: State your name, rank, and intention.
Mondo: Mondo, Mondo, fun.

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Mondo: *plays shreksophone*
Mondo: Woo.
Mondo: Time to listen to this on loop for all eternity.
Daiya: ...Genius coping mechanism my friend.

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Daiya, texting Mondo: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater...
Mondo′s phone, auto-replying: I'm driving right now–I'll get back to you later.
*Later*
Mondo, texting back: Fuck you.

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Mondo: You disgust me.
Daiya: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don't care.

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Daiya: >:)
Mondo: >:(
Daiya: Turn that frown upside down!
Mondo: ):<
Daiya: Not sure what I was expecting...

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Daiya: You remind me of the ocean.
Mondo: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Daiya: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

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Daiya: I can't take you seriously wearing that.
Mondo: Aw, you take me seriously at all?
Daiya: Fair point.

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Mondo: Hey Daiya, I've got an idea for how to solve this.
Daiya, pulling out a shotgun: Yeah?
Mondo: Wh- No! That's not the idea, Daiya!

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Mondo: What are you drinking?
Daiya: Vodka.
Mondo: Straight?
Daiya: No, gay. Why?

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Daiya: Mondo, I need some advice.
Mondo: You need advice from ME?
Daiya: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

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Mondo, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?!
Daiya, standing in front of Mondo: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen*
Mondo, crying: Please...stop...

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Mondo: *nudges Daiya at 3am* Pretty fucked up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Daiya? Wake up, Daiya! Listen! They're sexless!
Daiya: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.

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Daiya: Damn, the power went out.
Mondo: Don't worry, I got this.
Mondo: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
Daiya: What-?
Mondo: I swallowed a glow stick!
Daiya, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

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Mondo: Ow!
Daiya: What's wrong?
Mondo: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.
Daiya: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

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Daiya: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.
Mondo: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.
Daiya: Th-that's not how that works-

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Daiya: I drink to forget but I always remember.
Mondo: You're drinking orange juice.

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Mondo: Here you go, Daiya, a nice hot cup of coffee!
Daiya: It's cold.
Mondo: A nice cup of coffee.
Daiya: It's horrible!
Mondo: Cup of coffee.
Daiya: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.
Mondo: C U P.

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Daiya: Mondo, no.
Mondo: Mondo, yes.

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Daiya: How are you today?
Mondo: Please don't make me think about my life.

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Mondo: You believe me?
Daiya: Mondo, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds did your pompadour this morning.

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Mondo, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Daiya : *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Daiya :
Daiya : It's perfume.

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Mondo: You... you saved me. You're not a beast at all. YOU'RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO!
Daiya : Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.

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Mondo: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?
Mondo: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Daiya .

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Daiya : That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Mondo?
Mondo: No.
Daiya : I think I speak for Mondo when I say it sounds really super.

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Mondo: My life is a mess.
Daiya : Mondo relax, go get a beer.
Mondo: I don't want a beer.
Daiya Who said it was for you?

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Daiya : Mondo isn't talking to me.
The gang (tm): Enjoy it while it lasts.

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Daiya , digging their grave: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?

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Daiya: Life could be worse, Mondo.
Mondo: Life could be a lot better too!

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Crazy Diamonds (tm): Is Mondo always like this when they lose?
Daiya: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015.
Mondo: You bumped that table and you know it!

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Daiya: You're mean!
Mondo: You're meaner!
Daiya: Yeah, well, you're ugly too!
Mondo: You're uglier!
Daiya: You're a dumbass!
Mondo: You're a dumberass!
Daiya: You think "dumberass" is a good insult!

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Mondo: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Daiya: A horrible decision, really.

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Daiya: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Mondo: Um, make lemonade?
Daiya: No, they squeeze them right back into life's eyes!

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Mondo: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Daiya: Your life?
Mondo: I- well yes, but-

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Daiya: I am going to need you to swear-
Mondo: Fuck.
Daiya:
Daiya: ...swear as in promise.

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Daiya: You know, Mondo, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.
Mondo: ...
Mondo: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

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Daiya: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?
Mondo: Technically a mix of green and blue?
Daiya: So blurple.
Mondo: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.
Daiya: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?
Mondo: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

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Daiya: I wasn't that drunk.
Mondo: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Daiya: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

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Daiya: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Mondo: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

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Daiya, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.
Mondo: Do you think other people can't hear you?

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Mondo: What's this?
Daiya, hugging Mondo: Affection!
Mondo: Disgusting.
Mondo: ...Do it again.

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Daiya: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

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Mondo: How would you like your coffee?
Daiya: As dark as my soul.
Mondo: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

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Mondo: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Daiya, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Daiya: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

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Mondo: Could you be anymore annoying?
Daiya: Yes.

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1542 words!

not as long as usual bc Mondo and Daiya are hard to find quotes for when we dont know much about Daiya sooooo