111. THEY SAY GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME. THAT'S WHY I'M ALWAYS LATE. 

112. SO....WHEN IS THIS "OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER" SUPPOSED TO KICK IN??

113. "USERNAME OR PASSWORD INCORRECT" 

AT LEAST TELL ME WHICH ONE IS!

114. I'M NOT WEIRD. I'M LIMITED EDITION!

115. IS "UGH" AN EMOTION? BECAUSE I FEEL IT ALL THE TIME. 

116. STUPID PEOPLE ARE LIKE GLOW STICKS. I WANT TO SNAP THEM AND SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF THEM UNTIL THE LIGHT COMES ON. 

117. AFTER MONDAY AND TUESDAY, THE CALENDAR SAYS "W T F". 

118. SARCASM IS AN ART. IF IT WAS A SCIENCE, I'D HAVE MY PHD. 

119. SOMEDAY I'M GOING TO EYE-ROLL MYSELF INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. 

120. DUE TO RECENT CUTBACKS, THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.