The Winchesters' were really happy to see Ash, and that of this bar. It must have been important to them before they met me.

"My God – the Roadhouse," Dean began, stepping down the few steps that went onto another platform - which held the pool table. While Ash bends down and collects his manco-man outfit from the ground. "It even smells the same," Dean remembers the fondness of the smell.

"Bud, blood, and beer nuts –" Ash states, while walking around the bar counter. "It's the best smell in the world," he states, liking the smell as this was Heaven to him. He snapped his fingers, and pointed at the three of us. "How 'bout a cold one? Up here, no hangover," he truly liked that about this place. He placed two beer cans from the counter, and pulled one out for me, and placed it down, his eyes locking onto mine, as he was totally flirting right now. "One for the lady," he held a boyish smirk.

"I'm far from a lady," I remarked with a smug tugging at the corner of my lips. I sat on the bar stool to the right of Dean, and Sam sat around the corner of the bar counter.

"So," Sam's voice states, before Ash could ask anymore questions. "I mean, no offense-"

"How's a dirtbag like me end up in a place like this?" Ash flips his hair out of the way, as he was rocking a mullet. Before rolling his shoulders back, I could hear them crack. "I've been saved, man. I was my congregation's number-one snake handler,"

"And you said this was your Heaven?" Sam asks, as Dean and I cracked open our cans of beers.

"Yep. My own," Ash paused for a moment, as he pierced the bottom of the can, ready to gunshot it. "Personal<" finishes off, wrapping his legs around the hole, tilting back and cracking open the top, and downed the liquid in one. The slurping noise came and went, and he crushed the can, and dropped it to the floor. Before belching for a moment. His eyes met with me, as I couldn't believe what I saw, and he looked smug about it. Like it would impress me.

"And when the Angels jumped us, we were," as Sam spoke, Ash twirled his index finger around his head, before tapping his temple.

"In your Heaven,"

"So there are two Heavens?" Sam was genuinely confused, and it was adorable. I couldn't help but slip out a small chuckle. While bringing up the can to my lips.

"No, more like a one-hundred billion," Ash states casually. "So, no worries. It'll take them angel boys a minute to catch up," Dean was as confused as Sam on this. I, on the other hand, already had knowledge of Heaven - just never thought I'd be about to go up. "See, you got to stop thinking of Heaven as one place. It's more like a buttload of places. All crammed together-"

"Like Disneyland," I interjected, as Ash snapped his finger and pointed at me, indiciating I was right on the nose.

"Except without all the anti-semitism," Ash finished off.

"Disneyland?" Sam wasn't sure of the analogy.

"Yeah, see, you got Winchester Land," Ash puts his fists up, gesturing to the brute force of the men. "Abigael-land, Ashland," he added me into the mix. "A whole mess of everybody-else-lands. Put 'em all together – Heaven, right?" He was very theatrical, and it was fun to see. "At the center of it all is the Magic Kingdom – the garden," he finished his explanation.

"So everybody gets a little slice of paradise?" Dean simplified it down to lesser words that he, and Sam could understand.

"Pretty much. Few people share – special cases, whatnot,"

"What do you mean, 'special'?" Dean didn't understand what he meant by that, and neither did I. It piqued my interest.

"Oh, you know, like... Soul mates," he clenched his fists together, and brought them just inches away from one another. The room became silent for a moment, as I sipped some more from the can. "Anyways... Most people can't leave their own private idahos-"

"But you ain't most people," Dean cuts off Ash, using his index finger to point at him while holding his can.

"Nope. They ain't got my skills," I'm liking him even more now. "Yeah. Hell, I have been all over. Johnny Cash... Andre the Giant... Einstein," Ash turned his gaze to Sam. "Sam, that man can mix a white Russian... Hell, the other day, I found Mallanaga Vatsyayana's,"

"Who?" Sam butted in.

"Wrote 'The Kama Sutra'. That boy's Heaven – oh, sweaty, confusing,"

"All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table," Dean remarks, recalling the memory of Ash when he was alive.

"Yeah, now that I'm dead, I'm livin', man – a whole lot more," Ash was grateful that he died and went to Heaven.

"So, how'd you find us?" Sam was a curious cat, and wanted to know how Ash found us in this maze.

"I rigged up my very own-" Ash bends over and grabs a laptop from under the counter. "Holy rollin' police scanner," he tapped the space-bar and static began to ring out, and these lines of audio dotted the screen. The high pitch sound was kind of deafening to listen to. "That's angels, blabbin' Enochian, ok? I'm fluent," he was smug about that, and tapped the bar once again and the noises stopped. "I heard that you were up... 'Course I had to come find you – again,'' Ash had put the computer away, and popped back up.

"Again?" We all were confused by Ash's statement.

"Ain't the first time you been here. I mean, you boys die more than anyone I have ever met," Ash's head flicked between the brothers.

"Don't have to tell me twice," I gave Ash a pointed look, as he smirks at me.

"Really?" Dean states, as he nor Sam had any recollection of these times being in Heaven.

"Ah, yeah, you don't remember. God! Angels – must have windexed your brains," Ash gave an explanation to why they don't remember.

"So, uh, I mean, have you found anybody else? Ellen and Jo?" As the names rolled off Sam's lips, Ash went into disbelief.

"Ellen and Jo are dead?" Ash couldn't believe what he was hearing. His eyes flickered between Dean and Sam. Dean didn't want to relive the memory that caused him pain.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, a few months now. Sorry,"

"Um," Ash clears his throat, finding it a bit tough to swallow the information. "Uh, they went down fightin'?" He asked, eyes locking back onto Sam.

"Yeah – to the end,"

"Yeah, a lot of good it did," Dean states, as their death was supposed to give us an edge but it didn't. "How about our folks?" Dean changed the subject, and held onto hope that his Mother or Father was here.

"Been lookin' all over for John Winchester. Mary too. So far, nada. I'm sorry," it wasn't the news the boys were expecting. "But, hey, there is somebody. Who I know for sure wants to jaw with you. Hold up," after banging his hand onto the table, he walks backwards, and heads through to the kitchen. I could see a symbol on the door.

Within seconds Ash came back with the one and only Pamela. I nearly spat my beer out of my mouth seeing her. God, what I did back then to her. I bet she hated me.

"Pamela," Sam acknowledged her.

"Nice to see you boys again," she states, as she had her eyes back, and they weren't burnt out holes. Her eyes flicked over to me, and instantly I could tell that her demeanor changed to anger. "They're letting demons up here now?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"You're a demon?!" Ash quickly states with wide eyes, shocked to learn of this.

"Half-demon," I clarified, switching my gaze to Ash for a moment, before wandering back to Pamela. "Sweet Pamela, there's some catching up you need to do," a smirk came to my lips, as she needed to catch up.

.......................

I explained what I was, and what I've been doing to help the boys, and they surprisingly backed me up on it all. I could see the anger, and the hate fade away, maybe not all the way, but it was enough that she didn't hate me no longer. After that, I was behind the bar, as Ash and Sam sat at the counter, trying to find the fastest way to the garden. Dean and Pamela were off at the side, talking.

Unknowingly, I had this deep feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I just knew it felt familiar, like I had been here before. To Heaven, but that was impossible. When I die, it just goes dark, like a bottomless pit, and I wake up hours later.

As Ash was messing with his laptop, and hearing the Angels speak, something in my mind flashed before me, before my eyes. It was a symbol, an etching that I had never seen before. I squeezed my eyes shut, as the pain was unbearable.

"Abigael?" Sam's voice echoed in my ear, as I had to tilt my head down for a moment. "Are you alright?" His tone held concern, as I felt his gaze upon me.

"Yeah," I managed to reply, rubbing my fingers on my temples, trying to ease the pain. But all I could see was this symbol. "Past me the chalk," the pain subsided, as I raised my head up to meet Ash. He held out the chalk for me to grab, and I did. I walked from behind the counter to the front of the roadhouse, their eyes lingered before going back to what they were doing.

I found a space on the door, and began to sketch out the symbol that still lingered in my mind's eye. I drew a standard pentagram, inside a circle, and two half-moons at either side. Before writing a word that now appeared in my head. It was in a language I did not recognise. But I wrote it over the pentagram, stretching to either side of the circle. As I lifted the chalk from the wood, the outline began to glow, a subtle one for a moment, before the next thing I knew it blew out, and engulfed me in its light. I had no time to react, but as it came it went straight away.

My sight became clear, and I was standing in a Botanical garden. It was filled with bushes, trees, flowers, and the smell was heavenly. Did I just come to 'the garden' we were supposed to come too?

"Hello," a male voice pierced from behind, making me spin to see a black man standing with his hands together - as if he was expecting me. "You must be Abigael," his eyes wandered my appearance for a moment, before his eyes locked back onto me. "Truly a dead ringer for her," he states, making me frown for a moment, before a realization came to my face.

"Aradia?" I questioned with a soft tone, but he smiled softly at me, meaning it was who he was on about. "You must be Joshua. I came to that conclusion fairly quickly. "I need to know who she is," I may have sounded desperate, but he might know who she was, if he talks to God.

"Who are any of us?" He retorted, being all philosophical. "Do you want the truth, even if you don't like it?" He asks, stepping closer to me.

"All I know is that she was an angel who fell in love with two of the most powerful Archangels," I responded, dismissing his questions, giving him the information that I had. "Then was killed by Lucifer, and was killed for choosing the wrong brother. Is my fate the same?" I asked wildly, not wanting it to be the same. "I don't want to tear brother's apart," it was the honest truth, I didn't want to rip Dean and Sam from one another. Joshua laughed softly, his eyes holding admiration.

"She too, did not want to tear them apart," he states, the laughter died off. "But Lucifer's anger towards God was consuming him, and he was blinded by rage," Joshua states, giving me more information on the matter.

"But who was she?!" I raised my tone, as I wanted to know. "Not just a lover to both brother's. She must have been important," again Joshua laughed softly at me, as if he was enjoying my torment in not knowing.

"You have her fire. But you also have her kindness, even if you don't want to admit it," Joshua replies all serious. Before I could get another word from him, he vanished in a blink of an eye, leaving me alone here. I swear to God, I'm binding an Angel and getting the answers I need when I get back.

I wandered around the garden, looking at the trees, bushes, and flowers along the way. It was blissful, and kind of soothed my frustration. Angels were tricky little things, and getting a straight answer out of them was kind of hard. I came back around, and I could hear voices becoming clear.

"Well, um, we need to speak to him," Sam's voice came clear as I saw his, and Dean's back. "It's important,"

"Where is he?" Dean jumped on the back of Sam's comment.

"On Earth," Joshua replied bluntly.

"Doing what?"

"I don't know,"

"Do you know where on Earth?" Sam now asked his question, as I stepped down the steps and came closer.

"No. Sorry," it was a short form of answer with this angel. "We don't exactly speak face-to-face," he tells the boys.

"I'm sorry. I-I-I don't get it. God's not talking to nobody, so..."

"So why is he talking to me?" Joshua cuts into Dean's comment. "I sometimes think it's because I can sympathize – gardener to gardener. And between us I think he gets lonely," Joshua's eyes flicked between the boys.

"Well, my heart's breaking from him," Dean was sarcastic in his reply.

"Well, can you at least give him a message for us?" San went on as Joshua's eyes lingered on Dean for a moment.

"Actually, he has a message for you," Joshua states, pausing for a moment. "'Back off,'" a clear message indeed.

"What?" Dean sounded shocked with the message.

"He knows already – everything you want to tell him... He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the apocalypse has begun. He just doesn't think it's his problem,"

"Not his problem?" I could tell Dean was getting angrier by the second.

"God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in Heaven. And after everything you've done, too," Joshua's eyes flicked on over to Sam for the last part of his sentence. As he was getting at the demon blood and everything. "It's more than he's intervened in a long time... He's finished. Magic amulet or not, you won't be able to find him," his main focus was that of Dean.

"But he can stop it. He could stop all of it,"

"I suppose he could, but he won't,"

"Why not," Dean didn't like the answer he was receiving right now.

"Why does he allow evil in the first place? You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that," Joshua responded, as questions that could make anyone go mad.

"So he's just gonna sit back and watch the world burn?!"

"I know how important this was to you, Dean. I'm sorry," there wasn't anything Joshua could do, he was just the messenger.

"Well, forget it... Just another deadbeat Dad with a bunch of excuses, right? Nah, I'm used to that. I'm muddle through," Dean was deflecting his hurt by sarcasm and humor.

"Except... You don't know if you can this time. You can't kill the Devil. And you're losing faith – in yourself, your brother, Abigael, and now this. God was your last hope. I just... I wish I could tell you something different," I could sense he was apologetic with our course.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Sam defended, as angels have known to lie.

"You think that I would lie?" Joshua took some offense to that.

"You're not exactly the first angel we've met,"

"I'm rooting for you boys, and her," his gaze finally passed the boys, and came upon me. Making them swiftly turn their heads behind to see me standing there. "I wish I could do more to help you. I do. But... I just trim the hedges,"

"So, what now?" Dean's tone shifted as if he spoke through clenched teeth.

"You go home again. I'm afraid this time won't be like the last. This time..." Joshua moved away from the boys, and turned back around to face them. "God wants you..." Joshua raised his right hand up. "To remember," were his last words before a blinding white light appeared from his hand and engulfed us. I had to squint my eyes as the bright light was too much.

.............................

My eyes shot open, as I inhaled deeply, leaning forward as I did the action. My breathing quickly became under control, as dying wasn't anything new to me so coming back was a piece of cake. My head snapped from left to right to see the boys still 'dead' meaning I was the first one back. Suddenly, Sam inhaled deeply, and arched up getting all of the oxygen into his body. Then Dean arrived back, he shot up from his position, inhaling a few times before his rhyme came back.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," I remarked, collecting my Grimoire from the side of me. "You guys alright?" I asked, raising from the ground, with my grimoire in hand, eyes flicking between both brothers.

"Define alright," Dean shot back at me, as he quickly leaned back and grabbed his phone. He stood up from the bed, and began to text someone. Sam was taking a look at the blood splatter each of them had.

In no time Cas arrived, and we told him everything Joshua had told us. The boys have also changed and cleaned themselves up. I told them I would clean up the room with my magic as it would be quicker. And with a simple spell the blood was removed from the sheets, the walls, the head boards.

I sat on Sam's clean bed, as Cas was leaning against the divider, staring out looking hopeless.

"Maybe..." Cas began. "Maybe Joshua was lying," Cas was holding onto the small amount of hope he had left in him.

"I don't think he was, Cas. I'm sorry," Sam's voice pierced from the bathroom. We watched Cas as he walked from the divider and stopped a few inches away.

"You son of a bitch," Cas's tone was clearly angry. His head had tilted up to look at the ceiling. "I believed in," Cas cuts himself off As he too now lost his faith in God helping us out. His head remained up before he lowered it after a moment. Cas turns his body around to face the boys. He dug around in his trench coat pocket and pulled out Dean's necklace. "I don't know this anymore," he states without hope. He throws it to Dean who catches it easily in his hands. Dean allowed it to dingle freely. "It's worthless," I wouldn't have thought I would see an Angel lose all of his faith in the person that created him.

"Cas wait," Sam didn't want it to end like this but Cas didn't listen and vanished into thin air. "We'll find another way," Sam was holding onto his faith that he and Dean could find another way. He had walked from the bathroom and threw his towel with the rest of his stuff aka the duffel bag. "We can still stop all of this Dean,"

"How?" Dean finally raised his head up from looking at the necklace.

"I don't know," Sam spun around to meet his brother's gaze. "But we'll find it.... You and me. We'll find it," Dean wasn't too convinced with his brother's statement. Without a word, Dean turns and grabs the handles of his duffel bag and begins to walk across the room. His eyes never met Sam along the way, nor did they meet mine. Dean stopped in front of the door, and allowed the necklace to dangle free from his hand, but this time it was over a trash can. Dean drops the necklace inside as it went with a clatter. Dean opens the motel door and walks out without a word. Sam sighed heavily, knowing this was it. All hope was drained from his brother.

"I hope you do find a way Sam," I finally spoke c standing from the bed, and locked eyes with Sam as he turned. "But without God, we're just heading to an early grave," it was the truth and he needed to accept that.

"Not you too," he didn't look pleased with my comment. I gave him a sorry expression, as I couldn't form the right words that would ease him.

Black smoke generated from the ground and flowed up my figure, engulfing me into its darkness. My last sight was of Sam, looking defeated. Who wouldn't be when the apocalypse was coming...

*****************