sensitive topics and scenes in this chapter. please read with caution.

"We have to take her to the Hospital, Ben, this is dangerous." Theodore pleaded, "She can die."

"No." Benjamin's stern voice made the pee in the bladder of five year-old, eavesdropping Zarek threaten to burst out. "She stays."

All what Zarek knew was that he was stoned as fuck and he didn't give a shit about anything. He had no sense of his surroundings or the time for that matter. He might've been in his black hole - his bedroom - in the present or fourteen years back in the shithole called Farmville as he glued his ear against the wooden door trying to get a glimpse of what was happening inside his parents' bedroom.

His mother's cries were echoing through the rusted house, each scream weaker than the last, making Zarek's inside curl and tighten.

He never heard his mother in so much pain. She was the one who usually soothed Zarek, so when it was the other way around, Zarek had no idea what to do. He wanted to help, but he knew that if he stepped a foot in his parents' bedroom he'd be disobeying Uncle Ben's words, and he wasn't brave enough to handle the punishment.

Zarek was at his desk, the plastic bag of the bluish powder he bought from Hunter for only one hundred dollars was sprawled in two lines in front of him. That one hundred dollar was his last, but this drug was such a steal. It did wonders to his body in such a short amount of time. Zarek wasn't stuck in the moment anymore. It wasn't like his past was any better, but at least he was familiar with it. He already coped and learned that whatever happened was probably for the best, so it was a waste to dwell on it.

Her cries stopped all of a sudden, being replaced by more youthful ones. Zarek's heartbeats accelerated, the excitement of having a sibling to play with was too much to contain. Zarek was the youngest child in the family, and most of the time he would play alone or with his mom because no one else was available.

When the midwife opened the door to leave, she didn't close it after her, leaving a small gap that was enough for little Zarek to peak in the room. Zarek couldn't make all of his big family members that were inside because his attention was captured by the little crying baby girl that was wrapped in bloody sheets inbetween Theodore's arms.

Before Zarek could bring his nostrils to the powder, he eyed Violet's Jean shorts for a minute straight - she would be so dissapointed with me. Violet had no idea what sort of stuff her brother was involved into, and she would be heartbroken to learn about quarter of it. In Zarek's defense, he was addicted to the cigarettes only and not the drugs - okay, maybe just a little bit, but it wasn't like he was fully depended on it. He could stop whenever he felt like it, but he was choosing to do it.

Somehow, choosing to do it with his own will was worse than being addicted. He was ruinning himself on purpose, but he convinced himself that he deserved it after all the beautiful things in the world that he ruined. It was only fair.

It took a while for Zarek to notice something odd with the situation.

The first wrong thing he noticed was a strong metallic odor that smelled like his blood usually did whenever he was cut by one of the plants when he gardened with his father and Uncle Ben. The second thing was that his entire family were all looking at his parents' bed with a face that had a look that was too raw for five-year-old Zarek to figure out. Zarek glanced at the bed, and the crisp white sheets had big red stains all over them. His mother would be so upset when she would have to clean them up later.

Little did Zarek know that Ophelia wouldn't care about her favorite sheets when she was in the grave.

Zarek breathed in the new chemicals despite the old doze not fading yet. His electrical green eyes shut on their own, his defined jaw setting as his entire body was sent into pure bliss. For a moment there, Zarek could breathe without his horrible actions weighting him down. Zarek was sure that once he would be back from his rush then all the self-hate and guilt would come back stronger than ever, but for now, Zarek was peaceful and it felt too good to let go of.

Zarek didn't understand what was going on, so he kept looking, hoping to get a sense of the situation.

His family members were all silent, heaving with what Zarek recognized as sorrow but mostly relief. The only noise was the little newborn screaming her lungs out in Theodore's embrace. Zarek glanced at his father, who - to Zarek's utter shock - was crying. Never in a million years did Zarek think that his father would cry - he was so strong and big! Zarek was expecting for his father to explain what was happening to him, he always did, but Zarek knew that this time was different.

Zarek found himself standing in front a white door with floral design and green leafs adorning it. He twisted the doorknob and walked in. It was too dark for Zarek's sensitive eyes, but he didn't need to see, he just needed to follow his senses. Zarek could hear his serene sister dozed off on her pastel bed, having royal and happy dreams. Zarek was slightly envious for that.

Violet was the reason Zarek's story ended up where he was right now. She was that unexpected plot twist, and despite loving his sister to death, he sometimes wished she never existed. Maybe then he would be a decent human being that wouldn't bring shame to his father's face and disappoint the only person he cared what they thought of him - his mom. That was only a fantasy though, and this was a reality.

Theodore collapsed on the ground, silent tears rolling down his cheeks and landing on the crying, bloody baby in his lap. They were the only ones crying, the rest were enjoying what was happening too much to show any sympathy.

"Ophelia, you got what you deserve for defying us and turning Theo against us." Uncle Ben said, his mustache covered lips curled in mockery. "Rest in peace, orphan."

It was the impact of those horrible words that snapped Theodore out of his sorrowful stance. He jumped to his feet, hands clutching at the baby girl, and stormed out of the room. He almost stepped on Zarek due to his anger. He grabbed his son's hands and led him outside the house.

Once they were under the sun, being cooled down by the breezy wind, Theodore crouched down and showed Zarek his sister. "Ophelia wanted to name her Violet," Theo smiled involuntarily, "She has your mother's blue eyes. Isn't she pretty?"

Zarek nodded, watching the repressed tears in his father's eyes. He knew his father was holding back in front of him, but only if he knew that Zarek was willing to comfort him if needed.

"Listen, son, we're leaving." Theo looked straight at Zarek, something serious and edgy taking over his facial features. "It's something I should've done a long time ago. I can't let Violet go through all of that."

Zarek shook his head. "What about mom?"

Theo flinched in pain before he composed himself again. "Your mother hated it here, she always wanted to get away."

Zarek smiled, because he wanted nothing than to run away from this toxic environment as well. "Let's go and bring her with us then."

"No," Theo's face distorted in pain. "Ophelia is happy somewhere else."

Zarek leaned forward and sniffed her, his nostrils marveling over her familiar sweet smell. Yes, it was dark as shit and Zarek couldn't see for his life, but he didn't need to see. He just needed to follow his senses, and his senses told him that he was where he needed to be in that moment.

Eva was pressed against the wall, and Zarek could sense her fear. She had all the right to be afraid of him, yet Zarek didn't want her to fear him. He just wanted her to accept him. He wrapped his arms around her thin frame, and for once he wasn't driven by his bulge like he usually was - especially around Eva. His touch was stripped of its lust, and was full of neutral love instead, which weirded Zarek out.

"Please don't hate me," Zarek pleaded, hanging his head low, "I don't mean all the things I say and do. I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay, Zarek," Eva hugged him back, smiling against his broad chest. "You're my brother and I love you no matter what."

Brother? Was that what he was to her? A fucking brother? Eva friendzoned him before, but this was an entire new level. Zarek took a step back, wanting nothing more than to punch the redheaded beauty that kept rejecting him. He should've been used to it by now, he should've left her and moved on with dignity, but there was something about Eva that made him coming back each time. Besides, it wasn't like Zarek was known for doing the things he should do anyways.

Zarek stumbled in the dark for the light switch a couple times before he illuminated the room. Zarek glanced at the girl who just rejected him and almost stumbled upon the sight of her - she wasn't Eva, she was Violet!

Fuck. But she smelled just like her, how could Zarek trip and do something as stupid? Zarek went for his sister's makeup stand and picked up her bottle of Victoria's Secret Pure Seduction perfume, smashing it against her pastel pink wall. The glass bottle shredded to prickly parts, the heavenly sweet perfume a thick cloud in the air.

Zarek turned around then, glaring at his trembling sister who must be thinking how much bipolar he was. "Don't ever wear that perfume again," he hissed, getting closer to her deep blue eyes that made him hate himself everytime he gazed at them because they reminded him of his mother and how dissapointed she would be if she were to see him now. "Or else it's gonna be your skull smashed against the wall and not just the bottle."

Zarek had all the right to act that way. He was intoxicated with that perfume and he was her fucking brother, so what if it was another man? Zarek's insides raged at the mere thought despite his chill mood from all the drugs he consumed. If there was one thing that terrified Zarek was his sister in the hands of a pervert.

"No," Violet hissed, surprising Zarek by lunging at him and punching his chest repeatedly. "Stop controlling my life, you don't have the right-"

"I'm your older brother, I have all the fucking right." Zarek caught her wrist with ease, twisting it and gaining control over her fragile body with the simple gesture. "You're barely fourteen and you're acting like this? You can't be trusted, I need to stop you from being a disgusting whore."

"You certainly don't mind your girls to be whores." Despite the tears gliding down her deep blue eyes, Violet sounded threatening, making Zarek's polluted heart stop. He feared she was brave enough to defy him, because then Zarek wouldn't hold back from disciplining her like he was right now.

"Careful." Zarek tightened his grip, granting her a nasty bruise. His other hand grasped a fistful of her brown locks of hair and yanked her head up to force her to face him. Zarek's jaw was ticking so hard he felt like he was about to break it, the pain from it helped him regain a little of his senses and he loosened his hold on Violet.

"What's going on here?" Someone said, making Zarek tear his threatening electric green eyes and glare at Charlize. She was in a see-through velvet nightwear that screamed sugar mommy. She knotted the belt around her robe, tucking her sex hair behind her ears. Once her eyes registered what happened, she frowned and took a step forward. "Zarek, what are you doing?"

Before he could answer her, the old maid, Mrs. Biddy entered. She gasped at the sight. She didn't know what to do to help, so she ran to the previously smashed perfume bottle and picked up the prickly glass. Soon after, her finger was cut and she hissed in pain.

Zarek should've cared about her safty - she was the only respectful older woman present in his life - but at the moment he really didn't give a fuck. He let go of his sister, who exploded crying, and attempted to leave. However, Charlize came in the way.

"Hey, why so tense?" She purred, her wrinkly hand massaging his bicep. "I can help you, Theo just left for a business dinner-"

Zarek widened his eyes at her audacity - she was saying those things in front of Violet and Mrs. Biddy. "Back off." Zarek sidestepped her, too disgusted to even touch.

"I don't understand," Violet whimpered after him, dropping her courageous act. "You just apologized to me, so why would you do this?"

Zarek didn't answer because he didn't know himself and left not only her room but the entire house. His father was out which meant that Zarek had his chance to get away before his father got back.

"Where's our mom?" Six-year-old Violet stomped on her little feet, a deep frown adorning her angelic features. "I really really really want to meet her."

Eleven-year-old Zarek glared at her with his lethal green eyes, making her fear him. He leaned forward, holding so much hatred and venom towards his sister. "You killed her," he deadpanned, "And for that I will always hate you."

Zarek was in Alisha's bedroom. He didn't remember how he got in but he knew he sneaked through the backdoor since her mom was stricter than Hannah West. All what Zarek knew was that he needed to leave because his entire houde smelled like her. It wasn't like Alisha would make him forget - she even had the same hazel eyes that Zarek hated and loved at the same time - but at least, according to Hunter, she gave great BJs and that was bound to get his mind off of things.

Despite them breaking up, Alisha still got on her knees like a slave, feeding Zarek's disgust towards her and confirming his suspicions that she was an official whore.

At least it wasn't Eva, Zarek thought. He was so glad that the drug didn't erase all of his common-sense and rape Evangeline. He might've literally killed himself if he did anything of the sort.