I SAID I'D UPLOAD DAYS AGO BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON

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"Danny..do you love me?"

"Yes,"

-

( 24 Hours Earlier )

"Two months," i said as I walked down the street with Jake.

"Two months?" He asked.

"Yeah," I murmured. "Since she died,"

"Oh.."

Yes. It had been 2 months since my beautiful little girl died at not even 1 week, 1 day old. I was still greiving, but I had Gabriel to look out for now. I could see that Dad wasn't too happy about my name choice, but at the same time I knew he loved it. I was going to change the meaning of the name to him. I was going to prove that a boy called Gabriel, could have a fucking amazing life.

"I like the name Ella," Jake murmured. "Even though it was Britt's idea, it's actually quite nice,"

Yeah, we'd called the baby Ella. It had been Britt's idea. Since I'd called the baby boy Gabriel, I said she could have first pick for the girl. She named her after her best friend who died of solven abuse a few years back. She'd helped Britt through her Dad's abuse, it was actually kinda sweet.

Andy was in jail, which made me feel safe. He wasn't just in for kidnapping, but also drugging me and having acess to those drugs. Britt had got off easy, just a few weeks in a cell.

Dad was getting better, a lot better actually. I thought that he'd drink and smoke shit after the death, but he didn't. He was the one to drag me away from the razor most nights for the 1st few weeks. He was the one to hold me more or less every night while I cried myself to sleep. He was great. And so was Mom, but I didn't need her comfort as much as I needed Dad's. He was the reason I was coping, the reason I would always cope.

"How does that baby look so much like Hunter?" Mom wondered as I walked into the house. She was sat on the couch with Gabriel in her arms, staring at him like he was the most beautiful person in the world; which he was.

"Because I'm Dad's kid, maybe?"

"Funny,"

"Where is Dad?"

"Where do you think?" Mom laughed. "Making coffee as usual,"

"Best man ever," I grinned as I made my way through to the kitchen and as usual, Dad was stood there pouring coffee into a cup.

"Hey kid," he smiled. Pointing towards a cup on the table, he added "that's for you,"

"Love you Daddy," I chuckled as I went to sit down. Dad made like, the best coffee ever. He didn't get the cheap stuff, he got the proper strong shit. It was so unhealthy but so good. He got like a cup of milk, put it in the microwave for 2 minutes and put coffee in it. Then added 2 and a half table spoons, yes tablespoons, of sugar, and drank the beautiful liquid down. It was amazing.

"How was school?" he asked as he sat down opposite me.

"Meh," I sighed. "I missed Gabe. I wanna go hug him but hes asleep,"

"He'll wake later,"

"Yeah," I murmured. "Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot,"

"What would you say, if I told you I might be bi?"

"Bisexual,"

"Yee.."

"I'd say Jake seems like a nice guy," he smirked and I rolled my eyes. He knew. He fucking knew. "What? Alex and James can hear shit, you know? You and Jake are apparently louder than them 2,"

"Oh my God," I groaned. "So..you're ok with it?"

"With you being bisexual or with you liking Jake?"

"Erm, both..maybe, i dunno."

"For the bisexual stuff, I'd say kid, I've got 2 bisexual best friends. I'm cool with it. And for Jake, fucking go for it. The only thing is, Britt..she's not over you. God knows how long it's gonna be till she accepts you don't wanna be with her,"

"I don't trust her with Gabe," I murmured.

"No one blames you for that," he assured me. "The social worker's gonna be with us every time she sees her,"

"Guess so. When's she gonna be here?"

"Any time now,"

"Shit,"

"Danny-"

"I know, i know."

***

Britt was sat with Gabriel and the social worker, Terri. I didn't like her, or Britt that much anymore, but still, we had a baby. A beautiful baby who would never make the same mistakes that I did. He was gonna be a great kid, he already was. He barely ever cried, he just smiled and made those cute little baby noises.

"Danny, why wont you look at me?"

"You know why," I mumbled. I was terrified of leaving Britt alone with Gabriel, even though she was constantly being supervised. I just, I couldn't leave him with her. If she had it her way, she'd take him straight to Andy once he got out of jail, and they'd hurt him. I knew they would.

Gabe whimpered a little and I held back the urge to snatch him out of Britt's arms. She rocked him gently, kissing his forehead and he eventually stopped. He never whimpered with me, never.

"How have you been?"

"Fine," I said quietly.

"You never call me anymore,"

"I never did," I reminded her. "You always called me,"

"Remember when we were close?"

"Wish I didn't,"

"I'd call you every few days, asking if you wanted to fuck off somewhere."

"And by fuck off you literally meant fuck,"

"I just loved being with you," she admitted. "In every single way. I loved you Daniel, I still do. Don't you love me?"

"No," I said honestly. "I really fucking don't. I hate you,"

"Daniel," Terri sighed but I cut her off.

"Stay out of this," I snapped. "I hate you Britt. And if you think for even a second that I love you, then you're more fucked up than I am. Get it into your head, I hate you."

"Maybe," she said quietly. "But just for no,"

"No. For ever."

***

Late night phone calls were fun. Gabriel had slept through the rest of the day so he was like, wide awake in my arms. I was just bouncing him on my knee whilst he laughed and pulled at my hair. I was also on the phone to Jake, wishing that he was with me. It'd be fun.

"Bruuuuuum," Gabe spat on me, and laughed his fucking ass off. Good thing he was cute, good thing.

"Gaaaabe," I groaned.

"What did he do now?" Jake chuckled.

"He spat on me,"

"HA HA FUCKING HA. GIve the kid a high five for me, yeah?"

"Meh. People aren't nice to me,"

"Awh, Danny." He whimpered, "I love you. You know I do,"

"I know," I sighed; wiping spit off my cheek. "Can we do something tomorow?"

"Anything but go to a coffee shop,"

"What? But-"

"Danny, you and your Dad are gonna kill me with this caffeine shit. God help that baby,"

"Yo' gonna have your first cup of coffee tomorrow Gabey," I smiled and bounced him up and down. Jake was on loud speaker so I had my hands free to hold Gabe. He was pulling my hair really hard now but it was too cute for it to hurt.

"No! Don't dam the kid!"

"Too late, I just overdosed him on caffeine pills."

"God, save us."

"Funny," I chuckled. "Nah I'm staying home with Gabe,"

"What about school?"

"Tomorrow's saturday dumbass,"

"Don't be mean," he said sternly. "What about I just come round?"

"Sounds good,"

"Now, I don't wanna hang up but I want you to have some fun with your kiddie. I love you, and I love you too Gabe!"

"Gabey, say bye to Jakey," I urged.

"Bruuuuuum,"

***

"If you throw up on me one more time, I'm gonna kill your Dad."

"Dad, shut up," I rolled my eyes as I sat next to him. He was holding Gabe, being all cute. I knew Dad had always wanted a baby, but he was infertile. I knew he blamed himself, with all the alcahol and drugs. But it was his Dad's fault as well.

"I love baby smell,"

"You're weird,"

"Danny, baby smell is great. Just smell him, smell him!"

"I don't wanna smell him,"

"Bruuuum, bruuuuum."

"That's cute," Dad chuckled.

"And also the only word he can say,"

"We should teach him how to say coffee,"

"Of course,"

"So what you doing today?"

"Jake's gonna come round and we're just gonna spend time with Gabe," I said. "I know he wants to go out, but i can't leave him. School's hard enough,"

"You and Jake then?" He raised an eye-brow. "You gonna say something?"

"I dunno," I sighed. "I want to but-"

"But?"

"I dunno, I just, meh."

"What about your Mom and I take Gabe out for a few hours? You guys can have some time to talk. Talk. Nothing more,"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Of course I am,"

Ok. Ok. So I was gonna tell Jake I loved him. No big deal, no big deal.