LET'S GET STARTED...

1.  MY LEVEL OF SARCASM HAS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M KIDDING OR NOT.

2. THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES BEGINS WITH A BROKEN FAN BELT AND A LEAKY TIRE.

3. IF YOU FALL, I WILL BE THERE. -FLOOR

4. "ARE YOU FREE TOMORROW? NO, I'M EXPENSIVE." 

5. THINGS TO DO TODAY:

-GET UP

-SURVIVE

-GO BACK TO BED

6. REVENGE IS BENEATH ME. ACCIDENTS, HOWEVER, WILL HAPPEN. :)

7. SILENCE IS GOLDEN. DUCT TAPE IS SILVER. 

8. SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE CLOUDS. WHEN THEY DISAPPEAR, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY! 

9. SORRY FOR BEING LATE. I GOT CAUGHT UP ENJOYING MY LAST FEW MINUTES OF NOT BEING HERE. 

10. I'M SARCASTIC BECAUSE PUNCHING PEOPLE IS FROWNED UPON.