101. I WALK AROUND LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE, BUT DEEP DOWN, INSIDE MY SHOE, MY SOCK IS SLIDING OFF....

102. *BOOM* 

MOM: WHAT WAS THAT? 

ME: MY SHIRT FELL. 

MOM: IT SOUNDED A LOT HEAVIER THAN THAT. 

ME: I WAS IN IT. 

103. MY WEEK IS BASICALLY:

MONDAY: 

MONDAY #2:

MONDAY #3:

MONDAY #4:

FRIDAY: 

SATURDAY:

PRE-MONDAY: 

104. MY BED IS A MAGICAL PLACE WHERE I SUDDENLY REMEMBER EVERYTHING I FORGOT TO DO.

105. HAVE YOU EVER HAD THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU ARE HOLDING A STICK AND EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE A PINATA? 

106. I WONDER IF CLOUDS LOOK DOWN ON US AND SAY "HEY LOOK...THAT ONE IS SHAPED LIKE AN IDIOT." 

107. "TRUST ME. YOU CAN DANCE." -VODKA

108. I LIKE BEING SINGLE. I'M ALWAYS THERE WHEN I NEED ME.

109. I MAY LOOK LIKE I'M HAVING DEEP THOUGHTS, BUT 99.9% OF THE TIME, I'M THINKING ABOUT WHAT TO EAT LATER. 

110. MY DAY STARTS BACKWARDS....I WAKE UP TIRED AND I GO TO BED AWAKE.