So this song (Getting Over You, Lauv) was randomly suggested to me on YouTube and I gave it a listen... then I was just like SONGFIC! (Also I've never heard of this artist before but damn this song is a bop)

TW: I'm not sure if it's a trigger warning but break up and a whole lot of crying!

Running from the morning
Think I hit a wall
Late nights, not you
Running from the moment
So I don't recall
Late nights, not you

Phil let out a tiny scream as he sent a punch flying towards his innocent pillow. He was crying so much that his vision was beginning to get blurred and he could barely see what he was doing at that point.

A pile of his ex-boyfriend's things laid on the floor, taunting him silently. All the photos and gifts reminded him of everything they had been through and it really hurt his heart.

He was hurting. So much that he yearned to sleep forever.

Waking up in a cold sweat
Someone else in this cold bed
I'd do anything to not be alone
All alone with the ceiling
All alone with this feeling
And I wonder if I'll ever let go

Phil's eyes jolted open and he sat up quickly. The space next to him was freezing because it lacked the man that had once laid there. He wiped his forehead with his hand, pulling it back once he realised he was drenched in sweat.

The guy seemed to haunt him in his dreams too. Sleep was once the only way Phil could avoid the memories of his ex but he had started to show up there too. He laid back down, keeping his gaze fixed on the empty ceiling. He missed the feeling of arms wrapped around him; the feeling of having someone laying beside him and, mostly, he missed the feeling of being loved.

I tried spending my nights under
Someone new
But the truth is
I could spend my whole life getting over you

"I'm sorry," Phil mumbled, pushing the other man away. The blonde's once soft eyes squinted to form a glare, looking rather disgusted. "I can't do this."

"What do you mean? You're the one who kissed me." He responded, standing up and pulling his shirt back on from where it had been discarded on the floor.

"I don't even know your name."

"So? I thought you wanted to... you know... hook up."

Phil shook his head, shamefully dropping his gaze to his lap. "I thought I was over someone but I'm not. I'm so-" Before Phil could even apologise a second time, the stranger had walked out and slammed the door.

Yeah yeah yeah
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you

A knock on Phil's bedroom door made him lift his head up. He hurriedly wiped away all of the tears on his cheeks, looking up and attempting to look as okay as possible. That was fairly hard when his eyes were bloodshot from how much he had been crying. "You okay?" Dan, Phil's roommate, asked. He was looking down at Phil with furrowed eyebrows and an anxious countenance.

"I'm fine." Phil whispered but both were aware of the fact that he didn't mean it. Dan went silent for a moment as he took a seat beside his friend. He placed an arm on Phil's shoulder and that was enough to set him off again. Dan didn't even bother saying anything as he let Phil grip his shirt tightly and cry into his chest. He longed for his friend to be happy; to smile again and, most importantly, to feel loved again.

Drowning in my coffee
To wash the alcohol
Out my bloodstream
Sitting here I wonder
If we hadn't been at all
Who would I be
Waking up in a cold sweat
Someone else in this cold bed
And I wonder if I'll ever let go

Phil couldn't remember how many coffees he had downed but he was almost certain that he would be unable to count it on his hands alone. It was almost five in the morning and he hadn't even had a tiny amount of sleep. It was his fault for filling his body with so much caffeine at such a late time but he couldn't help it. He really needed to drown everything out. He couldn't escape his ex-boyfriend's face in his dreams so he was better off staying awake.

Even if it meant he became a walking zombie.

Sitting at the kitchen table, he stared into space. He wondered: who would he be if he had never been with his ex?

Eventually, after another hour of blankly staring into space, he went to bed. He was exhausted but the thoughts (and caffeine) still prevented him from getting to sleep quickly. He did wake up multiple times, drenched in sweat as always, what remained of his heart even more broken at the sight of his ex's face.

I tried spending
My nights under
Someone new
But the truth is
I could spend my whole life getting over you

Dan turned to Phil who had fallen asleep on his shoulder, concern written all over his face. They had planned on watching the movie but Phil had passed out within the first fifteen minutes or so. Seemingly, he slept quite calmly for a while... until his body started to shake and he jolted up like he had seen a ghost.

"Phil..?" Dan questioned, his voice soft in fear he'd break the glass that was his best friend. Phil didn't say anything, just hugging his legs against his chest and crying. Dan began to rub circles on his back, hoping that one day he'd make his friend do something more than just cope.

Yeah yeah yeah
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you
Getting over you

Dan leant back, his eyes open wide in shock. His best friend had just tried to kiss him and, as much as he wanted to kiss back, he couldn't. He knew Phil was still trying to cope with the break up and he was afraid Phil was acting on impulse rather than actual feelings. "Phil, that's not a good idea." He murmured, placing a hand on his friend's knee.

"You don't love me." Phil choked out, pulling his knees to his chest. He was sobbing so Dan leant forward and rubbed away the tears without even thinking about what he was doing.

"I do. You're still hurting though. I need to know you're over him, okay?"

"I'll never get over him..."

"You will one day," Dan grabbed Phil's hand, squeezing it gently and meeting his eyes. "And I'll be here for you until you do. You'll be okay one day, I promise."

"But... what if-"

"You will. He was a horrible person for ever letting you go. You're so amazing and perfect and you never deserved him. You deserve the world... not some idiot who will throw you away like you're nothing."

Phil wiped away one of his own tears before mumbling, "Yeah."

-

"Are you alright?" Dan asked, interrogating his boyfriend with his gaze. They were clearing out Phil's bedroom, ready to move out, and they had found an old photo of Phil and his ex.

"Yeah," Phil murmured, smiling gently as he looked at the memory. It didn't hurt him at that point, it just reminded him of a mere event that was part of his life. It had helped him become the man he was today. "I'm perfect."

I know the timing is kind of off but please forgive me just this once? I think I like this one (despite the timing)!

Also, completely unrelated to the one shot, I go back to school after a two week break tomorrow and I haven't done any revision at all so I'm so screwed. Not my fault I can't get motivated ...right? I really wish school would end already because I haven't been feeling great and, with the stress of school on top of that, I feel ten times worse :)

AnYwAyS

How are you? Are you okay? I hope you're happy at the moment because you deserve to be!

OH ALSO TOMORROW I WILL BE RELEASING THE FIRST CHAPTER OF MY NEW BOOK! IT WILL BE CALLED EMPTY CLASSROOMS AND HERE'S THE DESCRIPTION:

I have a girlfriend. Her name is Kayla and she's so sweet and pretty... but there's one problem. I'm in love with someone else: my best friend, Phil Lester.

I didn't mean to cheat, I swear. I was just confused with my identity and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. I ended up hurting her feelings even more by cheating.

I made a mistake and I'm the worst person on the planet, I know.

This is what happened.

KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR IT IF YOU WANT :D!