Hello beautiful people, I just wanted to make something clear.
Louis is not going to be bulimic or anorexic here. I know it might seem to, but no. It's a triggering topic for me and I would never write it.

I've been through bulimia a couple of years ago. I don't mind talking about it, but i'm sure I could never write or narrate that because well, I'ts dark.

I always say this but if you need to talk about something, you can talk to me.

Eating disorders come with the no verbalization of problems. So it's always helpful to talk.

Just that.

Hope you have a great day!
Mag 🦋

F O U R

So basically the rest of my first week was bullshit.

Every morning I woke up just to be denigrated by Mr. Styles in class. To be pushed away from Emily and to leave all my energy in the ballet class to show that bastard I was the best. Not leaving enough energy for my next classes of the day.

Besides, after Harry told me I should lose weight, I had reduced my meals and multiplied my training in the gym after classes.

I still ate a lot though, Niall would never let me not eat. He even invited me to dinner twice this week with Claudia.
I tried to avoid talking about my awful relationship with Harry. Actually, my non-existent relationship with Harry. Because well, he kept ignoring me. All the time. Like I was not even there.
Not that I expected him to love me right away, but well, at least I thought he would notice me. You know?

I followed his advice and I didn't speak to him again, also I started to focus more on my jumps. Again, draining my energy in every sequence.

I still don't understand how my muscles still respond to my brain. I'm tired and stressed. Everything hurts and he still doesn't notice me.

It's okay, Louis. He will. You're the best.

Let me say that all this stress isn't good for me, so it's not news that I used Caleb more than once this week too.

But with all that I was going through, who can blame me?

On the weekend Niall, Em, Jake and I went to a party downtown so we could celebrate our last first week of academy. Because after all it was our last year. We should celebrate that every week.

But It was bloody awful. Worst. Party. Ever.

Jake and Emily took off early to his house, surprising.
Niall was spinning around with some girl, not paying attention to me, and I was too drunk to remember anything else.

I was bored, and drunk. But mostly bored.

And today it was monday again. Yey.
Three hours ahead of just Harry.
Harry. Harry. Harry. Bloody Harry.

After a cup of tea I changed my clothes and headed to the classroom. Emily stayed at Jake's last night too, so I was on my own.
Again, Yey.

When I dragged my tired legs to the classroom, everyone was already there, and I was fucking wonderfully late.
Again, Yey.

"Mr. Tomlinson. You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." - I said.

I walked with my head down to my spot at the back while he kept speaking.

"You're lucky I didn't start the class yet, because I wanted to talk to all of you first. Well everyone, today it's the day you've been waiting for. I'm going to announce your partners for the rest of the year. I told you all that I'm not following what your old teacher said, things are going to change around here. You'd better put up with it. We are going to be separated in two groups, males and females. One group, females, it's going to stay with me in this room. The other group is going to be with my assistant in the adjoining room. You're going to work on duets. Everything clear so far?"

Everyone nodded.
We were going to do duets. Male-male duets.

Fuck Harry.

I hated every man here. And everyone hated me, because well I always got the lead role and because I was the best. They all envy me.

This is not good. They would probably hurt me on purpose while dancing together. Or something even worse.
I don't like your idea Mr. Styles.

"I'm going to point at you forming the couples, because I still don't know your names, and honestly I don't care to remember them either. So you"- He pointed to Maya. - "Are with her." - He pointed at Hazel.

Weird choice if you ask me. But whatever floats your boat, Harry.

"You." - He pointed at Emily. - "With her." - He pointed to Mel.

Emily was disgusted, I could tell, even if she forced a smile towards Mel.

Mel was a bitch.
Well, everyone was a bitch around here, so no news.

And Harry continued pointing people until he paired every woman in the class. Then he proceeded with the men.

"You." - He pointed to Liam. "Are with Tomlinson."

Oh no. You have got to be kidding me.

Of all the men here, he wanted me to dance with Liam?

I hate Harry Styles.

That's my conclusion.

"Now I'll introduce you to my assistant for this class. You probably know who he is because he has been dancing in my ballet for about two years now. He is one of the best male dancers right now and he even graduated from here. Please welcome Zayn Malik."

Of course it's fucking Zayn Malik.
Because this day couldn't be bad enough already.

Zayn walked through the door towards Harry and stood by his side.

"Hello, everyone." - He smiled. That nauseous smile.

Zayn Malik who graduated from here when I was in first year.
Zayn Malik who left me two years ago.

Because yes. Zayn was my fucking ex before he went to Berlin. With Harry.
Did I forget to mention that before?

And now not only I have to be in the other room without being able to impress Harry, dancing in duet with my enemy, but also I would be under the gaze of none other than my ex.
Who would clearly not speak good about me with Harry. Who would clearly not give me a contract after graduation.

That 's it. I'm done.

I'm going to quit.

I looked at Emily and I could tell by her eyes that she was worried.
I sighed and shook my head. I don't know how I am going to handle this.

Not for the rest of the entire year.

"So now that everyone knows who his partner is, we can begin the class. We are doing some exercise on the barre first, and then we will separate into two groups." - Harry continued.

And that's how the day went on. Harry marked some stuff for us to do at the barre and then we split and Zayn took the lead.
Yey.

He was the complete opposite to Harry inside the classroom. He was calm and soft. He hasn't changed at all, and that made me hate him more.

Yes, I hate a lot of people. And guess what? I don't care.

Zayn even made me stand at the front of the class while he marked the choreography, he even used me as his partner to show the steps and the dance tricks. Me. Out of all the people in the room. Me. His ex.

Then, after he taught us all the steps, he made Liam and I repeat the choreography for the rest of the duets behind us.

Liam was tense while dancing with me, I could tell. He was reluctant.
But we actually made a good couple.
I have to admit he dances pretty good. Not as good as me, but still.

And Zayn. Zayn was just staring at me the whole time, it was creepy. Fucking creepy.
He was not paying attention to anyone but me.
I started feeling uncomfortable.

Twenty minutes before the class ended, things got even worse.
Because Harry entered to check on us and the choreography. To check on Zayn.

He got really mad when he saw me in front and leading the others. When he saw that Liam and I were dancing without the others showing how it was done. I even think I saw fire coming through his pupils when he stared at me.

Because we locked our eyes together, and I felt really scared he would break my arm or something.

But hey, it wasn't my fault mister. Blame Zayn.

"Zayn, Tomlinson can't be there, he is going to The back. He is going to be part of the ensemble, not a leading."

"Really? I thought maybe they could be the leading couple." - Zayn replied.

"To the back I Said."

"Okay."

Zayn made us a sign for us to go to the back and he replaced us with another male couple in front.

"I hate you so much." - Liam whispered.

"It's mutual." - I rolled my eyes.

And I really don't know how i am going to get through the rest of the year.

The rest of the week even. Because I already feel like I want to commit homicide.
Three names at the top of the list. Liam, Zayn and fucking Harry.