Distress and Impasse

Their youth stripped away by the time
Of false holiness masking crime
Their innocent gowns tinted red
Her hands, craving the warmth of bloodshed

»»-----　★　-----««

Ferdinand groaned as he lowered down the heavy tome shielding his pale face. "Your mind is adrift. Again."

For the nth time, Eva rose her arm, Aither flowing through her veins. Time warped in her mind, and euphoric dizziness followed. Underneath her long robe, her soft flesh trembled. The breeze gushed through the broad windows, but despite the bitter weather, she was sweating.

Her fingertips began to glow a hue of gold. It sparked, on and off like a broken flame. She centered her attention on her palms as a faint construct started to shape from the light.

She beamed in excitement. Finally, her effort was beginning to pay off.

But just before the form solidified, her mind drifted away just enough to break her concentration. Eva collapsed on the floor, nearly drained of Aither.

Crap. Eva's chest tightened around her ribs. She chased her breath, her body succumbing to the weakness.

"Haven't I told you to focus?" A loud, lethargic sigh flew out of Ferdinand. "You're distracted!"

Eva clenched her jaw. "It's no use. You're not teaching me right," she muttered, pulling her already frustrated teacher in further distress.

"I'm your mentor, in case you've forgotten. I'm fairly certain the problem isn't with me," he said. "If you can accomplish summoning a star moth using a training ring, then you could also manage without it!"

Eva rose and made her way to the window, pounding her boots like a hammer against the wooden boards. She crouched in front of the opened shutters, letting the dazzling view of the sunset wash away her anger.

"We've been doing this the whole damn day," she grumbled through tight lips. "Clearly, we're advancing nowhere."

With his mystical strings, Ferdinand handed the maiden a glass of water. He then pulled the only chair in the room toward himself and sat. "Perhaps what happened during the last few days is still bothering you. I don't usually ask this, but—do you mind talking about it?"

Eva looked up at the doctor, brows creased. "It's not myself I'm worried about."

"So you fret because of Faun and Calvin?" His voice carried amusement. "Those two have been through far worse. Everything will turn out fine."

"Faun had to relive her trauma. Calvin almost died. You read a dozen books a day, but it seems like you have no clue about the definition of the word fine."

"So Faun told you about her past. That's great." He bobbed his head. "Still, the fact remains. I know them more than you do. Darius and I have seen first-hand what they have endured. I know what they're made of."

"If you truly understood what they're feeling, then you wouldn't be against killing those priests."

Without looking at him directly, Eva felt Ferdinand's lips twist into a scowl. "The only thing that comes after a murder is guilt. As a person who has surpassed death, you seem to lack the understanding that death is the end for any ordinary person."

Eva turned around, glaring at him. His poise—the proud and mighty posture that appeared to know everything. It irritated her. Her bones were shivering, belittled. In the end, she walked away, as silent as the dead of night that was slowly approaching.

"Please, Eva. Have some decency." His steps pounded as he trailed behind the maiden. "With a temper like that, you will not last a day inside the Citadel!"

"Maybe that's true," she said. "Maybe I am just destined to die again and spend the rest of eternity filled with guilt!"

"We all have our own sets of trauma, Eva." Ferdinand's voice echoed. "I might not be a doctor of the human mind, but I've cut open enough brains to understand how it works."

The maiden turned around and reached for the bronze doorknob; the chilling metal froze her fingertips.

"Eva," he called out once again. "All this time we've been trying to help you. But it's no use if you don't want to help yourself."

She faced the man; her emotions had taken over. "You know nothing about me!" she snapped.

Silence. It was as if the world froze by itself to pave time for Eva to reflect on what she had done. She swallowed as she looked down. The mere thought of gazing up was a bind stronger than any shackle. She pinned her sight on her feet and strived to make her words.

"I-I'm sorry. I just needed to rest. That's all." She turned her back against him and pulled the door open.

Before it clasped on its frame, she heard the man struggle to voice his sentiments. "Y-you're no longer a stranger to us, Eva. So don't treat us like one."

* * *

Eva fumbled her steps, perhaps because of the exhaustion champing at her flesh. Her muscles were aching. It was a mistake to leave without Ferdinand's sorcery to alleviate the pain. Oh well, there was no other way but forward.

The doctor's words kept echoing in the back of her mind as she roamed the house like a lost child.

Am I not a stranger? Who are they kidding?

As she stomped past the paned windows—the tint of sunset lighting up the manor—a peculiar silhouette caught her attention. A petite woman sat straight on the staircase with her mind adrift. With a teacup in hand, she took a sip while watching a collection of brooms dance through the room.

"Faun," she said, recognizing her sorcery.

The young lady turned to her and prompted her teacup to float away. "What are you doing wandering around? Has your training with the doctor concluded?"

Eva nodded and sat beside her.

"The look on your face says that your training isn't going well," Faun said.

"We're off to a rocky beginning, but we'll get through it," Eva replied with false interest. "How about you? You seem to look more cheerful—considering all that happened."

"I'm just trying my best to keep afloat," she said. "Watching my enchantments is therapeutic, isn't it? Doing something like this helps, you know."

"I agree. Once upon a time, when all my life was nothing but crap—I also had something that kept me sane, my diary."

"Oh? I didn't perceive you as the type of person who likes to write." Faun chuckled. "What happened to it?"

"I lost it." Eva somehow kept her eyes from shedding a tear. Fazed by where's the conversation is going, she deviated from the topic. "Anyway, how's Calvin doing?"

"Not good. He's still unconscious," Faun said and stood. "Do you want to see him?"

"Well, if you don't mind."

"I'm sure he'd like to see you too."

The moon had already taken dominion over the sky when Faun and Eva arrived at Calvin's chambers. The enchanted lamps sparked simultaneously just after the sun dove down the horizon. The door opened by itself, welcoming the two ladies as they strutted inside.

The moment Eva's feet stepped inside the humble room, lightlessness spread through her aching muscles, numbing the pain.

"You could feel it, don't you?" Faun said while she strolled to the end of the room toward the bed. "I enchanted this room to have healing properties."

"I didn't you could do that," Eva asked as her eyes spread open in amazement. Contrary to her room of utter blanks, Calvin's had swords and blades displayed on every space on the wall. A great bookshelf stood, filled with tomes about illusions and books about swordsmanship.

"Don't you remember? This house itself is an extension of my sorcery." Faun's voice caught Eva's rambling attention. "I can take the talents of everyone inside this manor. As long as the doctor is around, I can channel a fragment of his Aither. That's how I enchanted every single object inside this room with healing properties."

"Well, if that's the case, why isn't Calvin waking up?"

Eva pointed her eyes to the boy lying in bed. A silky sheet covered half of his body while thick bandages wrapped around his limbs. Contrary to the last time she saw him, he looked well. The wounds and bruises faded away, not even leaving the faintest scar.

"Doctor Harbor said his body was drained out of Aither. He'll need time to recover."

"How long?"

"He didn't say." Faun gulped. "But considering the injuries those bastards gave him, I believe it'll take a long time."

The atmosphere went heavy. Faun stared at Calvin while the memories poured like a tidal wave inside Eva's mind. She wanted to talk to her—to at least show her gratitude, but she was unsure if it was the best thing to do. Burdened by the guilt of her own, she mustered her courage with a sharp sigh.

"Have you and Darius shared a talk about what to do with the prisoners?" Eva asked, her eyes staring at Calvin.

"We have, actually. The master refuses to turn against the church while the doctor is still against bloodying his hands." She puffed. "They still insist on giving them a fair trial in Frisca."

"Frisca. I've heard the three of you talk about it. What is it, exactly?"

Faun squinted her eyes. "Of course. Someone from Locksgarde wouldn't know."

"What do you mean?"

Faun crossed her legs as she leaned back. "The Friscan Theocracy is a land ruled by the church. Among all the other countries, Frisca has the friendliest relations with Xamere."

"The church, huh," Eva whispered. "So they're the one responsible for all of this."

"That, we don't know." Faun sighed. "Not everyone from that place is like those heartless priests that we encountered."

Eva shrugged.

"Master Whisper, for example," Faun continued. "I heard he was born in Frisca."

That makes sense. Calvin did mention that Darius is a devout believer.

Seeking to relieve her curiosity, she asked, "About this church. What do you know about it?"

"How would I know? I'm not a follower," she said. "Although, I do remember that the leader of the church is an acquaintance of Master Whisper."

"Leader of the church?"

"If you're interested in that, then you better ask the master himself. He knows more about the theology than anyone."

"I doubt that," Eva said. "If we hadn't intervened, then those children would still be suffering."

Faun shook her head. "Even though I don't agree with the masters, I understand them, you know."

"Oh, please. I know you grew up here, but you should know that they're not the perfect creature you envision them to be." Eva rolled her eyes. "It's alright to put them down the pedestal once in a while."

"I know why they decided to send the criminals back to the church." Faun stood in her seat while carrying her crimson dress. She lumbered towards Calvin and leaned down. "They had no choice. Their hands are tied," she said. But mine isn't."

Malice filled Faun's voice, trembling as it propagated through the frosty air. She stared at Calvin with the pain oozing out of her face. Eva knew what it all meant.

Eva grabbed the lady's wrist, turning her around. "Are you planning to do something?"

Startled, Faun broke out of her immersion. She dabbed her rosy cheeks with a cloth before taking back her hand from Eva's grasp.

"Is it that obvious?" She swallowed to regain composure.

"So you do plan to take revenge?"

"Yes, I am." She looked away, ashamed. "But you mustn't tell the masters. Promise me."

"I won't. But first, tell me that you know what you're doing!"

"I am planning to deliver justice," Faun said, loud and determined. "But to do that, I'll need your help."

She brought down her head; her hair swayed down with it. "Please." The gray discoloration in her summit was as apparent as ever. Eva never thought that a day would come when the young lady would dip her head in front of her. But instead of feeling entertained, she felt pity.

"I see." Eva sighed. "So when are we going to do it?"

Faun shook her head. "This is my fight. I won't drag you any more than I already had."

"Alright, then what do you want me to do?"

"I need someone to keep the doctor preoccupied."

"I can handle that, but how are you going to keep Darius away?"

She looked away in hesitance. "The master is scheduled to leave tomorrow night. I plan to commence at nine sharp."

"I see. So you've already planned everything." Eva chuckled. Deep down, she was amused. Who would have thought Faun would turn against her master's orders?

"I won't stop you, but first, I want you to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me that you are aware of the consequences."

Without a moment's delay, the young lady bobbed her head. "I'm ready to give up everything. Even the master's trust."

"Well, I got to hand it to you. You're braver than expected," Eva continued. "So long as you believe that this is what you want, I'll support you."

"Thank you, Eva." Faun leaned forward, prompting the maiden into an embrace. "Keep Safe."

As the hug broke, Eva strode away. She went to her room, thinking. Am I pushing her too far? This is what she wants, definitely.

Am I leading her to justice or shoving her into an inescapable pit?