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13.


121. I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO WILL BURST OUT LAUGHING IN DEAD SILENCE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. 


122. I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED....THESE BLANKETS HAVE ACCEPTED ME AS ONE OF THEIR OWN AND IF I LEAVE NOW, I MIGHT LOSE THEIR TRUST. 


123. MY FAVORITE EXERCISE IS A CROSS BETWEEN A LUNGE AND A CRUNCH.....I CALL IT LUNCH! 


124. SOMETIMES I SHOCK MYSELF WITH THE SMART STUFF I SAY AND DO. THEN THERE ARE THOSE TIMES WHEN I TRY TO GET OUT OF THE CAR WITH MY SEAT BELT ON. 


125. THERE WAS A SAFETY MEETING IN WORKING TODAY. THEY ASKED ME, "WHAT STEPS WOULD YOU TAKE IN THE EVENT OF A FIRE?"  "FUCKING BIG ONES" WAS THE WRONG ANSWER. 



126. NEXT TIME A STRANGER TALKS TO ME WHEN I AM ALONE, I WILL JUST LOOK AT THEM, SHOCKED, AND JUST WHISPER QUIETLY "YOU CAN SEE ME??"


127. A COP PULLED ME OVER AND SAID "PAPERS..."

I SAID "SCISSORS, I WIN!" AND DROVE OFF. 


128. WHEN YOU PUSH A DOOR THAT SAYS PULL AND SOMEONE SAYS "YOU HAVE TO PULL" LIKE YEAH, NO, MY NEXT PLAN WAS TO START LIFTING FROM THE BOTTOM. 


129. JUST SPENT 15 MINUTES SEARCHING FOR MY PHONE IN MY CAR. WHILE USING MY PHONE AS A FLASHLIGHT. 


130. IT TAKES REAL SKILL TO CHOKE ON AIR, FALL UP STAIRS, AND TRIP OVER COMPLETELY NOTHING. I HAVE THAT SKILL...

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