"Have you done something with him?" I set my eyes on her while she's washing her hands. "With who?"

"Korain..." I pronounce his hateful name, making her smile and shake her head. "What is wrong with him for you to always bring him up like that?" she grabs some tissues to dry her hands and peeks up at me, making me stare in her eyes to show her my earnestness about this. "When will you even answer my damn question without trying to avoid it?"

"I haven't done anything with him, I told you already," she throws what she used out but goes back to the cubicle she occupied. "Then why the fuck were you both flirting under my nose?"

"Flirting?" she frowns, taking her zip-up hoodie off to wrap it around her waist. "We were not even flirting, we were just chatting. Why the hell would we flirt with each other?"

"I just don't like to see you with him, all right?" I say it, straightforwardly. "Jungkook," she sighs, glancing away but holding my t-shirt in her hand. "You're being annoying right now. He's a friend like Hajoon or Taeyeong are to me."

"Oh yeah, but I'm your friend too if that's so," I straighten up to not lean back on the sinks behind me anymore. "We're just 'friends', yet you had sex with me and had done all types of sexual stuff."

"I don't do that with other guys, all right? I just did it with you, and I told you, I've never done anything with him!" she raises her voice at me, making it obvious she's mad. "Am I just a sex friend to you? Am I good for that only?" I stare into her eyes while she's barely able to do it back, averting me. "You know what I told you about that already, don't pretend to not know and then make me the bad guy."

"I do know what you told me, but you never answered this question, what am I to you? I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your friend but not like the others, so what the fuck am I exactly? A toy?" I do not control my words anymore but let everything leave my mouth out of pain and wrath. "A toy? Are you kidding me?" her facial expression changes as if she was now affected by what I'm letting out. "You knew it right from the beginning how this would be, stop acting like I've done something bad! I told you I don't want a boyfriend! I don't want to be in a relationship because I don't trust guys! What are you trying to do exactly right now?!"

"You stop it!" my voice echoes through the room as well. "You pretend to be innocent, but you just fuck without even feeling anything for the person you're with! What are you?! A fucking slut who fucks around with every guy she hangs out with just because you cannot settle down with a dude?!" a heavy silence tumbles down on us, her gaze losing all its emotions as the look into her eyes turned horribly woeful. "Just stay with that asshole and fuck him instead...you don't give a shit about me anyway," I get out of the room without thinking twice, feeling on edge and knowing this is better to leave before I say something more that I might regret.

'YOUR P.O.V'

As soon as he steps out, my heart pounds my chest even harder to make me feel the physical pain he just caused, and I break down into tears. I cover my face with my trembling hands to sob, hurt by his words that he let out so harshly because he did nothing but mean them.

I can't believe he said such things. I would never have expected him to be like this.

15 minutes later...

I go out of the restroom after struggling and almost dying all alone while fighting against a panic attack. I keep my zip-up hoodie around my waist and leave the room. As soon as I'm out, I look for Haneul and make my way towards him, but it only takes me a few seconds to find him.

I walk up to him as he's still with Korain, and I hide the pain that I just felt, however, his eyes meet mine, and once I'm close to him, he notices something is wrong with me.

"Are you okay?" he places his warm hand over the side of my face, and I get closer to him to rest my head on his chest. "Yes, I just have stomach ache..." I lie to him in order to not make him worry, and I put my arms around his body, closing my eyes and asking for his comfort as I can still feel the weakness that the tension of my muscles caused. He quickly understands what this behavior means and hugs me, he rubs my back and holds me tight. "Have you taken a painkiller?"

"No," I answer in his chest, loving the warmth he offers me when I need it the most. I feel on the verge of bursting into tears the more I hear the words Jungkook said in my head, but I need to hold back, absolutely. "In five minutes we can go back in the changing room, can you wait till then?" he slides one hand up to brush some strands of my hair back, and I nod. "Yes."

"I'll give you a painkiller, but if you ever feel like fainting, tell me. Hm?" he worries about me as always, making me feel like I'm maybe not just irrelevant. "Hm, I will, but can I stay next to you in class as well?" I raise my eyes up to gaze into his, but since I can instantly notice he knows this means something is not all right, I try to find a quick excuse. "I'm scared to faint again..."

He skims my cheek with his thumb and nods to me. "Yes, you'll stay with me."

•••

10:15 am.

I walk up the stairs after the bell rang, constantly standing by Haneul's side. I haven't stopped hearing Jungkook's words on repeat in my head, and this keeps on hurting me, I cannot think about anything else but what he said.

I guess he's right anyway, I'm nothing better than that.

"Hey," Haneul grabs my hand, holding my binder for me. I look up at him now that we stopped in front of the classroom, but the man before us makes my heart break into pieces. "What is wrong? I know something is going on in your head," he asks for me to talk, knowing me more than anyone else.

I fake a smile and shake my head. "I'm fine, you know how I feel at this time of the month," I use this as a reason to explain my behavior, and I step closer to his tall body. I hold his hand without letting go and gaze down at the floor to not see Jungkook, who is right in front of me.

I have to hold my tears back and not let the knot in my throat loosen.

Haneul breathes out sharply but caresses the back of my hand with his thumb. "Do you want to hang out with Korain and I after school?"

"I don't know, I want to stay with my dad today. He won't work tomorrow, so I'll maybe try to take a day off and work from home," I play with his longer finger as he's listening to me, and he smiles. "All right, call me if you ever change your mind. Okay?"

"Yes," I force the corners of my lips up but hear the teacher join us. He opens the door and lets us all in, so I follow Haneul, and he asks for his tablemate to get in the back where my old desk is. The boy doesn't complain but leaves his usual seat to let it free for me. I sit down next to the wall, and Haneul does the same next to me. This feels better that way, I don't want to be close to Jungkook again, and he certainly doesn't want to either.

Haneul checks up on me to make sure I'm fine, and I lay my stuff on the desk, feeling my heart pound because of the pain that I keep inside of me. I grab my Pikachu to find a way to remain calm, and I squeeze it in my hold, peek at the teacher, and wait for the lesson to begin.

•••

4:20 pm.

I step inside my house after coming home but crying on the way here, with Alex who couldn't ask anything but hear me. I wipe my tears away to erase everything before seeing my dad since he's already home today, and I walk in.

As soon as I'm in the warmth of my home, I drop my bag on the floor and take my shoes and jacket off.

"Princess?" the only man who is able to always make me smile twenty-four hours a day calls me, and I hurry to take my jacket off once he appears within sight. "Dad..." I smile while feeling like a hole in my chest that cannot be filled entirely, and he opens his arms right when I step forth. His bright smile brings me some delight, and he takes me in a bear hug.

"How was your day?" he drops a kiss on the crown of my head, and I squeeze him, listening to his heartbeat. "Fine, but my period started, so that was hard. What about yours?"

"It was fine as well. Are you feeling okay right now? Are you in pain?" he looks down at my face to seek my features, but I remain in the same position. "My head is aching a little, but I'm okay."

"Oh, come here," he leans forth to pick me up and carry me. "Your mother isn't home before seven," he gives me good news and presses a kiss onto my temple, getting me to finally smile and feel some sort of softness inside. I close my eyes and let him carry me to my bedroom.

"Do you have a lot of work to do?" he holds me like a baby and talks to me in a tender manner. "Yes, but I just want to spend some time with you..." I mumble and hide my face in the crook of his neck, but he opens a door and enters my bedroom. "We'll stay together, don't worry. You have enough time to work."

"Yeah..." I pinch his dress shirt but feel him bend over, he lays me down on my bed and makes sure to put me under my blanket, and he sits down next to me. He opens a drawer of my nightstand and gets a heating pad out, he places it over my stomach and presses down onto a button to turn it on. He also takes a painkiller with it but stands up. "You can take your clothes off under the blanket, I'm coming back with some water and your pajama," he smiles at me and moves to my bathroom, so I remove the clothes I wore all day long and leave them on the bed.

In some short seconds, he comes back with a glass of water and puts it on my nightstand to head to my closet, so I swallow the pill, and he finally reappears with my favorite, white hoodie romper. He lays it over me, so I put it on under the blanket while feeling the temperature rise up onto me because of the heating pad.

"How was it with Jungkook today? Did you not want to come home with him?" he brings him forth when I hoped for him to not do it. I lie down without answering and put my hood on, then I look into his hazelnut eyes. I shake my head without saying anything. "Why?"

I shrug, keeping the words in my throat to not clear the way out for my tears.

He stares at me without asking more questions, but just from the look into his eyes, I can discern some concern. He comes closer, staying silent for a bit longer, and he never glances away. "What is wrong? Has something happened between you two?"

"Hm..." I do not answer with clear words since I would never dare to lie to him, neither want to do it. "What does that mean, honey?" he puts his hand on the blanket to have it over my stomach. He knows, he always knows.

"He just said some things...he was just mad, but don't worry," I pretend to be fine to reassure him, but this doesn't work, he wants to know more about this. "You know I cannot help but worry."

"Let's talk about it another time, okay?" I attempt to avoid this topic, and to my greatest relief, he doesn't talk about it more. "Okay, another time if you want."

I smile at him to thank him, and I take my hands out of the blanket to hold his warm one with both of mine and trace his veins. "I'm a bit tired today..."

"Rest as long as you need, honey. I want you to feel better when you're awake," he brushes my fingers with his but makes me doubt. I don't know if this is a good idea to sleep now, but I'm tired, physically and mentally. "Do you stay with me?"

"Of course, I do," he puts my mind at ease to not make me worry, so I trust him, and I close my eyes to calm down at first, but his lips press a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, sweet dreams," he whispers, and I open my eyes to answer. "I love you too," I close my eyes again after seeing him beam.

— One month later —

Monday, December 14, 2020.

8 am.

"Hey, baby," Korain takes me in his arms once I'm at his level, sitting on something in the schoolyard. I hug him. "Hey," I hold him tight and revel in the warmth of his embrace right in the morning of this cold day. "How are you?" he presses a kiss on my lips and gazes into my eyes. "I'm fine...what about you?"

"Fine too," he smiles but cups my chin, sticking his other hand in his pocket. He keeps his eyes on me but brushes his index finger over my skin. "Did you sleep well?" he asks, probably aware of how the past nights have gone. I shrug to answer him.

He understands just by the look into my eyes. "Do you want me to come to your house tonight?"

I nod without thinking twice. I want to see him and spend time with him. I really need it.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

"It feels like they're doing it on purpose," Hajoon notices them as well. My eyes landed on her as soon as she stepped in, and I cannot stop feeling broken whenever she touches him when he touches her and kisses her.

I bite my inner lip and glance away once his lips meet hers again. I lower my gaze down to my feet and breathe out heavily, my heart aching. "Anyway," he exhales. "Let's get to our classroom," he stands up and drags Taeyeong with him, but I don't follow. "I stay here a little," I look up at them, remaining on the bench.

"All right..." he doesn't insist since he knows I've been asking to stay alone lately, and they both leave together. Since I'm now all by myself, I look back in y/n's direction but see her in Korain's arms, those arms she barely leaves these last weeks. He holds her like a boyfriend would do it, and they both have their own moment, making me feel terribly hurt. Crying became a habit now, so why should I hold back? I'm too exhausted mentally to stop myself from letting my emotions out.

And why did I have to fall in love with her? To mess everything up and talk in such a way to the girl I love? I maybe deserve it, but I wish I could go back in time and just confess about my feelings for her instead.