A/N: Possible triggers, not like self harm but I don't want to trigger anything for anyone. In advance I apologize if anything in this upset you.... xx

Passing out after eating half a pizza was exactly how I wanted to spend the time before the concert. Although, waking up not even six minute later to someone groping me was not.

Luke must have turned off the lights when I dozed off, how very thoughtful. Unfortunately for him, its also the reason I beat the crap out of hi if I can get away from the pervert. 

"What the fuck?" I ask groggily, propping myself up on one elbow and squinting into the unforgiving darkness that masked whoever was palming my jeans.

They stopped upon hearing my voice, as if i wasn't going to feel the pressure of their hand against my no-go area.

They were quick to straddle me to prevent me from getting away.

"Whoever it is, can you stop?" I whine when they continue their earlier movements.

Unless you're Calum, than by all means, continue.

Suddenly they were grinding against me, and I wasn't ready for this to go any further.

I scrambled to get my phone out of my pocket to see who it was. To my luck, I dropped it. It landed with a solid thunk, screen flashing on to reveal that Calum is calling.

If he's calling, than who the hell is on top of me?

"S-Stop!" I whimpered when they began sucking on my neck. My protests just seemed to turn him on even more, he started moaning, moving farther up my chest an beginning to fiddle with my pants.

"Please! S-S-Stop!" I whimper again, trying to push him off to no avail.

"You're so hot when you're scared, Cliffo." He whispers, breath hot against my throat.

"W-What the fuck Stevie?!" I cry, making a last ditch effort to push him off. My attempt only results in him putting more pressure on me. He gives up on pulling at my pants for the time being, moving to run his hands under my shirt.

"I love the way you say my name." He grunts, sucking harshly under my jaw.

He somehow was able to get my pants off and everything was becoming too much, my phone was ringing for the fourth time, my eyes were watering at this point.

I couldn't get him off.

Blood was pounding in my eyes, all I could hear was the irritating ring and the steady pound. The heat was unbearable, suffocating me to no end.

Hands were gripping every part of me, my hips, my arms, my sides, my legs. The couch was becoming uncomfortable, allowing my legs to sink into its cushions, when all I wanted to do was run. Never in my life have I ever wanted to run, Not even when Ashton ran away with my hair dye and wouldn't give it back unless I caught him.

I need to answer the phone.

Stevie didn't see my struggle for the phone, knocking it farther out of react. Almost as if by contact my phone stopped ringing, The screen showing missed call notifications, all from Calum.

Stevie was whispering something against my neck when I came back from the staring contest with my phone, I couldn't understand a thing over the hammering of my heart. The sickening smack of it against my rib cage was worse than when the bass drops.

 A bright light interrupted his actions, he took a sharp intake of breath when light flooded the room.

"What the fuck?" Someone shouted, followed by a soft slapping noise. A assume he clamped a hand over his eyes.

"C-C-Calum?" I blubbered quietly, trying to push Stevie off once again, weakly.

I need to start pumping steel, my god I am so weak...

"You could have at least answered your phone to tell me what was going on!" He continued to shout, not understanding the current situation at all.

"Stevie get off!" I cried, tears finally spilling out and wetting my cheeks quickly.

"You could have just answered and said, 'Oh hey Calum? I'm planning on having sex, don't interrupt please.'" He continued to ramble, pacing around the room with his eyes still covered.

 "You could have shot me a te-"

"Calum!" I shout weakly, finally gaining his attention long enough for him to notice the tears running down my face and see Stevie pinning me down.

"Holy fuck!" He yells, realization dawning on him. He goes from shocked to angry in a few seconds, sending Stevie a glare cold enough to set off the next ice age. Calum begins to advance, turning from ever-loving puppy boy to extremely intimidating not-so-asian teenage boy that would tattoo his balls to prove a point.

Stevie is quick to scramble off me and crawl off the couch on all fours, heading for the door in one quick motion.

"Expect the police coming after your ass!" Calum shouts angrily after the platinum blonde as his black sweater whips around the corner. 

"I'm so sorry." Calum exclaims, kneeling down in front of me. I had somehow managed to get myself off the couch and back into a corner.

"Its not your fault." I mumble weakly. Trying to reassure him even though I happened to be in tears at the moment.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, his eyes getting glossy.

"Calum stop." I blubber, a fresh wave of tears coming with the image of him crying in my head.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you." He cries, trying desperately to remove the tears in his eyes.

"You did protect me, you stopped him from going any further." I protest weakly.

"I should have been there to protect you from the start!" He countered, pulling me into his arms and hugging me like he thought I'd disappear into thin air at any second.

I couldn't argue anymore, I was crying too hard.

"We have to get going, we have a concert to get too." Calum mumbles hoarsely after our hug turned into something like a cuddle, after our tears stopped, after our breathing became even, breathing in time with one another.

"I don't want to." I whisper, burying my face into his shoulder.

"We have to, for the 5SOS Fam." He explained, gesturing to my crumpled pants on the floor.

I couldn't wear those, not after what happened while I was wearing them. I'd feel dirty. More dirty than I was feeling now. 

"Would you like to trade pants?" Cal asks after seeing the way I look at the plain black skinny jeans. I quickly shake my head, "No, I don't want them to contaminate you."

It sounded stupid as soon as it left my lips, it made complete sense in my head. I don't want the pants to taint his innocence, his mind, him. I want him to stay Calum, with his innocent smile and lame jokes, cute giggles. Calum.

He chuckled, already removing his own jeans. "Don't worry, tonight we'll shower in Holy Water."

He was joking, you could tell by the small note of teasing in his voice. He was trying to make me laugh or smile, trying to lighten the mood. Although the Holy Water idea was a joke, it sounded perfect right now even though I was never religious before.

In the end after a lot of protest, I was in a cab headed for the tour bus in Calum's jeans. He sat next to me the whole ride, arm wrapped securely around my shoulders, holding me together. When we arrived he struggled through getting the proper payment from his wallet with one hand, refusing to let go of me.

Scared that I'd fall to pieces.

We exited the cab quickly, Calum had to let go of me for a second but quickly latched himself onto my hand. I nearly ran to the stadium entrance, feeling the need to shower. To get rid of the imaginary layer of dirt that coated everywhere he touched.

The only thing keeping me from an all out sprint was the tanned hand clamped to mine and the raven haired boy attached to it. 

He went through so much trouble trying to find me a towel, also insisting on me wearing his navy blue knitted sweater. At the same time he was being super sweet and refused to leave my side at any moment in time.

"I'll be right here." He assured me, wiggling around to get more comfortable on the bench near the showering areas. He took out his phone as I placed my things next to him.

The stench of Stevie was suddenly overwhelming when I entered the closed in shower. I desperately hoped soap and hot water would get rid of it. I felt like I had rolled in a pile of dirt.

The water wasn't hot enough. My skin was turning pink and the shower nozzle wouldn't move any further. The soap wasn't working either, the dirt stayed, caked to my stomach. I ended up trying to scrape off the dirt with my fingers, welts started to appear under the dirt. 

There's too much.

I didn't realize I was sobbing until Calum came in with a towel and turned the water off. He quickly wraps the towel around me and brings me down to the floor, pushing me into his lap where I curl up. 

Calum didn't care that the tiles and I were soaking his clothes.

Calum didn't mind my skin was seemingly made up of dirt.

"Shhh, its okay Mikey. You're all clean." He soothed, running his hand up and down my arm.

"No." I blubbered, still trying to claw the dirt off my small tummy.

"Hey, stop. You're clean. See?" As a demonstration he ran a finger along my rib cage, taking it off to reveal a clean finger.

"T-The dirt is s-s-sticking." I wailed, trying weakly to claw it off.

"Look at me." He asks softly, waiting for me to make eye contact before continuing. "There isn't any dirt. You're clean. You'll be fine." At the end he gently places his hand over the faded purple print on my milky white skin.

>< >< >< ><

I wasn't fine at all.

The blue sky is fading, the concert's in full swing. 

The screams are giving me a headache, Calum keeps looking at me like I'll break down any minute. 

I'd messed up a few times, not that the fans could notice, minor notes and I missed one of my ques.

Even worse, the last song on our set happened to be Amnesia.

The screams that erupted when the opening notes sounded were deafening. When I didn't think things could get much more hectic, the rain started, it felt like mist but pretty much everyone was drenched.

Calum walks over to my side of the stage, coming to stand right next to me. Luke was singing his first little solo and I'm assuming Calum would sing his part on my mic, there's no way he'd make it back in tie.

"How are you holding up?" He yells, leaning in so I can hear him over the crowd.

"Good." I reply weakly. In the rain you can't tell if someone's crying, unless they make a noise or their shoulders shake. My tears were silent, ninja tears.

"Pretend the rain is Holy Water." Calum yelled, gesturing to the air.

I don't know how he did it, but the temperature of the rain immediately changed to a more pleasant cold, soothing my irritated skin. The dirt washed away within seconds.

"Your hair is looking a little flat." He yells.

I gesture to my acoustic, hoping he gets the picture.

He's quick to start fluffing it, pushing it around to make it stay up.

I smile makes its way onto my mouth at the gesture, its so small yet it had my heart beating like a drum.

He finishes, returning the smile and starting up playing his bass.

Luke was nearly done, Calum hadn't even moved.

"Remember our bet?" He asked quickly, ignoring my confused glance.

"I want you to kiss me." He continued, not even pausing to see if I was following along.

"What?" I yell, not sure if I heard him right. The screaming was really loud.

"Kiss me." He says again with more force. Taking a step closer so only our guitars and a small gap were separating us.

And the memories I never can escape

'Cause I'm not fine at all.

I gripped his Kurt Cobain shirt and pulled him closer, attaching our lips before the last word left Luke's mouth.

Calum was supposed to start singing after that. The confusion was short lived, realizing Calum wasn't at his microphone and then searching the rest of the stage to find him lip-locking with another band member.

I wanted to pull away when the crowd collectively gasped but Calum had somehow managed to get past my guitar straps to grab my hips. Ashton's drumming slowed down drastically before he stopped and joined in on everyone staring.

The entire crowd had gone silent, a few quiet murmuring sounds here and there. Calum pulled away when the burning in my lungs started, taking a moment to peck my lips quickly before taking a step back and turning to look at the other half of the band.

"Why'd you stop?" He joked when he came in range of my microphone stand.

"I wasn't expecting that." Luke laughed.

"Neither was I." I jump in, blushing furiously.

"Are you two a thing?" Ashton waves a drumstick pointedly at us.

I look over to Calum for an explanation, I bite my lip waiting for his answer.

He strummed his bass and began to sing like nothing happened.

My heart dropped a bit at that.

We had no choice but to play along.

The pictures that you sent me 

They're still living on my phone

I'll admit I like to see them

I'll admit I feel alone.

How fucking fitting.

A/N: Hello and thanks for reading and things. I was writing this and it didn't seem long enough half way through and it still doesn't feel like I should end it here but I am((((:

FUN FACT: This part is 2337 long minus the author's note at the end.

ANOTHER FUN FACT: I got called a Lad when I was waking home and which I think is kind of stupid because I have a pixie like haircut and I think its becoming pretty popular now.

Now I guess, you be you and I'll be me? Have a good day/night xx