Please don't lie to me unless you're absolutely sure that I'll never find out the truth.

--

Ilang araw ng nagkukulong si Dama sa kwarto nya. Ni hindi sya nakikipag-usap kahit kanino. Ang pagkain niya ay dinadala pa ng mga katulong sa kwarto niya.

Maghapon syang nakahilata sa kama. Minsan, sisilip sya sa walk-in closet nya para bisitahin ang mga pinakamamahal nyang damit but she'll end up remembering Eula and Lei and then everything will come back to her.

And then she will start to cry.

Kaya bigla nyang titigilan ang pag-re-rearrange at pagsusukat ng mga damit at sapatos para bumalik sa kama nya at umiyak.

She has no one to talk to naman outside her family. Really, may kaibigan ba sya? Wala naman eh. Yung mga taong akala nya ay kaibigan nyang tunay, hindi nya alam kung gawa-gawa lang din. Maybe they were just a bunch of penniless teenagers who were paid to make her believe that she have friends.

Maybe this is her curse. Mayaman nga pero hindi masaya.

"Sweetie?" she heard her dad call. She didn't answer.

Maya-maya, she heard the door open. She grunted. Bakit ba palagi nyang nakakalimutan na walang kwenta ang pagla-lock nya ng pinto dahil may sarili namang susi ang parents nya?

She sat up and faced her father. Naupo ito sa gilid ng kama nya.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course dad. I'm fantastic!" she answered with sarcasm.

Dani looked sternly at her. "Don't use that tone on me. I'm not your mom."

"Sorry dad. Ikaw naman kase, obvious na, tinatanong pa."

"Well that's because I don't know what to say initially."

Yumakap siya sa ama. "Daddy, do you love me?"

"Of course I do," sagot nito.

"Why?"

Kumunot ang noo nito. "Why? Do I have to have a reason for that?"

"Do you just love me because I'm your kid?"

"Why are we having this conversation again?"

She pouted. "Because you asked me if I'm okay."

"Are you?"

"No," sagot niya.

"Don't worry kiddo, everything will be okay." He kissed her forehead.

"Why are you all like that? Why do you keep on telling me that everything will be okay? When dad? When will they be okay?"

"Alam mo anak, lahat ng bagay ay may panahon. It's not meant to be okay today so you're not okay. But someday, I don't know how soon... magiging okay ka rin."

"I wish I could be as optimistic as you dad," she replied.

Kumalas ito sa pagkakayakap nya. "You know what? I'll just tell you a story para naman matuwa ka."

"What story?"

Sumandal ito sa headboard ng kama nya. She did the same. Tapos ay inakbayan sya nito.

"I'll you the story of how you were made," her dad said with a wink.

"What? Eww dad. No!"

"What?" kunwari'y malungkot na tanong nito. "It's a good story."

"No way!"

Patay-malisya lang ang daddy nya at nagsimula itong magkwento.

"I think we were in the car back then—"

"DAD STOP! SERIOUSLY!" Nagtakip sya ng tenga.

Tumawa naman ito saka nagpatuloy.

"We were a bit drunk that night. I think kakatapos lang yata naming manuod ng movie nun. I don't want to—"

"MOMMY! MAKE IT STOP!"

"—go home yet. That's why I—"

"MOMMY! FOR GOD'S SAKE! MAKE HIM STOP!"

The door burst open and came in Meg, na medyo hinapo yata ng kaunti sa kamamadali.

"What's with all the yelling?" iritado nitong tanong sa mag-ama.

"Daddy's such a pervert!" reklamo niya.

"Dad." Meg frowned at her husband. "Ano na naman bang kalokohan ang ginagawa mo?"

"Wala mommy! I'm just telling her a story," sagot ng daddy nya.

"Was it pornographic?"

Dama rolled her eyes. "Very! He's telling me how I was made mom!"

To her surprise, her mother laughed. "Really?" Naupo ito sa kabilang side nya. Tapos ay dinungaw nito ang asawa. "Did you tell her about the car scene dad?"

"Well, I was about to," he replied, grinning.

"Honestly! What is wrong with you both?" naiinis nyang tanong. Ang abnormal lang ng parents nya. Ikaw ba naman ang kwentuhan kung paano ka nabuo? Nakakadiri kaya yun.

Her parents laughed saka sya niyakap ng sabay.

"We just want to make you laugh sweetie," her mom said.

"Apparently, it didn't work," dagdag ng daddy nya. "But we'll keep on trying."

"Because we love you."

They both smiled at her. And she started tearing up again.

"I hate you guys. You're making me cry again. Ang laki-laki na ng eyebags ko eh!"

"Do you want to go shopping? I bet it would relieve your stress," her mom suggested.

"But I have enough clothes to last my entire life!" she lamented.

Nagkatinginan ang mag-asawa.

"Well then... shop for me. I need new maternity dresses."

Tiningnan niya ang suot ng ina. "Yeah. No kidding ma. I can't believe you've worn that pathetic excuse of a dress!"

Biglang tumikhim si Dani.

"Your dad chose this one," Meg said blandly.

Hinarap naman nya ang ama. "I mean—no offense dad... but you have no taste in women's fashion."

"Ouch," sagot nito.

Maya-maya'y may kumatok sa nakabukas na pintuan ng kwarto niya.

"Uhm... excuse me dad, ate, mommy... our food's ready."

Napansin niyang malungkot ang kapatid. And she knew why. Hindi kase niya makalimutan yung time na nag-confess ito ng hinanakit sa kanya.

"Come here noob," aya niya sa kapatid.

Nag-alangan itong lumapit.

"Sit," utos niya.

Naupo ito sa may paanan nila. Nakatingin silang tatlo dito.

"What?" mahinang tanong ni Dylan.

Instead of answering him, nilingon niya ang mga magulang. "Mom... dad... is it true na mas mahal nyo ako kesa sa kanya?"

"Ate!"

Kumunot ang noo ng mag-asawa. "What? Of course not. We love you both... equally," sagot ng daddy nya.

Napatungo ang kapatid nya.

"Heard that noob?"

Dylan sniffed. "I'll eat first. Sumunod na lang po kayo."

"Come on... come here. 'Wag kang magdrama dyan," she replied.

"Oo nga. Come here son."

Sumunod naman ito. She pulled her brother and hugged him tightly. Then she felt her mom and dad hugged them both.

"We love you both."

"Ugh. I hate this. Ang dadrama nyo!" sha exclaimed.

"Look who's talking," her mom retorted.

"Kumain na nga lang tayo. Nagugutom na 'ko," her dad suggested.

So they all went down.

--

Ngayon lang nakita ni Dama na nakangiti ang mga katulong. Parang ang saya-saya nila na makita silang masaya. When they were eating, limang katulong ang nakaantabay. She felt weird. Para kaseng hindi na sya sanay ng may nanunuod sa pagkain nila na hindi naman kumakain.

"Dad, can't they eat with us? I can't eat with all of them staring." And she was sure that they were hungry given na hindi pa pwedeng kumain ang mga ito hanggat hindi pa sila kumakain.

Nagtaas ng kilay ang mommy nya. "Are you sick?"

"Don't you think it's a waste of resources kung ganito karami ang ulam tapos tayo lang ang kakain?"

Napatawa ang mommy nya. "I can hardly recognize you with all those change." She motioned to the maids. "Kumain na rin kayo."

Nagkatinginan ang mga katulong.

"Go ahead."

Isa-isa silang naupo sa hapag-kainan. May isang kumuha ng plato mula sa kusina.

"Telma, pakisabi sa ibang katulong na kumain na rin," utos ng mommy nya kay Telma.

Agad itong tumayo. "Opo ma'am."

There. Eh di walang naglalaway. Tss.

Dama saw her brother smile at her. Inirapan na lang nya ito.

--

After eating, nag-ready na ang mag-ina for their shopping spree. Shop till you drop daw. Dama was given her old credit cards back. Lima iyon lahat-lahat. All have money na hindi bababa sa 20 thousand each.

Iniisip pa lang nya kung paano uubusin ang perang yun, sumasakit na ang ulo nya.

First, they went to some high end stores. And instead of choosing maternity dresses for her mom, parang sya pa ang pinabibili nito ng mga bagong gamit para sa sarili nya.

"Mom... I've had enough already. Let's buy you some new dress," pagtanggi niya.

Ngumiti lamang ang mommy nya at saka sila nagpunta sa tindahan na exclusively eh for pregnant women lang.

She kept on rolling her eyes as the saleslady proves to be so much of a kiss-ass.

"Mom, don't pick that. It's ugly." Hinaklit nya mula sa ina ang isang bulaklaking dress na mukhang 80's dress pa yata. "Choose this one instead." She gave her mom the purple dress that she's been eyeing since they entered the shop.

Pumasok ang mommy nya sa fitting room. Naiwan naman syang naniningin ng iba pang damit. Pansin nya lang, nang pumasok ang mommy nya sa fitting room, hindi na sya pinansin nung saleslady.

She decided to shrug it off. Naningin na lang sya ng accessories na nakalatag sa isang glass table. Her eyes were fixed on this charm bracelet.

Naaalala nya tuloy si Eula. Eula loves charm bracelets...

She picked it up.

"Sweetie?"

Nilingon nya ang ina. "Yeah. That's better." She gave her a thumb up. "Mom, can I buy this?"

"Sure," mabilis nitong sagot.

They ended up with five shopping bags, all filled with her mom's new clothes. Wala syang nabili kundi yung bracelet na yun para kay Eula.

And she was kinda proud of herself. Never pa nyang na-contain ang urge na mag-waldas ng pera. Siguro isa na ring factor ang pagiging depressed nya.

They went home after that. And for the first time, nakasalo na ulit sya ng pamilya over dinner. Ngayon lang kase sya hindi dumeretso ng kwarto. Her mom insisted that they should eat at the house. Eh kanina pa sya gutom na gutom.

Ayun, kaya dumeretso na sila ng kusina pagkauwi at sabay na kumain.

--

The day after that was quite boring. She just stayed on her room, arranging and rearranging her clothes and shoes. Ang boring.

Yung iba nyang damit, ni hindi pa natatanggal sa plastic na nakabalot. Naka-hanger lang sila dun, ilang buwan na rin ata.

She used to arrange her clothes by designer. Nitong pagbalik nya, ginawa nya namang by color. This morning, dahil wala syang magawa, ini-arrange naman nya ang mga ito according to her liking.

Nakabukod ang pinaka-paborito nya. Yung less favorite. And the ones that she hate. Yung mga tipong regalo sa kanya ng mga taong hindi naman kasundo ang taste nya.

Little heart, if Eula was here... I'm sure she'll love this.

Or is that even her name? She's not sure. And what of Tassie? Is that really her attitude or part of an act lang din?

Confused, she got out of the room and decided to roam around the house instead.

Napadpad sya sa likod-bahay nila.

And hope was finally rekindled when she saw the child petting one of their dogs.

"Meera!"

Patakbo nya itong nilapitan.

Agad namang tumayo ang bata pagkakita sa kanya. Bahagya itong yumuko.

"Good morning po Miss."

"Miss ka dyan! Ate na lang!" nakangiti niyang sabi.

Ngumiti din ang bata. "Sorry po. Wala po kase ako sa posisyon para tawagin kayong ate."

"Meera naman..."

"Pero kung yun po yung utos nyo eh susunod po ako."

Ginulo nya ang buhok nito. "I'm not commanding you to call me ate. I'm asking you a favor. So please... call me ate na lang, okay?"

Tumango ito.

"Nasan si Manang Pacing?"

"Nasa bahay po ng lolo ng papa niyo."

"Kina Lolo Stephen?" she asked.

Tumango ito.

"Eh si Kuya Zelo mo?"

"Hindi ko po alam."

"Meera..."

"Promise po! Di ko po talaga alam. Hindi na po kami nagkita mula nung bumalik kayo."

"Alam ba ni Manang kung nasan sya?"

Umiling ang bata. "Hindi ko po alam."

She sighed. "Ganun ba? Di mo talaga alam? Bawal ang magsinungaling."

Tumingin ito ng deretso sa kanya. "Di ko nga po alam ate."

"Talaga ha? Kapag may balita ka, sabihin mo agad sa 'kin ha?"

"Opo."

Niyakap nya ito.

"Namiss kita!"

Pati ikaw... kung nasan ka man.

AN: 2 long updates. Hahaha... feeling ko bawing-bawi ko na yung almost two weeks kong absent. Ayan. Good night. Think whatever you like... ako ang bahala sa twists. ^^v