There was a thunderstorm here last night and so I didn't get much sleep. I feel like a zombie...

THIS IS A SONGFIC TO SLEEPING WITH SIRENS' 2 CHORD.

I've known this song a while but I've never really listened to lyrics properly. The other day, I searched them up and thought 'wow, this will make a perfect angsty songfic' ;)

NOTE: I CHANGED THE 'SHE'S TO 'HE'S TO FIT DAN AND PHIL :D

TW: ARGUING AND LOTS OF CRYING. IT'S SUPER ANGSTY.

Phil could feel tears welling up in his eyes as his shouts filled the apartment. Dan was standing opposite, yelling equally loud. Neither could remember what had triggered the fight but both were aware that the screaming had been going on a long time. It was a surprise that the neighbours hadn't complained yet.

Standing in a hallway
Walls explode with sounds of a fight, yeah
Searching for a reason
I don't know if I'll make it out alive, alive

"It's like you don't even love me anymore!" Dan yelled and the words slashed at Phil's heart, making him lose his breath for a moment.

"How dare you say that? I love you, Dan, I always have! It's just so hard when all we do is argue!" Phil was actually crying now: tears falling down his pale cheeks as he yelled. They were mainly because of the emptiness in his chest, also a bit of the anger.

"Now you're crying? Wow." Dan huffed, glaring at his boyfriend. Phil wasn't entirely sure if he could do it anymore. He hated shouting so much and every word tore another hole in his already broken heart. He wasn't quite sure how much longer their relationship would last since it definitely wasn't healthy- happy couples don't shout at each other over nothing.

He said he'd leave a thousand times
I think tonight, I'd actually take flight
And as he packs his things
I see him look at me with tears in his eyes

"This is ridiculous, Phil! I can't take this anymore!" Dan screamed, angrily walking down the hall to his bedroom. His bedroom. They didn't even share anymore.

"You can't take this anymore? I can't either!" Phil could see the faint tears filling Dan's eyes and it hurt so much. Dan collected up random clothes and packed them up into his backpack.

"I don't think I even love you anymore. Why should I? All you do is yell at me." Dan spat, shoving his phone charger into his bag. He momentarily looked up and met Phil's eyes; both of them were almost in tears.

He says, I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
I'm staying here
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
'Til we make it there
Whoa

"Don't you remember when you said you were never going to leave?  Doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?" Phil cried out as Dan (rather harshly) threw his backpack onto his back.

"Why should it mean anything? You were different back then. We were different back then!"

"What do you mean I was different? I haven't changed at all!"

"You have. You used to love me and you used to actually talk to me!"

"I still love you!"

"No, you don't!"

"You said that we were going survive! You said we were going to get married! If anything, you're the one who has changed!" Phil yelled. Dan shook his head, walking towards his bedroom door.

"Yeah, I changed because I realised who actually cared."

I remember that we always
Remember that we always were so strong
Used to feel so alive
Now I don't remember living for so long

"I care about you, Dan! So much! You just don't tell me anything anymore! I was always there for you in 2009, nothing has changed since then!"

"Then why are you still yelling at me?"

"Because you started it! I can't even remember why anymore!"

Dan sighed, pressing his fingers into his temples. He had his eyes tightly shut... as if he was fighting off a headache. To be honest, Phil had a headache. His head was throbbing like crazy. Shouting was his weak point and it made him lose his breath, his heart beat fast and usually it ended in tears.

Phil's legs weren't working properly as Dan rushed down the hall, his backpack still on his back. It was actually happening... Dan was leaving.

He said he's tried a thousand times,
But he's always feared and I'm already gone
If we could go back to how it was before
I promise I would never do you wrong
No

"I've tried so hard, Phil! I've tried to fix whatever we broke in the relationship but this isn't working!" Dan screamed, his face red from all of the rage and sadness. Tears were actually falling down his cheeks so much that he was an absolute mess.

"Can't we start again? From the beginning? The moment we fell in love back in 2009?" Phil's voice was much quieter as his hope was gradually crumbling. Phil hated to see Dan cry, especially since it was because of him. In Phil's mind, he was what went wrong in the relationship... he probably wasn't the best boyfriend.

"No, Phil. It's too late for that... We're already too broken." Dan's voice was also softer. His quiet, shaking voice was probably worse than the shouting since the emotion was actually showing. The sadness was hurting them both...

I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
I'm staying here
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
'Til we make it there
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
I'm staying here
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
'Til we make it there

"Please don't go..." Phil mumbled, his voice was broken. It was shaking so much that the words were almost inaudible.

"Phil. Stop! You're trying to make me feel bad, aren't you? Like I'm the reason this isn't working. Leaving is for the best." Dan held out his hand and shaped it around the handle of the front door to the apartment. One quick movement of the wrist and a few steps forward and Dan would be gone forever.

"No! That was not what I meant! We could make this work!"

"We've said that a thousand times. A thousand times too many. Phil, get it into your head... We don't work." Phil was sobbing uncontrollably, desperately clinging onto whatever fragments of hope were left.  "I'm done."

And just like that, Dan was out of the door.

Gone.

I'm staring at your pictures
Figure out where we went wrong
If you would be my guiding light
And even in our darkest times,
We find strength to carry on
So I'm not leaving
I'm not leaving 'til we're home
Whoa

Phil was sitting in his bedroom, hugging his legs close to his chest. He was scrolling through his YouTube channel. Dan was with him in most of the thumbnails of his videos.

The tears were already falling when Phil clicked into the first video.

He was trying to figure out where they had gone wrong. In 2009, the videos were happy and chirpy but 2016..? They were sadder than ever.

Phil didn't want Dan to leave... he was sure that they could somehow fix together their relationship. They just had to find the problem and get rid of it, right?

It was hopeless, wasn't it? There wasn't much point in Phil convincing himself otherwise because Dan was gone. Phil cried himself to sleep that night... and the next ...and the next.

I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
I'm staying here
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
'Til we make it there
No, no, no, no
I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
I'm staying here
Cause I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving
Til we make it there

"I'm not giving up on you." Phil mumbled as he watched Dan's latest video. It was another Reasons Why Dan's A Fail video which Phil usually loved but that time, it made him cry.

That particular reason why Dan was a fail was his pessimism.

Maybe with a little optimism and hope, Dan and Phil could have worked out. Sadly the hope was nothing but tiny particles now, ready to vanish completely.

Phil thought back to 2009... when Dan promised not to leave him... ever. He lied.

Dan lied to him.

Phil let out a loud sob, pulling his knees to his chest.

Dan smiled, wiping away one of Phil's tears. "I'm not leaving, Phil." He whispered, making Phil sniff slightly.

"That's what everyone says... do you actually mean it though?"

"Of course I do, lion. I promise, I won't ever leave you."

Dan left though, didn't he? Of course he did. No one ever stayed.

Give me one more chance to love you so
Won't you please
Won't you please just come back home

One chance could change a lot. Phil just wanted Dan to give him one more chance to love him. He wanted him to come back home. Phil didn't dare open up the door to Dan's room, scared that the memory of the fight would come back. He wanted to go back in time to 2009, when they were so happily in love.

Those, however, were only things he wanted and, sadly, you don't get everything you want.

I'm too tired to check this for mistakes so.. XD

What's your favourite TV programme?

Well... lately I've started watching Sherlock and it's great so probably Sherlock at the moment.