I went back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me. I did not want to tell him that. It was my problem and it was my job to cope with this on my own. I laid on my back into the bed and rested my arms on my face. I was angry, not at Jace, but at myself because I began to trust a stranger. I took a deep breath and again heard a knock. Like a puppy Jace followed anywhere I went. He came in.

Jace: "Kalia, I am sorry if I offended you or was too harsh."

He sat down next to me onto the bed.

Kalia: "No worries. Just don't ask me anything about that again. I don't want you to get involved."

Jace: "Okay, I understand. But thank you."

Kalia: "For what?"

Jace: "For telling me about it."

I did not answer again.

Jace: "I'll let you alone. You can come to me or Alec anytime."

I nodded, the arms still on my face. When I heard that he left I got up. I hated myself for trusting Jace. I got another book and sat down on the floor next to the window this time. The only refuge I had were the lines and words in the book.

Some hours later it knocked again and some seconds  later Jace took a look inside.

Jace: "Can I come in?"

I nodded and laid the book next to me.

Jace: "Oh I love that book."

He was able to read? Wow, didn't expect that. He kneeled in front of me and pulled a pear out of his jackets pocket.

Jace: "You need to eat something. Your stomach is empty."

He actually got me with the pear. Fruits were my favourite food. I didn't like any food on earth more than that. I still shook my head. He could have poisoned it. But for my surprise he pulled a dull knife out of another pocket and began to cut it.

Jace: "It makes me sad to see that you don't have trust in anyone. I don't know what you have been through but it's over now. No one will hurt, poison, kill or torture you."

He took a slice and ate it. No poison. Then he grabbed another piece and held it towards my face. I turned my face away and closed my eyes.

Jace: "It's okay. Come on, just one piece. I'll go then. But I won't leave until you ate at least a little bit. I am worried about you."

'I am worried about you.' Haven't heard that sentence in ages but it felt good. My eyes were still closed and my head turned away.

Kalia: "Why?"

Jace: "Because you are a powerful girl that went through hell even though she did not deserve it. And I want you to feel better. I want you to live again."

Just now I realized that he had a calm and deep, soothing voice. He grabbed onto my chin and turned it, forcing me to face to him.

Jace: "Open your eyes."

I did what he told me. Again those amazing eyes. I wish I could have slammed my head onto a wall right now. Don't I dare to start having emotions. With his other hand he still held onto the piece of pear, near my face. This look, so questioning and actually worried. I took the slice into my hand and held it. He smiled.

Jace: "Holding it won't help, you are supposed to eat it."

He pulled his hand away and my chin became ice-cold immediately. Why did I want his hand to get back? What is wrong with me? What is this and how can I stop this? I took a bite. The pear was fresh, sweet and juicy. I missed that taste.

Jace. "Look, not that bad. I'm glad you tried it. I'll leave the rest on the desk and let you alone again. Seems like you are busy reading between the lines." He grinned.

I didn't want him to go but I could not admit it. I formed the word 'stay' on my tongue but it would not leave my mouth. Just like as he read my mind he grinned even more.

Jace: "Nah, I guess I will stay a little longer."

I smiled slightly.

Jace: "You should smile more often. Suits you."

We began to laugh. His laugh was beautiful. We sat down onto the bed and Jace told me some things about his family. That his parents died early, and he grew up with Alec and his sister. He was a shadowhunter his entire life.

Jace: "Have you been a shadowhunter for long or..." He stopped talking. "Oh sorry, forgot. I'm not asking that."

Kalia: "No, it's okay." I mean, he told me something about him too. I needed to give something back. "I am a shadowhunter for two years now. I grew up as a mundane in Hungary. My parents left the institute when my bigger brother was born. They wanted to keep us save."

Jace: "I've heard the stories about that institute. Cruel things. They researched what influence demons had on mundanes and broke the accords. Many mundanes got killed. The clave destroyed it. Well, at least we thought that."

Kalia: "Most of the institute is destroyed. It's a pretty big ruin. But there's still some left. They recruited new members. Mostly shadowhunters that left. They all came back. Some become fighters and some became test objects for their experiments."

Jace: "Like you?"

I nodded.

Jace: "What did they do?" He looked me directly into the eyes. A shiver ran down my spine.

Kalia: "They tested new runes."

I held my shirt up and revealed the dark tattoos on my stomach and waist. Jace came a bit closer, closing the distance between us. I wanted to flinch back but didn't. He placed his hand slowly and soft onto the runes. Normally it hurt when someone touched them but this time it didn't.

Jace: "I've never seen those. What are they for?"

He touched every single rune and I explained it to him.

Kalia: "This one allows me to give all of my energy to someone else. If I give too much, I die. This one is the reason why an iratze does not work. Some of the normal angelic runes get blocked by this one. With activating that rune I can show you all my thoughts. It builds up a mental connection between two people. This one gives me nightmares every time I fall asleep or faint. There is not a way to stop it. I just sleep three to four hours every night. Well, you know what that rune does. It lets me control the demons. They listen to my orders and words. And this one is more complicated."

Jace: "Tell me about it, please."

Kalia: "It's a rune between two people. It's about pain. The one person gives it, the other person takes it. I need to take it. The other rune is carried by a shadowhunter in the institute back in Siberia. From time to time when he feels angry or when he's bored he sends me pain through the rune."

Jace: "That's horrible."

He let his hand rest on the rune and didn't move it.

The runes are invented by me and actually mean what they are supposed to mean. I know they don't look that pretty. I'm not good in drawing but I wanted to include them.