Dad said raising piglets taught me a lot.
Even though over half a litter  we lost.
Without those piglets, I guess I have to admit my grief is in more than just livestock.

For some reason, my grief resides also in every best friend I've lost. Self inflicted, yes I know. it just adds to the cost. The tally of friends I've lost, to a multitude of reasons.

But it always comes back around. This is the last time I'll take the cost, cause I'm the one that left him lost. My only sober friend, I left in the wind because I myself was lost.

So now here I Am staring at the cost, knowing that without him, I should be stone cold sober and for some reason I'm not. Like somehow I can just forget all about him and the tally of his cost.