John POV
Alex helped me clean my scars with some stuff he stole from the nurse. I feel safe around him, which is weird. The fact that I trust makes my heart flutter like a butterfly. Like...Alexander Hamilton. The most popular boy in school, helped me. It's pretty amazing but scary at the same time.

The bell ranged and people started to get out of class. Alex just finished cleaning my left leg and I stood up. All of my scars sting, but I was able to stand up. 

" Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Alexander Asked with a concerned look.

" I'll be fine." I say putting on my pants.

" What about Fr-"

" I'll be fine."

" Do you want me to-"

" No."

I truly appreciate Alexander helping me with Francis, but I can do this by myself. I already have a plan. Which is to stay with Francis.

THATS A STUPID IDEA! YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MIND!

I know...but he loves me, and I love him. We have a connection. It was honestly my fault that argument happened. I should of listen to him instead of talking to Alexander. In fact, why am I talking to Alexander??

Because you love him.

No I don't.

Ummm....yes. You do.

Voices you're not help.

I not suppose to talk to him. He's my bully. He hurt me.

" John?"

" Huh?" I say coming back into reality from my previous thoughts. I swear, these voices are the death of me.

" Are you ok? You kinda just blanked out." A worried look hit Alex's face. I nodded before walking out of the bathroom. Usually Francis would walk me to my next class but he was nowhere to be seen. The hallways was crowded full of assholes and thots. There were some nice people, but they were shy or popular. They never talk to me. I wanted to talk to Peggy, but her class was probably on the other side of the building.

Nothing was on my mind but the last night. How Francis tied me up in a chair and took my clothes of. How he cut every part of me while I screamed. How he left me there in the dark, cold room, crying because of the pain for hours. How-

" Oof!" I suddenly fall on the floor. I must of bumped into someone.

" OMG IM SO SORRY-"

" John?"

I look up and see a familiar face. Dark skin. Strong French accent. Tall.

Lafayette....

" Laf?" I say I'm surprised. It's been so long since I talked to him. What was it? ( '85 ) about three weeks? I smile at my best friend.

" Hey-"

" Can we talk?" He asked.

I was a bit shocked at the question. But I simply nodded. Class is about to start and neither of us care. I followed him to the back gate. No one comes this way, so it was quiet. It was a long silent walk. I have never been so awkward in front of a person I know for about my whole life. We finally stop.

" So.....how is life-"

" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" He yells.

I wince a bit. The image of last night was still in my brain lurking around. I'm not a fan of the yelling. " What?"

" I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TALK TO YOU FOR FUCKING WEEKS!!" There are tears in his eyes. I was speechless. I have never seen Laf so mad.

" Shit Laf, I'm sorry. I have been so caught up with Francis-"

" Don't..." he whispered.

" Look. I'm sorry. I was busy with my boyfriend. You know I care about you. It's just feels so amazing to know that someone loves me-"

" I LOVE YOU! YOUR MY BEST FRIEND! YOU CARE MORE ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE THAN ME!"

I started to get a little frustrated. I know my best friend is upset but chill.

" Why can't you just be happy? You make me sound like the bad guy! I get it Lafayette! I fucked up! But instead of being mad, be happy for me that I've met someone! I was happy for you when you met Hercules! Get over yourself!"

" Y-You know what? You're just scared. Everything was fine...then you changed."

" W-What do you mean?"

He looks through my soul.
" I know what Francis does to you John! He doesn't love you! He never did! You're just blind to see that someone out there will treat you right!"

" He's the only one that loves me!" I yell back. Then I remember Alexander. He told me he loved me too. But that was before he started dating Eliza.

" You are so blind." He whispered with tears streaming down his face. He walks away while I stand there in shock. I had my first fight with my best friend. Sure, we had some arguments but this was real. Not who gets the last pizza slice.

I was totally confused about what he means. I'm not blind. I know what's  going on in the world around me.

Maybe Lafayette knows something I don't.

( TIMMEEEEEEE SKIIIPPP )

It was the end of the day and I was waiting for Francis at the front gate. I sure didn't want to disobey this time. Not after that torture. My body still hurts but I didn't show it. After that fight with Laf, I have been thinking nonstop.

What does he mean?

A gush of wind hit my body which causes my cuts to sting. I see Alexander on the other side of the street talking to Eliza. He was smiling to what Eliza was talking about but didn't seem interested. I smile at the way he was looking at her. His awkward face trying to pay attention to whatever Eliza was talking about. It's pretty hilarious. I thought it was so...weird for him to help me out today. It wasn't like him at all. I see Alex turn my way. He gives me a quick smile while I took my eyes.

Wait....

I think for a moment.

What am I afraid of?
Am I afraid of Alexander? Because he loves me? Or Francis?

I'm hella scared of Francis. But what about Alexander. Does he still love me? No. He shouldn't. He has a girlfriend...right? What if he does? He helped me in the bathroom. He saved me from Charles. He turned out to be nicer then before! What am I missing?

I think a little more. I'm scared to get hurt. Alex used to hurt me...

So wait. That's what was missing! My feelings towards Alex!

He loves me but I don't because I was scared to get hurt by him because he was my bully!

Lafayette was right.... I am scared. I am blind.

I do have someone to love.

LONG CAPTER FOR YALL! I deserve a sticker! Sorry if it doesn't make sense. I was kinda rush by my brain to go to sleep. I'm sooo tired. I'm kinda proud of this.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Edit: (12/7/18 ) I was reading is but realized there were A LOT of mistakes. So I fixed them.

Edit#2: ( 8/18/19 ) thanks