YOONGI POV:

It's the feeling of being utterly and completely helpless, hearing (Y/N)'s heartbeat skyrocket at Yuna's words and the way her breaths quicken and become irregular. The way her hand suddenly seems lifeless in my own and it is my own tight grasp that wants to hold her close to me, near me and away from Yuna. As much as I want to just walk past Yuna, I know I can't just leave things like this. It's not fair on us, it's most definitely not fair to (Y/N).

She deserves the right to withhold the pain of her past and the secrets she's buried to protect herself, I do want her to open upto us. But not like this. Not because she was compelled to. Because she was pushed to a point of no return by someone. Someone from beyond our bond made it worse.

I knew how it felt to open up, I knew how hard it was to lay yourself bare, naked, and vulnerable when all the truth was out. I knew how it felt to think that every gaze, every touch was suddenly unwelcoming and foreign. (Y/N) didn't deserve that. She wouldn't go through that. Not if I could help it.

"It doesn't matter what she's hiding, what her past is. She deserves her privacy and the last person I'll let invade that, is you Yuna." I bite out between gritted teeth.

She seems shocked before she schools her expression into one of distaste.

"Are you sure...I could make her speak for you. Hell...I could make her scream if you want." She says, words dripping with what I think she assumes is allure.

I feel (Y/N) flinch next to me. Not small or hidden. A full body flinch. And I know that those words have hit too close to home- there's some truth in them. And I'm fearing for what'll happen when we do find out.

Yuna steps forward, staying clear of me but stalking over to (Y/N)'s side, I pull her into me instantly but Yuna's hand darts out and wraps around her wrist, jerking her violently towards her instead. I try to keep my grip loose, I don't her want her hurt by this sudden violent tug-of-war Yuna has created.

There is a considerable height difference between Yuna and (Y/N), Yuna is glaring down at (Y/N) leaning in so their faces are mere centimetres apart.

"I can ruin you (Y/N). Don't push this further than it needs to go." She hisses, flecks of spit flying free from those crimson lips.

But (Y/N) is unflinching. Her eyes show me that she's affected but her voice is firm and unwavering.

"You're the one pushing boundaries Yuna, don't make this ugly." She hisses back and even in her petite frame, she seems to occupy the space, her words and aura making her appear as though she is towering over Yuna instead.

And then (Y/N) yanks her wrist out of Yuna's grip, unblinking as Yuna's sharp claws leave a trail of reddening marks on her soft skin and then she's tugging me along, moving me out of my frozen stupor as she walks, each stride determined and purposeful.

I realise, not for the first time, that (Y/N) is strong and brave. And with us, there's no way we'll let her fall weak.

When we enter the house, it's the grim set of (Y/N)'s lips so different to how cheery they usually are and so different to the way they'd been only a while ago- kissed until they were swollen, that tell me that this was the last straw. This is (Y/N) with a purpose. This is (Y/N) who is ready to take Yuna down.

And I'd be lying if I said, it didn't both intimidate me and impress me.

(Y/N) POV:

Everything Yuna has said and done makes me quickly realise she has her claws in deep, she has no intention of backing down or letting go of her obsession.

But it's upto me to decide when and how my life gets revealed, how my past becomes unfolded and bare for all to see, not Yuna. I'm not allowing her to become the puppeteer that chooses when and how to string me along and control my actions.

But the hard thing is, deciding how and when to tell them.

And I know I do need to, every relationship requires trust- and I do fully trust them, I just don't trust myself and whether they'll want the shattered me when it all comes out.

"(Y/N)-ah, give me your wrist please." Jinnie oppa says, having sat me down the moment he'd spotted the scratches trailing on my wrist. I hold it out, barely processing his words, my mind is bombarded with an endless stream of thoughts.

Something cold, something sharp that stings is being applied and I wince, looking as he gently cleans it, hands so careful and tender in contrast to the angry red the scratches have become.

"It's fine Jinnie oppa, did Myungsoo oppa leave?" I ask, distracting him and trying to get him to lose the tightness in his eyes and the set clench of his jaw.

He nods, breathing out slightly as he looks up at me.

"(Y/N), why must you act brave all the time? You are allowed to be weak in front of us." He says, astutely reading my emotions despite the blank face I've schooled on.

"I know oppa...but I need to be strong for what's to come. I need all my strength for what I want to say. It's just if I let myself be weak now, I won't be able to defeat Yuna." I whisper into the hands that have finished tending to my wrist and are now cupping my face.

I feel his lips press against mine in a soft chaste kiss, a soft quick press of lips against my own.

"Don't be afraid sweetheart." Jinnie whispers against my mouth.

And with those words, I gather my resolve and strength.

"I'm not." I breathe out, and it's the truth. It's time.

-----

After dinner, the others settle down around me in a circle, I'd been too nervous to eat anything except a few bites before I spent the reminder of the time pushing my food around the plate or feeding it to Tae who'd accepted each bite albeit with a worried gaze.

I wiped my hands on my denim clad thighs, palms clammy, I fidget with the hem of my top, twisting it round and round, straightening it, smoothing it and then doing it all over again.

My stomach is churning violently, in upheaval as I try to even out my breathing, try to push down my rising sense of nausea.

A hand settles over my fidgeting ones, stilling them and I look up to see Hobi oppa's usual sunny disposition dimmed slightly but warm and bright, nonetheless.

He doesn't need to say anything, he just sends a rush of calming energy flowing through my veins with the touch. I twist my hand to grip at his fingers gratefully.

I take a deep breath.

"I'm going to tell you about my past, but I need you all to just listen with an open mind." I say.

"You don't need to pressurise yourself (Y/N)-ah." Jiminie says, face serious and void of his usual cheery expression.

"I know. But I want to. Need to. And it's time you knew." I reply, shooting a soft smile at him, relaxing further when he beams back.

It takes several silent minutes of me mustering up my courage, silent minutes that both drag on and seem like they've never occurred with how quick they fly by.

"Do you want us to perhaps ask questions? If that'll lessen the pressure that is." Tae offers, never failing to amaze me at how adept he is at reading my mind.

I nod. A quick lowering of my head.

"Can you tell us about your parents?" Jinnie oppa asks softly. It's one question that I'm not afraid of, one that brings a smile to my face at the thought of them.

"They're...they were amazing. So in love with each other, my dad looked at my mum like she hung the stars in the sky and she looked at him like he was her entire universe. They always had this bubble of happiness and love over them, wherever they went and they were the best parents I could ask for. So caring, so helping, so encouraging. It was perfect until my mum died." My voice breaks at the end, shattering the soft glow of memories with the harsh sting of how it had all ended.

I feel Hobi oppa's hand squeeze mine, a silent reassurance to take my time.

"And then...a couple of years later, my dad died. And then I was all alone." I whisper into my lap, not bothering to wipe the tears away that fall.

It hurts to remember; it hurts so much that it's a reminder of the numbness I had fallen into afterwards.

I stop talking, trying to recollect myself, the lump in my throat becomes suffocating- something that makes it hard to breathe past, until my breaths are pants- shallow and desperate as I try to face out the tidal waves of grief that once again drown me.

"Take your time..." a low voice calls out, washing away the tidal wave with its own softer gentler wave of persuasion.

Once I'm calm again, I squeeze Hobi oppa's hand, letting him know I'm ready for another question.

So that's how it continues, questions which I answer that give a small glimpse of the glittering childhood I once had before it was cruelly snatched away from me prematurely. It's easy to give answers to questions about what I was like as a child, easy to talk about how my parents met, not easy to talk about how bleak my life had become when I'd found JB oppa and then later on the others.

The questions don't come as to how my parents died, they don't ask and I don't give it away. That's something that requires me to muster every single cell in my body and compel myself to relive that horror. One that is too fresh in my mind and too agonising to speak about. If there was another way to tell them, then I would. One that didn't require me to speak. If I could only show them.

"(Y/N)-ah, what are you thinking?" Yoongi oppa asks, eyes shrewdly picking up on the way my mouth has twisted downwards and I'm gnawing at my lip.

"Just...just if there was a way to show you my past without having to say it all." I reply.

Speaking about my past had left me feeling raw and vulnerable, emotions all over the place. It was something I didn't want to go through over and over.

Kookie's face changed, downcast expression wiping off and a glare making its way onto his face.

"What is it Koo?" I ask. Just because I was on an emotional rollercoaster, didn't mean I became blind to the shift in my soulmates' mood.

"I feel so stupid! You could've used my memories ability to share it with the group...instead I made you talk it all out, I'm so use—" I cut him off, finger pressed onto his lips.

"Do NOT finish that sentence Jeon Jungkook. You are not useless. You're human. And I should've thought of it." I firmly say watching as his eyes widen before he's nodding sheepishly.

I take my finger away but he grabs my wrist gently before I can move away.

"But the offer will always stand, whenever you're ready." He promises.

And I know it will be. They will always be there too.

"I know." Is all I need to say.

And with all of them surrounding me, I know. That I'm not alone. That even before I'd found them, I never truly had been.

(THERE WE HAVE IT! A NEW CHAPTER...DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT HONESTLY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WILL BE TO READ, MAYBE IT WAS A PILE OF TRASH BUT IT NEEDED TO BE DONE. HONESTLY...THERE WAS GOING TO BE A HUGE TWIST AND REVEAL IN THIS CHAPTER BUT THEN I DIDN'T WRITE IT...I FEEL HER PAST NEEDS TO COME OUT NATURALLY, NOT BECAUSE OF THE SITUATION OR BECAUSE (Y/N) FELT COMPELLED TO. SHE...AND EVERYONE ELSE DESERVES THE RIGHT TO THEIR PRIVACY- IT'S NOT A LACK OF TRUST, MORE SO THAT SHE IS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED TO OPEN THAT PART OF HER TRAUMA UP YET. BUT WE ARE BACK AT NUMBER ONE FOR THE BTSFANFIC TAG WITH 85K READS! THAT'S DOWN TO YOU, NO-ONE ELSE BUT YOU ALL. EVERY SINGLE READER WHO STUMBLED ACROSS MY WRITING AND DECIDED TO GIVE IT A TRY. SO THANK YOU SO MUCH! SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK!)

You define who you are, not your name and not the world. Just you.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3