"The spotlight effect is the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one's own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others has shown to be uncommon. The reason behind the spotlight effect comes from the innate tendency to forget that although one is the center of one's own world, one is not the center of everyone else's. This tendency is especially prominent when one does something atypical."

~Wikipedia

So, as a current psychology student, I came across this term recently in a social norms project. I was so surprised. Surely they didn't mean that people didn't notice when I was wearing something really weird? Or when I had a huge pimple on my face? But then we did this project, and for part of it, my friend and I walked around with umbrellas. No rain. No sun. Just umbrellas.

Literally almost NO ONE gave us a second glance.

Another group wore princess outfits around the mall. Full grown high schoolers. A few people glanced at them for a second, but didn't really react.

So I promise you—people aren't paying attention to your bad hair day. They're worrying about the hole in the bottom of their shirt.

Another story: I was in a dance intensive over the summer. I was one of the older, more experienced dancers in the room. At some point, I was talking to my friend and a girl much younger than us and new to the studio. She confessed that she felt really embarrassed because she kept messing up the combination, and even fell at one point, and she was scared the older dancers were judging her. My friend responded, "Girl, trust me, we aren't paying ANY attention to you. We're way too wrapped up in ourselves and everything we're doing wrong."

Pretty legit explanation, I think.

Much love,
Margot