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𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖋𝖆𝖍


My hand trembled slightly as I brought my fist up to the door and knocked before retracting it quickly. Fuck I shouldn't be doing this, I should've just sent the stupid email. But if I emailed it would've been putting the power in his hands and made our conversation on his terms and I didn't want that either.

I bounced on the balls of my feet as I waited for someone, anyone, to open the door. Maybe I got the address wrong? I'd even written it down on a small piece of paper that I was currently holding with my right hand as my left was holding two cups of coffee.

Well one cup of coffee, the other one was a hot chocolate because I had professionally childish tastebuds. I looked down at the cup frowning, what if he doesn't like coffee either? I just bought it because I bought myself something and I didn't want to show up empty-handed because that was rude.

But I did buy myself a chocolate croissant because I deserved a sweet treat for even being brave enough to come here. Being scared and running away from things I'm curious about? Never. However my nerves did end up getting the best of me and as soon as the door swung open a sentence that can only be accurately described as word vomit flew out of my mouth.

"Hello, very nice to meet you, did you by chance happen to kill Sunisa Taing?"

The dog barking in the yard on the other side of the street filled the awkward silence between us as the man in front of me eyed me from head to toe with his eyes lingering on my head. "Nice to meet you too," He replied slowly.

"I brought you a coffee," I gestured to the two cups in my hand, "But I realise now that opening that way might make me look like a complete weirdo and you won't want to drink it anymore," I sighed, setting the drinks down to balance on the railing of the staircase to his home. "I don't want to take too much of your time," I promised reaching into my satchel to pull out some papers that were annotated screenshots. "Of course, you don't have to answer any of my questions, I'm nobody but I was just hoping you'd give me five minutes. You don't have to let me into your home or anything we can even go to the coffee shop-

"Versailles...Mostafah?" He questioned, as if finally remembering something.

I blinked, stuffing the papers beneath my armpit, "Uh yes?" I winced realising how he must know me. "I assume we've met before?" I tried hoping it was not the other thing.

He crossed his arms, "If you consider me watching you die on live television, 'meeting', I think you've met a lot of people."

"Yes, it would seem I'm quite popular," I swallowed, curling my lips into my mouth, "That was a bad joke."

"It really was," He agreed but the corner of his lips cracked with a smile that let me know I was getting to him. "Do you want to come inside?" He finally asked.

"Yeah that would be great," I nodded, grabbing the cups again, "So...coffee?"

"If it's free," He shrugged, taking his drink out of its holder and taking a sip.

"Even if I might've done something to it?" I reminded him, as he let me into his home.

He snorted, "I'll take my chances."

The house was cosy, not at all what I'd expect for a bachelor pad. It had a surprisingly warm colour scheme, with throws at the end of both couches and matching couch cushions with intricate embroidery. Even the artwork in his home blended well with the theme of the house. I was about to commend him for his eye for interior design when I finally looked behind me, and there it was.

A large portrait of him and Sunisa. On their wedding day.

She looked a lot more filled with life here frozen in the lens of a camera. A lot more lively than she'd looked on any of her vlogs and videos online. Her golden hair was up in a beautiful updo that framed her round face in a very flattering way, paired with the sunset in the background she practically looked like she was glowing.

"You and Sunisa were," The rest of the words didn't leave my throat as I caught sight of the thin gold band around his finger as he took another sip of his coffee.

"Married," He finished for me before walking past me to take his seat on his couch. "You said you'll keep this short and look I have nothing to hide so I'll make your trip a lot shorter. You're wondering if I killed Sunisa McIntyre," He corrected me, "And your answer to that question is yes."

"Right," I nodded, happy we weren't beating around the bush or lying about things we both knew were true. "And for how long did she want to die?"

After binge watching all of Suni's content I had an aching to figure out why on earth anyone would try to kill her. And more importantly, why they hadn't caught her murderer. I looked up the hotel room she'd stayed at on the day she died and it was tighter than a vault, which meant the only person who could've had access to her was someone she had to have let in the room.

Now Sunisa kept her life private despite her impressive activism. Her immediate family were on the internet but any friends and potential romantic partners were nowhere to be found, she was never seen with anyone in a casual setting. However on one of her early videos right after her blessing, she got a call in the middle of recording and although the phone was almost totally out of the frame it was there enough for me to catch the caller photo of her with her cheek pressed up against some man.

The man who was currently sitting in front of me.

I am no detective but I was able to follow up on Sunisa's little fan-pages where there was specifically one that had an invasive picture of Suni on his lap in her old apartment. She quickly moved out of this apartment and that was the last post of that fan-page.

But that along with some more slip-ups from Sunisa, some very uncomfortable calls with his work place and going to the hotel myself to take a look at it was enough. I just followed a couple more hunches and pulled some loose strings together when I couldn't pinpoint where to tie them too.

This question surprised him and made him think for a second before he replied, "I think a more accurate question would be how long was she willing to stay alive for," His entire face softened, "As you can see, not long enough."

"So she faked her murder?"

He winced, "I think I would prefer assisted suicide," He took another sip of his drink, "I think she wanted an end that the world would find peace with. She didn't want to be remembered as another person blessed who lost their minds but if you ask me, Suni was going to die with or without my help."

A deep sadness washed over me, "You think she would've killed herself if left to it on her own?"

He shook his head," The Gods were going to kill her first."

I took out the papers from underneath my arm and I stared down at them. I had a screenshot from Sunisa's first video and the one she posted just before she died. I had the video after her blessing when she was moaning about how bad she looked as a blonde and the video when she discovered her power.

Then there were the ones in between that. The videos of her talking about her nightmares and how she had trouble sleeping. She had constant dreams about drowning in quicksand and claimed she kept getting lost in the small woodland that she walked on her way to work because trees kept popping up in places they hadn't been the day before.

She started videoing her walks and would shriek at the greenery, asking the camera if we'd seen it move like she had. When she finally came out as useful the media covered her vlogs and the entire world was endeared by her and how clumsy she was but I recognized what she was going through because I'd been going through it for three years now.

Suni was losing her mind. 

The aftermath of her experience was clear to me, she moved to a highrise apartment in a concrete city and when she'd done a house tour for a magazine the interviewer had even asked why someone with such a green thumb had not even a cactus in their home. The only time people would see her around greenery was when she was helping the planet, otherwise, she completely moved from her more nature-filled country and hadn't returned till the day she died.

"It's not an easy thing you guys go through," He acknowledged, and for a second I felt like for once someone could actually see me. "I think if I could have gone back in time I would've told her not to take the opportunity and stay normal like the rest of us."

"Do you think she would've?" I asked cautiously, "If she knew that she was going to go through it all, would she have done it again?"

He was quick to answer me this time, "In a heartbeat."



"I can't believe you got on a plane to come and ask me like five questions," Declan laughed as he turned into the airport. "You should've sent me an email."

"I wanted to," I defended as we got out of the car, "But I didn't want you to think I was police or that I was some reporter trying to get a juicy story."

He shook his head, taking my backpack out of the car, "Don't go coming here again, I only helped you out because that's what Suni would've wanted me to do," He told me, handing me my bag, "I've told you everything I know and to be quite honest I'm quite shit at giving advice but I will tell you this hermit crab lifestyle you're so keen on living is not doing anyone any favours."

I frowned, "Hermit crab?"

"Don't lie to me," He put his hand up, "I did a quick Google search on you when you were in hospital three years ago. Almost dying and having one person come visit you is the craziest thing I've ever heard."

"It's not like I can force people to visit me," I silenced my phone that was ringing, probably my pilot letting me know the jet was ready. "and I don't need all of that anyway, I've been on my own since my parents passed and I've always been okay with that."

"Yeah, look," He rubbed the space between his eyes, "Maybe that worked when you were just the kid of two criminals. It was easier that way, right? Don't let anyone in so they don't ask too many questions because you don't have answers. But this?"

He pointed at the top of my head, "This needs someone to lean on. People to rely on. Numbers to call and faces you trust," I sniffed quietly and tried to look away but he grabbed my shoulder lightly, "Don't give me that teenager 'I'm all alone and woe is me' bullshit. Don't let them kill you Versailles, they will drive you to the brink of madness if you let them."

"No one will believe me-

"No one believed her either," He looked almost pained to admit it, "And she died, loved and completely misunderstood. You have to be better than that. You know more than she ever did and that's because she documented her suffering up to the last second. Find a person you can count on, Versailles, don't die because you want to look strong- you aren't."

An escort to my plane came out to lead me through the process of boarding and I didn't look back at the bitter Irishman as she led me away. His words rang through my mind along with the sunken face of Suni with her hair thinning and deep dark circles around her eyes.

Walking through the airport, I almost walked passed someone who had me stopping in my tracks and looking back. "Miss Mostafah?" The lady in uniform called when she realised I wasn't following behind her.

"Just a moment," I replied, not looking at her, "I want to go get something from one of the shops."

When the figure saw me heading for it its eyes widened slightly, it turned around and started walking away from me. Not in the mood, I picked up my pace until I was practically speed walking after it- weaving my way through the crowds whilst keeping my eyes trained on the black braids with the worn-out blonde roots.

I finally got close enough to reach out my hand and grab them on the shoulder when my fingers went right through them. I stared at the empty space in front of me as people walked past me, apologising when they bumped into me, "I won't let you win," I muttered to myself but I knew who I was talking to.

And I knew they heard me.

"Miss Mostafah!"

I turned around to see the attendant from earlier finally keeping up with me, panting slightly when she came to a stop. "So sorry for yelling but you weren't hearing me earlier," She explained, taking her hair out of her eyes, "I was just trying to tell you the shops are in the opposite direction."

"Silly me," I smiled, facepalming myself. "I've been here before so I thought I remembered the way. Guess not?" I adjusted my backpack before making my way to the check-in desk.

"Wait," She stopped me, "Didn't you want to buy something?"

I shook my head, " I remembered I actually have everything I need."


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