Author's notes: This is a submission to VioletSun5's Prompt Wars, Prompt Two ("Santa Claus is coming to town. You are oath-sworn to stop him.")

Word count: 744

~*~*~

Men in white. The special task force founded by the coalition of all the toy companies in the United States. One mission: to stop one of the biggest threats to capitalism the world had ever known.

To stop Santa Claus.

Seriously, what kind of whacko gave out millions of toys and other gifts for free every year? Every single one of those meant money that parents desperate to make their children happy would not spend on their lovingly crafted merchandise. Money that would not be used to support the American dream.

~*~*~

Jack, the field leader of MIW, surveyed the sky with his hi-tech binoculars. Nothing yet. Like the name of his unit suggested, he was dressed in completely white overalls to make it easier to blend in the snow on the rooftops. He was also wearing a white helmet with built-in communication devices. "Skellington to all the goblins. Are you in positions? Target's estimated time of arrival in less than ten minutes."

One by one his troops, all fifteen of them, confirmed that they were in position and ready.

He checked once more that his helmet was securely in place and that he could not hear anything outside the radio channel. The sound of the bells in Santa's sleigh made people fall into such deep sleep that he could pass by unnoticed everywhere. Then he pulled his night-vision goggles down from his forehead.

"Goblins one to five, tranquilize the reindeer. Six to ten, aim to break the sleigh. Do not kill Santa. I repeat, do not kill Santa." Their employers could use the jolly old man to advertise Christmas sales, once they got a chance to negotiate with him. "The rest, prepare to defend against full offensive."

He looked to the sky, where a silhouette of a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer passed as a shadow across the full moon. "He's here."

The first shots were fired as the sleigh descended towards the first buildings, and the sky and the rooftops rapidly erupted into a full-blown battlefield. Santa's elves jumped down from the sleigh with small parachutes strapped to their backs. Additional two manned candy cannons and shot hard fruit candies and sticky gelatin cubes at them.

Jack took aim with his rifle and fired several rubber bullets at the cannoneers. One was hit on the head and fell back inside the sleigh. He quickly dodged behind the chimney as the airborne vehicle made a sharp turn and the other cannon returned fire. 

The defensive division was trapping as many parachute elves as they could into nets before they could land. But there were way more than they could handle. No matter. If they could just bring the reindeer down fast...

"Goblin four to Skellington! Goblin four to Skellington! Tranquilizer darts have no effect!"

"Aim for these little devils with pointy hats then!" Jack shoved one of the approaching elves off the roof, but three more attacked him with wrapping paper and colorful ribbons. "Don't you dare-"

Whether it was centuries of experience or magic, he was bundled up like a Christmas present in under a minute. Santa's sleigh was already leaving the neighborhood, the delivery to each house nearby no doubt already completed.

"Use the fireworks! Do SOMETHING to stop him!"

"Sir, the fireworks have been soaked in mulled wine," someone reported. There was so much static in the channel that Jack couldn't pinpoint which "goblin" it was. "Smells pretty good actually."

"Identify yourself! I swear I'll dock your pay for the next month!"

There was complete silence.

"Goblin twelve requesting immediate backup!" another voice yelled. "I'm getting swarmed!"

"Forget backup! STOP SANTA CLAUS!!!"

"Hohoho!" Santa's signature laugh echoed in the air, mocking them. Like in response, the Christmas lights adorning the houses started twinkling in mischievous patterns.

Jack swore like a seasoned sailor, no doubt making their youngest recruits's ears burn. "Skellington to base! Employ Lock, Shock and Barrel! The target is getting away!"

"Um...the choppers- I mean Lock, Shock and Barrel have been disabled. The enemy sneaked in during initial assault and filled them with lumps of coal. It will take at least half an hour to get them to air."

No helicopters. No fireworks. His unit overwhelmed by the elves like they were nothing more than helpless children. Santa's sleigh already out of reach. And adults waking from the charm of the bells to take their little ones to bed.

That was it. They had lost again this year.