I was patrolling late at night, finding two vampires leaving the cemetery. I punched Vampire 1 in the face twice, spinning to kick him in the chest. Vampire 2 grabbed me from behind. I twisted out of his grip, using his arm to flip him to the ground. Vampire 1 jumped to try to punch me. I raised an arm to block the hit, backhand punching him in the face, kicking him in the chest, pushing him face first against the gate of the cemetery, making him fall. Vampire 2 tried to punch me. I caught his arm, twisting it behind him back, punching him in the back of the head. Vampire 2 spun free of the restraint, trying to punch me. I blocked both hits, punching him in the chest, spinning Vampire 2 around to try and stake him in the chest from behind, getting distracted when I saw Spike sitting on top of the gate and holding Vampire 1 dangling in the air so he didn't get away. Spike smiled. Vampire 1 took the distraction to break free, pushing me back. I kicked him in the chest and the face twice, making him fall. 

"How ya doing?" Spike asked.

I sighed, giving a halfhearted look for distracting me during a hunt. "Oh, fine. You know, same old, same old."

"Yeah, I could take care of this guy if you want," Spike told me.

"Whatever," I told him, kicking Vampire 1 to the ground again. "Your call."

Spike shrugged. "I mean, sure, he don't look like much, but I'd wager he could give you a bit of nasty." Vampire 1 jumped up to try to attack me. I spun out of the way, punching him in the face. "Save you the staking. All you gotta do is..."

I pushed Vampire 1 to the ground, kneeling next to him. "Buffy's gonna end up telling our friends about us if we don't stop seeing each other."

"And you're not willing to stop just because of that little threat, are you?" Spike asked. I tilted my head. Spike smirked in amusement. "Oh, I see. You think that maybe it's time they know, but you don't know how to tell them yourself."

"Buffy wants to tell them so badly?" I asked. "She can go ahead." I staked Vampire 1 in the heart, making him explode into dust over the ground, standing, walking toward Spike. "Buffy tried to kill her friends, my sister and mother last week. And guess how much we all hate her? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking that if they can deal with that, they can deal with this. If not?" I shrugged. "I can deal with that, too."

I turned to walk away.

Vampire 2 struggled to get free, landing on his feet, running toward me. I turned to face him to prepare to fight.

"In that case, why don't we head back to my crypt and we can deal together?" Spike asked suggestively, smiling.

Vampire 2 stopped completely from shock, turning to look at Spike. "Huh?"

I took his distraction to stake him in the heart from behind without having to fight, letting him fall to dust. I looked at Spike, tilting my head, which only made him smile.

   ~~~~~~ 

The next day on Mom's day off, Mom, Dawn and I were walking down a mall street around so that we could have a family day and shop.

And talk about which stores that Dawn stole from so that we could fix it.

"Okay, how about this store?" Mom asked.

"Ah, three pairs of earrings, a coin purse and a toothbrush," Dawn answered.

"You stole a toothbrush?" I asked dubiously.

"A mother of pearl handle," Dawn told us defensively. "Very fancy."

"Yeah, but you stole a toothbrush," I told her. "As far as rebellious teenagers go, you're kinda square."

Dawn smiled. "Dental hygiene is important."

"Guess this was of a lame family day out, huh?" Mom asked. "We make up for lost time that we don't spend with you by taking you to places you can't go in."

"No, it's my bad," Dawn told us. "I'm the one that got caught taking stuff."

Mom pointed to a pet store down the way. "Hey, how about the pet store? You didn't take anything from there, did you?"

"A pocket of goldfish," Dawn told us sarcastically. "It didn't work out." Mom didn't know if she was being serious or not, just looking at Dawn, making both me and Dawn laugh. "No."

Mom smiled. "Okay, good. We can go, and we can look at all the puppies."

"Eh, it's so awful," Dawn told us. "There's puppy mills, and keeping them in cages, and--and people poking at them all day."

"Yeah, but puppies, cute," Mom told us. "Come on, you guys used to love the pet store."

"Yes, back when Dawn was in her fives and sixes," I told her teasingly. Mom looked disappointed, then realized that we were messing with her again, tilting her head at us. Dawn and I smiled. "Come on, we'll go look." 

Dawn looked around. "Besides, I don't think there's anther store here where I can... show my face."

"It'll pass," Mom told her. "You've returned all the stuff that you still had, and we're paying for the rest."

We looked at each other, smiling.

   ~~~~~~ 

We got back home, in the kitchen.

Mom was making a big breakfast, with big pancakes, two places settings, bowls of fruit, four bottles of syrup. 

"Uh, did we open a chain?" I asked. "Are we the International House of something?"

"Nope," Mom answered. "We got home early, and it felt like a breakfast kind of morning." 

"Yeah, but it's almost noon," Dawn told her.

Mom shrugged. "Okay, brunch. I don't know." Dawn and I smiled. "Okay, what kind of syrup do you want on your pancakes?"

Dawn looked amazed. "Syrups have kinds?"

"Oh, also, you know, I was thinking," Mom told us, turning away to put the pan in the sink. "After the mall this morning, maybe we--we shouldn't go out tonight, you know, maybe we could stay in and, uh..." She took toast from the toaster. "Ow. Um, you know, get pizza or, uh, rent a movie?"

"Mom, you are almost never like this when you have a day off," I told her. "What got into you?"

"Everything that's been happening lately," Mom answered. "Yes, Dawn, we are sorry that we haven't been around as much due to our line of works." Dawn nodded in understanding. Mom looked between us. "And we've all made some choices that we've never really made before that have different outcomes. Some bad and some good. And whatever you choose, I will find a way to make it better for both of you."

"Oh, my God, did Zoey steal something too?" Dawn asked teasingly.

I pushed Dawn lightly toward the counter, making her laugh.

Mom smiled. "No, Dawn, she didn't. It's just this thing she's been going through that some might call wrong or might call right. I'm just saying that I stand by whatever her choice is, and I will make it feel better for her."

"Does this have to do with coming back from the dead, or does it have to do with Slayer stuff?" Dawn asked.

I sighed, smirking a little bit. "Little of both."

Dawn wrapped her arm around my shoulder in a hug. "I stand by you. Like Mom."

"You don't even know what we're talking about," I told her.

"I don't have to," Dawn told me. "I probably don't want to, either. 'Cause if it's Slayer stuff or resurrection stuff, it's probably gory." We all chuckled. Dawn seemed to get an idea. "Oh, hey, Zoey, since Mom is usually working the same time that you're out patrolling, maybe I could go with you. Why don't I come patrolling with you tonight?"

I nodded sarcastically. "Oh. And then? Maybe we can invite over some strangers and ask them to feed you candy."

"Well, you guys went out patrolling every night when you were my age," Dawn told me.

"True, but technically, you're one-and-a-half," Mom told her. Dawn gave her patented adolescent exasperated look. "See, I thought a little levity might... but okay, also no."

"I just--I just think I could help," Dawn told us.

"I'm sure you could," Mom told her. "But it's a little more dangerous than we had in mind."

"But--" Dawn started.

I sighed. "Dawn. We work very hard to keep you away from that stuff. Okay, we don't want you around dangerous things that can kill you."

"Which would be a perfectly reasonable argument, if my sister was chosen to protect the world from tax audits, or if she was a doctor like our mom," Dawn told me. "But, see, my sister is you, and dangerous things that want to kill me seem to find me."

"But you don't need to go looking for them," Mom told her. Dawn gave us a pleading look. "Now eat up. You're gonna be late for school."

Mom turned back to the stove.

Dawn and I sat down, starting to eat, and though we turned her down about patrolling, Dawn still seemed happy that we were all hanging out today, even if she had to go to school right after school.

   ~~~~~~ 

After school, Dawn, Mom and I were sitting at home.

Anya had come to find us.

I hugged Anya. "Oh, my God. You're back."

"We've been so worried," Mom told her.

We pulled away, sitting down.

"Yeah, sorry," Anya told us. "I needed to, you know... I couldn't stay here. Not after... everything that happened."

"No, no, no, we--we totally understand," Mom told her.

"But you're back now, right?" Dawn asked.

"It's complicated," Anya told us, sighing. "You know, there's a lot to deal with."

"Well, if there's anything we can do..." I trailed off. "Just let us..."

"Actually, um, there is an eensy something I could use a little help with," Anya told us. "Let's talk about Xander."

"He feels awful," I told her.

"You think it's anywhere close to what I feel?" Anya asked.

"No," I answered. "But--"

"What if it were you, Layla?" Anya asked. "What if... all you dreamed about was that magical day? The day when the one person you loved with all your soul would promise to cherish and protect your heart for the rest of his life, but instead he shatters it into a million jagged pieces?"

"You forget that I was married," Mom told her.

"Right," Anya agreed. "Rockstar dad that took off to bang his groupies." We gave her an incredulous look. "So, Layla, if you could make a wish about both your ex-husband and Xander, would you wish that their penises would coagulate?"

"I never use that word anymore," Dawn told her.

"Coagulate?" Anya asked.

"W-i-s-h," Dawn answered.

"Oh, wish," Anya told us. "As in 'I wish Xander'--"

"Right, that word," Dawn told her. "There's vengeance demons out there that are still active, remember?"

"Yeah, so we came up with a new house rule, whenever it comes to stuff like that," I told her. "No saying 'I wish', because any 'I wish' could totally end in horrible grossness."

"Give me a for instance?" Anya asked.

"I don't really think we should," Mom told her.

"Did I mention the whole 'left at the alter' thing?" Anya asked. "Didn't leave that out, did I?"

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "Look, I--I know what he did was wrong. God, if it happened to me, I... I--I... it must have been torture."

"Okay, let's talk about torture," Anya told us excitedly. Dawn looked very dubious. Anya looked at Dawn. "So, tell me more about wishing Xander's brains and guts would go blooey."

"I didn't say that," Dawn told her.

"Yes, you did," Anya told her.

"No, I didn't," Dawn told her.

"I heard you," Anya told her.

"I swear, I didn't say that," Dawn told her.

"Didn't say what?" Anya asked.

"Um... can we just talk to you about working off Dawn's debt?" Mom asked. "You know, her whole sticky fingers grabby hands thing?"

"Oh, right, the mad thieving," Anya remembered. "Good, yes, there's much to do." She pointed at Dawn with a mock stern voice. "I'm gonna put you to work, missy." Dawn, Mom and I just looked dubiously at her. "So, back to Xander's brains and guts... squish squish squish. Guys have been running roughshod over you for years. Torturing that perky little tickers. Aren't you sick of it? Don't you wish guys like that--"

"Whoa, guys?" I asked. "There have only been three--two. Two. Two guys, for me. That's barely plural."

"Well, I'm talking about Oz, Graham and your dad," Anya told us. "And didn't each of them rip your hearts out? Don't men like that, as to pick an example, Xander, deserve to be punished?"

"Anya, I know you're hurting, but--" Mom started.

"What?" Anya asked. "Xander doesn't deserve to suffer for what he did 'cause he's your friend, and I'm not, right? I get it."

"No, that's not what we're saying at all," Mom told her. "What he did was wrong. He knows that."

Anya was very upset. "It just--it hurts. He hurt me so much."

I stood. "He really did." I put a hand on Anya's arm. "Look, I--I'm sorry."

Xander knocked on the door before walking inside. "Anya?"

Anya stood angrily. "Well, congratulations. They all still love you. Even after what you did to me."

Anya stormed out of the house.

Xander followed Anya outside, so Mom, Dawn and I ran after them, looking at the garden gnomes outside as Anya ran past.

Xander started to follow. "Anya, wait."

I stopped him. "Okay. Not--not crazy about that idea."

"What are you doing?" Xander asked. "I have to go after her."

"Or, in the land of the sane, you could give her some space, let her cool down," I told her.

"That's not Proactive Guy," Xander told us, starting to pace. "That's Sit Around And Watch the Rest of Your Life to Turn to Crap Guy."

"True, uh, but at least Crap Guy gets to keep all his appendages," Dawn told him.

"And I'm supposed to what?" Xander asked. "Wlk away? Shouldn't be too hard. It's what I'm good at, right?"

Xander kicked out in frustration, smashing one of the garden gnomes.

"Okay, see, that's exactly why a heart to heart is probably not your best course of action right now," Mom told her.  "When you're both angry and upset and... what the hell is that creepy little thing doing in our yard?"

Dawn and I walked toward the broken bits of the gnome, kneeling down to look at it.

"Did you guys put that there when I was dead?" I asked. "'Cause if I had known, I would have crawled out of the grave sooner to--"

"Zoey..." Dawn trailed off, pulling out a tiny camera out of under the pieces of the broken gnome. "Oh, my God."

"Looks like someone's been keeping an eye on all your ins and outs," Xander told me.

"What the who?" I asked.

"Well, now, let's see," Xander told me. "Who's obsessed with Zoey? Who likes to hang out in her yard and keep an eye on her? Who's in love with you and not getting any?"

Mom and I exchanged a look, because of what Xander didn't know, neither of us believing that Spike put this here.

   ~~~~~~ 

I went to talk to Spike in the crypt with the camera, showing it to him. Spike and I were both drinking a bottle.

"What's this?" Spike asked.

"It's a camera," I answered with honest sarcasm, taking a drink.

"Yeah, I got that part," Spike told me. "Why am I holding it?"

"Someone was using it to spy on me, on my house," I answered. "Xander thinks it's you."

Spike mocked a gasp. "Oh, the great Xander thinks so. Shudder gasp. It must be true."

I tilted my head at him. "Spike--"

"That ponce has always had it for me," Spike told me. "Every chance he gets, he sticks it--"

"I know that it wasn't you," I told him.

"Oh, do you now?" Spike asked, looking relieved. "You know that I don't want to hurt you."

"I know," I told him. "My mom even knows that you wouldn't do this, not even you."

"Oh, so Layla even believes in me, does she?" Spike asked, taking a drink.

I chuckled. "So she had Buffy and Willow come over so that the rest of the Scoobies could trace the cameras back to whoever it came from. We think that the geek trio's behind it, because there's more than just one camera, not just at my house, but at Buffy's, too. And I came here so that I could tell you."

"That's not the real reason you came over, is it?" Spike asked. I looked away, chuckling slightly, drinking more. Spike paced around, drinking while he was pacing. "I see it, you know. The reactions I get from you whenever I'm around. The subtle nervousness that you can hardly tell. The way you glow." I smiled a little bit, biting my lip. "I don't know how much clearer I can make it. Something happened to me. The way I feel... about you... it's different. And no matter how hard we've both tried to convince ourselves this isn't real, in the past, and even now... it is real."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "I know." Spike gave me a curious look. "To tell you the truth, all of this, it's... intense. Sometimes a little raw, but... it makes me feel alive."

Spike was obviously very pleased to hear this, walking closer. "That's what I like to hear."

Spike and I looked at each other for a long moment, where he brushed his finger across my lips to wipe away the bit of alcohol that was still there, starting to kiss heatedly and passionately, pulling off each other's shirts, laying down.

   ~~~~~~ 

I was getting dressed again, seeing that there was a skull on the far edge of the crypt, looking toward Spike, slowly walking closer in confusion, picking up the skull to look behind it, not seeing an obvious cameras. I looked at the glass in the eye of the skull to see reflective lenses, sighing. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What is it?" Spike asked.

I tossed the skull to Spike. "You've got a camera in here, too. Please tell me that's not yours."

Spike frowned in confusion. "It's not mine." I sighed, walking toward the door. Spike followed. "Where are you going?"

I walked outside.

Buffy, Xander and Willow were walking closer.

I sighed, stopping where I was. "Let me guess. The camera's are from the nerd herd."

"You won't be laughing at a joke when we say that there's another right in there," Xander told me, pointing at the crypt.

"Yeah, I just found it," I told them. "And how do you guys even..." I realized that they did follow the trace and that they had to have seen inside. "Oh, my God."

"That was pretty much my reaction," Willow told me.

"Yeah, saw it all," Xander told me. "Whole beautiful show."

"I told you that this wasn't gonna work out," Buffy told me. 

"Don't go off judging me again, not after everything," I told her.

"Again?" Willow repeated. She looked at Buffy. "You knew?"

"Yeah, she's known for a little bit," I answered. "And hasn't stopped putting me down over it since."

"Because it's wrong," Buffy told me.

"Yeah, and I'm getting really tired of hearing you say that," I told her. "You know, I never agreed with Faith on anything, but she was right about one thing. Holier than thou Buffy can do things that others can't."

"I'm gonna say this again, if you keep using my past relationship to justify yours," Buffy told me. "Angel had a soul!"

"And as soon as he lost it, he tried to kill all of us," I told her. "He had to be cursed for a soul, not once but twice. He didn't want to be that way."

"Yes, but Spike doesn't even have a soul," Xander told me.

"Yet, he's saved all of us more than once," I told them. "He even took care of my mom and my sister when I couldn't, because I was dead in the ground. And when I came back, I couldn't feel anything, except when I was with him. He started to make me feel alive again, and it made my life with you guys, with my family, so much easier."

"Easier?" Xander repeated. "Keeping this a secret from us for who knows how long was easier? Keeping the secret of letting that evil, soulless thing touch you and having sex with him was easier?"

I groaned in frustration, trying very hard not to get angry. "Can you blame me with the way that you're looking at me right now? With the way you're reacting?"

Willow sighed. "She has a point." Buffy and Xander looked at her in surprise. "Zoey, I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just trying to tell you that you deserve more than this... than what's going on. You deserve someone that can love you with all of his soul." I looked over my shoulder toward the crypt, knowing that Spike would be inside and listening, sighing, shaking my head, looking away. "But, Zoey, tell me the truth. Please. Is this because of what happened with the life and death?"

"He helped me with that, but that is not the reason," I answered. "And you can hate me for it, and you can judge me for it, and make me feel bad and ashamed for it all you want, but I'm not going to let you drag me down for it."

I started to walk away.

Willow turned after me apologetically in guilt. "Zoey..."

I didn't look back, just continued to walk away.

   ~~~~~~ 

I got back home, walking up to the house, seeing that Mom and Dawn were sitting outside on a blanket, looking up at the stars like we used to do. I paused, knowing that Dawn knew too, sighing, walking closer.

Dawn didn't look judgmental or even surprised, giving me a small smile. "So this is it? This is the stuff you've been protecting me from? You and Spike?"

"And a lot of monsters," Mom answered.

Dawn nodded. "Uh-huh." She looked at me. "But is it over? With you and Spike, after what happened tonight?"

I sighed, walking closer, sitting down between Mom and Dawn on the blanket, looking up at the stars. "I don't know. I guess that just depends."

"On what?" Dawn asked.

"On whether or not we can get past this," I answered. "Buffy and Xander were so harsh, even if they were trying to help convince me that I deserve better. Willow was just trying to figure out how this happened, and she was sorry about all of this, but..."

"This is what you were worried about," Mom told me. "That they wouldn't be able to look at you the same again."

"Yeah," I answered. 

"For the record, I like Spike," Dawn told me. "And I think that he really loves you. And, yeah, he may be a vampire, but he took care of me and mom, when you were gone. And he's been there for you. I just don't want him to hurt you, ever. And if he does hurt you, I'm gonna turn into a Slayer and kill him for it." Mom and I couldn't help but laugh at this. "But I don't think badly of you because of this. I still think of you as the awesome older sister."

"I know," I told her, taking Dawn by the hand thankfully.

"I just wish you'd told me," Dawn told me.

I sighed, shrugging. "I didn't 'tell' anyone."

"Then how did Mom and Buffy know?" Dawn asked.

"I put the pieces together," Mom answered. "And Buffy... she.,. caught them."

"Really?" Dawn asked, weirded out.

"Yeah," I answered, chuckling slightly at her reaction. "And she's been a bitch to me ever since, except when she was sick."

"So that's why you two were acting weird before," Dawn realized.

I sighed, nodding. "Yeah."

"I know it must hurt," Mom told me. "To feel like you have to hide, to keep secrets from everybody." I looked at Mom and Dawn pensively. "But you don't have to keep secrets from us anymore, Zoey. We're your family, and we love you. We'll always love you, no matter what. Nothing's going to change that."

I managed a small smile in relief.

Mom and Dawn both hugged me from either side, while I held an arm around either of them to hold them close, and as we continued to watch the stars above, laying down to watch the night sky.