TW: Depression.

Dan was lying in bed, just staring up at his blank ceiling with teary eyes. He was thinking about his life and how far he had come. He had days where he had been breaking down (such as when he was going through university doing a subject he absolutely hated); all those existential crises; the times on tour when he felt he was the last person to deserve such a dedicated fanbase... The list could go on.

Then he had those days that made living worthwhile: the trip to Japan; meeting their 'phans'; hearing them say how much he and Phil have helped them.

He had spent days crying in the corner of his room, hugging his knees against his chest as he clung onto the tiny spark of hope that everything would turn out of okay. Equally, he had spent days standing on a stage in front of over a thousand people, watching as they smiled whilst he spoke about stupid things.

'Phans' came up to him, telling him that he and Phil had saved their lives and, little did they know, they had saved his too.

"You alright?" Phil asked as he walked into his best friend's room after hearing gentle cries. "Are you feeling depressed again? I can stay up with you, if you need to talk. You should have told me sooner and then I could have arranged for you to go see your therapist-"

"No, Phil," Dan sat up, wiping away his tears and looking at his friend with the most grateful eyes. "I'm okay, no- I'm perfect."

Doubt flashed across Phil's face. "Are you sure..?"

"Yes, please come here. I want to give you the longest hug ever to say thank you for everything." Phil furrowed his eyebrows, slowly walking towards his friend and sitting beside him on Dan's bed. He wrapped his arms around him in a gentle way, as if the man was still fragile. "I've come so far, thanks to you. I don't even know if I'd be here if you never messaged me back on Twitter, to be honest."

"You-" Phil started but he was interrupted.

"I'm here and that's all that matters. If I had given up, I would never have experienced so many amazing things with you."

"I know, I'm so proud of you."

"I'm proud of me too."

"We're going to have so many more adventures because you're stuck with me." Phil grinned, making Dan smile back, his eyes still teary.

Hey, time to get serious about me and my current... situation regarding writing? So, in January/February, I had a huge spark of inspiration with writing, hence the sudden wave of updates with my one shots and new books like Ease and The Unknown. Now I seem to be suffering with more of a flop with my writing, considering I cannot finish a single thing. As well as this, I'm never in the mood to write anymore. Which sucks because writing used to make me happy. In the least depressing way possible, nothing really makes me happy anymore?

Oh and I'm never proud or happy with the stuff I write anymore. I'm not asking for attention because I feel, no matter how many nice comments I get, I'll never be proud of anything anymore. I feel like I rush my writing due to a fear of losing interest and leaving the work unfinished. That just makes the writing not good enough.

Basically, I'm not sure what's happening with me and writing. Don't worry, I won't stop posting anytime soon because, due to that spark of inspiration, I have enough one shots in my drafts to keep me going for a while. I even have another book I wrote a couple of months ago and just haven't gotten around to posting. So that's fine, you don't need to worry about me not posting (not that any of you would be too bothered? There are plenty of other one shot books out there!). I just fear the day I stop posting on this account is looming in the future which scares me so much. I don't want to ever stop posting on this account...

Thanks for sticking around. I'm sorry if this account crashes to the ground and my writing loses its soul.

I hope, somehow, you enjoyed the one shot.