{ KI }

Aht.

Aht. Aht. Aht. I wonder what he's doing now— I'm dumb! He's sleeping of course! Normally, I wouldn't be bored. I would have listened to the crickets sing, bathe in the moonlight, and play with the animals near the forest to let the time pass by. Us spirits have official meetings once in a while. Right now, however, I'm not in the mood for any of those. But for Aht.

Why him? Why do I feel at home with him despite being in my own home? I don't even know him. The reasons I gave him weren't hitting the bullseye from what I feel, even though they are valid reasons.

I stare at the river, where he cleaned himself up. Where he ate my fruits heartily. Where I get to see him up close. I shouldn't be fixated on this one human because I had seen countless spirits and humans throughout my life. Hoping the morning comes faster, so I can see him and get my answers.

____________________

"Kiiii, what are you up to? I'd like to bid farewell before visiting the north. It'll be a long time."

I stop singing to the bunnies, searching for Fomu. He takes shape and perches on a tree above me.

"Singing."

His eyebrows shoot up. "To the bunnies? Isn't it hard?"

What does he mean by it? "Why is it hard? All night, I'm—"

"You've been singing for them the whole night??"

"What's the matter?" I'm close to irritation if he doesn't explain soon.

"...You hate singing to them because they love love songs. You told me it's difficult because you will get teary-eyed."

Oh dear, I'm in deep. "Uhm..." I'm surprised he remembers, though.

"Ki. What is going on?" A suspicious look swims over him.

Might as well tell him. Fomu flits around, never staying long enough to break out a single secret to anyone. "I met a man," I mutter.

"I...? I beg your pardon?"

"A human man. He stumbled upon here yesterday. We... talked."

His mouth opens, yet hasn't uttered a word. Until he blinks and exclaims, "You never let a human stay long on your meadow. And the love songs?"

"Oh no! I'm not in love..." I scratch my nape, trying to sort out my feelings.

He flashes me a sympathetic smile. "You know one day you will?"

That's it. That's the bullseye. "I don't know why I feel like this. He's a random human!"

"Maybeee a random person who turns themselves into greatness, like many historical figures before."

"He is not famous. He was just a slave and a traveler before." Pondering more on Aht's features, I sigh, "A brusque man with softness inside."

"Maybe he has achieved greatness in your standard."

"My standard is utmost understanding."

"You see? He must be extremely so."

Another bullseye. "Even towards our kind and his fellow humans; substantially towards me. He wasn't dismissive... He offered me books too."

"Some human he is! Wait? He'll come here again?"

With a sheepish smirk, I nod. He sighs. Bah, lecture again. Thankfully, Taq's not around. She always adds fuel.

"Ki."

"He's my friend!"

"A friend? Look, there will be—"

"Trouble, I know. That's why this is a secret."

"We both know that. What I mean is, there will be heartbreak."

Aht is a friend! An attractive friend whom I might fall for and a friend who is... also attracted to me. Oh dear. "I'll stomp down my infatuation then."

"The way you talk about him isn't some infatuation. I have known you forever, and you never had this smile."

"What smile??"

"A serene smile."

"I...? I'm pretty serene from time to time." Mmmm well, he'll call me out on it.

"Bullpoop, you're content but never serene. You're longing for something."

Worth a shot. "Whatever, he's attracted sexually. Nothing more."

He carefully asks, "Are you sure?"

"Why'd you make me second guess myself?"

"Listen! I care for you and worry about you. If he is only attracted to you sexually, why did he offer you books?"

"He likes to help...?"

"Did he tell anyone else about you for fame?"

"I don't think so. If he did, this place would've been ambushed by now."

"Did he constantly ask you for sex?"

"Of course not. It's the opposite. He's a good listener, quick to understand, given small and accurate words, and has a soothing voice. He offered my food to share with me back—" A titter escapes through his lips in whistles! "Fomu!" He barks with laughter. I harrumph, sulking from his merry mockery. "Stop mocking me."

"I'm not, Ki! I promise! I'm worried for you but happy because he probably feels the same as you."

"How do you know?"

"You said he's a brusque man. How do you know there is a softness in him? Why did he show it to you?"

A mere thought of Aht, who maybe reciprocates, warms my whole being. I chuckle and shake my head. When Fomu calms himself down, I whisper, "Don't worry. I'm immortal, unchanging with constant changes around me. Let me brave through this change for once, no matter the outcome."

"Please take care of yourself then."

"You as well."

He gives a weak smile and nods. Afterward, he gets up and winks, dissolving into the wind again and gliding away.

The dawn breaks. I hope Aht will come soon— Aht!

He's coming here! His body scent is powerful, despite being in the forest from afar. I cannot stop myself from running in his direction, much joyous since he comes early. I wait at the edge of it and bounce on my feet. Fiddling my hair in anticipation, I hear him... huff and puff?

"Ki?"

There he is! Emerging from the thick greens with a large rucksack in his arms. He has a towering figure for the current human height, but the bag he carries almost overpowers him. He peeks out from behind, and I can't stop smiling and bouncing. His handsome grin falters when he watches me. His cheeks are pinker.

"What's wrong, Aht?"

"Nothing. Come on."

He paces toward the flower part of my field as he avoids looking my way, putting the sack down carefully with a sigh. His hair is in a messy fishtail braid, and he wears a casual shirt and pants. As normal as he attempts to be, this doesn't diminish how distinctive he is from all the beings I've met before.

"Please tell me, Aht? Friends are honest with each other."

"I agree, but..." He shoots a side glance. His face is practically red.

"Because I'm naked?"

"You can stay naked! But uh... It'll take some time for me—" To his surprise, I materialize a dress on my body. "Huh."

{ AHT }

"You like it?"

Her short, pink sundress is innocent enough, albeit it hugs her sinful curves very well, and the very wide collar shows more of her tantalising skin. As if she wants to seduce me... Pfft! Not everything she does is for you. Get a grip, Aht. Nevertheless, she is lovely as always.

"Of course I do. I'm concerned if you're uncomfortable with wearing clothes on?"

"I am comfortable either way. No importance to me." She hums in a light tune. "I'm taking pity on you."

"Oh reaaally?" I smirk involuntarily. If she keeps being playful...

"Yes, you would get aroused like last night and have no release since you don't want to explore sex with me." Her wonderful, teasing grin with her hands clasping on the back, her body angling down and swaying, and her plunging cleavage... Clench my heart as a death grip.

Deep breaths. "Are you still seducing me?"

"Perhaps?"

"Oh please, Ki..."

She frowns, curling her lips. I wish I'm able to kiss her discontent away. "Oh alright. I'll behave. For your sake. Can I hug you, though?"

"You're a hugger, aren't you?"

"...Frankly, you are the only person I ever hugged."

I'm a little shocked because she has friends. Even she has this realisation look. "How come? You've never tried it with your friends?" I frown.

"Um no. Spirits are friendly but distant from each other and humans if you didn't know. It's odd, now that I think about it. You, however, are welcoming under roughness."

I hug her instead. She is rigid at first but quickly hugs me back, if not, tighter than mine. I sway our bodies together, pulling a sweet giggle out of her. For a first-time hugger, she is great at giving them.

Welcoming, she said. I shake my head. "This is ironic."

"What is?"

"People see me as a very intimidating man. After I talk for a very long while, they'll warm up to me. So when you said that..." I scoff, amused. I sit down among the flowers and directly in front of the sunrise, bringing my braid to the front because it's messy.

Her chin jerks up. "I stick by my word."

I flash her a grateful smile. If she's the only one who thinks I'm welcoming right off the bat, I'm already a happy creature.

"I realized something. Your neck is bandaged but how come your ankle is good as new?" She throws a glance at the rucksack. "You carried this large thing too."

Play it smooth. "It healed fast. Besides, it's a minor sprain, easier to fix up."

"Hmm." She looks down at me suspiciously, oh bother. Though at last, she shrugs and smiles. I never met a sincere, smiley spirit before her.

She goes behind me and sits down too. What is she up to? "Ki? Why are you behind me?"

"Your braid, my dear. I'll do it."

"Tha-thank you."

She takes my hair from my hand and starts to braid, humming sweetly all the while. I wonder what it feels like if she tugs my hair... with a moan. Damn it, get your head out of the gutter!

I pipe up, "I didn't know you can braid— I mean! You are knowledgeable, you've shown me that, but tying up hair is a very mundane thing to do."

"I know." She finishes up and... kisses my crown. God, I'm suffering. Tremendously soothed but fucking suffering here. "They're the best part," she whispers to my ear and her hands caress down to my chest, feeling me up...

Her touches can make any being down to their knees because my goodness. Goosebumps on my nape and arms as a stab of arousal shoots down to my south. Calm down, calm down.

I whirl around, face-to-face, at a respectable distance. Oh shave my hair off, her beauty knocks my breath out every time. With a long inhale, I pull the rucksack to my side. "Let me guess, it makes them more human?"

"Why are you like this, Aht?" Aihh?? She flays—is it the right word?—out her arms, breathing heavily and staring into my soul. "You're too understanding. How? You're quick to get me, how I think, what my reasons are. Are you a mind reader? Can I open up your skull and prod your brain?"

When her hands squish my cheeks and check my head, I can't stop laughing at her endearing, dark humour.

{ KI }

His thick laughs are music to my ears! Quite exciting to cause his joy.

He takes my hands after I rub his cheeks and kisses my palms fervently... Soon, he freezes up and glances at me with deprecatory eyes. I get it. His loving nature was buried deep inside and bursts open now, like me.

I kiss his hands too, causing his cheeks to redden. Perhaps I'm doomed. For this man.

"Ehem. You silly. As I said before. Empathising, remember?" He watches me carefully.

"Alright, alright..." I mutter. He then pulls out something from the rucksack. A book. "All of them are books?"

"All from my travels. The ones I think are great anyway buuuut I haven't read them all. I would've used a briefcase but weirdly, that will create suspicion among townspeople," he giggles.

"A town?"

"At the other side of the forest."

"Oh? Why they have never come here?"

"There's a town legend about you."

Even a reclusive creature like myself had people talking? A legend too! "Truly?" I lie down on my belly with my chin propped on my palm. Intrigued, I look up at him and motion him to continue. He gazes at me softly...

"There were Native Americans who left you alone for your peace. Intruders will be dust or blood."

"All correct!" Impressive that this legend doesn't stray away.

"You are something," he chuckles in disbelief.

"Something good?"

"Something incredible." He lays an open book on my head in a gentle manner. "What do you want to read first?"

"SEX!" I laugh at his shock, and he turns resigned.

"Why are you so obsessed with it?"

"I'm not. I'm... curious about it. They are literally making love to show undying love for each other. Some others lack sexual desires and still don't invalidate their love, while other people who don't love each other have gotten physically intimate."

"It is weird, hm?"

"Strange. That's what makes it fascinating."

"You call humans it?"

"The intimacy act itself. Humans aren't fascinating anymore, only their blessings like their bodies and their creations. No offense."

He stares at me in bewilderment. "None taken. Why you're not anymore?"

"I know there are good ones among them. It's a shame when the rotten ones are in charge of the world and others are either forced or swayed to follow."

"True. Wars were initiated because of ego and power. Pathetic since they're fragile in the first place. Easy to kill in one swoop."

"Exactly."

"Not to mention, they take their blessings for granted. Never appreciate them until they're gone." He's firing up and more correct.

"EXACTLYYY."

"It's befuddling, isn't it? They create long-lasting legacies and roar out their beliefs into the system, even though they'll crash down and be replaced by new beliefs in mere centuries. How short their times are but still passionately live. They are grasping for straws but not without leaving it in a bang."

...My head tilts while he's staring at the horizon. Insightful. Too insightful for his fellow kind. Maybe few humans do hold their silver linings. "You're speaking a lot of points there."

"Uh sorry! Rambling again." He's trembling.

"You're not—"

"I'll keep quiet. Don't worry."

I can see he's trying his best not to be embarrassed. Flashes an apprehensive grin. I won't let this pass. People had the nerve to shut him up until he couldn't talk to his heart's content.

"No. You keep talking, Aht."

"So-sorry?"

"Talk. Please, I like listening to you. You can be yourself with me." His eyes are filled with tears but they don't fall because he blinks them away, and my heart shrinks. What awful things he had experienced before? "My dear Aht..."

He watches me intensely. Then, he closes his eyes and chuckles. "Thank you."

"Don't ever mention it. You're my friend."

"And you are mine."

My breath hitches soon after. My whole being is warm. Why do I like it? Why do I like to be his? He meant it as a friend but those words tempt me... want for him.

"Ki, are you okay?"

"I'm... I'm fine. Want to read a sex book, though."

"Uuggh fine. Just don't seduce me."

"How to learn if there's no hands-on?" My eyebrows wiggle before he shoots me a side glare.

"You have to suffer like me. Or beg for me." A naughty glint in his eyes, and I have to tone down this heat. Keep it together, Ki.

"Haven't found it?" I ask.

"Maybe the rucksack is a bad idea, albeit I don't want the books to collect dirt if I let them all out. Can't see anything in this damn thing!"

Poor cutie. "I'll help you." With our heads together in the sack, we search until I've found this big book. "Ka...? Kama Sutra."

"WHOA! Whoa. Not yet, Ki. This book is uh... very explicit."

"It has people having sex on the cover."

He's flushing like red poppies. I wonder if his blush travels all the way down to— Why I'm wondering about this? My word, so many whys.

"Please, Ki. They are filled with diverse sex positions. And... love related topics."

"That's amazing! I can't wait."

He gulps audibly and searches more. "Here it is. Basic human anatomy and reproduction."

"Thank you, my dear."

"I'm serious, Ki. No seducing and sex with me." He hands over the book to me while his blush hasn't receded yet.

Okay, I'm uncomfortable. Have I pushed him all this time? ...Coerced him? Oh heavens. "I'm so deeply sorry, Aht." Pain squeezes my throat. I've made him feel unsafe. My eyes are getting wet. "I made you uncomfortable with the sex and the—"

"Hold on! Sweetheart, you never make me feel uncomfortable, okay? Is that clear?" He shakes my shoulder firmly, and his disbelief frown morphs into a fond look.

"O-okay."

He kisses my forehead and opens other books. "You remember when I can't say no to you?"

"I do. Your body said yes but your heart said no, right?"

"Wrong. Do you remember what I said too? About I want you so much?"

It slipped out of my memory. Heat takes space in my cheeks. "I remember it now."

"My heart said yes too but my mind said no because we're different. I don't want to get you in trouble."

Right. Different. "There were spirits who broke the rules by having sex with humans and got away with it."

"Love is different, Ki." Love? His shoulders tense and his brows furrow, it seems like he's bracing himself up to say something. "I must admit. I will fall in love with you as time goes by."

"Ha?" My shock is amplified when he holds my hands tightly and seems on the verge of falling apart.

"Please let me finish, I don't think I can repeat another confession. If you have sex with me, my feelings for you will be strong and attached because you're my friend. I can't distance myself from you because it's not your fault for my feelings. It will be a huge mess," he says with a heaving sigh.

Wow. This... Wow. Little overwhelmed here. "You are romantic at heart?"

He grimaces, embarrassed. "I know it's pathetic."

"Not pathetic. I am romantic in secret since my friends think it's a foolish notion. I had to repress it."

He absorbs my words attentively, and his look of wonder surfaces. "But why risk your nature with the sex and by choosing me?"

"Funny story because I know I will fall in love with you too one day."

"Goodness," he gasps. Trying to grasp my words, his eyes dart all over my face. Affection wells up in me... Oh how clueless he was about his impact on me. He bites his lip. "What should we do? Don't tell me we'll stop being friends?"

"No, absolutely not." I put our hands close to my chest. "That's unthinkable. Impossible. How can you say that?"

"Oh Ki," he mumbles when his lips rest on my cheek.

"We will stay friends, okay?"

"I don't want to break your heart."

"You won't. I won't break yours, because if we stop now, my whole being will be crushed. If, Their Highness forbid, an ill-fated circumstance comes, let's create memories until then."

His face screws up in agony...

"I'll let you go if you want to stop now." I look down, can't bear his rejection if I see his face. I was selfish.

"No. No no. No! I'm just worried for your heart because I am not immortal. I'm all in if you can accept that I'll be gone. Can you?"

My tears well up. I can see why it's forbidden for our respective kinds to be in love. Why did I forget his time is short? I hug him.

"Sweetheart, please. It pains me to see you like this." His soothing shushes drift on my hair while he's rubbing my back.

"I'm all in, Aht. Rather have you in a short time than nothing at all. I'll keep you protected from prying eyes."

He hugs me securely. His breaths are shaky, then he clears his throat. "You have me. Always. Maybe we will lose feelings for each other."

Lose feelings. I know and he knows that's a terrible lie because he seems very well-educated about our kind. Most humans may lose infatuation due to rejection for flaws and growth. Spirits, too, are flighty with feelings, no matter how repressed they are. Us higher spirits are not the same. We're almost impossible to love but once love or in love, it's almost impossible to lose it. And Aht... He's no ordinary human.

Then, a wonderful smile etches his lips over the sadness. If he can, I can.

"But no sex?" I tease.

He guffaws and kisses my closed eyes. It's a genuine question but I'm happy when he's loosening up more... "As much as I want to sate your curiosity, I'd like for you to feel good as well instead of me alone."

"I understand. Experiments aren't necessary when you give me these books. I just want you to enjoy sexual highs. It's been part of my intention since last night."

He looks at me in amazement. Suddenly, I feel shy.

"Not just curiosity then? You wanted to please me?"

"...Yes."

"God help me." His forehead rests against mine and his eyes close shut.