"A crush? No way!" Lovino growled at Feliciano.
"Of course you do. I can see it in your eyes."
"That isn't...you're wrong. I don't know who that guy was or what his deal was at all."
Feliciano giggled. "At least hang out with him. He carries tomatoes in his pocket."
"Listen here, fuckliciano, I don't need any friends."
"Everybody needs friends. I have Ludwig and Kiku."
"You mean John Cena and Gay Porn Lover."
"Kiku doesn't like gay porn."
"Oh really? Because when you and Loodie are smacking lips he gets this look on his face like he's gonna explode."
Feli rolled his eyes. "What are we having for pre-dinner?"
"Same thing we had for post-lunch yesterday."
"Pene?"
"Si."
"Can we invite your new friend?"
"No."
"Come on!"
"No."
"I'm inviting him."
"Not for pre-lunch. The fact that we even have it is enough to make him say no."
"Pre-lunch is great."
"Not for everybody."
Feliciano sighed. "Can we invite him for dinner?"
"Can we never invite him ever. I don't even know the guy...and the fact that he hangs out with Gilbert-"
"Gilbert is nice."
"He's not. He said really mean things to me when we had that monopoly game last year. I haven't been able to trust him since."
"Oh come on. Vash and Roderich were worse. They were constantly bickering over who saved more money. And then when Vash had to pay for Roddie's hotel and they got in a fist fight."
"Well, I didn't get to see all that happen because I was so heartbroken by Gil's words that I had to leave early."
"He was drunk though."
"You were drunker than him, Feli."
"I was only drinking wine."
"Yeah. Well, this conversation makes me wanna drink bleach. I'm going back to the cottage." Lovino stood and made his way through the sand to the building at the beach's edge.
He climbed the steps and entered, going straight to the fridge for a tomato.
"Who needs friends when I've got you." He said to the fruit in his hand. He plopped down onto the couch and began to eat.