shout-out to those who vote even before reading the chapter. i value your trust and i love you.

Going to that mall was so wrong, Zarek only realized.

He didn't want to spend the 500 dollars he got from Ashton - the only money he had in his pockets - so soon, but he felt like he owned it to Ryan as Raven had put it. Zarek had promised the twins to cover the expenses of their birthday party months prior to that - his gift included buying the booze with his fake ID, getting the birthday cake that Ryan had once insisted to be coconut flavored, and hiring someone to take care of the mess afterwards.

Zarek's relationship with Ryan was awkward in the mean time, so Zarek wouldn't have cared about offering his best friend the perfect seventeenth birthday. Zarek wasn't one to keep promises - apparently - but Zarek was guilty enough for how things turned out to make an exception for Ryan's sake. Zarek didn't really mind spending the only cash on him. It wasn't that much anyways, and if he waited a little over a week, then Theodore would reward him with the month's allowance.

What he did mind was Evangeline buying those damned shorts! The shorts were the very same slutty ones he had took from his sister's shopping bags a little less than a month ago. It was a fucking trigger, he couldn't stop himself from snapping despite deciding to move on, because he cared. Zarek didn't want Eva in those shorts just like he didn't want them for his sister. He didn't want anyone over the both of them because that would've literally crushed him from the inside.

His protectiveness towards Violet was understandable, she was his sister after all, but why was he so upset about Eva, who was a fucking nobody to him?

Zarek was in his room, on his comfortable bed, staring at those shorts. At that last thought, Zarek was up on his feet heading for his desk. He reached his hand out and held them, making a random paper fall on the the shiny, white tiles. Zarek recognize it as the paper he wrote when he was intoxicated.

Zarek collected it from the ground and shredded it to unreadable parts and flushed it down the toilet - it was a song that he wrote for Eva. He wrote most of the songs for Royal Blue so Raven wasn't suspicious when he told her to sing it. Zarek even dedicated it to Eva as well in Hunter's party. Apparently, that wasn't enough for her ridiculous standards and Zarek was so sick of trying to live up to her unrealistic expectations.

Zarek stared deeper at the clothing item, his mind swirling in unwanted thoughts. Maybe his fit had nothing to do with Eva as much as it had to do with those damned shorts. It resembled so much hate and resent towards himself that when he saw Eva buy them, that was it for him. He stepped aside and let the devil in him takeover.

Zarek made his way towards her, attempting to leave his ego aside and actually apologize - Zarek agreed with Hunter, short hair suited her and added to her sex-appeal - but when he got close enough to make out those Ksubi Rise N Hi jean garments, Zarek remembered everything that was wrong with him; his assholeness to Violet, his abuse to Eva, his twisted relationship with his stepmother. It reminded Zarek of the monster he really was, and monsters never apologized.

Zarek only demonstrated his realness, but it seemed like Eva couldn't take it - what a fucking coward.

Suddenly, Zarek remembered Ryan's words from the night of Hunter's party - you think that if you hurt her you'll stop loving her, but you're so deep you can't find your way out - and it all suddenly made sense. He only reacted like that because he gave a fuck. Zarek never did to other girls, he usually dumped them after he went about his business just like what happened with Alisha. Zarek had a few significant females in his life - Ophelia, Violet, and even Mrs. Biddy - and it seemed like Eva slipped herself in that list behind his attention or approval.

I really messed up. Zarek always hated women, slut-shaming them and using them, because he was convinced that they were all bitches hungry for sex. When he met Evangeline, a well respected lady with dignity and standards that exceeded the size of his dick and bank account, Zarek couldn't believe such a genuine person existed.

He had been breathing down her neck, trying to seduce her into being with him just to prove to himself that there was nothing special about her and that she was just like everybody else. By flaunting him off and rejecting him, Eva left Zarek flabbergasted. No girl ever said no to him, and Evangeline wouldn't be the first. Zarek took it upon him to lure her out of her good-girl act and show just how corrupted she was behind her religious beliefs. Zarek was too blinded in his own little challenge that he hadn't realized exactly how far he went.

If Eva was wicked and evil like any other girl, then she would've got him into trouble the first time he called her filthy names, or knocked her books, or tripped her, or almost stripped in front of her, or when he bullied her in front of the whole school, or when he cut her hair and forced himself on her.

Eva was virtuous and Zarek had violated her.

The weights of Zarek's actions fell down on him then, drowning him in pools of guilt and shame. He left his glassy house and took his Mustang to Ryan's home, determined on properly apologizing to her - whether for the hair or the kiss or the bullying - he didn't know exactly how, but he would try, at least.

When Zarek stepped a foot in Ryan's birthday party, he knew it was just as wrong as going to the mall.

The party was in full swing - horny teenagers pressed together as they drank his beer and loosened themselves to the blasting music from Raven's gigantic set of speakers, her being the event's DJ - but that scene melted into a blur at the sight of Eva with Ashton. Fuck, he completely forgot she was with him now, What was I thinking? Zarek was mistaken, Evangeline was no different than any other half-naked girl in that room in her shorts and crop top, face covered in more makeup than ever, her curvy body swaying to the music next to her hormonal boyfriend.

"She's so hot!" Raven screamed over the music, putting the playlist on shuffle as she left her DJ equipments for a chat with the ruthless dick. Raven jammed her hand to the upbeat music, her head bobbing and making her man-bun loosen a bit. "Too bad she's taken, though. It seems like Hunter dumped Anastasia for nothing."

Zarek tore his eyes from the disgusting couple and gazed at the tomboy, his defined jaw pressed in suspicion. "How do you know that?"

Raven shrugged, raising her fist and bumping Zarek's shoulder a little too hard. "I know things." If it wasn't for the boobs that jiggled with every sloppy dance move Raven made, Zarek would've thought the girl had a penis in those baggy pants. "Our birthday party crashed with another middle school party just down the street," Raven kept on talking although Zarek shared no interest in the conversation whatsoever. "That's fine by me, at least no kid will crash into my party."

Zarek ignored Raven's useless blabber, eyeing 'The Golden Couple' with one thought in his head - why him and not me? Zarek put his black hood on, covering his blond hair and most of his face, resembling a dangerous thug nobody wanted to be on his bad side. "I swear," Zarek muttered to himself, heading out of that party to go back home to his black hole, "I'm gonna send a pic of them to her fucking uptight mother, that'll teach the bitch not to mess with me."

Yes, Zarek was back at Evangeline again. He had previously decided that he was done, that he should move on, and that he would apologize, but after seeing her with that ginger wannabe, Zarek wouldn't leave her that easily. She ruined him and messed with his sanity, and now she was having the time of her life with her perfect boyfriend. She had no right enjoying her little innocent romance while Zarek twisted in his misery.

It was only fair, after all.