(Y/N) POV:

I glance at the calendar with a feeling of giddiness. The end of the year is coming and so is my birthday. It doesn't matter that I've spent the last few with my soulmates, the novel feeling doesn't fade. The exhilaration and elation that makes me feel like our relationship is still in the early stages- where everything seems bright and bold and beautiful.

But the beauty, boldness and brightness hasn't faded. Rather it's increased with time. Each experience brings emotions flooding through me, each touch, each kiss sets me alight with an even stronger passion and surge of love.

It'll be my fourth birthday with them. When tomorrow dawns, it'll be the fourth time celebrating my birthday with my soulmates. Somehow, they'd managed to turn birthdays into something magical, unexpected, and new. They never did the same thing; they always had a surprise up their sleeve. Planned and plotted away, feigning ignorance, and acting like they didn't know, always pretending until the last day- holding it in somehow before showering me with endless love.

I can't wait for what tomorrow holds.

And I happily snuggle into my blankets, knowing that at some point in the night or whilst I'm asleep, one of them will make their way next to me.

----

When I wake up, there's only blankets and pillows that greet me. No warm body cocooning mine, no arm flung around my waist, no legs entangled with my own. No breath that shares the same air as me, and no face, sleeping or awake, that greets me when I blink my eyes open.

It's a foreign feeling. It happens so rarely that it makes my skin prickle with the beginnings of discomfort, from the days when I avoided them to now where their absence is unsettling. I reach out across the empty, undisturbed end of the bed but my fingers clasp on nothing.

I slip out of bed, determined to not let that deter me, bounding eagerly to my wardrobe to carefully choose my clothes. A grey sweater dress, thick woollen tights before I walk over to the bathroom, stripping and stepping under the hot cascade of water- allowing the steam and heat of the shower sluice away my morning disappointment. No one enters through the door, even though it remains unlocked. No sounds of life save for me.

After I've towelled myself off dry, I slip on a matching grey silk lingerie set, slightly darker than the knitted fabric of my sweater dress, the soft fabric glides gently against my skin and sits there lightly. I pull on the sweater dress and tights, allow them to rest against my skin with all the warmth of being wrapped in a blanket.

It's a weekday but I took the day off- wanting to spend it with my soulmates so we can make the most of today. But when I get downstairs, half of my soulmates aren't there and Joonie oppa, Tae and Yoongi oppa sit around the breakfast table, hastily gulping down their hot beverages and scarfing down breakfast with a tempo I recognise too well—'the I'm going to be late to work' pace. They notice me, small smiles coming out but they're already hastening to their feet, quick squeezes to my arm, a quick kiss brushed across my head but in the hurried nature of the gesture skims the air as the three of them leave, all busy with the agenda of getting to work on time.

Their hurried loud yells of goodbye echo in the silent living room, amplifying my loneliness now that they've all gone. I sink down onto the couch, that sinks gently under me but there's no warmth cocooning me from either side. No arms that scoop me up to hold me against a warm chest, no kisses or cuddles or teases or chatter. Nothing.

But this is part of their surprise. Even though they know this part is there only for the theatricality of it all. So they can present to me with flourishes an incredibly thoughtful plan that never fails to bring tears to my eyes. Even though waiting isn't my forte, not when it comes to spending time with them.

I stay there for a while, only getting up to make myself a hot drink, sinking into the corner of the couch, the large length now intimidatingly void of life, my old habit of sitting pressed into the corner flares up- seeking respite from the way it presses reassuringly against my back, the only thing that's present and providing me with support.

My hands latch onto the mug, starving for the heat and warmth of the hot chocolate inside, even if something inside me sinks.

But I have to say that their acting has gotten better. And maybe their plan is for the evening for when they all get home. Maybe they couldn't take time off- even though they do work so incredibly hard that one day off shouldn't have made such a difference.

Silence makes for horrible company. Rouses up irrational thoughts and leaves me sitting there aimlessly, the house now void of anything except my drooping self.

But then my phone goes off- ringing as I get a call. My hands sets down the now cool mug- contents still mostly there, eager fumbling fingers which latch onto my phone and bring it up with eager shining eyes. They can't keep the façade up. They've called to say they're coming home.

It's not them.

But even so, I answer the phone, dredging up a beaming smile even though they can't see my face.

"(Y/N)-ah! Happy birthday my love!" a warm exuberant voice fills my ears, the genuine smile of Myungsoo oppa being felt even though I can only hear him.

It settles something in me, puts the part that frets uselessly at rest.

"Thank you oppa!" I say, the cheeriness not as forced as I'd feared it would have to be.

We chat for a little while, conversation flowing easily. He hangs up with the promise of visiting soon or catching up and the offer that should I ever need a cat to cuddle- the offer always stands.

I know without him having to say it that he's picked up on something in my voice.

Something that's not normal.

I hug the phone to my chest, cradle close the only connection I currently have to my soulmates- there only way of contacting me, sparking that joy in me again.

But the phone never rings, never lights up with any message but still I can't bring myself to part from it, still clinging onto the hope that they won't drag this game on all day.

Because it's a game I don't want to play any longer.

----

A soft blanket is pulled over me, half-covering me, a hand that rests against my brow and vanishes just as quickly as it came. A whisper of a touch that I'm sure I've imagined it.

"Let her sleep. We might disturb her." a tired fond voice says from somewhere above me.

But a pair of arms come to lift me up, bundle me close to a warm chest- I lean towards the source of heat, my soul craves it.

I hover between sleep and alertness, unable to tell if the voices are my imagination or are really there. But the voices quickly fade. Vanish. As if they had been nothing but a figment of my soulmate-starved heart.

----

The sky is dark, a shade of blue so dark that you could mistake it for black. Perfectly reflecting what I'm feeling. A hollow, endless void in my chest- in the shape of memories that my soulmates have always filled with happiness, always wiped away my past with brighter moments of our today.

But I can't help the sinking feeling. Can't help the despair and resignation that begins to fill me, rising higher and higher, submerging me in such deep depths that I have no option but to surrender to them, drowning in them, a victim to them.

My body feels heavy, weighed down. I can't remember how the day has past, I don't know if I closed my eyes and fell asleep or the blankness of my shut eyelids was merely my way of escaping the sight of the empty house that greeted me.

My phone rings again, the screen considerably dimmer than it had been earlier on yesterday, I realise with a jolt. Winter nights and winter days merge together.

I bring it with weary hands to my ear, speaking softly into it. Push aside a blanket that had definitely not been there earlier. And my room which I didn't recollect going to.

"Hello." I say.

"(Y/N)-ah? What's wrong kitten?" JB oppa's reassuring and warm voice calls through the phone, his voice providing me with inexplicable comfort at the moment.

"Oppa..." is all I manage to get out before a shuddering breath loosens itself from my throat.

"(Y/N)-ah. Kitten. I need you to come open the door. You can do that. Come on love, slowly does it. Up you get." His warm voice is replaced with Jinyoung oppa's- voice laced with love and concern but rouses me to my feet, move me down the stairs, brings me to the front door which I swing wide open and come face to face with all seven of them.

JB oppa steps forward, no doubt having seen the jumbled mess of emotions and thoughts, read them, and understood. So he just holds me close, wrapping me into his arms, holding me close.

They're all bundled up in coats, eyes alert despite the early hour.

"Can we go home?" I ask, hating the hurt I hear in my voice.

It shouldn't hurt this much. I should get over it. But at the moment all my heart is feeling is a never-ending surge of stinging- as though I've been stripped raw and all my wounds are left fresh and gaping.

Home. A place I'll always have with them.

I hear the pained, wounded sound from someone, feel another pair of arms come to wrap around and hold me close.

"Let's get you home kit." Mark oppa says, voice slightly rough but hands ever so gentle as he guides me to the car. Taking me away from this all.

----

I sit forlornly on Yugyeom's bed, stubbornly avoiding his puppy eyes as he tries to wheedle me into eating.

"I don't want to Gyeom-ah. You can't make me." I retort, turning away from the spoon he brought forward to my mouth.

He sighs, turning to look desperately at Jackson oppa who sits on my other side.

I turn away, nestle myself closer to Jackson oppa and relax into the embrace he naturally and automatically scoops me into, I stare intently at the pattern of the knit on his jumper, trying to ignore the burning sensation in my eyes and the lump in my throat- that makes swallowing and breathing harder.

"Kit, let it out." He whispers into my hair, tucking my head under his chin as he holds me.

And that's all it takes. For the dam to shatter. For the floodgates to burst. And for my heart and soul to weep with tears that are salty and bloody.

JACKSON POV:

I hug the exhausted girl closer, see how her eyes are fatigued and weary and heavy but she still refuses to let them shut, eyes red-rimmed and slightly puffy, tear-stained cheeks even as fresh hot tears bubble out and spill down them, marking a new course. She sniffs, the sound so devastated that it tugs harshly at my heartstrings.

I can't see her like this. None of us can.

All of us have tried to help her. Soothe her. But nothing we say or do brings a smile to her face, coaxes food or drink into her mouth or urges her to sleep.

Youngjae stands fretting in the corner, posture incredibly stiff, fingers tapping restlessly against the wall, eyes constantly darting back to look at (Y/N) before sliding away with hurt- as though it pains him to keep his eyes on her.

JB and Jinyoung stand in the doorway, faces pinched with concern, lips drooping further when (Y/N) lets out a hiccupping sob.

Then Mark strides forward, face tight.

He kneels down on the bed next to us, Yugyeom having vacated the space for him, his hand gently comes to wipe away the tears that fall, but more replace them.

"Sleep." He urges, voice thick and heady- urging her into a state of calm, compels her to slide her aching eyes shut against her will.

But when her lashes flutter against her cheek, body going loose, one hand remains flatly pressed against my chest.

"This can't go on any longer." Mark grits out.

Bambam brings Mark's phone forward, lip caught between his teeth as he nibbles worriedly on it.

But when Mark dials a number and brings the phone to his ear and speaks- there isn't a trace of any forgiveness or our calm and gentle loving soulmate.

It's the voice of someone who promises pain because they've brought hurt to one of ours. They've hurt family. Our kitten.

And none of us could bear to see her hurting.

(THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS! I DIDN'T REALISE THE ANGST COULD GET DRAGGED OUT SO MUCH BUT HEY! YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY! HOW DID YOU LIKE IT? I COULDN'T FIND THE NAME OF THE LOVELY READER WHO REQUESTED THIS BUT THIS ONE'S FOR YOU! HOPEFULLY, LOTS OF CUDDLES AND AMENDMENTS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS! AND WE HAVE REACHED AN ASTRONOMICAL 359K READS?!! AMAZING...I LOVE YOU ALL AND APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! STAY SAFE!)

QUESTION...WIERDEST THINGS ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS SAID THAT MADE YOU LOOK AT THEM FUNNY?

Mine was...during an art lesson in Year 9, my friend turned to me and randomly confessed whilst we were chatting that her dad once glared at her for watching two pigeons have sex. And we were sitting near the front and it was dead silent.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3