{ KI }

He talked a lot. Talked so much. A truly, effervescent man.

He wasn't talking about himself much but more about mad ideas, brilliant theories, and weird experiences; never in arrogance. Seems he didn't want me to miss a single piece of knowledge. Nothing makes me happier than him who took me along on his past journeys together, just by words.

When the sun glared right above us, we moved under a tree near the forest and continued our discussion. I provided lunch for him but he felt like a freeloader. Reassured him that I love for him to use my gifts, I also didn't want him to leave the meadow. Even for a while.

Maybe I'm too attached, but I think he is too since his arms have never let me go. His head now lies on my lap, and he plays with my hair delicately, gazing up at me. I focus on reading a fine arts book because it shows so many colors that I didn't know before! I hum a tune in contentment. He feels very... home.

My smirk emerges. "Impossible to look away?"

"Should I?"

"Can you?"

"I won't."

"Good." I put the book on his chest and kiss his nose, making him shy. He looks good with blushes. "Finished."

"You're a fast reader. A dozen books you ate up!"

"You fed me abundantly, how could I not eat?" I beam at him, proud for causing him to laugh in rosy color. Which reminds me. "What's your favorite color?"

"I haven't thought about it. Perhaps I like all colours?"

A giggle erupts from me and I kiss his warm cheeks. "It isn't fair. I like all of them too. There must be one where it has a special spot in your heart."

"Not fair? Meaning, you have a favourite?"

"Yes. Green."

He snorts. "Gee, I wonder why." I slap his chest while he laughs and hugs my hand. "Just green, Ki? Any specific shade?"

"Umh... Emerald. I was fascinated with it when my friends told me a story about 'The Wizard of Oz.' I never saw it, only listened to its closest descriptions regarding my place. Mind you, I know colors from my vicinity, the ever-changing sky, and the animals, but they can only do so much." My lips trace his hairline. I whisper, "You made it possible for me to see real emerald with my own two eyes. Through these pages."

He slowly beams. "I'm happy that you finally do. For the sake of fairness, my favourite is ruby red."

"It's beautiful... Is there a story connected to it?"

A glimpse of grief passes by his face. I saw this once when Taq and Fomu told me about wars, although theirs were briefer.

"No story, sweetheart. Only, it's a reminder of something I miss. Something I can't have back."

I rest my cheek on his, a bit worried. "I hope my red poppies here will ease the mourning."

He laughs giddily. "Oh it does, my dear. Not just the reds, I like seeing the rest of the colours too."

Noted, the flowers in my meadow are seventy percent poppies and the rest are other kinds of flowers. Grimacing, I ask, "Don't you think they're too messy with many colors?"

"So what if they are messy? I love watching them! I assume poppy is your favourite flower?"

"Mhm. I love the flower meanings behind it, notably about the dream. I often wonder what a dream is like."

"I think I know what's my favourite now."

A minute of comfortable quietness is shared between us and I hold him closer. "What's the next book, Aht?"

"...That's enough for today."

"What?" I clutch his chest, fisting his shirt. Desperate. "Not yet."

His strong chest is rising up and down with steady breaths, yet his heart is on a different matter. Beating fast for me. "I have to go back, remember?"

Almost sunset. Time feels so short, it's strange. Time was a blur and extremely slow for me. Though with him? I felt every second and it flew fast. "I don't want you to go. Stay with me," I beg.

A pained look takes hold of him, although soon he plasters a smile after. His hand presses on top of mine with an unexpected strength, as if pleading with me to enter his heart and stay there instead. "There's nothing I want more, sweetheart." Taking my hand from his shirt, he then kisses it with such affection, again and again. My lips tremble, and I can't hold back the gloom when he has to return. Oh with him, my emotions are difficult to conceal. "I'll come back, okay?"

"Please do. I don't know if you'll be in danger or bad situations."

"I promise with my whole self, I will always come back to you. I don't intend to leave long, and assholes out there can't stop me if they want to."

{ AHT }

Her saddened features shift to a frail smile. A little better than before. I get her. I don't want to leave her too.

I roll a little and hug her from down here, burying my face onto her stomach and basking in her warmth and odour. Makes perfect sense she smells like poppies, and the rain scent was a wonderful surprise. Maybe her warmth is from divinity or the familiar aura she exudes, but I encountered both before, and none of them made me feel warm at all. It's her only.

"I leave the books to you, so you can read more. Please keep them dry from the rain."

"I'll keep the books. I won't read until you come back because if they're finished quicker, I won't have more time with you," she gently says.

Pulled to fall for her is getting difficult to slow down. Aihh... I get up and stand on the grass, urging her to do the same by offering my hands. She takes them, pulls herself—leaps into my arms! God damn, it's near impossible now.

"Ki, I will come back here, you know? After the books?"

"You travel, no?" Her head tilts to the right.

I bite my lip after a thought. "I'm not. I wanted books from Alaska, albeit they are echoes from the past. Not too attached to find them."

"But you're attached to me?" Goodness gracious, she's dead on. Heat's flaring in my cheeks and nose and I have to look away. She laughs in a wonderful melody. "Don't be embarrassed. I am, too, for you. There, we both know what we deeply feel in our cores, even a little for now."

I sigh, kissing her forehead. I put her down and smoothen her skirt as she keeps staring at me. She is a starer from what I learnt today. For the whole day, I noticed she liked to gaze at me, unrelenting, even when I didn't say anything. Not in an unsettling or judging way, but rather, in interest and appreciation. I don't know what the heck I did that caught her rapt attention. I was being myself.

And underneath her merriment, a very calculating nature lurks around. Kept questioning the contents of these books, assessing the meanings behind everything, and observing every being that mattered to her. As if she couldn't be more attractive! She told me that others assumed her curious behaviour as naivety, to the point she believed them. She disbelieved them now, however, sometimes their criticisms ring in her mind. She knows she can be herself with me too and I'll maintain it. Their damn loss for not knowing her.

"I like your hums by the way! Do you sing, Ki?"

"I like to sing. Never heard real music, though. I don't know if mine is real singing."

"How...?"

"Taq and Fomu sing and hum to me with new songs whenever they visit. I don't remember the natives' songs since their echoes were far away."

"I see." She must've felt frustrated when her friends were resourceful and still not enough. Enough of experiencing to the fullest.

{ KI }

"I'll bring music to you then. You can sing to it properly." He beams with excited nods.

"Wh-what?" I blink at him while he keeps nodding. My word, he gives too much indulgence! I kiss his nose and dance away, twirling and whirling around with my out-of-tune hum. With him. With him in everything! "I can't wait! I will dance with you, sing with you, and—!" I face him... His unfamiliar look stops me in my tracks. What I can recognize is intensity and adoration as his eyes sparkle like moons. The rest is a mystery. Fluttery warmth comes again. "Aht?" His expression fades, replaced with a pensive, sincere smile. "Are you alright?"

"I'm good, don't worry. I have a lot on my mind."

"Want to talk?"

His eyes squint and he laughs again. "I see what you did there. I'll talk to you about them later because I need to figure it out first."

I shrug. "Worth a shot. I know you want to stay here."

"You tend to forget I am a human. Have to be with my kind." Umph. That punches me in the gut because I really did forget it. His brow crinkles. "I want to stay after dinner tomorrow, is it better?" he tries to console me.

Better but I'm greedy for him. "Hm... Bearable. You should stay here with me forever."

He inhales sharply and massages his nose bridge. Oh dear, maybe I'm too...

"Should, you say? If only I could, I would."

"Really, Aht?"

I shouldn't be surprised, except any normal human would've run for the hills if I'm ever intense with them. Truthfully, they'd run away from anything intense, except sex and violence.

...Not all humans. I think. The ones I met before were not helping the impression.

"Absolutely, Ki. At times, I wish I'm not a human. But if I wasn't, I wouldn't have met you in the first place." He pulls me in and we hug in a tight grip, don't want to let each other go. His lips touch my ear while his fingers run on my thick wild hair. He is cozy and... sensual. "I like it when you're possessive over me. Protecting me."

"I-I'm not," I lie.

He chuckles softly and whispers, "Liar."

Goosebumps everywhere and heat flares up inside me. In deep tumult when he pecks my cheek and lets me go. He is starting to walk away. I can't see his face since he doesn't turn back at all. "I will wait for you, Aht."

"I'll always come back to you, my Ki." He disappears into the forest as the leaves rustle until the sound fades.

My hand clenches over my chest, sorting out my emotions. The flutter, the warmth, the goosebumps, the giddiness I feel whenever I see and think about him. Am I falling? Okay, okay. Imagine when he is old and decrepit. Well, I'd still enjoy his company. When he'll show more of his flaws? I'd support him and his growth if he wants to improve. If he gets married to someone else?

...Nasty anger coils inside me, even before I fully imagine it. However, not towards him. Sharp pain behind my eyes and I blink fast. Oh Your Highness, is this—? Wait, last thing. After he dies, will I ever find another him?

...

I'm falling.

{ AHT }

I'm falling fast and I know I'll crash.

In less than a day, I'm falling in love. What kind of idiocy is this!? I'm an idiot for spending time with her. I'm greedy for her. A greedy idiot.

"AAAAGGGHHH!" And I huff. Plenty of poor forest creatures scurry away. Whoops. "Sorry, dearies."

By normal standards, humans take time to know each other, and then, ONLY THEN, they'll fall. Sure, there are cases similar to mine, albeit most of them are quick to fall out of love or call their mere infatuations as love out of whim. But I know I'm in the long run. Probably for a lifetime. How so?

Because I was a higher spirit who turned into a human? Most likely.

Heck, when I was banished, it remained impossible to be in love until Ki, who of course! Another higher spirit! Who has the SAME DAMN DILEMMA I FELT BEFORE I WAS BANISHED!

My head hurts.

____________________

"You look like you kicked a puppy."

"I've come bearing gifts and the first thing you noticed is my face, Theo? I feel loved!"

Theo rolls his eyes. I struggle to close the door, and ugh—! My forehead bangs at the top frame in the process because my hands are occupied with bulky dinner bags. He marches over and helps, bringing them to the desk. All walks of life scatter in this lobby and pay no mind, unlike the townspeople outside.

He throws a weird glance. "What's this for?"

"You moved my things instead of throwing them out."

"My goodness, really? It's common decency."

"Trust me. In this town? Not common."

His mouth opens to retaliate but words stuck. He finally shuts up and nods. "I guess—" Of course he wants to get a word in.

"Shut up and eat. Come on. Where are your siblings?"

I go behind the desk and sit on a chair next to him. Dinners are mashed potatoes with gravy, fried chicken, vegetable soups, and beef stew. Not my favourite nor distaste by the general of it, but Aunt Jaclyn's cooking is refined! I should have asked her for this recipe. I will share it with—

Right, Ki can't enjoy food. I absolutely get her. Back then, I would not even dare turn myself into a durian. Muhl laughed at me when I told her this. The possible scenarios were horrific! Imagine being pried open and having your insides devoured. Sounds perverted outside of context. Blegh.

Well, if Ki does it to me...

"Out with my parents, Aht. They got out of school and went to a restaurant straightaway."

Clearing out my deviant libidinous thoughts, I rub my sore forehead. "Why didn't you join them?"

"Not in the right heart to join. I'm fine staying right here." Or he is mostly afraid to go outside after being harassed last year, from what he told me.

"Theo, will you ever feel safe?"

"I will when I get out of this stupid town."

"Where to?"

"Australia!"

I chuckle, shaking my head. It's good he is a dreamer, I just hope he will actually go through with his plans.

"So."

Haish, he catches me off guard with an elbow nudge while I'm slurping a mouthful of stew.

"What?" I snap.

"Kicked a puppy?"

"Do I look like I would?"

"You seem guilt-ridden. I think-"

"It's rhetorical, Theo," I grumble.

"You're always dodging questions."

I watch the lodgers going in and out, eating, and talking. "I'm falling in love."

"Really!?" The lodgers glance at us with wordless questions. Theo nods at them with a reassuring grin and they are back to their business. He asks me in a small tone, "Is it her? She reciprocates?"

"Yes, and she told me she will fall for me."

He coos while chewing his food. "So why do you look like...?"

"She's a spirit, remember?"

"And?"

"It is forbidden!"

"By whom?"

How to say this exactly to him? "...By God."

"The God?"

"One and only."

He glares at me suspiciously. "How do you know?"

Oh bother. "Uh. She told me."

"Alright. God knows everything, correct? He must have known about you two."

That's... true because I thought of it too, but I can't shake off this worry. What do I worry about exactly? Ki wants to protect me from prying eyes. Eyes... Shit, I forgot about them. "Even if God is flexible enough to allow us to be in love, the other spirits aren't easy."

"Other spirits??"

"Millions of them. They won't be happy when the rule is probably bent for us."

"Why?"

I revealed too much. Pouting my lips, I stir the stew. His actions falter. "I can't tell you more. I'm sorry, Theo."

"No, no, don't be. I know I can get a little ahead of myself with these things when I'm only a human. Not every piece of knowledge has to be passed down. Sometimes we have these moments of—"

"Entitlement to know?"

He chuckles. "Way to soften the blow on our egos, Mr Aht. But yes, that."

'Our' egos. Huh... I'm a human now. He places his hand on my shoulder, anchoring me without knowing.

"All I'm saying is, go for it. Fall freely and happily with her. Because the other spirits are not your God. Not hers."