[warning: this is a bit of a long one and I swear (no surprise)]

So someone asked "Have you ever even been bullied?" And you'd be surprised how many people have actually asked me that so I've decided that I'll share a quick shitty summarisation of my experience with bullying. 

For those of you who don't know, my name is Erick. By this point some of you will think I am a boy. I'm not. And children are cruel beings.

Growing up as a girl with a guys name sucked, especially when your mum dressed you like a boy and you grew up liking "guy things". I also didn't act or behave like a "lady". So I pretty much was bullied for my... "male characteristics" all throughout primary school.

It only got worse in high school. I was called a tranny, a wannabe guy and a whole slew of names I really don't wanna dig back and remember.

Let's move on from the name thing cause ya know, how can I further phrase that it pretty much sucked dick?

Racism. I am Indigenous Australian from the Yuin mob, Fijian, Chinese and Anglo-Saxon. Some of you know that if someone of a specific race is insulted most of the time anyone of the same race will defend them. Because I was the "mixed" one no one really cared, no one gave a rats ass about someone being racist towards me. I was once told that I should "Fuck off back to the bush with the rest of my alcoholic black fellas," and no one batted an eye.

Which brings me to my next topic. Drugs. There was a time when I was only thirteen where people said I was a drug addict. I was a hyperactive teen, I had always played sport as a child to get rid of that energy but I stopped at that age so there was no where my energy went. People mistook my hyperactivity for the effects of drugs and boom! Rumours worked their magic.

Moving on: my condition. So I was born with Multiple Hereditary Extosis which is pretty much benign tumours growing off my bones.

You see that weird and ugly ass lump on the leg? Yeah, that's one of my ones, or should I say three that are stacked on top of each other like some weird ass threesome! Oh, and those shit heads grow with me so it's not like I can "grow into them". 

I had people constantly commenting on how deformed my body looks cause of those and I literally had major self-image issues cause of it. I was embarrassed to wear anything that showed it off because literally everytime I was out I'd just worry that everyone could see it.

Which then brings me to the next thing. My anxiety. So I was clinically diagnosed with anxiety when I was ten. It was so bad I'd be hyperventilating standing outside my Mum's door when waking her up in the morning. And I did that every morning even though I had nothing to worry about. I couldn't walk anywhere without wanting to hide because "They're staring at me, they're watching me."

For those who don't know, anxiety isn't just hyperventilating (despite what I just said). Most of the time my anxiety would take the form of irritability and anger, I'd lash out at anyone and everyone which gave me the name "Rage" in high school.

Now I'm pretty sure most girls have experienced this but I'm gonna say it anyway. So I'm (sorta) pretty in the face, kinda:

But it's mainly the boobs (12DD fml) that had a lot of slut rumours roaming around my school. I was in Grade eight and I had Grade 12 guys talking 'sexual' to me which would trigger my anxiety, cause me to act rashly which made them call me rage or be racist or insult my tumours or my name/gender or whatever.

Pretty much it was just an endless streak.

And I think I'm done. There was my quick summarisation of that bull. If anyone has gone/going through the same crap then just know that I have too and you can talk to me. There's always someone somewhere who's willing to help.

#hugsagainsthate~