Lisa's POV

"Yah! Do you wanna die?" I scoffed at Jeon Jungkook who seemed to be having fun pissing me off.

It has only been an hour but my insides felt giddy. Yeah, giddy but in a bad way.

I put down my feet from the couch and rolled my eyes on him before heading straight to the kitchen to grab a glass of water leaving the rest of them behind.

He chuckled at my actions and I must say, I hated it.

Jerk.

Bangtan is at our dorm doing whatever.

Everyone ended up watching some Avengers movie, a few of them cuddling but I decided to sit alone. Jungkook must have not gotten the message so he continuously pisses me off.

Sometimes, I hate the fact that Jimin and Chaeyoung are legally married. Because of that, the guys had easy access to our dorm.

Usually, it shouldn't be a problem because I've come to like them already. They are like my older brothers and this is Bangtan we were talking about. Who wouldn't want to be with them?

However, no matter how boyish I am, I am still a girl and every girl has their moments. When I said moments, I meant moody, red alert, bitchy moments, in short - period.

I have my fucking period and I'm getting so sensitive right now. The fact that I am experiencing stomach cramps is making my life so miserable like there's a dinosaur inside me.

And then there is Jeon Jungkook, the man who made my previous months a whole lot confusing and nerve-wracking.

After the whole kissing and do-you-think-Yeri-will-like-me incident, I started avoiding the man. Of course, that's after I told him to go for it and that Yeri would probably be ecstatic about him crushing on her.

But I wasn't. His words felt like a drum of cold water had been thrown straight to my face.

It made me numb, but only on the outside.

I was actually doing so fine. Since Bangtan was on a tour, seeing Jeon Jungkook had been less on my worries. I'm not even sure if the man was really dense but he kept on sending me messages or calling me the entire time.

Most of the calls I was able to avoid with the obvious reasons like, first - time difference, well maybe? Second, I am also an idol which gives me the right to tell him that I am also busy with practices and attending events which we mostly do these past few months.

And then there is all that drama with Chaey and Jimin breaking up or that incident with that crazy actor.

I am just glad everything was okay now. Jimin and Chaey are back together and the problem with the actor has already been resolved.

Imagine how mad I was when we found out how he slapped Chaeng and how he was harassing her. Thank God I caught everything once on a video and he stayed away.

Normally, I'm not someone who's fond of resorting to violence but the fact that he hurt Chaeng made me approve the incident where Jimin knocked out the man after he found out.

Now, everything is back to normal.

If there is something that was made clear to me, it is the truth that Jungkook didn't like me. Not even after he kissed me which I think was an accident since he was overwhelmed with emotions at that time.

We never talked about the whole Yeri thing afterward. Not that I cared nor I am interested to know.

Whether they are now dating or not, I made sure not to think too much about it. That way, I'd be able to move on.

Jungkook cuddling over me a lot seemed natural as time goes by. I guess he got really comfortable with me and he started to treat me as his best friend, like how he treats his hyungs.

And shit it fucking hurts.

It did, very much, but I tried my best to brush off my feelings for him.

To be honest, I should have never like jerk Jungkook in the first place.

It's my fault for being so stupid.

Didn't I hate him in the beginning? Heck, I'm not even sure if he knows how we first met.

I got blinded by that fucking kiss, and then there are those hugs and cuddling.

Why did he have to make me feel so special?

Those incidents when I felt like he was jealous of Bambam, I guess he wasn't and I misunderstood. Why would he when he was clearly interested in someone else?

I had a hard time sleeping for weeks after that videocall.

The way his eyes shine after he said Yeri's name shattered every piece if my confidence. I never knew a single sentence can break me into nothingness.

I felt cheated but I damn, I never was in a relationship in the first place. He never liked me, nor saw me the way I thought he did.

And that kiss, it was nothing.

At least to him.

Yet I wish it was different. Deep inside, I wish the kiss meant something else, not a kiss made due to accident or whatever bullshit, but a kiss with affection, with love.

Fuck, I shouldn't have let that kiss break down my walls.

Stupid Lisa.

Seeing Chaeyoung breakdown every time should have been more than enough for me to stop thinking about dating at this point. And one more thing, my dating ban should be personally set for him.

From now on, thinking about dating that jerk will be banned from my vocabulary.

"Lisa!!!!!" a loud voice boomed to my ears.

"Ahhhh!!!!" I screamed, the glass of water from my hand slipping causing a loud sound echoing through the room, the glass breaking and shattering into million pieces.

His eyes widen in panic and my hands automatically reached for the pieces of glasses on the floor.

"Lisa...." he mumbled, his voice shaky, perhaps shocked of what happened.

A sigh escaped his lips and I didn't dare respond, my brain being clouded by weird thoughts as I try so hard to suppress my emotions.

Relax, Lisa.

I don't want to be stressed by his presence. The sorrows from the previous months should be more than enough.

"Lisa, stop. Let me do it. You might hurt yourself." I heard him mutter, my eyes catching his movement as he sat in front of me, frantically helping me pick up the remaining glasses.

"I'm okay. Go back to the living room Jungkook, please." I told him, not lifting my head.

As much as possible, I'm avoiding seeing his face.

I don't want to weaken my resolve of moving on from him. It's not healthy for me.

My breath hitch as I felt my finger getting cut by a small glass.

"Aww." I flinch before checking in the cut. But before I can even properly lay my eyes on it, Jungkook grabbed my hand, his eyes widening at the red liquid flowing freely on it.

"I told you to stop. Look at you hurting yourself!" he snickered and I wanted to flip him so badly.

Then he started pressing my finger to stop it from further bleeding.

What the fuck?

"Jungkook, what are you doing?" my voice unstable. Watching him being caring about me makes my heart soften. And I'm not sure I like this idea after I made sure to stop myself from falling for him.

I tried to pull my hand away but his grip was too strong, I had no choice but to give up.

"I told you to be careful, didn't I?" he whispered, his brows furrowed as he checks my hand.

"It's not like this is going to kill me," I mumbled before forcefully pulling my hand away from him.

But you, doing all this definitely would. I wanted to add but I stopped myself.

His face was stern and for a while, I thought I saw him getting mad about what I said.

Just then, Jin oppa came in, his face looking so worried, maybe because they all heard the sound of the glass shattering earlier.

"What happened?" he asked and his eyes widen when he saw a few drops of my blood on the floor. "Oh God, Lisa, are you okay?" he exclaimed and I had to resist the urge to laugh at his reaction.

He looks so adorable, every time.

And then his eyes turned towards Jungkook.

"Yah, Jungkook, are you not taking care of your girl?" he scoffed, my cheeks blushed at his words.

Jungkook looked serious and I don't know if I should be offended.

Is he getting angry because of what Jin oppa said?

"Don't hyung," he mumbled. "That's Lisa, okay."

Fuck.

Did he just indirectly confirmed that I will never be 'his girl'?

My chest tightened in instant and my throat started to hurt as I try to stop the tears forming on my eyes to fall down on my cheeks.

You're okay Lalisa. You're not gonna cry over this. Not here, not in front of him. I told to my self.

I was sure about his feelings after what he said but it still hurts like a bull when he said it straight to my face.

And it killed me.

Fuck, I can't take this.

"Yeah, I'm Lisa, the annoying Blackpink member. You happy?" I can't help but answer back, though I was so sure that my voice cracked at the end.

He looked taken aback and I saw his eyes eyeing me in confusion.

I can't let him see me like this. I feel like I am about to explode. Whether from hurt or anger, I am not sure.

"Since it's your fault for being so stupid anyway, I'll leave the cleaning to you." I stood up from the ground and smiled a bit to Jin oppa who was gawking at me the entire time before I turned my back and head inside.

This time, I decided that it's best to stay in my room.

I'm not sure if I'm hearing things but I was so sure I heard him whisper my name. But yeah, he's like a few meters away from me.

Of course, I was hallucinating.

Then I closed the door.

Right Lisa, stay away from Jeon, before you completely ruin yourself.
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