121. I WISH I COULD GENERATE INCOME FROM MY SARCASM.

122. MY HOUSEKEEPING STYLE IS BEST DESCRIBED AS "THERE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN A STRUGGLE."

123. I HAD A FRUIT SMOOTHIE TODAY AND WENT FOR A BEAUTIFUL HIKE. 

TRANSLATION:

I GOT DRUNK OFF WINE AND ROLLED DOWN THE STAIRS. 

124. WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS FLUENT SHIT. 

125. MORNING CHECK LIST:

CLOTHED? AH, SUFFICIENTLY. 

KEYS? YEP, JUST FOUND EM'.

COFFEE CUP? FULL. 

SANITY? SANITY? AND WE HAVE A RUNNER. 

126. SOMETIMES THE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD GET SO BORED THEY GO OUT FOR A STROLL THROUGH MY MOUTH. THIS IS RARELY A GOOD THINGS. 

127. MY BOSS SAID I INTIMIDATE COWORKERS. SO I STARED AT HIM UNTIL HE APOLOGIZED.

128. 2 WORDS. 1 FINGER. 

129. WORK TIP: 

STAND UP. STRETCH! TAKE A WALK. GO TO THE AIRPORT. GET ON A PLANE. NEVER RETURN. 

130. WELL. AREN'T WE JUST 2 SCOOPS OF GRUMPY IN A BOWL FULL OF BITCHY THIS LOVELY MORNING.