𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖋𝖆𝖍

"The world's worst daughter, huh?"

My lips pressed together, and I swallowed the lump in my throat before it could form something else. Sighing, I put the bouquet of roses underneath my armpit and approached the graves closer. I rubbed my thumb over the spray paint that made the stones stand out in a sea filled with grey rock.

I always wondered why the world was so adamant on giving them a burial, I'd insisted on cremation, but when it came down to it they ignored me and buried my parents anyway. Umoja Mostafah and Amon Mostafah were carved in a simple font onto their even simpler headstones. There was nothing else beneath their names.

No Loving mother and spouse or cherished son and husband. Just their names and the rock.

I understood now that the world wanted a place to bury them so that they could have a place to dance on their graves. A physical reminder that they were dead and could no longer torment rich people everywhere. Graffiti, some fresh and others a bit older, was painted in layers on the tombstones. Slurs and insults for everyone to see just in case anyone forgot how bad they were and needed some reminding.

There were also symbols of peace and anarchy: small cards left by people who'd never met them praising them for refusing to bow to the rules and being brave enough to break them, and shrines from sick fans who had created an idea of them in their heads and were running with it even to their graves.

Combined, their graves were the most lively in the graveyard.

"I should probably visit more often," I admitted out loud as I took apart the ribbon binding the bouquet together. "But better late than never, right?" I joked, placing roses on each of their graves. They stood out against the graffiti and weird shrines like a sore thumb. Once the bouquet had no more roses, I sank to sit down on the cold, slightly damp ground, glad it was in the evening so nobody was here to see me.

The last thing I wanted was to be associated with their memory, more than I already was, that is.

"I know you both probably don't care but those were actually supposed to be for a cute girl," I shook my head sighing at the irony, "She stood me up, of course, which is why I'm here at all."

I picked up one of the cards in front of my mother's grave and frowned when I realized it was a love letter written by someone who spoke about her in a way that made my stomach turn. "I know none of us are supposed to know what we're doing," I rambled on, curling the sickening card into my fists, "But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one alive doing it wrong-shit!"

Through the white-blue lights that lit up the gravesite, I could see dark red blooming on my finger, a large paper cut from the base of my index finger to the tip glaring at me angrily. "Can't even-" I cursed, holding my finger to my t-shirt to wipe off the blood, "Rip paper right."

Seeing that the blood was not slowing down anytime soon, I got to my feet again, dusting off the leaves and dirt from my jeans. "Well, that brings me to the end of this visit," I stuffed my hands in my pockets, "It was lovely seeing you though, if I remember I'll try sending someone too," I gestured to everything around their graves, "Clean this up."

I almost felt bad for leaving so soon, but the larger part of me rationalized it with 'they were shitty parents anyway' and with that, I left making sure not to look back because I knew if I did I'd stay the whole night.

Their funeral was a blur to me, none of their families had reached out to come. Nobody, not even their parents. I had no idea if I had aunts, uncles, or secret cousins out there, but then again I had no interest in finding out either. When they died and I was discovered, my face was plastered on every news station and their death was televised for the whole world to see, if that wasn't enough for them to reach out, then there was nothing else to say.

I should bring more flowers, I thought to myself, my mum really loved hydrangeas, maybe a few of those. My thoughts were cut off by my next step sinking into the ground, I shrieked, tumbling on my back as my leg refused to come out. Finally paying attention, I leaned forward to see what I'd stepped in before realizing what I'd previously thought was the dark black ground was a small sticky pool.

Of blood.

God's blood, showing up when I needed them the least, as usual. It was thick and mixed with some of some of the surrounding dirt, which created a stew that had me sinking into it. I brought out my phone to turn on the flashlight and groaned when I realized it wasn't just a small pool but a place in the graveyard where it had gathered deeper, surrounding where I was were small cracks that ran off into the rest of the graveyard-also filled with the dark substance.

"Not the time!" I yelled out into the empty graveyard, my head pointed up at the night sky where the moon stared at me almost judgementally. Yeah, definitely not one of my proudest moments. I attempted to drag my foot out of the hole, but after several minutes, it became obvious this wasn't working. Therefore, I used my uninjured hand to grip my ankle and try to pull it out.

"This," my face contorted with strain as my leg remained stuck where it was, "Might just be the worst day of my life," I let out a breath, realizing I would need to use my other hand. This is a recipe for an infection, I thought to myself as I brought my bloody hand to the pool.

As soon as my fingertips touched the pool, gold bloomed, it started off small but began to travel throughout the pool before eventually leaking out to the cracks that ran all around me. "What the," I breathed, my leg suddenly easy to slip out, but that was no longer the height of my concerns.

The bright colour lit up the dark ground better than the overhead lamps, making the ground appear to almost be glowing. Even as I scurried out of the graveyard and drove home, the gold followed me, running along each street I drove on.

Watching the road made me forget to watch the street, which had me swerving out of the road dangerously when a person suddenly showed up in the middle of nowhere. I panted as I struggled to regain control of the car, looking back to call out a sorry when I caught sight of the reflection of them in my rearview mirror.

The red rear lights reflected off their hair, but the blonde peeking out of the black braids was still clear as day. I couldn't see what their face looked like, but I had a pretty good guess considering they were wearing exactly what I wore on that day. Their jagged broken bones protruded out of the flesh on their back and elbows, coming out of the oversized tee shirt that was soaked in red and gold.

Just as I thought my mind was playing tricks on me as I exchanged worried glances with the mirror whilst trying to keep my eyes on the road, their head fell back to face the sky and a loud, long laugh echoed through the empty night.

"I'm sorry you wouldn't mind repeating what you just said, would you?"

The interviewer looked at me almost pitifully and asked, "Are you alright, dear? You seem rather," she put the cap back on her pen and said, "Tired."

I tried my hardest to form a convincing smile, "Didn't get much sleep last night," I said softly, trying to sit up a bit straighter, "I moved into a new place this weekend so I'm still settling in but I'll be fine."

She looked wary of my excuse but continued nonetheless, "Well I asked about where you got the idea for your studies from," She sifted through some of the files in front of her, offscreen so I couldn't see exactly what she was reading. "I'm sure we can both agree that this is rather a bold idea, especially considering you're essentially trying to prove that what the gods do isn't real."

"Not that it isn't real," I corrected her, my leg bouncing from the coffee I took a few minutes ago, "Rather that we are all capable of it and we as 'humans' can carry out miracles too because they are not magic and there is a science behind them."

Her eyebrows raised, "You believe there is a science behind the Gods?"

"I can prove that it's not as unreachable as we've been lead to believe, everything in this world has come from this world, and with science I can show you-

"Miss Mostafah, if you don't mind me asking," she seemed almost amused by me, "Weren't you blessed by the Gods?"

This made my teeth grind together, "Well, I wouldn't call it blessed, did I receive the blessing? Yes But-

"I'm not talking about the ceremony and you falling into the fountain," she chuckled, "I'm talking about after that, from what I'm looking at here; your heart stopped three times in the following days after that tragedy," She read from a sheet in front of her, "And you sustained injuries that were so significant that doctors had to be in a constant rotation in and out of the surgery room for hours after it happened."

My knee continued to be erratic until I put my hand on it to cease its movements, "And I'm incredibly grateful-

"Everyone was calling it a wonder that you hadn't died considering people have lost their lives falling from smaller heights," She finally looked up at me, "Medical professionals everywhere doubted you'd wake up again but here you are the woman who broke almost every bone in her body-walking, talking and living like it never happened."

"The doctors who saved my life were very greatly compensated for it, believe me," my eye twitched at the implications of her words.

"You sustained no permanent injuries from what happened to you," She reached up to move her glasses off her face and onto her head, sliding back her red hair that was stained silver with age. "Do you know what most people would call that?"

"The beauty of modern medicine?" I replied dryly, not understanding why we'd moved away from research and numbers. This was not what I had expected when I was told to prepare for an interview for my future university.

"I'm religious," She told me, not a spot of shame on her face, "And I visit the temple of Devulla almost once a year to show my thanks for the wisdom she's blessed me with so I'll just tell you this right now. I don't believe you can do this" She deadpanned, "And in fact, I think you're going to drive yourself crazy trying because whether you believe in them or not? The Gods believed in you."