(Y/N) POV:

When I heard all seven of them promise, it did help the panic abate but the hollowness I was feeling, the utter sense of loss and defeat had made me feel like I was a shell, lost in an endless abyss of darkness and completely lost with no hope of getting out. We all made our way downstairs, setting down into the chairs around the dining table, the boys all started making conversation but I couldn't find the will in me to respond or interact, words flying over my head, the habitual fidgeting of my fingers began but they were shaking too, trembling violently and I needed to fist them tightly to prevent anyone from noticing.

I was staring intensely at the table, so immersed in the act that I didn't realise that they had been trying to get my attention until a hand came to gently rest on top of my clenched hands. I looked up, to see Hoseok looking at me with worried eyes.

"Hey, you back with us?" he said, words low so only I could hear him.

I looked at him slightly puzzled.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"We've been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes." He said.

Oh.

"Is there something worrying you?" he asked but this time I knew despite the bustling activity of the kitchen and the phones the maknaes were competing against each other on, their ears were turned towards our conversation.

There was a lie at the tip of my tongue, that I'm fine, there's nothing bothering me. But I remembered the promise I had made to Seokjin, I had promised to try my best. I also remembered another promise I had made a long time back, one that came to surface on days like today. That I'd try to be happy. That I'd let myself move on. It was one I struggled to keep.

"Yes." I said and that word alone stressed the agony that I was trying to keep at bay, I couldn't keep the tremble out of that word nor could I stop the prickling sensation that stung at the corners of my eyes, I scrubbed furiously at my eyes determined not to let any more tears to fall, nor would I ruin the atmosphere.

I heard the others scramble to surround me, but I twisted away slightly.

"Not now..." I whispered, I knew all it would take was one more nudge and my walls would crumble to dust and the façade I had held for so long, of being strong and unbothered, would come crashing down.

"No, you need to eat first." Seokjin said as he and Yoongi set down the dishes onto the table.

Though the food smelt great and no doubt tasted it too, today the usually appealing sight and smell of food just made my stomach churn with nausea, I wasn't going to be able to keep anything down. I knew that from experience. Nausea rolled through my body in crashing tides and I gripped the edge of the table tightly, knuckles whitening with the tightness of the grip.

"Come on (Y/N), your stomach emptied itself last night. You need to eat." Namjoon said and whilst I'd never normally hesitate to eat, just the thought of food going into my mouth was enough for my throat to tighten in repulsion.

Yoongi was sitting next to me, Jimin on my other side, and he began silently serving food onto my plate, filling it up. I eyed the smoothie and I could already envision the thickness as it sealed up my throat, so I just reached out for the jug of water filling my glass before taking small, careful sips.

I felt eyes boring into me from my right side and then a gentle tapping on my hand.

"Aren't you going to eat (Y/N)-ah?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"I don't think it'll stay down." I said, ashamed that they went to so much effort, but I couldn't eat it.

"Don't force yourself (Y/N)-ah." Seokjin said gently from his seat opposite me and I looked up to see his eyes full of warmth.

Instead I settled for cutting up my food and transferring it to Yoongi and Jimin's plates, a smile coming to my lips as I heard the others complain about it.

Even when I was at my lowest, they made me smile.

I waited for them to finish up before heading into the living room, plopping down into the middle of the couch whilst grabbing a cushion to hold onto.

The others piled in, settling down into an impromptu circle around me.

But before I could even open my mouth to speak a firm voice cut in.

"Let's get our facts right. (Y/N), you are not cursed and do not dare to ever refer to yourself as such."

HOBI POV:

Before (Y/N) got to speak, I knew I had to lay it all out on the line.

"Let's get our facts right. (Y/N), you are not cursed and do not dare to ever refer to yourself as such." I said, stern and firm as I looked at her from where I sat in front of her.

She didn't meet my eyes, anyone's really so I reached out a hand to tilt her face to meet my own, eyes looking into hers.

"Never." I said, uttering those words whilst looking at those lost eyes that gazed at me.

She shook her head, mouth opening to protest.

"If you knew you'd understand why. If you knew, you wouldn't want me." She said, head turning away in shame, but I reached out to stop her from moving away.

"You are NOT a burden; you are NOT cursed. And do you know how I know? Because around you there's always this special, unique energy that I haven't found on anyone else. Your energy screams of your kind soul (Y/N), don't put yourself down." I said finally uttering the words I had longed to say for a long time.

(Y/N)'s energy signature seemed to cocoon her, wrapping itself around her like an embrace, it seemed to be alive and humming in content as it shrouded (Y/N).

"Even if your aura gets dark, there is always something that never changes. You have this glimmer of pure love and strength that always surrounds you and it speaks for itself. No matter how you change or what you go through, that streak never changes." Namjoon added, earnest as he reached to gently cup (Y/N)'s hand which lay on her knee.

Her hand came up to rub at her eyes violently before Jimin gently cupped it and lowered it, hand still clutching hers. Her eyes were tearing up.

"I'm lost and I don't know how to be found." She whispered.

"We'll help you (Y/N), let us carve a new path for you." Taehyung said, wrapping an arm around her, smiling when she leaned into the touch.

"Can...can you guys come with me? There's somewhere I need to go." She said, voice teary but stable as she looked up at me.

I nodded.

"Of course, we will." we answered, hearts clenching as the bond flooded with sadness.

(Y/N) POV:
Outfit:

I got to my feet, going to go wash up and change out of my pyjamas, selecting one of the few black clothes I owned. After getting dressed I looked in the mirror and saw a painful reminder. A shadow of the past. A faded, ruined version of my mum. I looked hard to see a trace of her, a lingering remnant that she had stuck by me but even the appearance deceived me. She had always been full of joy, expression lit with an inner radiance, a smile curling her lips and eyes shining with an excitement to live. Not this husk that I saw staring at me.

I made my way down the stairs, each step painful as I thought of where I was heading.

The guys were all waiting at the door and I had no strength to look them in the eyes, but I tried to silently convey how much it meant for them to be with me, especially on today's date of all days. I hoped they could tell how thankful and grateful I was for them and even if they'd refused, I'd never stop being thankful.

I just walked out silently, thankful for the seven presences- their bodies acting as though they were my shadow- but one I didn't need to fear, one I would and could gladly embrace.

I slid into the passenger seat next to Yoongi, grateful that they didn't ask questions but just followed me.

"Where to?" Yoongi asked, voice gruff but I could hear the care under it.

I typed in the address into the car's in-built sat-nav, pressing start and leaning my head against the window.

The journey was silent, but I could sense the positive emotions Seokjin was pushing out as well as the calming energy Hoseok was emitting. It warmed me and thawed the icy weight that was rooted deeply in me, chipping away at its edges.

When we had nearly reached, I recognised a familiar sign and without looking grabbed Yoongi's hand.

"Stop please." I said and when he had, I got out the car and head into the shop, greeting the male florist who stands behind the counter.

"I'm here to pick up my order. It's under (L/N) (Y/N)." I said and he nods before hurrying off to bring out two gorgeous bouquets of flowers, pink carnations, and soft purple roses.

I bowed my head in thanks before leaving, silently entering the car before Yoongi continued driving until we finally reached where we were headed to.

The guys followed as I entered the memorial hall, silent as we walked until we reached a large space, I set the bouquets down on the alcove dedicated to my mum, sinking down onto my knees as I looked at the framed photo of her smiling and laughing and another where she and my dad had their arms around each other.

I smiled at the sheer joy that emanated from her face.

"Hello mum. How've you been? It's been some time, I'm sorry...life got a bit hectic, but I shouldn't use that as an excuse. I hope you're happy and at peace. I, I-uh bonded with my seven soulmates- you were right about that." I broke off with a sad smile remembering her adamant words that I'd have numerous soulmates. She wasn't wrong.

I took a deep breath, trying to settle the shakiness.

"I'm, I'm sorry mum. I wish I had been old enough to help you, but I failed you as a daughter and there's not a single day where I don't regret it." I bit my lip as tears started to fall, vision blurring.

The lump in my throat grew until I felt like my breath was being constricted, throat closing in on itself before a large hand settled on my back and the word 'breathe' uttered low and then suddenly my lungs were breathing in air, large gulps of them.

"I can't ever get it out of my head mum, I try so, so hard. I keep on trying but it feels like I'm losing." I sob, hands covering my face as the truth comes out through hiccupping breaths.

I take a few moments to try and compose myself, fingers shaking as they wipe away the tears.

"But I want you to know, I love you so, so much. And I will not give up." I vowed.

The others crowded around me, reassuring me through their presence I wasn't alone. It did make me momentarily conscious of how much they'd heard but it was a step into the direction of opening up.

"Mrs (L/N), thank you for gifting us, gifting the world with someone so precious. And I swear we will never ever give up on showing her how much she means to all of us." Seokjin spoke up.

The others murmured in agreement, bowing their heads in respect. A while later, lost in my thoughts, I got to my feet.

I gently stroked her smiling face through the glass frame, kissing the tips of my fingers before placing it on her cheeks.

"I'll visit again soon mum." I promised.

-----

I huffed as I struggled to get out the blanket burrito I had been tightly wrapped into courtesy of Taehyung and Jimin who now sat triumphantly on my either side grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't move." I protested, eyes wide as the two laughed, nodding their heads.

"That's the idea. You've put us all in a coddling mood. Now deal with it." Jimin retorted.

My eyes that had ached and felt sore from crying so much were now crinkling with laughter and mock annoyance.

I did feel guilt creeping up earlier at the though of me laughing, so freely and happily on the date of my mum's death anniversary but her words "never stop living" echoing far louder in my ears, overwhelming the guilt that had now ebbed away.

I watched as they snacked, feeding each other, but I couldn't. My hands were trapped on either side, pinned inside the tightly wrapped blanket.

Taehyung seemed to notice my struggles and the glares I'd been directing at them because he swooped up a strawberry and brought it to my mouth.

I opened my mouth so he could slip the fruit in, tongue accidentally swiping against his fingers as I chewed on the fruit.

Suddenly the atmosphere in the room shifted. His eyes taking a darker deeper gaze as they narrowed on my mouth. I gulped, seeing the intense look in his eyes, his finger withdrawing out of my mouth but lingering on my lips, swiping at them gently. I felt the soft pressure of his fingertip tracing itself across my bottom lip and then my top lip. It was such a gentle caress, but it felt like each stroke left a burning trail of sparks behind.

I felt my heart begin to thud as he smiled, face so open and tender as he looked down at me but before he could do anything or I could say anything, there was a sudden invisible tug at my waist and I gently collided with Jimin's warm chest which reverberated with his deep chuckles at Taehyung's sound of indignation and the look of utter betrayal on his face.

(TA DA! SOME MORE ANGSTY FLUFF FOR YOU GUYS THERE! I'M SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE BUT IT GOT A BIT HECTIC TODAY- I REALISED I HAVENT STARTED MY SECOND ESSAY WHICH IS DUE IN DAYS, HAD TO GO ON A LARGE GROCERY MONTH- WHICH MEANT LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MARCH AND THEN MY MUM DECIDED SHE NEEDED ME IN THE KITCHEN TO HELP HER COOK SO EVERYTHING'S BEEN BUSY BUSY! SORRY FOR THE LATENESS, IT MAY HAVE THROWN SOME OF YOU OFF BECAUSE I DO TRY TO STICK TO A CERTAIN TIMING AND ALL BUT OOPS? ANYWAYS 7K READS...THE NUMBER IS NOW JUMPING DAY BY DAY WHICH JUST SHOW HOW MUCH YOU GUYS ARE SUPPORTING AND BOOSTING THIS STORY FURTHER AND FURTHER! I WAS SO INCREDIBLY CLOSE WRITING THE FIRST KISS BUT I DIDN'T WANT IT TO SEEM LIKE AN INCORRECT ATTEMPT AT AFFECTION AND FOR EITHER OR ANY ONE OF THE CHARACTERS TO FEEL BAD- I'M SOFT FOR THEM WHAT CAN I SAY! HMMM....DEPENDING ON MY PRODUCTIVITY LEVEL I MAY HAVE TO STOP FOR A DAY OR TWO TO GET MY ESSAY DONE BUT IF I DO MANAGE TO BE PRODUCTIVE AND STICK TO MY EXAM NIGHT SCHEDULE WHICH IS STAY AWAKE FROM 2AM ONWARDS THEN...WE MAY BE GETTING SOME WRITING. LET'S JUST SEE! ANYWAYS....PINK CARNATIONS ARE GIVEN TO A MOTHER OFTEN BUT! PURPLE ROSES MEAN ETERNAL LOVE BUT USUALLY ARE FOR A SPOUSE SO...WHAT'S THE DEAL THERE?? WHO KNOWS?? DO YOU THINK ANYONE CLOCKED?? I SWEAR WRITING CRYING SCENES MAKES ME FEEL AS THOUGH I DID ALL THE CRYING, GOSH! SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!)

Stay happy, healthy and safe all!

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3