CHAPTER 12
AGING IS GROSS

BELLA Swan always had an expression that was a mix between despair and awkwardness. It's just the way she was, and she couldn't change that. So when Margo and Melinda spotted her by her locker that morning, she looked dreadfully tired of the day already, even though it was her birthday. She was pushing a wrapped gift into her locker, hesitantly picking at the edges of the wrapping paper with curiosity, when Melinda and Margo approached. Melinda raised her hands in the air, exclaiming, "We heard it was someone's –"

Bella immediately pressed a finger to her mouth. "Shush," she whispered.

"Birthday, she meant to finish," Margo replied, glancing to Melinda for a moment. "It's your birthday, right? Jacob said he gave you something."

Bella scratched at her forehead. "Yeah, yeah. He did." She bit her lip, making sure Jessica or any of her other friends were near. "Just keep it on the down low, alright?"

Margo's brow knitted together. "Why?"

"I just ..." Bella sighed, running a hand through her hair. She knew the two other girls wouldn't understand. No one would, except for Edward's family. Bella now had her disposition with birthdays, and nothing was going to change her mind about them until she had the ability to live forever. "I just don't like aging. It's gross."

Margo and Melinda shared a look, and the latter turned back to Bella with a frown. "So you, like, want to be a toddler?"

"No!" Bella whispered loudly, and then lowered her voice even more. "No, no. I just ... want to be a teenager forever. I don't know. Call me nostalgic, or bittersweet."

"That's not bittersweet, Bella," Margo said. "It means you're living in denial."

Bella tugged the ends of her sleeves over her hands. She rolled her eyes at Margo's comment before replying, "I'll forget what you just said and accept the birthday wish. Thanks, guys."

Melinda hugged her textbooks to her chest. "Are you having a party tonight for it?"

Bella viewed slightly to her left, spotting Edward and Alice waiting for her by the staircase to head to their class. She sighed as she met Edward's eyes, and a hint of a smile glistened off his pearly white teeth. Alice had the same intentions; Bella could tell. She wondered desperately what the smaller girl had planned for tonight, but on the other hand, she didn't. Bella glanced back to Margo and Melinda, finally retorting, "Unfortunately."

•••

"There are some ... rumors floating around the nurse's lounge lately," Jenny said that night as she stuck her fork into a large piece of chicken.

She made chicken Caesar salads for dinner, mainly because Jenny was on a major health kick lately. Her coworker had told her that Women's Health was reporting that this new autumn would bring in pumpkins as more of a decoration and a food source. "She said that vegetables are now normally kicked to curb after summer is over," Jenny recounted that night. "No one needs their summer bodies anymore." While Margo knew this new health strategy was just something to keep Jenny busy after getting back from a relaxing road trip, she did appreciate the delicious salads and smoothies her aunt was now making.

Margo's teeth crunched on a load of leafy greens in her mouth. She wiped her mouth coated in Caesar dressing before asking, "What rumors? Shouldn't you nurses be doing – I don't know – work?"

Jenny rolled her eyes and then clasped her hands together. "It's about Carlisle Cullen."

"Oh, and I bet you were more than happy to hear more about your boss."

"God, you're such an annoying kid sometimes." Jenny scoffed before taking another bite of her salad. "Apparently, people are growing suspicious of him. They're saying he's supposed to be ten years older than he looks."

Margo lofted a brow. "Maybe he just has good skin?"

"I should ask him what he uses to get rid of these eye bags," the aunt muttered, lifting the skin under her eyes up and down. "Anyways, there is a point here. Carlisle is – supposedly – almost forty, but he has zero wrinkles. We're basically the same age and I feel like my face is sinking in as we speak."

"He could be going to, like ... a dermatologist," Margo suggested. "Doctors make big bucks. There's no way he's not using it to make his skin better or for cosmetic surgery. I always thought he had a nose job."

Jenny shrugged, deciding to dismiss the topic at hand. Margo stood from her seat with her now empty bowl and placed it in the sink. While she rinsed it off with hot water, Jenny said, "I took the liberty of sorting through your mail today." Margo turned as her aunt then muttered, "And maybe looking through them."

Margo's mouth dropped. "That's an invasion of privacy!"

Her aunt looked over her shoulder. "Oh, shut up. They were scholarship letters anyways."

Margo took the three letters from her aunt's hand when she reached out to give them to her. She skimmed the contents of each page, biting her lip in anticipation at the words she read. Each one said the same thing: she got the scholarship. Some people were lucky to get one, but Margo got three. Now Jenny wouldn't have to worry so much about dipping into Margo's savings for college. (Of course, she'd have to. But these scholarships covered a good chunk of tuition and fees.) She began to bounce on the balls of her feet when she looked back to her aunt. "Oh, my God!" She screamed. "I got them!"

"You got them," Jenny repeated with a wide smile. The aunt stood from her chair and jumped around with her niece. The two laced their hands together and bounced in a circle while screaming louder than ever before. They were both so happy. Nothing could stop the joy erupting from their mouths.

They soon had to calm down, but Margo still couldn't stop her racing heart full of excitement. "You know, these scholarships would cover a good portion of UCSF's tuition," Jenny suggested, leaving Margo to sigh. "Why haven't you applied yet? You did early admission for all your other schools."

"I don't know," Margo shrugged. She walked back over to the dining table and sat down. "It's my dream school, but I'm too nervous to apply. I'll do it soon though."

Jenny nodded, her slippers patting against the floorboards to her niece. "I don't like to quote my crazy bitch of a sister that often, but as she said to me once," Jenny smiled, "'stop being a fucking pansy and do it.'"

•••

Margo's finger scrolled lazily on the University of California's admissions page. She planned on applying to their San Francisco school, because it happened to be her favorite part of Cali, and also a great place to study teaching. Margo knew teaching wasn't the greatest paying job, but she realized over the years that it became something that she was passionate about. If she could help someone learn something new, that was the greatest gift to her.

She sighed longingly, looking at the pictures of students and wishing they were her. She was glad this school was now going into the modern world and putting their applications online, unlike the other colleges she applied to. Margo laid on her bed, laptop resting in front of her while her chin lay in her hand. After hesitating for a long moment, Margo hit the button to apply.

Even thinking about college brought back memories she wanted to push away. They were memories from the time she lived with her parents, when they would berate her for even the littlest of things. If what she did wasn't perfect — even as a child — then she was a problem. In a way, Margo guessed their emotional distress made her into the brainiac she was now, but truthfully, sometimes she wished she wasn't like this. She would get annoyed at herself for own personality, but she simply couldn't help it. Her parents manipulated her into being nothing but the best, and that would continue in her for the rest of her life. With a shake of her head, Margo escaped her thoughts and skimmed the online application.

"Hey, are you even listening?"

Margo jumped at the nose, completely forgetting that her phone had been on speaker the whole time. She fulfilled her promise to Jacob that evening by calling him to discuss their next movie night. Margo was all for it – really, she was – but her mind was consumed by other matters.

"Yeah, yeah," she yawned loudly. "Actually, no. That was a lie. I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you had an idea for our next movie."

Margo typed out her name fast onto the application, finding it difficult to multitask. "Um ... I've been wanting to watch the Butterfly Effect for a while. It came out last year. Stars Ashton Kutcher."

Jacob said from the other end, "Okay, sounds like a plan. It's okay if my dad watches it with us, right?"

Margo paused as she typed out her date of birth. "Yeah, totally fine."

Jacob took a moment to think. His breath hovered on the other line. "Why do I feel like you're really busy right now?"

She frowned, picking up her flip phone and sighing into the speaker. "You're right," she replied. "I've been procrastinating on applying to my dream college, and I randomly just decided to do it today. I also have this, like, shitload of assignments to do and –"

"Whoa, slow down, tiger. Take a deep breath."

Margo rubbed at her temples. She took in a deep inhale. "I should get going. I really need to finish all this work." Her eyes bore into the bright screen of her laptop, and she sighed again. "Did you need anything else, Jake?"

"Yeah – um ..." Jacob paused. "Actually, I was gonna ask you ..."

Her eyes flickered from her laptop to her hands. "Ask me what?"

"Um ..." After a long moment, he cleared his throat. "Never mind. I'll talk to you later."

Margo didn't really give his goodbye much thought until he ended the phone call. She huffed, immediately reverting her thoughts back to the application in front of her. She was so focused on all her work that nothing held her back. An hour later, she hit submit on the application, and Jacob's almost-question had slipped from her mind completely.

•••

A/N: What do y'all think Jake's question was gonna be???? 🤔🤔🤔