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Chapter 61- desperations

(Y/N) POV:

I can't stop the violent fluttery feeling in my stomach, nor the wide smile that stretches across my face, nor the heat radiating off my cheeks. I said it. I love Jinnie oppa. All of them actually. And I don't regret saying it, the only regret I do have is that I didn't get to say it in a meaningful moment- instead, it was tacked on to the end of my apology. It was hurried.

And I don't know how he reacted to it, or even if he'd heard it or processed it. Maybe it was too soon for him? Maybe I threw it at him when he wasn't ready. But I couldn't stop the sentiment ringing true and making each and every one of nerves thrum with the feeling- giddiness, elation, and certainty. There was no confusion or hesitation on my end.

I loved them.

And I couldn't wait to let them all know. So with the smile still stretched across my face I reached the photography room where Eunwoo was currently waiting, to show me the photographs before he submitted them.

I spotted him immediately on entry and hurried over.

I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him close and swaying his seated figure from side to side briefly.

"Morning Eunwoo!" I chimed, easily noting the exuberance in my own voice.

He twisted to face me, eyes sliding off the screen to scrutinise my face before his own split into a matching expression of joy.

"Bond going well then?" he teased, eyes twinkling.

I hummed in response, eyes crinkling at the thought of them.

"I never thought I'd see the day where you so happy with your soulmates. I'm really glad for you." he says, words earnest.

"Thank you Eunwoo...really." I say back, hoping that my sincerity and love for him is conveyed through those words. He has been one of those buoys keeping me afloat- stopping me from drowning in my own pessimism and downward spiral. Eunwoo is safety.

"Do you wanna see them then?" he asks, drawing my attention back to the reason I'm here in the first place, and I nod, biting my lip as I wonder how they'll have turned out.

But the photos are so incredibly moving, so raw and vulnerable in the way how each photograph captures a penetrating sense of loneliness, of isolation, of an emptiness. From the first photo where I sit looking dead straight into the camera, to the one where I only wear the green sweater- all of them show moments of being alone, of the most vulnerable moments.

It stirs up memories of what I have endured, have suffered, of days and months and years past but it doesn't strike me with chords of despair as it always would, it stirs up feeling of strength- that I can look at the photos and see how far I've come, I can look at them and see something I've overcome. The difference between who I am now and who I was then...it makes me feel happy.

EUNWOO POV:

It's nearing midday- and I've submitted the photographs, all I can do know is hope for the best. I haven't seen Kookie and Tae hyung, so I figure that they are yet to submit theirs and just on cue they come rushing in, faces red and slightly out of breath, eyes frantically scanning the room until they spot me. Their eyes widen in comical unison and they come rushing towards me, behind them the door slams open again and soon the rest of them save for (Y/N) are rushing in, all heading to my direction. I wonder what it is that they want, and why they're all eyeing me with a unknowing glint in their eyes.

It makes me fear for my life and I don't know if I'll make it out alive between the seven of them who encircle me.

"Have you guys submitted your work?" I ask Tae hyung and Kookie, trying to break the cloying silence.

There is a few beats of silence and then—

"Of course, have you Eunwoo-ah?" a deceptively calm voice comes from Kookie, from the guy who's extremely energetic when he's with me and our friends.

Something's wrong, something's off.

"Yeah- done and dusted. (Y/N) came by this morning to see them." I add, but I don't know why caution creeps into my tone.

"Ah...she's seen them then. How did it go Eunwoo-ah? I told you that I would be glad to model." Seokjin hyung says but there's a waver in his voice, eyes too alert to pass off the calm façade he's trying to show with the casual gait he stands with.

"It's okay hyung! (Y/N) always model for my projects like these. She really fits in well with the themes I do, and we've been doing this for quite a long time." I chirp but don't miss the way Yoongi hyung's eyes slowly slide to Jimin hyung's, some sort of silent communication happening.

I mean... I could tune in and hear but I decided against it. Clearly, they were here with some intention. And even without listening to their thoughts, I had an inkling perhaps of what it could be.

You're going to have to work harder guys, if you want what it is I think you want...I mused.

"So...uh, how come you're all here?" I ask.

They all exchange furtive glances, and I stand up, stretching my limbs as I raise my arms over my head.

"Well then, you guys have fun. I'll get going, I'll be having lunch with (Y/N)." I say, packing up my bag and turning off the computer I was working at, making sure everything is saved before I log off.

The others startle in alarm, I have to duck back down to hide the grin that spreads across my face.

"Lunch with (Y/N)?" Yoongi hyung asks, eyes roving over me in a scrutinising look that would usually make anyone cower, me included, if I didn't know what a softy he really was.

"Yup it's tradition! After every project (Y/N) helps me with, we go grab a meal together, a little thanks for helping me out..." I ramble excitedly before cutting myself off smiling.

I don't care if it's selfish, but I want to keep this to myself. I want to share in my happiness with her, why do they need to know that afterwards we go on a long walk and talk about our heartaches, our burdens but also our joys? It's something me and (Y/N) share, and honestly...I want to keep it to myself.

The others have mixed expressions but downcast is one they all sport. It makes me bubble up with joy and pride that (Y/N) has soulmates who will undoubtedly remain her pillars of support and strength. Not to mention they look like kicked puppies with the way they're pouting since they've heard me talk.

I step around them, going to leave the room.

"Bye then! See you soon." I nod towards the hyungs and throw a cheerful smile before ducking out of the room quickly, door closing behind me.

But I don't leave. Instead I wait for a few moments and there it is.

"How could you just let him leave?"

"Now how are we supposed to ask to see the photos?"

"Ask?! We didn't even get around to asking!"

"Jungkook-ah, do you know Eunwoo's log in?"

"Yah! Are you seriously suggesting we break into his account?"

"Let's just do it and get it done with already."

"Yoongi! Don't even act like you weren't one of the most eager!" an affronted and angry voice yells.

The outburst of voices continue, I let them bicker amongst themselves and listen to them loudly strategize a way of breaking into my account and somehow retrieving the photos or going as far as to go steal my project entry.

Their voices carry out, light teasing and fond remarks thrown in the midst of their argument and it's been over another five minutes when I decide to make my move.

I throw open the door and breeze in, fighting the urge to burst out laughing at the startled looks that overtake their face and bodies freeze.

I walk over and then pause- pretend to be confused as to why Kookie is sitting on the seat I've vacated, furiously tapping away at the keyboard until he too turns to me with an expression resembling a deer caught in headlights. It's both amusing and endearing.

"Why you guys so surprised? I forgot my bag, that's all." I say gesturing to said bag which sits innocently under the table.

Hobi hyung reaches down to retrieve it, handing it over with a sunny smile that doesn't light up his eyes as usual.

"Here you go! Aigoo...you're almost as bad as Joon-ah, he's always losing his stuff." He says as he raises his hand to ruffle at my hair with a fond look.

Behind him Namjoon hyung protests, mouth agape, it makes a laugh bubble out of my chest.

"I'll leave you guys to it...whatever it is. It's a good thing I found my bag, it had the USB which had copies of my photoshoot with (Y/N)- might've needed it later." I tack on, shrewdly observing as their eyes now focus and narrow down onto the bag I clutch between my hands.

"Now I've really got to get going. Have a nice day." I say, unable to hide the laughter creep into my voice as I see their faces.

It makes me feel bad for them...almost.

But not bad enough.

Because I can't stop calling over my shoulder as I leave.

"Next time...just ask. Who knows, maybe you'd have seen them by now?" I say as I leave, a grin lit up on my face.

JOON POV:

I groan as the door shuts again behind Eunwoo. We've been played. And caught out. And we still didn't manage to get the photos or even see them.

The anticipation is killing me.

Has been since the moment (Y/N) mentioned it this morning and before everything turned to chaos with her declaration of love. Being with (Y/N) reminds me of the early stages of the rest of us bonding and learning we're soulmates. That tender early stage of falling in love, falling for each other's quirks and cute endearing habits.

"So he knew?" Yoongi hyung states matter-of-factly. But I can hear the slight bite in his tone.

Oh boy. His anger is bubbling.

"Gods! We should've just asked!" Jiminie bemoans, leaning against the table with a dejected look on his face.

Tae stands there, arms crossed, eyes still fixed on the door through which Eunwoo has just left.

"I should've just used my ability, why did we even try to be secretive?" he huffs, and the implications of his words hit me.

If Tae had used his ability, we wouldn't be skulking around the photography room like this in the first place. Now Jin hyung groans.

"That boy...aish. And I can't believe his bag had the USB this entire time and we were trying like fools to open his account up." He says, hand dragging down his face.

Are we ever going to get to see them at this rate?

But the answer comes to mind almost immediately. The photo exhibition for the students. But...we will get to see them at the same time as everyone else, everyone will get to see our soulmate looking so sinfully tempting in that green sweater.

It makes my heart thud violently just thinking about that day, how alluring and innocent she had managed to look simultaneously. Her eyes wide and innocent as they gazed at us, not yet secure or comfortable around us, and yet the tantalising sight of her clad in only a sweater and nothing else, perfectly capturing the image of something only we should be able to see. As her soulmates.

Life was not being fair to us at the moment. But what I did know was...we needed to get our hands on those photos after the project was finished being graded.

(Y/N) POV:

Eunwoo and I have finished our meal and we are on our way back from taking a walk around the large conservation park that's on the outskirts of Seoul, a little while away from campus. Eunwoo had been giddy when he'd met me, a secretive smile on his face and a knowing glint in his eyes. And he hadn't spilled what it was, not for a long time anyways.

Now that we were making our way out, he was regaling me with a tale of how he'd found all of my soulmates in the photography room trying all sorts of methods to get their hands on the photographs Eunwoo had taken of me.

"So you're telling me that they were trying to hack into your account?" I ask incredulously as we come to a stop, my feet halting as I listen to him explain.

"YES! Gods (Y/N)...you're lucky that it had been me and not someone else, and that they desperately want to see your photos. I'd say Operation-make-(Y/N)'s-soulmates-jealous-and-head-over-heels is a success! Go me!" he cheers raising his fists in a victorious motion.

Just as I turn to question the awfully long operation name and the fact that he didn't have a hand, well much of anyways, in bringing us closer, there's a figure who suddenly collides with Eunwoo, sending them nearly toppling to the ground had it not been for the stranger's quick reflexes. His hands come to catch Eunwoo around the waist, steadying him and setting him upright again.

He quickly withdraws his hands, bowing quickly and straightening to look Eunwoo in the eyes as he apologises.

Just as the man is about to turn away, Eunwoo's hand darts out and wraps around his wrist.

"Wait! At least tell me your name." he asks, I'm a bit surprised at the action but stay silent.

The man turns, eyes wide as they fall onto where Eunwoo's hand grips at his wrist. His lips part in shock and surprise, and I see his eyes fill with wonder, his body enveloped with rays of pink and yellow.

His eyes glitter as he speaks.

"I'm Kim Myungjun." He breathes out, looking up at Eunwoo.

"I'm Cha Eunwoo." He speaks, voice a little breathy.

I glance between the two.

"Who knew of all places I'd find my soulmate here? Pleasure to have found you Eunwoo." Myungjun says, stepping closer to Eunwoo, hand going to cup his face with a fluttery movement. As if he can't believe it.

My eyes widen and my heart bursts with joy for the two of them.

The two look at each other like there's no-one else, as if they exist in a bubble of their own, so entranced by each other, like two puzzle pieces slotting together.

"And you are?" Myungjun's gaze flitters over to me, voice kind and gentle.

"(L/N) (Y/N). Lovely to meet you Myungjun-ssi." I say warmly, able to tell from their interaction alone that he's going to be a wonderful soulmate for Eunwoo. And that he's a genuine and kind person.

"Shall we continue this somewhere else? May I take you both to get a drink at the very least?" Myungjun says earnestly, the unwillingness to let his soulmate go, so soon clear in his voice.

Eunwoo glances at me, a silent question, I nod back at him reassuringly.

"That would be lovely Myungjun." Eunwoo says, face still awestruck as his eyes rake in his soulmate, drinking in the sight of him.

And right here, is the beginning of something beautiful, something new.

(TA DA! HOW DO YOU FIND THIS CHAPTER MY LOVELIES? I'M SO, SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING YESTERDAY BUT I WAS VIDEO CALLING MY FRIENDS AFTER QUITE SOME TIME AND SO COULDN'T. I HOPE THIS WARM FLUFFY CHAPTER MAKES UP FOR IT, FEATURING WHAT A SPECIAL SOMEONE TALKED TO ME A LONG TIME AGO ABOUT HOW THAT PARTICULAR SCENE WOULD PLAY OUT. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE LOVELY! 😉 ANYWAYS...EUNWOO AND MYUNGJUN!! I REALISED WE NEVER REALLY KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM, BUT DON'T WORRY! HIS BEAUTIFUL LOVE IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN GLIMPSES TOO PERHAPS! STAY SAFE AND SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!)

BTW- STAY GOLD BY BTS?!! LIKE...HOW MANY SURPRISES WILL YOU GIVE ME BEFORE MY HEART GIVES OUT ON ME? THE TITLE ITSELF REMINDED ME OF ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS I'VE EVER READ IN A BOOK, ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO STAY GOLD- BECAUSE THAT'S SOMETHING REALLY HARD TO KEEP A HOLD OF, GOLD BEING SOMETHING VALUABLE AND PRECIOUS BUT SO EASILY TARNISHED OR CHANGED. TO STAY AS SOMEONE PRECIOUS, TO BE UNCHANGING IN AN EVER CHANGING WORLD. MY LOVELIES...STAY GOLD!

Don't let yesterday's you decide how you live in the present. Don't let the woes of today affect the way you see your tomorrow. Life is constantly surprising and changing, live each day fully, and live tomorrow without regrets. Wake up to a brand-new day, and just promise to yourself- to live better than you have before.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3

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