Hi, no one. Guess I should explain a bit what's causing me so much problems.

So, just so you know (even tho you probably already know) I'm a lesbian, a married lesbian. And I've known my wife for 11 years (I'm 16 so wow). We got married this year because my wife thought she was going to lose me because of a health problem I had. ~Maybe some day I'll explain why I got that health problem~ anyway, so I've always loved my wife with all my heart and she's the reason I'm still alive. She's saved me countless times. But some weeks ago I was starting to feel different. I don't know. If you didn't know I attempted suicide a few weeks ago (don't worry, it's nothing unusual in my life lmao)  so I really wanted to die and I cut myself in a place I knew I would bleed out but my wife managed to get me to the hospital on time (again :/ ) so after that is like something changed, idk. So when I finally was let out of the hospital we were in our building and I just wasn't feeling the same. I thought it was nothing and continued but I just couldn't rub it off. After a week of this feeling I went out without my wife to try and see if I was just a little tired of her or something and it just ended up worse because I realized that I was kind of attracted to other people now, which had never happened before. I went to buy clothes cause all I had was sweaters and tops and my underwear (cause that's basically what I wear  everyday lmao) so I was buying that and I ended up buying nothing cause the whole day I spent chatting with a random girl there and she was nice af and, not in a romantic way, sexy. She nearly had a six pack I mean come on. But that was worrying for me cause it had never happened before. I returned and I just felt out of place. So I talked to my wife about it, because that's the first thing I should've done in the first place, and it wasn't good. My wife kind of took it bad and I always cry when she's mad at me so there you have a sobbing Zoe and a mad wife. In the heat of her arguing she said something, I don't remember exactly what she said but it was something that really stroke a nerve and hurt. It really hurt me, and being the dumb and weak girl I am, I ran away. I didn't grab anything, I just left. I ran crying to a tiny park we had next to our building and cried out there until I relaxed. After a few hours of crying I relaxed and didn't know what to do. I texted a friend if I could stay with her, she didn't ask any questions, just said "sure". I stayed there that night and the next day I didn't know what to do. I realized the place I wanted to be in was my childhood nightmare. New York, I was raised there and I won't explain anything but I had a hard time there. Some of you probs know what I mean, others, probs no idea. So I bought a plane ticket and left there. The company of my wife's family has two buildings in New York. One in Queens and one in Long Island. (And a tiny one in Harlem but doesn't really count as building) so I left to the one in Long Island cause it's the one I have less memories in. My plan was to stay here and fix myself to see what I can do but the guards have to tell the owners when someone is staying there so they told my wife. And knowing her she's probably coming. I didn't know if it was better to go to another building or stay there. It was basically traumatizing memories or my wife. And I chose my wife, so I'm staying in Long Island and I'm literally broken. I went to get some clothes yesterday, haven't eaten, cried myself to sleep and my life and world is falling apart even more, so that's my week.

P.D. Tell me if you prefer this long ass text or short texts to tell my update.

Anyway, no one will read this, if you did, that's some minutes you've totally wasted lmao.

Daily update 1
°~Zoe~°