don't mind this just some stuff.

so uhm, this month has been really boring and sad, like, probably the most boring and sad I've been in a while. I've been having this dumb " problem " that isn't really a problem idk. is just I'm like, falling asleep all the time is so annoying honestly. like, I don't pay much attention to it cause no one really cares about it cause is pretty dumb tbh but I think is pretty bad. I mean, I fall asleep everyday when I don't have something to do, and not intentionally. I've gotten detention this entire month for falling asleep mid class and I lose time I could be spending with my wife for sleeping. is getting mad annoying but no one really cares or acknowledges it. my own wife thinks is just a cute habit. idk what to think tbh. is really messing me up cause I have memory problems and that problem plus this one is a mind wreck, so. yeah.

and, I'm trying to behave correctly and stuff but I really want to just ignore everyone so no one remembers me or if they do remember, then hate me so I don't have any guilt to get the hell out of this world. literally the most selfish thought but is true. just kinda wish there was a button to make someone hate u or forget about u completely. so when people ask the people I care about something like " hey u know about that girl Zoe who killed herself ? " and they could be like " nope don't know her " or " that bitch ? yeah I heard " so they won't be all sad and hurt about it. cause that's the last thing I want. but that button doesn't exist so, I just try to help and move on

anyway, is whatever. just wrote it here so I wouldn't have to tell someone specifically and make them all worried and stuff. and because no one reads this things anyway so like, yeah. bye ig