~Y/N POV~

I stroll into my shared apartment that I share with my boyfriend, Yoongi of two years. I've been with him since I was sixteen and the moment we met at a party with mutual friend I just knew he was the one for me. We share so much pain in life that we just click together so well, we understand each other like no one else could.

It's been the two of us living alone for the last two year also. I ran away from home and my boyfriend has been with me every step of the way. Nothing can pull us apart, and I love him with all my heart.

Except today, things have changed.

I had just come back from the hospital after collapsing outside when I was using what money we had left to get some food. I did want drugs for my next fix but I remembered I still had some back home and Yoongi never lets me go out to our dealer for the drugs we need. He deals with that himself and he is the one with the money after all.

I closed the apartment door slowly to not to be heard and carefully and quietly walked inside further into the messy apartment. I didn't realise how messy our home really is but I guess being high most of the tile does that to you. I'm more sober now and I don't plan to touch another drug again. I made this decision long before I got here, the words of my doctor ringing through my mind.

I just can't take that risk and so I had my doctor refer me to a program for addicts with my cousins address. I may not have seen him in years but I know him so well to know as he has told me long ago his door is always open to me when ever I decided to sort out my life and that is now.

"Babe! Is that yoooouuuu!!"

Hearing Yoongi call for me, already high as I was yesterday since I had been gone a full night. I became so nervous and froze by the door.

"T-there you are m-my peanut. Where have you b-been?" Yoongi

His squinting eyes and wide smile he was off his head. I smiled weakly at him as he pulled me in for a hug and I hugged him back tightly. What I'm about to do it going to be the hardest thing I've ever done also knowing that Yoongi has abandonment issues with his mother leaving him at the age of five just to be physically and sexually abused by his step mother for the rest of his life. It's gonna crush him but it's for the best, I have to get my life together and I have to make that first change by leaving him. I was just hoping he would be passed out when I left.

"Peanut, you're shaking. W-whats wrong with you? Do you want some more cocaine? I t-think I have some left." Yoongi

He takes my hand and pulls me along with him to the couch that was dirty and very old. It was here when we moved in and we spend most of our time on this couch anyway.

Yoongi sits me down and he stumbles over to the drawers of our tv unit. He fumbles about in th drawer picking up bags and dropping them back in. He even took out a needle and stared at it for a long time, swaying side to side before he scoffs at it and drops it back in.

"I don't need that again. I had a bad trip taking that shit. Y/n we're not getting that stuff again." Yoongi

"Okay, sure Yoongi."

He froze and turned around to face me, frowning at me with something in his hand, like a small bag of weed.

"You called me by my name? Okay now I know something is up." Yoongi

He says crawling back to me on all fours and sits on his knees beside the coffee table that had an ashtray with filter papers for rolling and a lighter.

"Nothings wrong, yoongs."

Yoongi hums at me, more focused on the weed he began to place on filter papers that are used for cigarettes. One thing I do know is that when he smokes the weed, he'll fall asleep as soon as he relaxes. It will work out for me when he does fall asleep but it's gonna he hard as fuck to leave him behind. Just watching here, having no clue to what I'm about to do or to why, I felt like I could cry but I can't show it. He already thinks something is up and I can't tell him what's wrong, I just can't.

"Here babe, smoke this and you'll feel better trust me." Yoongi

He winks at me, bringing his own weed filled cigarette that he just made to his lips and set it a light with his lighter. I just stared down at the one he gave me, a part of me is saying do it, he's doing it so there's no difference but the other part is saying no, don't do it.

I have my reasons to why and I shouldn't even be in the same room as him as he's smoking and puffing away with a large grin on his face.

Yoongi again crawls over to me, and leans against the couch next to my legs and blows smoke in my face. Usually I would giggle but not this time, I only forced at smile at him and waved off the smoke.

"Babe, here light it up." Yoongi

He hands me his lighter and hung his head back against the couch with his eyes closed taking another draw of his weed. I shook my head to myself and put down the weed and lighter he gave me, back on the coffee table.

I then took a moment to look upon his handsome face. Once I leave I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I want to tell him the news but from what he has said in the past and never wanting to stop this lifestyle of running away from him father who wants him to take over family business, I just know this is for the best. I want to stop this and he's told me he never would stop and nothing would stop him, not even a child.

Yoongis hand drops to the side and his mouth hangs open with a little snore coming from him. I took his lit weed from him and stubbed it out in the ashtray. I then caressed his face, feeling the warmth of his cheeks, taking in every feature of his face, all the way down to his arms, that were covered in self inflicted scars and needle marks. He's had a hard life, just like I have and we both bare scars to prove it.

Leaning down to his face did I kiss his cheek, wiping his messy black hair off his forehead to kiss him there also to then kiss his other cheek and then his lips once more. I lingered longer on his lips because this would be the last time I would see him possibly ever again.

I pulled away from him, and again gazed at his sleeping figure. I slowly stood up heading towards the kitchen and finding a piece of paper and a pen somewhere and began to write him a note. Not just any note, but a goodbye note but also to express how much I love him and that maybe one day we will meet again. I tried to hint in my reason to leaving in hopes he figures it out and if he chooses to go clean and come find me then I'd like that. He knows where I would be, well maybe.

After I finished my letter to him, I headed back to him still where I left him sleeping against the couch. I stood there in silence again just watching him, his chest moving up and down as he peacefully sleeps. I always loved to cuddle him and feel his chest move up and down as he slept along with listening to his heartbeat. He would always say that it only beats for me and his words when he spoke like that always got to me.

I carefully placed the letter to him in the table and headed towards the door. Quietly did I open it, not bothering to take any of my belongings with me besides a picture of the two of us that I have in my purse which so happens to be in my pocket since it's not very big.

I stepped out into the gap and glanced back at Yoongi one last time.

"I'll love you forever and ever Yoongs."

Then with a heavy heart did I walk out the apartment and refused to look back no matter how hard my heart was telling me too. I had to do this, not only for myself but for my unborn child.